Chapter 45
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
The phone rang. Or at least, started drumming. Vigorously. The A-Team ringtone was usually a winner, but not when you’ve fallen asleep on the sofa, thought Felicity dully, as her sleep-addled brain scrambled to answer it before the ‘duhhhhh duh duhs’ kicked in.
‘Hello?’
‘Hello, yourself,’ came that lovely deep voice.
‘It’s you.’
‘It’s me.’
‘I thought you hated me.’
‘What? Why would I hate you? Don’t be daft.’
Felicity let out a long exhale of relief.
‘I was a bit cross with you, though,’ he continued.
‘I’m sorry. You weren’t meant to hear that. I mean, er, I’m sorry you had to hear it. It wasn’t my finest hour.’
‘You really upset her.’
‘Who?’
‘Who do you think?’
‘Well, she upset me too.’
‘I’m sure she did. She can be… spiky. I’m sorry about that. I had no idea she was just going to turn up out of the blue like that.’
‘No kidding. Is that who you were just on the phone to?’ The words were out before she could filter them.
‘Have you been stalking me again, Miss Brooks?’
‘Yikes. No, I just tried to call you a couple of times, and you were engaged.’
‘Yes, that is who I was on the phone to. We had some things to discuss.’
‘Some things?’
James sighed. ‘Yes, some things.’
Felicity waited.
Another sigh. ‘Erika’s dad passed away. She asked if I would go to the funeral. Her dad and I were always close, even after… everything. He was a wonderful man.’
‘I’m sorry,’ said Felicity, meaning it. Bugger. Now she felt terrible. She felt particularly bad about her conversation with Andrea. Not as bad as Andrea probably would, mind. But still pretty bad.
No wonder Erika was so on edge.
‘Thanks. Yeah, it’s a shock, he wasn’t that old. So, we had to sort out the logistics. Looks like I’ll be away for a few days at least.’
‘You’ll be away?’
‘Yes, I knew him really well. I’ll need to be there anyway, so I said I’d help with the arrangements. He did loads for me, back in the day. I owe him that much.’
‘And you’ll be away for a few days? For a funeral? I mean, sorry that wasn’t very sympathetic, was it?’
‘It’s okay. Yes, it’ll be a few days at least. Well, maybe a couple of weeks. The funeral is in Japan.’
‘Oh.’
A couple of weeks?
She waited. No invitation was forthcoming.
What just happened?
He got on a plane a couple of days later and Felicity was left literally and metaphorically holding the baby (kitten).
It was an agonising wait.
First, she spring-cleaned her flat.
It wasn’t very big, so it didn’t take long. It was messy but not dirty. Usually. But as she cleaned out her kitchen cupboards for the first time since she moved in and collected up junk for the charity shop, she could hear Erika’s sneer about her lack of taste reverberating around her head. It was true, her décor wasn’t a patch on the fancy house in Chancery Gardens, but she liked it. It was homely. Cosy. Lots of cushions. Cushions made Felicity happy. She got a few more out of the linen cupboard just to make a point.
Then she met up with Sophie for coffee, something she tried to do as rarely as possible, but she still felt guilty about the whole ‘friend who covered her job for a whole week while she swanned off to Guernsey’ thing.
And it wasn’t as if she didn’t like Sophie per se. She was perfectly nice and great company. And, as she proved time and time again, really caring and kind and supportive. It was just that her life always made Felicity feel so inadequate. Not to mention jealous. When you’d had the kind of upbringing Felicity had had, it was extremely difficult to really feel empathy for someone who still had both her parents, plus a loving husband, two gorgeous children, an electronically opening triple garage and a car port.
And to top it all off, Sophie was so ‘together’, somehow, so ‘managed’, that it always made Felicity feel like an emotional pile of old knitting. So much so that she usually preferred it when the three of them were together – for balance. She thought of Bex now, the three of them together at Christmas, giggling, teasing each other, and something twanged in her chest at the thought it may never be that way again. And then, right in the middle of their conversation, the seemingly always together Sophie suddenly wasn’t together at all. Felicity was shocked to see tears in her eyes. She edged closer to her in the familiar coffee shop booth and tried to look supportive.
‘The thing is, Felicity darling, I’ve been feeling kind of, well, actually, I’ve been feeling really lonely lately. I wasn’t going to say anything but I thought you might understand. A little bit. I mean, oh God, I hope that doesn’t sound bad. You know what I mean.’
Felicity put a hand on hers. ‘I do. Understand, I mean. And I had no idea, Soph. I’m so sorry. I feel awful.’
‘Don’t be sorry. You guys have had a lot going on.’
‘That makes me feel even worse.’
‘Honestly, it’s fine. I just want to get back to how things were with us, you know? Before.
“I’m not sure they ever will now. How can she be marrying Adam of all people?’
Suddenly it was Felicity’s turn to have tears in her eyes.
Sophie put her head on one side. ‘Are you okay with this? Really?’
‘Yes. I’m okay with it. I mean, I think I am. They can do what they like, honestly. But I did think she might have felt a bit bad about sleeping with my ex.’
‘You know what Bex is like. She’s a narcissist. Always has been. I’m not sure she knows how to be a friend in the normal sense… but I know she loves you a lot.’
‘I know she does. In her way.’
‘But it still hurts, right?’
‘Right.’
They paused while they both drank their coffee and tried to get their respective heads around Bex spending her life with Adam.
‘They’ll have beautiful babies,’ said Sophie, suddenly, and Felicity burst out laughing.
‘Oh God, you’re right. All glossy hair and amazing skin. How irritating.’
‘It is rather.’
Felicity took the last gulp of her drink and felt anxiety wash over her. ‘Do you think he’s sleeping with her?’
‘Who? Adam? I should think so, darling, you know what he’s like.’
‘No. I mean…’
‘Oh. James.’
‘Yes.’
‘Sleeping with his ex?’
‘Yes.’
‘No.’
‘Really?’
‘Definitely not. The man is absolutely and entirely in love with you.’
Felicity felt her cheeks grow hot. ‘It’s not been long, let’s not get carried away.’
‘I’m telling you. He’s a smitten kitten, pardon the pun.’
‘I don’t know if I can. That was dreadful.’
‘Ha. God it really was, wasn’t it? I can only apologise.’
‘But you should have seen her though. She’s like a statue. Honestly. Like someone’s carved her from a block of marble.’
‘And just as cold, by all accounts.’
‘Well, yes, that too. To be honest I think this whole Erika thing might be the last straw. Sometimes the universe just isn’t on your side, is it? Star crossed lovers and all that? They’ve got history. All that time on the plane to realise how perfect they are for each other.’
‘You don’t really think he’d do that?’
‘I hope not. They seemed awfully close. I mean, they’ve definitely been in touch since they broke up. This is not out of the blue or anything. I’m sure of it.’
Sophie turned awkwardly in the booth to face her friend. ‘You’ve been in touch with Adam.’
‘That’s different.’
‘Is it?’ Sophie patted her hand. ‘The thing with love is–’
‘Here we go. Is this where you tell me to stop being such a cynical old witch?’ Felicity grinned.
‘No, I’m serious. This is where I tell you that you can’t love someone without trusting them. The two go together, I’m afraid. Like salt and pepper.’
‘Or Soph and Marcus.’
‘Hmm, not the best example I can think of but okay. Yes. Like us.’
‘I know you’re right. But it’s so scary.’
‘That, my darling, is the point.’