Chapter 10
Ten
Colin
18 Years Old
Scarlett was fiddling her hands when Colin returned, much in the same way he did when his palms started to get clammy in social situations. All his fingers would feel like they had suddenly developed a low-level arthritic ache and felt too real, too present. Now, he could barely feel his fingers at all as the excitement took over his body. His feet tipped forward and rocked back to allow his torso to sway like a branch in the breeze. That usually helped ground him when his emotions were out of his control.
“Hi,” Colin said, letting the condoms unfurl from his hand in a flashy accordion down to the floor, still rocking from ball to heel. He had just enough sense to realize that “hi” was probably the dumbest thing he could have possibly said pre-coitus. “I got the condoms.” Again, she could clearly see that, so he didn’t know why he was spouting useless information. He quickly folded the condoms back into his palm in a rapid retraction of his contraception reveal.
“One hundred of them?” Scarlett’s eyebrows shot up.
“There’s twenty,” Colin clarified. “Does it bother you that I’m overly prepared for this? Technically, I wasn’t prepared at all, I just figured if I was going to steal from my brother’s stash, I’d take the whole thing.”
Scarlett’s mouth quirked up. “Isn’t your brother like fourteen? And he’s already more experienced than both of us combined?”
“He’s not as experienced as he makes himself out to be. But girls do tend to like Carter. They typically stay away from me because I’m awkward… like right now.”
She tipped her head to the side, her full lips parting into a half smile. “I kinda like that you’re awkward. It makes me feel less weird that I’m also being awkward. And you tend to say whatever’s in your head, so I know exactly what you’re thinking. It’s nice.”
“I’d like to know what you’re thinking, actually.” He tapped his fingers against the foil wrappers in a repetitive tic. It was decidedly uncool that he couldn’t keep his shit together for two seconds, but at least she didn’t find his lack of bodily autonomy off-putting
“I’m thinking…” Scarlett trailed off before restarting with a spew of words. “I’m thinking that I’m really fucking nervous, and it was a little easier to get lost in it when we were in the middle of it and now that we had to stop in order for you to get the condoms, I don’t know how to pick up where we left off.” She heaved in a breath of air, and his eyes automatically dropped to her chest to watch the air expand her shirt. “What are you thinking?”
Colin let his eyes roam over the rest of her body. “I’m thinking that I really want to see you naked.”
“Oh.” Scarlett’s voice came out breathlessly, and he briefly looked up to her face to see a splash of red coloring her cheeks and nose. She stood up slowly from the bed, biting her bottom lip. “Maybe we could do, like, one article of clothing at a time so the scales are even and one of us isn’t more uncomfortable than the other?”
“Whatever you want.” The eagerness of his body was overshadowing any of his nerves about the actual act. Since he couldn’t stop rocking, Scarlett probably thought he was just as nervous, when really all he wanted to do was drag her back to the bed to continue exactly where they had left off. Preferably without clothes.
“Okay.” She sighed. “You first?”
Colin nodded and walked over to his nightstand to deposit the condoms before carefully pulling his shirt over his head and glasses, folding it meticulously and setting it on the end of his dresser. There was a small wrinkle in the fabric when he set it down, so he swiped his hand over the raised ridge to flatten it. “Now you?” he asked, going back to standing in the middle of the room across from her.
The distance felt more uncomfortable than anything. Scarlett already knew Colin liked pressure, so he started inwardly wondering how strange it would be if he held on to her while she was taking her clothes off. Probably very strange , he decided. Then again, he could see her body better this way as she slowly took off her sweater. It was all he could do not let out a small groan when he saw the plain red bra she was wearing. He liked how no-frills everything was. In all the porn and in most of the ads with hot underwear models he had seen, the women all seemed to be wearing lace. All he could ever think was that it must feel scratchy and irritating.
“I like your bra,” he said aloud.
Scarlett slowly let her arms fall away from her chest. “I didn’t do it on purpose, but my underwear are the same color, and it’s very rare that I match, so you caught me on a good day.”
“Can I see?”
A slow grin spread across her face. “It’s your turn to take off an article of clothing. What kind of underwear are you wearing?”
Colin’s hands reached for his belt, and he ripped at the buckle, eager to get to her turn again. “They’re blue. And Fruit of the Loom, if it’s important for you to know the brand.”
Scarlett let out a small laugh that fell off when Colin dropped his pants and stepped out of the legs, ripping his socks off in the process. Again he carefully folded his clothes and set them out of the way. He looked down at the floor and saw Scarlett’s sweater laying haphazardly on the ground. His thoughts homed in on all the reasons why leaving it there would cause Scarlett grief later. It would get wrinkled, and then she would have to deal with it the rest of the day, and then she would forever associate him with wrinkled shirts, and…
Scarlett picked the sweater up off the floor and handed it to him. “I can fold it myself, but you look like you maybe want to so it’s done right?”
