Chapter 11 #2
Smiling, Julia replied, “I suggest you talk to Ben first and get a plan for how the two of you want to handle this before you spring it on your folks. Your dad will try to take over. If you want any say in the matter, you need to get your butt to Malibu.”
Ella thought for a moment and realized Julia was right. “Yep, I do.” Reaching up and giving Julia a hug, Ella said, “Thank you so much. What would I do without you?”
Laughing, her cousin replied, “I don’t know. I am pretty wonderful.”
Over the next hour, Ella texted Ben that she needed to talk to him about something very important and was coming to Malibu to do it in person.
Ben did not respond to Ella’s text for several hours because he was in the library studying. When he did respond, he offered to fly her to Los Angeles, but it was too late. She was already on a bus to him.
Ella felt a little foolish not waiting to talk to him before leaving. She had no idea where he lived or what his address was. After she responded with the time she would be arriving at the bus station, Ben texted back that he would skip his last class that morning and meet her there.
Luckily her nausea had abated, and Ella was able to sleep during most of the trip.
Her luck ran out the minute she stepped off the bus and raced to Ben.
Just before he wrapped her in his arms for a kiss, she pulled back and vomited all over the bus parking lot.
Seeing the mess she had made, Ella burst into tears.
That was not a great beginning for the conversation she had been planning in her head since she had left Napa.
Ben pulled Ella into the bus station and got her a cold drink while he alerted someone that the parking lot needed some attention.
Then he spent some time in the men’s room cleaning up his shoes, which had taken the brunt of the vomit.
Once Ben got all the gunk off his shoes, he ushered Ella to his car.
The whole drive to his apartment, Ella said nothing.
She just cried silently. When she did speak, it was in a weak voice.
“I am so sorry. That was so embarrassing. And ruining your shoes. It just happens. I never seem to know when it is coming.”
Giving Ella a worried look, Ben asked, “Baby, it is fine. My shoes aren’t ruined. I was able to get it all off. I just hate that you have been so sick. Why didn’t you call me sooner? How did you get your parents to let you come, especially given how sick you are?”
Ella did not answer him. Instead, she just reached for the door and cried, “Please stop the car. I am going to be sick again.”
Ben had barely pulled off to the side of the road before Ella flung open the door and emptied the contents of her stomach a second time.
Ben was suddenly very worried. “Are you saying you have been vomiting like that for a while? How long have you been this sick? Have you seen a doctor? Should I take you to the hospital?”
Ben handed Ella some napkins from his glovebox.
She used those to clean herself up as best as she could.
Taking a few sips of the drink Ben had gotten her earlier, she washed out her mouth.
Getting back into the car, she shook her head and said, “Can we wait until we get to your place to talk about this?”
“Of course,” replied Ben. “Try to lie back and relax. We’re almost there.”
They arrived at his apartment in less than ten minutes.
Once they were inside his spacious place, Ella took her bag and went straight to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face.
A few minutes later, she emerged, feeling slightly better physically but worse emotionally.
She prayed coming here was the right thing to do.
Walking over to Ben’s large sectional couch, she collapsed in tears.
Rushing to her side, Ben swooped up Ella in his arms and said, “Okay, tell me what is wrong and how to help you.”
Ella continued to sob. Lightly pulling her face up so he could make eye contact, Ben demanded, “Ella, you are scaring me. What is wrong with you?”
Looking at him with red-rimmed eyes, she opened her mouth to speak, but no words would come out.
“Just tell me,” pleaded Ben. “You are everything to me. I hate seeing you so sick. Have you seen a doctor?”
“Yes,” Ella croaked. “I saw a doctor.” Somehow saying the words aloud was harder than she expected.
Finally, she managed to whisper, “I am pregnant, Ben. I am going to have a baby.” As soon as she said the words, she felt the now-familiar rise of fluid from the back of her throat.
Jumping up, she ran back to the bathroom.
For a moment, Ben sat in shock. It took him a second to figure out what was happening.
Once Ella’s words sank in, he followed her to the bathroom.
Seeing her being so sick and knowing he caused it broke his heart.
