Chapter 34
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
After a week of torment from all angles, on Friday afternoon Andrea finally addressed the small matter of the penguin in the room.
‘So, any news from our mutual friend?’ she suddenly said during their lunch break, after a particularly busy morning doing meets and greets with potential rehomers.
Felicity feigned innocence. ‘Our mutual what?’
‘You know exactly who I mean. Tall? Broad?’ (So broad!) ‘Handsome? Blond? Am I ringing any bells yet?’
Felicity let out a giggle that she hoped sounded nonchalant. ‘Oh, him!’
Andrea raised one eyebrow and peered at her over her glasses. ‘Yes, of course, him. Penguin Man. James. Who else? Have you heard from him? Are you two getting it on or what?’
‘I really don’t think you’re supposed to ask me questions like this during work time,’ said Felicity, piously.
‘Fine, I’ll just ask you later.’
‘Fine.’
‘Fine.’ She paused. ‘Okay, no, we are not dating. No, I don’t know if he’s available. No, I haven’t seen him, and no, I don’t know what went wrong. Okay?’
She didn’t mention the planned coffee. She was nervous enough about it without getting Andrea all wound up.
‘Right,’ said Andrea, her mouth twitching.
‘What do you mean, right?’ said Felicity, voice strained with the effort of appearing breezy about this thing that she was most definitely not breezy about.
‘I mean, I don’t entirely believe you, but I’ll let it go for now.’
‘How can you not believe me? Why would I lie? And also, I really like him.’ Felicity hadn’t planned on saying this last bit. ‘I didn’t mean to say that last bit.’
‘I know.’
‘You know I didn’t mean to say that last bit or you know I really like him?’
‘Both.’
‘Right.’
‘Well, if it’s meant to be, it’ll work out,’ said Andrea.
‘I think that’s the most philosophical thing I’ve ever heard you say.’
‘Yes, well, what of it? Get on with your work, break time’s over.’
Felicity grinned. Andrea grinned right back. And with that, they both went back to work.
It was time.
It had only been three weeks since she last saw him, but it felt like way more revolutions of the earth than that. Things had changed. So many things.
Penguin Man was waiting in the Bex booth when she arrived, and he put his hand up in greeting and gave a little grin as she slid in beside him just as she had with Bex the week before. This time, her emotions were somewhat different. This time, she did spill some of her coffee on the table, which at least gave her an excuse not to look at him directly for a few moments while she mopped it up with her sleeve, the coffee smell soaking into the fabric and making her nose wrinkle.
He looked absolutely gorgeous. Of course he did.
He was wearing a cap, for the first time that she’d seen, which made him look more chiselled than usual, his blond hair slightly less unruly but still straying a bit at the sides. His blue-grey eyes looked super blue against his white Lacoste polo shirt, and as she squeezed into the booth she remembered just how, um, well-built he was. She could feel his huge arm pressed against her puny one and her heart started to pound furiously as if it intended to betray her. She was tempted to shush it, but she knew that would only make it beat faster.
‘Penguin Man,’ she said with a grin, staring down at her coffee and trying to remember that he had let her down a few times. That he had definitely cooled off for some reason. That she needed to play it cool at least until she knew what was going on. The barista had swirled an arty little clover leaf into the crema, which had now sloshed to one side of course and she tried to make her brain focus on the resulting messy swirl and hoped the side of her face wasn’t blushing.
‘Crazy Cat Lady,’ said James, giving her a little nudge.
‘How have you been?’
‘Fine, fine, how are you?’
She could feel him looking at her, but his face was so close she found it impossible to raise her eyes to his. She stared straight ahead instead and then realised she could see both their reflections quite clearly in the window in front of them, partly thanks to the mist and fog that was hanging over the whole town. James’ reflection was staring at hers quite intently.
‘I’m okay,’ she said slowly. ‘I’m okay.’
‘Well, you sound okay.’
‘I am okay.’
‘That’s good then.’
They both giggled, and Felicity finally turned and looked him in the eye.
‘Where have you been?’
‘I might ask you the same question.’
‘I asked you first.’
James looked pained. He stared down at his half-drunk cappuccino and for a second, she regretted asking him, afraid of what he might say.
‘I’ve had some stuff to work out,’ he said eventually.
‘That’s not an answer,’ said Felicity. ‘What kind of stuff?’ He’s secretly married. He’s secretly married to a man. He’s fallen in love with Sophie. He’s fallen in love with Andrea. He’s moving to Bermuda. On and on and on went her brain.
There was a long pause. His eyes dropped to her lips and despite all her doubts, a delicious tingling sensation ran down the back of her neck. Just as she was sure he was going to lean in to kiss her, he turned and looked down at his mug again.
‘Something I said?’ she said before she could stop herself.
‘Ha. More like something you did,’ came the reply.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ she retorted sharply.
‘Well, you’re messing with a man’s resolve. Coming in here, looking like that, when I was all determined that I was going to keep it together.’ He was speaking in that low, suggestive voice of his and Felicity felt like her entire body was blushing.
After a beat, she replied in a bolder tone than she really felt. ‘And why would you need to keep it together, exactly?’
James gave a long sigh. ‘Because I promised I would.’