Colin’s shoulders sagged in relief. His hand reached out to close around the fabric. “Thank you. I like routine and order. I didn’t mean to?—”
“You don’t have to explain it to me. It’s your room. I have stuff in my room that I want done a certain way, too.”
“Okay.” He was so used to having to explain every facet of his idiosyncrasies that it felt almost unnatural to not have to. “Hand me your pants?” he asked, looking down to where Scarlett’s high-waisted jeans hugged her hips and thighs before he remembered that she wasn’t wearing the shirt he had just folded and set next to his clothes, and his eyes traveled up to her breasts again. The freckles didn’t stop at her face and arms. Scarlett bit her lip again and started unbuttoning her jeans, doing a cute little shimmy to drag them down and over her round ass to reveal even more freckles on her thighs. It was excruciating how much he wanted to help her. To take her clothes off himself. Not only that, but there was so much skin to touch now, so much space between the two of them, and so many different things to look at that all the thoughts bouncing around his head were competing for his attention.
Scarlett’s underwear was red just like she said it would be, but Colin found himself woefully unprepared for how the creases where her hips folded into her legs were like little arrows deliciously pointing to the apex of her thighs, her freckles dots on a map to the places he desperately wanted to investigate. Matter of fact, every single thing about her body felt like a manual on how to turn him on. He fucking loved instruction manuals. It was almost painful how much he ached behind his underwear, his cock straining to break free. His boxer briefs felt like a restraint now, and the distance between himself and Scarlett, the force of two magnets desperate to snap together.
“Scarlett, I—” Colin took a deep, grounding breath and continued to rock. “I really want to help you take the rest off.”
“If you want to, you can.” Scarlett brushed her hands over her arms and took a shaky step forward. “Do you want me to take yours off? I think I’m a little too nervous to help you.”
“I don’t mind doing all the work.” Not only did he not mind, but he preferred it. The control of it all would help with the out-of-body experience he was having. He stepped forward and lifted his hand to her breast, cupping it like he had before. The sigh that she let out sounded almost relieved, and he thought that maybe they were both having the same issue until she reached out and grazed her fingers over his chest. He sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth and practically jumped away from the touch. He wasn’t astute at tracking emotions just from facial expressions, but he knew enough to see that Scarlett looked hurt by his reaction. Her face pinched as she looked down at the floor, her eyes glossing over with moisture. “I’m sorry. It was too gentle. If you touch me, can you be sure about it? Harder?”
Scarlett’s throat dipped on a swallow. “Right. You already told me that. I forgot already. I-I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m kind of panicking.”
“Can I help?” Colin stepped toward her again and warily reached for her hand, lacing her fingers in his. It felt better that way, to be somewhat entwined. He couldn’t quite meet her eyes, so he looked at her lips instead. “I wish I could be gentle with you, but I don’t think I can. Do you need that? For someone to be gentle?”
Warm lips met his a second later, and he breathed in through his nose, sinking into it and chasing the warmth until Scarlett backed away. “No. I don’t need you to be gentle, just slow.”
“I can do that.” Unlacing their fingers, Colin slid a firmly pressed hand into her back and dragged it up to the clasp of her bra. His other hand reached up to help, but his fingers were blind and unpracticed as they fumbled around, yanking at different pieces, trying to release it.
Great, you said you wanted to do all the work, and now you don’t know how to take a bra off , he chastised himself. In all the books he had read, none had mentioned anything about the mechanics of a bra clasp. Soon, he’d start to get overwhelmed by his lack of control, and everything would go to shit.
“Colin?” Scarlett’s voice cracked. “I can turn around if that makes it easier?”
Oh . Turning around. Yeah, that would make it easier. He had been so focused on her front and her breasts that he hadn’t even thought of that. “Please? I guess I need to research how to take a bra off.”
“Or I could just tell you.” Scarlett chuckled and flipped around. “You can probably see it now. There are three little metal clasps that each have a hook. You have to push in so the clasps— oh .” It was easy once he saw what he was working with. Her bra fell away, and he gripped it tightly in his hand, not wanting to set it with the rest of their clothes just yet. That would mean he’d have to leave her backside. His fingers reached up of their own accord to touch the red marks on her skin that her bra had left.
“Are bras comfortable?” he asked. It seemed almost cruel to mark her freckled skin like that until he imagined himself making some sort of a long-lasting proof of his touch. That was possibly wrong, but it didn’t change the fact that he wanted it.