Kneeling down next to Ella, he gently took hold of her hair, which had been spilling all over the toilet, and held it out of her face while she emptied the contents of her stomach.
When Ella finished being sick, she asked Ben for some privacy to clean herself up.
A short time later, Ella rejoined Ben in the living room. Feeling weak, she laid down on the couch. Ben handed her a cold drink.
“Thank you,” Ella said quietly, taking a few sips.
Wringing his hands, Ben shifted his weight from one foot to the other and searched for the right thing to say. He had a million questions, but he did not want to upset Ella. She had evidently been through enough.
Sensing his hesitancy, Ella said, “Go ahead. Ask me whatever you are dying to ask.”
“It’s just, are you sure?” he asked.
Ella gave him a look that told him what she thought of that question.
“Of course, I am sure. I told you. I went to the doctor to get an IUD. Before they can do that, they give you a pregnancy test to make sure you aren’t pregnant.
When my first test came back positive, the doctor did a second test. I am most definitely pregnant. ”
“But how? You had a period. I distinctly remember you telling me you got your period.” Ben did not know much about periods and babies, but he knew enough to know that if you had a period, that meant you weren’t pregnant.
Shrugging her shoulders, Ella replied, “Well, I am no expert on this, but according to the doctor, it was probably implantation bleeding. According to her, I am due around the middle of June.”
Falling back into the matching side chair across from the sofa, Ben stared off into space as he said, “A baby. A real baby. We are going to have a real baby. How did this happen?” As soon as the words left his mouth, Ben wanted to pull them back in.
He knew exactly how this happened. That darned time in the shower.
He knew that she knew it too. Dropping his head in his hands, he said, “Ella, I am so sorry. This is all my fault, isn’t it? ”
Ella, who was lying on the couch with her arm thrown over her eyes, did not respond at first. When she did, she quietly said, “I asked the doctor about that. Like when was it most likely that I got pregnant. She said that while unprotected sex is most likely the culprit here, it is also just as likely that it happened any one of the other times we did it with a condom, so don’t beat yourself up too badly.
We made this baby together.” Ella was not sure she actually felt as forgiving as she sounded, but what she told him was the truth.
They had no way of knowing when it happened.
Just that it had. So whether she liked it or not, the time for blame was over.
She just might have to remind herself of that a lot in the coming days.
Ben gave Ella a grateful smile. “That’s really kind of you to say, but I will always feel like this was my fault. I should have protected you better.”
“Well, what is done is done. The question now is what are we going to do about it?” Ella’s voice was flat and lacked the warmth Ben had come to associate with it.
“Do?” asked Ben. They would do what one does when one gets pregnant with a baby.
He had just assumed they would have it and raise it together.
After all, Ella was technically a college graduate, and he would finish his master’s degree in May.
It wasn’t as if they were high school kids with no education and no money.
His first father, Tommy, and later his biological father, Bennett, had made sure that Ben was set financially where he could take care of his responsibilities.
He wasn’t rich like his parents, but he could support them.
Looking at Ella, it suddenly occurred to Ben that she might not want to have the baby.
He had not even considered that. From what she had shared with him, he had assumed her religious beliefs would keep her from even considering terminating the pregnancy.
But what if that was not the case? Maybe he was wrong.
That thought left him reeling. He believed in a woman’s right to choose, but at the moment, he wondered if the father had a right to choose as well.
Swallowing hard, Ben asked, “So…” he hemmed and hawed, “What are you thinking? Are you planning on having the baby? Or something else?” He did not say what that something else might be.
He could not bring himself to say the word abortion out loud.
Until that moment, he had never thought of the whole abortion thing as anything other than a legal right.
Suddenly, when it was his child being considered, it became so much more.
Ella sat up so quickly, she almost fell off the couch. “What do you mean ‘or something’? Are you saying that you want me to get rid of it?” If that was what he wanted, she would get up right now, walk out of this apartment, and never look back.
“No!” Ben said quickly. “That is not what I am saying.” Running his hands through his hair, he added, “I am just trying to figure out where your head is. What are you thinking?”