Chapter 7 I Might Have To Say Fuck The Rules #2
When she turns around and looks at the bed and then at me with concern, I need to remind my heart, the one that skipped a beat at the assumption that she wants me asleep near her, to repeat the mantra over and over again.
But when the concern doesn’t leave her eyes, even when time passes, I need to remind my brain I put us in this situation. It’s my job to make her feel at ease at the expense of not telling her how I feel…because to her, this is just pretend.
“Hey, it’s okay. We’re both adults, right?” I chuckle, trying to ease the tension, and she shrugs.
“I snore really loudly,” she says, so nonchalantly, it makes me smile.
“Mmmm, you forget who told you that.”
A few years ago, we went on a road trip for a weekend after Daisy had been working her ass off for months planning a retirement party for the manager of the Philadelphia Eagles.
She was exhausted, so she fell asleep the minute I picked her up.
There were no questions about how tired she was and how much she needed the time to just lay down and sleep.
She had the softest, cutest snore at the beginning, but as she grew more comfortable and fell into a deeper sleep, it became louder.
I was even concerned in moments, thinking she wasn’t breathing.
She, of course, was fine and just needed rest. When she woke, I called her snoring beauty, and she was appalled, as if she didn’t know.
Well, I guess she actually didn’t know—it was the first time she’d ever been told. She was mortified.
“It’s endearing,” I say with a smile.
“What if my breath stinks in the morning and I spook you with it?” she asks, bending to remove her sandals. I quickly squat right in front of her, pushing her hands away.
“You could never. Also, my breath might spook you.” She’s eyeing me skeptically as my fingers graze her ankles, so I add, “Let me.”
I remove the strap wrapped around her leg and slide one sandal off, then the other, taking my time without lingering for too long—as much I want to, I don’t. I take the pair to the closet, breathing normal and not taking in the completely discombobulated air that’s always around Daisy.
“We’ll put a pillow barrier for good measure.” I change quickly to sweat pants and a t-shirt—not my usual sleeping attire, since I sleep naked. I’ve never been more glad I packed lounge clothes so I didn’t have to have the conversation with Daisy about why I didn’t have sleepwear.
“Yeah, yeah. That’s fine.” She grabs some clothes from her bag and walks to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
I let a breath out, grab my phone, and lie on the left side of the bed as I wait for Daisy to return.
I have maybe five minutes to calm my body and heart and get used to the thought of sharing this bed with her.
My words may have been steady, but my body is anything but.
I’m charged with energy at the thought of having her so close to me but also filled with dread that I really can’t do anything else about it.
The door opens, and with it, my heart jumps.
Damn, so much for staying calm. I knew I was doomed from the start, but seeing Daisy in the tiny pajamas she’s wearing was not in the cards.
At least not in mine. She carries her other clothes to her bag as the micro baseball bat-print shorts hug her legs and her ass in a way that should be illegal.
Her arms are free now, revealing a red crop top with baseballs all over it and full breasts with peaked nipples underneath.
Damn, what I wouldn’t give to lower her top and suck one of them into my mouth.
I bet they would fit perfectly in my hands.
Daisy clears her throat, and I snap my eyes to her. “Sorry…I…ummm, the print is very detailed,” I mumble. Smooth, Mateo, smooth.
“Oh, this? The team gifted it to me for Christmas last year. A little too small now, but they’re my comfort pjs. Can’t get rid of them,” she adds, dropping her phone on the nightstand and resting on the bed beside me.
“Not too small. They look great.” My attempt in keeping my voice steady fails, and she raises an eyebrow at me.
“Are you okay? You’re acting weird. Is this weird? You said it was fine. I—”
“It is fine, I promise,” I interrupt. “I’m just tired.”
“Okay, then. As long as you’re fine, I’m fine.” So many fines when I’m anything but fine. My dick is certainly not fine, and neither is my heart.
Mateo, you dumb fuck. You didn’t even think to ask if she’s comfortable with you here. What a shitty ass friend you are.
“Daze, are you uncomfortable sharing this bed with me?” The panicked look in her eyes makes me think she might be, and I hate myself for it. “I wouldn’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with. I hope you know that. If this—”
“Oh my God, stop. Yes, yes, I know that. I’m just all in my head about this. You’re fine!” She reaches over and turns the lamp off, leaving us in the dark with half her body over my chest.
“Oh! Sorry,” she laughs, quickly going to the other side of the bed.
The ruffling and pulling at the blanket makes it obvious she’s trying to settle herself unsuccessfully.
The pressure and sound of her slamming the pillow next to us startles me, and I chuckle.
She giggles a little and whispers another sorry.
“Good night!” Her shout echoes through the room, and the bed is finally still.
Her breathing is still labored, but with every ticking second, it eases more and more. I close my eyes and breathe, mirroring her and settling myself.
“Good night, Daisy,” I finally whisper, painfully aware of how good she smells, how even her breathing is now, and how warm I feel having her by my side, even if she’s not really mine, even if I’m not touching her.
Here, on the left side of Daisy’s bed, is where I belong.
I know it, and I might have to let her know too. I might have to say fuck the rules.