Chapter 48
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
‘Please say something,’ said Felicity, eventually, into James’ lovely comforting chest. ‘Unless you’re going to say you think I’m an overly dramatic wreck. In which case, please don’t say anything.’
James pulled her back and held her by her shoulders. He looked deeply and intently into her (very swollen) eyes.
‘I think you are an incredible person, Felicity Brooks.’
Felicity made a motion to dismiss him, to pull away, and he immediately dropped his hands. She covered them with her own.
‘Sorry, sorry. I’m not good in these situations. Go on.’ She tried to look him in the eye, but it was so intense it was almost overwhelming. Normally she would crack a joke, try to break the tension but she knew she had to attempt to stay in the moment. Just once.
Right here, right now, this is happening.
She focused on their hands, hers on his, hanging on for dear life.
James spoke quietly. ‘Don’t you ever apologise. You have nothing to be sorry for. And you’re right, that was a bit full-on, but I’m glad you told me. It’s my turn to say some things now, okay? I’ll go gently. You don’t have to look at me if you don’t want to.’
She nodded and clasped his hands more tightly.
‘Firstly, I’m so proud of you for getting therapy. That’s so brave. Just amazing.’
Felicity’s eyes filled with tears. Again.
‘And I know I will have to prove this to you, I don’t expect you to just believe me or anything. But you can trust me. I promise you can trust me. I have such a strong sense of obligation to anyone in authority that I have never so much as cheated on an exam. Or nicked a chocolate bar. Honest. Never. Not in my whole life. I just… can’t.
‘The thing is, I have never met anyone like you before, Felicity. You are an incredible person, you are brave, and strong, and funny,’ he said, very slowly and very carefully. ‘The things you’ve been through, I just can’t imagine how hard that must have been, and for you to come out the way you have, so kind and loving and wonderful, it’s a miracle quite frankly.’
A single tear rolled down Felicity’s cheek and James wiped it away with his thumb.
‘Now listen… I do have a problem, though.’
Felicity thought she might throw up all over him. ‘What kind of problem?’ Her voice sounded pathetically thin and reedy.
‘My problem is that I’m afraid you are completely and utterly stuck with me because there is no way in hell that I’m ever letting you go. Do you understand me? So, you are just going to have to not-trust me in your own special way until you do trust me. I don’t care how long it takes. Okay?’
Felicity nodded, her heart thumping in triple time like it might leap right out of her rib cage.
‘I’m not done yet.’
Oh God.
‘I’m not done yet because, Felicity Brooks, I need to tell you that I love you.’
Felicity gave a huge shuddering sob.
‘I’m going to kiss you now,’ said James, and she nodded through the tears.
He flashed her an enormous smile as he bent to kiss her, and his blue eyes crinkled right into her heart.
I’m home at last.
The next day Felicity floated to work.
She floated through the door into the corridor, and she floated into the office to put down her bag. She floated to the coffee machine and made herself a latte without spilling a drop, then she floated across the room to change her shoes. Effortlessly, of course.
Andrea watched these proceedings with amusement. ‘Morning, Felicity.’
‘Oh, good morning, Andrea,’ said the new and improved Felicity, who was loved – really loved – by an amazing man and had spent the entire night being naked with him and his broad Disney chest and his handsome face and his blue, blue eyes and his kisses like lightning.
‘Your face will get stuck like that, if you’re not careful,’ said Andrea, and went back to pretending to work on her computer.
Felicity ignored her. She floated through to the cat nursery to check on the cats who all mewled with excitement at her arrival and scrambled up their various cages to try to get to her first. She felt like a Disney princess. All elegance and grace with hundreds of small animals falling at her feet. The feeling even lasted while she cleaned out their litter trays. Which was a first.
After break she floated back to the nursery to play with the cats and do some training (cuddling). This time Andrea followed her and told her that someone was coming after lunch to see if they’d like to rehome Holly and Gennie.
‘Wait, what?’ Felicity felt her feet hit solid earth for the first time that morning.
‘You heard me. There’s this lovely family who live down the street who’d like to take on a couple of cats. They were really excited when I told them about those two,’ she explained, nodding towards Holly who was snuggled in Felicity’s hands, and Gennie who was perched on her shoulders.
Felicity smiled fixedly but didn’t reply.
‘You are okay with this, right?’
She felt strangely emotional. She put Holly back in her cage and wrestled Gennie down from the back of her neck, quite against her will.
‘Yeah, I’m fine, of course. It’s great news.’
‘I know this always feels the toughest part,’ said Andrea, putting her head on one side as she watched the three of them. ‘But it’s the happy ending bit. That’s what we want, right?’
‘I know. It’s just, with these two, I felt… a connection.’
‘But you can’t take every cat home, you know.’
‘I’ve been very restrained so far! Not a single cat or dog taken home yet. Personally, I think there should be some kind of award for that. “And tonight, the award for Best Will Power goes to…”’
Andrea laughed. ‘Well, if you’re serious then you know the answer to that, now don’t you?’
‘Sounds like it’s too late.’
‘Not necessarily… there are other possibilities…’
‘You mean Itchy and Scratchy?’
Andrea made a face. ‘We’ll have to change those names but, yes, them. They will be turned around pretty soon, won’t they? They’re both healthy and strong. I suppose I could ask if they would wait for them instead. You know, if you want? You did save these two, after all. Not that I’m trying to encourage you, you understand.’ Andrea put her hands on her hips and gave her a hard stare.
Felicity chewed her lip.
She walked along the corridor and back.
She chewed her lip a bit more.
She made a phone call.