Chapter 46
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
And then, at last, it was time for James to come home.
She had received a somewhat curt text, outlining his plans for his journey home, one solitary ‘X’ at the end. But he had asked to see her so that was potentially encouraging. Or terrifying.
On the upside, he had offered to bring a takeaway.
On the downside, he hadn’t asked her what she wanted.
So, when he arrived at 7pm sharp with her very favourite pizza and beer combo, Felicity let her shoulders drop an inch or two. She was so relieved to see his face that she had to swallow down the tears that sprang to her eyes.
‘Hello. Or should I say, Konnichi wa ? I looked that up earlier. Are you impressed?’
James looked tired, his blond hair even more mussed up than usual. He gave a wry smile and trundled into the hallway holding the pizza boxes aloft like he was a silver service waiter. He lowered them onto the side with a flourish and turned towards her.
‘You know more Japanese than me, and I’ve been to the flipping country.’
Tentatively, she moved into his arms and his lips brushed her hair. And breathe.
‘How was it?’ she murmured into his chest. His lovely, comforting Disney chest.
‘It was rough. Let’s eat, then I’ll tell you all about it.’
And so they did, huddled together on the sofa watching Britain’s Got Talent , munching on stringy cheese and soft Italian dough in virtual silence except for the occasional snigger at the dreadful auditions. But, thought Felicity, as they watched an elderly gentleman balancing five plates on his nose while playing the harmonica, it felt like a good silence. An I’m-tired-and-I’m-appreciating-my-pizza silence. Not an I’m-about-to-break-up-with-you silence. Not an I’ve-just-had-two-weeks-of-amazing-sex-with-my-beautiful-Japanese-ex-girlfriend silence.
Not that.
Please God, not that.
When they were finally full, and each of them had polished off a bottle of beer to boot, James started to speak.
He told her about the funeral – ‘tough, there were lots of tears, but it was nicely done’ – he told her about the beauty of the landscape of Japan, or what he had seen, at least – ‘I’d love to see it in cherry blossom season’ – and he told her about the incredible sight that was Mount Fuji – ‘like it’s been painted on the sky’.
They sat side by side for a few moments, and then Felicity cracked.
‘And how was Erika?’ She tried to keep her voice light. ‘I mean, I assume she was there…’ Please God say she wasn’t there.
‘Ah. Yes, of course she was there,’ said James, running a hand through his hair.
‘And?’
‘And what?’
‘Well… I mean, she’s lost her dad, so I guess I’m asking, how was she?’
‘That’s not what you meant.’
‘No. You’re right. It’s not. But then I felt like an absolute cow because she must be really going through it–’
‘She wants us to get back together.’ James was staring at the floor.
Andrea was right.
Felicity bit her lip to stop herself saying ‘I bloody knew it’ as she realised that being right wasn’t the most important thing right now. It was also to stop herself from crying although that felt horribly inevitable suddenly.
‘And what do you want?’
‘I don’t know,’ said James, and there was a moment or two of silence as the world spun off its axis.