Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Felicity lay there for a second. Or was it an hour? It felt like an hour.
She was praying fervently that maybe James had already driven off before it happened or, please, God , she’d fallen so far that she’d managed to end up in Australia where he couldn’t see her. But no. No, he was there, of course. He was still there and had seen the whole bloody thing and now he was getting out of his car and running over to her, and Felicity just wanted to die of shame. Her elbow and knee were on fire, but she hastily pulled herself up into a sitting position before he had to help her up like an old lady.
‘What are the chances that you didn’t just see that?’ she said, spitting out mud and grass as he approached.
James was standing over her now. He wasn’t laughing his head off, at least. ‘Um. Sure, okay. Yeah, I didn’t see anything.’
‘Liar.’
‘Are you okay?’
‘What, apart from the fact that I can never look at you again?’
James laughed then, but gently. ‘Yes, apart from that.’ He sat down beside her on the grass. ‘Are you hurt?’ he said, after a moment.
‘Just my pride. And my knee. My knee hurts.’
Felicity wanted to cry. She bit back the tears. She felt mortified.
What an absolute tool. Messed this right up, haven’t you?
James put his arm around her, and they sat for a moment like that, her head hovering just above his shoulder.
‘I can’t believe I did that.’
‘Don’t worry about it, we all fall over.’
‘Do we? Really? I mean, honestly… have you ever fallen over in front of a–?’ She nearly said ‘date’. ‘In front of someone else. Or is it just me? I’m so embarrassed.’
‘Don’t be, honestly.’
‘But have you though?’
‘No, no, I haven’t. But I could. So easily.’
‘I find that hard to believe.’
She shivered with cold, suddenly, and James pulled her closer.
‘Do you want me to take a look at your knee?’
‘No, no, I’ll be fine. Thank you though. It’s just my pride. I’d prefer it if you could somehow turn back time and forget this whole evening.’
‘After the night we’ve had? No way. I never want to forget this evening. Fall included.’
As if on a silent cue, they stood up, and turned towards each other. Felicity ached all over and desperately tried to straighten herself so he wouldn’t guess how much it hurt.
‘Thanks for not laughing your head off,’ said Felicity, looking up at him, knee throbbing, face burning . Oh, the actual mortifying horrendous shame.
James chuckled. ‘Oh, I will later, don’t worry about that. And I’ll be telling everyone I meet. Starting with Andrea.’
‘You total git.’
There was a long pause. She knew she should probably make a sharp exit. The embarrassment was still so raw. Her knee was getting worse by the second. Her face was probably one big grass stain. She could feel blood running down her leg.
Just go. Walk away. You’ve done enough damage for one evening.
‘See you on Monday, then,’ she said, looking into his handsome face.
James was looking down at her, smiling into her eyes. And then he was bending towards her, his lips brushed hers, gently at first, as if he didn’t want to hurt her. He drew back for a moment, and they blinked at each other in the dim orange light, and then they were kissing with an intensity that made Felicity’s entire body light up like a firework.
Well, hello there, Mr Penguin Man.
Finally, finally, her hands were in that tousled blond hair, and as his tongue touched hers she let out an involuntary moan of pleasure and all the trauma of the evening just melted away. James responded instantly, wrapping his strong arms around her, and pulling her close as they kissed more and more urgently. When his hand crept underneath her coat and caressed her back through her dress, lightly and deftly, her nerve endings sparked, boom, boom, boom, in succession. It was all a wonderful, delicious blur and she had the strangest sensation of falling, as if she could just fall right into him somehow.
As if she’d found the place she was always meant to be.
Just as she was about to let herself go completely, she felt him hesitate, and by some instinct she moved away from him, just an inch or two, so she could look right into those eyes. His pupils were huge, his eyes a sparkling blue now.
‘Everything okay?’
James was breathing hard.
‘Sorry. I don’t… I didn’t mean to do that,’ he said, running his hands through his own hair and making it stick out at all kinds of bizarre angles. ‘Watching a woman falling over just really turns me on.’
Felicity laughed and hit him on the arm lightly.
‘It felt like you meant to do it,’ she said, after a moment.
‘Okay, fine, I meant to do it, I meant every second of it… but I didn’t mean to make things even more complicated.’
‘I think it was already pretty complicated.’
‘It was, you’re right. It is. And I don’t just mean with you and your hundreds of exes turning up out of the blue.’
Her heart gave a lurch. ‘What does that mean, exactly? And it was just the one ex, may I remind you?’
‘Ha ha, you say that, but I bet you’ve got hundreds out there, all lurking, waiting for exactly the right moment to turn up out of the blue and beg you to take them back.’
‘Hardly. Trust me. And you’re avoiding my question.’
James dropped his eyes and kicked at the ground with one foot. ‘Am I? I suppose I am. I’ll explain another time, don’t want to ruin the moment and all that.’
What does that mean?
‘Please just tell me.’
‘Don’t worry. It’s nothing.’ He put his hands on her shoulders and lifted his eyes to look her square in the face. ‘Felicity Brooks, thank you, it’s been a lovely night.’
‘It really has.’
They stared at each other and, God, she wanted him to kiss her again. More than that. She never wanted to be without him again. Wanted to run off to the Bahamas with him and live in a wooden hut by the sea.
It was so tempting to invite him upstairs.
She nearly did. So nearly. The words were right there.
But, deep down, she knew he was right, that kiss hadn’t changed the fact that she needed to get her head straight. Oh, how badly she needed that. And now she had some serious alarm bells. What had he meant by ‘even more complicated’?
Besides, she needed a plaster and a bath. She was absolutely jam-packed full of Trinity cream and vegetable pie and onion soup and although it had been a fantastic meal, it perhaps wasn’t the sexiest preparation for a night of passion.
Mental note: Next time you go out for a non-date with Penguin Man… eat fewer carbs. Oh, and try not to fall over and make a complete tit of yourself.
She gave him one last lingering look, and then with great reluctance she turned and hobbled her painful way across the grass towards her building.
At least it hasn’t completely put him off. He’s still watching me walk away.