“Some are more comfortable than others, but it’s always more comfortable without them.” She still had her back turned to him, so he stepped into her, his groin hitting her ass. Scarlett sucked in a sharp breath, and he thought it might have been too much until she leaned into the touch and stretched on her tiptoes, as if she were trying to rub against the right spot, the way she had been grinding against him on the bed.
His hands wrapped around her and dipped under the hem of her underwear. “Is this okay? Is this what you want?”
Her back arched against him. “Please, take them off.”
“It’s my turn. You’ve gone twice now.” Colin reminded her, still teasing the seam of her underwear. He had to go with the rules they set out because his comfort always fell within the guidelines, but his body kept revolting against him and chanting at him like it would be perfectly okay to take her underwear off now instead of in the proper order.
“Take yours off and then mine?” Scarlett suggested.
“Deal.” He was dying to see her completely naked, so he made quick work of yanking his boxer briefs down his legs and stepping out of them. He was a little more deliberate about Scarlett’s, following her request to go slow. She bent in half slightly when she leaned over to remove her underwear from around her ankles, and her ass knocked into his bare cock. The sound that came out of his mouth was inhuman. “Scarlett,” he pleaded. “Give me your underwear.” She did as told, and he set a hand on her shoulder. “I’m going to put this with our clothes, then you can turn around on three?”
“Okay.” Her voice was high and squeaky, her hand moving to cover herself again. As much as he loved order, he was a little more haphazard with their clothes this time. Snatching a single condom, ripping it open, and sliding it on before ditching the wrappings in the waste bin near his desk and practically jogging over to her, his cock lazily bobbing as he went, hard and at full length.
“I’m back,” Colin murmured. “Ready? One… two?—”
“Wait! Just… I, uh, didn’t shave or anything, and maybe if you want that, I should go do that?”
“What?” He furrowed his brow, confused by the sudden interruption.
“My, um, m-my hair? Like, between my legs? It’s trimmed, but it’s not, like, gone or anything,” Scarlett stuttered.
Still confused, he answered slowly. “But I don’t get it. Does the hair prevent penetration or something? I haven’t read anything where?—”
Scarlett groaned, and not a breathy one like she had been doing when they were clothed and on his bed, but more of a protest. “Never mind. Forget I said anything. I’ll just turn around now.” And she did, flipping quickly to the front so fast that her hair whipped around and smacked him in the face, the auburn strands falling into his slightly ajar mouth. He gagged and wiped frantically at his mouth to pull the hairs away. “Shit, sorry!”
“It’s oka—” He cut himself off in the split second it took to take in Scarlett fully nude and standing in front of him. Her large breasts were perky but hanging heavy on her chest. His tongue swept over his bottom lip as his gaze traveled down over her pale nipples to the flat expanse of her stomach that looked smooth to the touch, all the way down to the matching patch of auburn hair between her legs.
“Holy…” Scarlett heaved out a breath, and Colin looked up to track where she was looking, down at the hard length between his legs. The stricken look on her face made him blanch, and then double-check that his cock hadn’t grown a second head or something. It hadn’t, and he had seen plenty of them via porn and in men’s locker rooms to know that his was a normal, circumcised penis.
“You okay?” Colin asked.
“Remember that time Jeff Bezos went on his vanity space trip and the rocket was shaped like a giant dick?” Scarlett huffed out a small laugh.
“Yeah, it was shaped like that to save cabin space.”
She pointed downward. “Well, that thing looks like it’s going to blast off, and there isn’t extra cabin space. I don’t see how it’s going to fit. I-it’s too big.” She was rambling now, continuing her perusal of his apparently too-large cock. He kind of liked when she started spewing everything in her head. He had figured out that when she stuttered, she was nervous, and it was oddly endearing to watch her flounder. Even better without clothes. Her face, neck, and chest were flushed as she gestured wildly with her hands, making her breasts sway with the motion. “I didn’t know that it could be that big. Are you half whale? Whales are the ones with the giant dicks, right? You probably know because you’re into all the science stuff. M-maybe you don’t know because you’re not specifically into marine biology? I mean, that’s a lot of biology right there.” She gaped at his cock again. “I assume whales are the same size as you because you’re part whale?”
Colin’s eyebrows pulled together. “It’s not possible for me to be part whale. They do have large penises, though. Around eight feet long.”
“Fucking hell.” Scarlett gasped.
“Mine isn’t that long, obviously,” he stated. It was odd that he felt like trying to downgrade the size so she would feel better. “It’s on the high end of average. I promise.”
“You measured?” She shifted on her feet like she was preparing to take him bluntly between the legs.
“Of course I measured. It should fit fine. The human vagina can stretch up to eight inches.”
Scarlett scrunched her eyes shut. “C-Colin, I like that you know things, but can we not talk about how much vaginas can stretch?”
He winced. Carter had kept telling him that there was a time and a place for certain facts, and apparently when he and Scarlett weren’t wearing clothes was not the opportune time for anatomy facts. To him, it seemed like the exact time he should be sharing things like that, but he nodded anyway. “Facts aren’t sexy. Got it.”
“It’s not that. I mean, I think sometimes facts are sexy, it’s just that some of your facts feel clinical. I realized that I started up the measurement conversation, but I don’t want you to be my doctor. I want you to touch me like you want me, not like you want to chart my growth spurts.”
That made more sense to him. Unless they were in some sort of role play where he was playing a doctor, some things could be left unsaid. “Okay,” he agreed. “But you still like facts about the here and now? What I’m feeling? What we’re doing?”
Her voice was lower and throaty when she responded, “yes,” stepping into him. Colin’s hands wrapped around her back. “I still want to be walked through it. Just no more measurements.”
“No more measuring,” he promised and dipped his head down a bit. “And if you want me to touch you like I want you, that’s an easy request. I think you should shoot higher, because how could I not want you, Scarlett?” Her breasts pressed into him harder with a short inhale. “And I think I should kiss you now.”
A small smile hitched up the side of her mouth. “I think you should, too.”
With her body pressed up against him, warm in all the right places, he bent his mouth all the way down to hers, full force but also remembering she wanted it slow. His tongue dragged in a rough swipe along her bottom lip, and Scarlett’s tongue came out almost hesitantly, brushing over the corner of his mouth. His hand wandered around her body, overwhelmed by everything he wanted to touch. Every inch of her soft skin pressed against him was making him lose it. One of her hands was planted around his back, pressing into his spine, and the other was cupping his face, angling him where she wanted to go. He was aching to be even closer despite already touching her everywhere they could be. The next step was to be inside her.
“Bed?” Colin rasped out before his desperation to keep kissing her cut off whatever answer she was planning on saying. Scarlett didn’t respond, but her fingers moved down from his face and pressed into his arm, pushing him toward his bed.
When they stumbled over to it, she broke free and sat down on the edge before backing her way to the headboard, her eyes trained on him. He met her gaze for a brief second, counting to two Mississippi before breaking eye contact. The problem with that, however, was that he had been so focused on trying to keep her eye contact that he hadn’t moved at all with her onto the bed, and she was staring at him and waiting at the headboard, no doubt wondering what the hell he was doing. He gave a little shake of his head to refocus and climbed onto the mattress and over her, balancing on one arm.
“Now we… do this?” Scarlett asked.
“This?” Colin hesitated.
“Sorry. Now we, um, have sex?” Her voice kicked up at the end, going pitchy.
“Right. And I put the condom on, so we’re good to proceed.”
“Okay, then, maybe you should proceed.”
Colin gripped his cock and angled it toward her center. “Is that a question?”
“No, no.” Scarlett shook her head. “Sorry. Just go slow.”
His breathing was erratic as he leaned forward a bit, hitting what he assumed to be the right spot. The head of his cock was swallowed up, and his eyes fluttered shut. They both took deep, sucking breaths. It felt like every nerve ending in his body was now in his cock, pulsing with need. He could barely think or hold himself back, but Scarlett hadn’t said a word, so he opened his eyes to clock her enjoyment. Her eyes were screwed shut, her face pinched in a wince. “Are you okay?”
“Um,” her shaky voice called out. “You tell me. Is it supposed to stop hurting at some point?”
“Supposedly,” Colin bobbed his head. “It might hurt a bit before you relax a little. But I don’t know for certain, and if it hurts the whole time, then that’s irregular.”
Scarlett hadn’t opened her eyes, but she bobbed her head. “Okay. Go ahead.”
He edged forward. It was surprisingly hard to do so. From what he’d read, Scarlett’s body could naturally lubricate itself to help him slide in, but everything was so tight and felt more like when something was in the process of drying and almost sticky to the touch when you ran your hand over it. “Should I keep going?”
“I-I don’t…” Scarlett’s back arched like she was trying to give him a better angle. “Does it feel good for you, at least?”
“Yes,” he answered honestly. It still felt good, but he was fastly losing his enjoyment. She still looked like he was stabbing her, not fucking her.
“Maybe once you’re in all the way it’ll feel better.”
“Maybe,” Colin agreed. “So, keep going?”
“Sure.” Scarlett winced again as he pushed forward, and he hated it. Other than the pleasure of it, nothing felt right. She was too dry, and his brain was starting to work overtime on why nothing seemed to fit the way he had told her it would. But he had somehow forgotten everything he’d ever read in that moment that could make it better. He could feel his cock starting to lose pressure and slacken. He took one last look at Scarlett, who still had her eyes squeezed shut.
“No. I don’t like hurting you. I’m done.” Colin shook his head fervently and slowly pulled out, watching her still-pained face finally release when he was fully out.
He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t for Scarlett to shoot upright in his bed, covering her face. “Sorry.”
Everything was so disorienting that he tried to grasp onto anything to keep his emotions in check. Logic and facts were the best option. “You need to be wetter than that. I think that’s why it didn’t work and why it hurt you so much. There needs to be more lubrication.”
Scarlett’s voice was choked, but he couldn’t see her face. “I ruined it.”
“What?” Colin’s mouth opened and closed several times, trying to make heads or tails of anything until he saw a tear roll down her forearm where she was covering her face. Panic lanced up his body. “Fuck. Did I hurt you? Are you okay? Do you need to go to the doctor?”
A broken sob came from behind Scarlett’s hand, and her red hair started shaking with the movement of her head. “No, I’m not injured.”
“But you’re crying,” he pointed out, scooting toward her. Maybe she wasn’t crying. Maybe there was another explanation for the liquid coming out of her eyes. One of his hands gingerly wrapped around her wrist and pulled it away from her face to find that, no, she was definitely crying. His heart freefell in his chest as she yanked a pillow from behind her to cover her naked body. He swallowed. “I don’t know what I did wrong, but clearly I did something.”
“Y-you didn’t,” she whispered. “It’s my fault it was bad. I was supposed to be wetter, right? There’s something wrong with me?”
Colin’s eyes widened in alarm. “What? No! There’s nothing wrong with you. I just meant that it’s either arousal non-concordance where you’re not wet despite being turned on, or it’s probably more likely that you just weren’t feeling into it. It was probably all my stupid, unsexy measurements earlier. We also had to stop in the middle to get condoms, and that killed the momentum. We were both nervous. I really didn’t mean it was your fault.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Scarlett, please stop apologizing,” he pleaded with her. He didn’t like making people feel bad, but it occasionally happened when he was too blunt or tactless in the way he delivered things. “I just need to learn how to make you aroused, and I need to be better prepared with lube or something. That’s all. I don’t want to hurt you. I want it to feel good for you, too.”
Instead of responding, Scarlett covered her face again, and Colin had the sinking feeling that he would never get the chance to find out how to turn her on because he had royally screwed up. Everything in the books suggested taking things a hell of a lot slower and practicing foreplay before intercourse. He had ignored everything to jump to the main attraction, and now she would probably never want to see him again. That thought made him somewhat desperate for the connection again. His body needed safety, what they had before he ruined it all with sex. He reached out a shaky hand and pulled back his bed covers. For some reason, they had done everything on top of the comforter, and maybe that was yet another place he had gone wrong. It had to feel better cocooned in blankets than open and exposed with all the lights on. He crawled up to the headboard and slipped under his bedding as Scarlett peeked out from her hands. He reached out and tugged on the pillow she was holding with a loose grip, and she let him drag it up beside his. The pillow made a soft thudding sound when he patted it in invitation. Scarlett took the hint and crawled under the covers with him. When they were both fully covered, but not touching, he scooted closer and put his hand on the back of her head, pulling her in and tucking her under his chin.
The crying stopped a few seconds later, and Colin’s own heart rate and anxiety leveled as time dragged on, their bodies pressed together again. Scarlett’s breath ghosted against his collarbone, a warm rhythm he timed his own breathing to. Her palms moved to rest on his bare chest, and his arm curled around her.
“This feels good,” Colin whispered. Scarlett’s head tipped back to look at him.
“It does.” Her eyes flicked to his mouth once, twice, and three times before she finally met his lips, unhurried this time. Each press was languid and comforting, and she moved back to her spot under his chin, pressing herself closer to him.
“We won’t do that again until we’re ready, okay?” he said. “I think we should stick to our original plan to slowly work through the steps.”
Scarlett sighed. “I can be a bit impulsive sometimes without thinking, and I jumped a little ahead.”
“ We did,” he corrected. “This was the point, though, right? We’ll learn from this and get better at it. We’ll start with smaller things, and I’ll learn what you like.”
“Okay.” Her head nodded against him. “If you still want to try with me? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
Colin let out a deep breath of relief. “I thought you might not want to after this. I was supposed to be an expert, but none of the books really translated that well to the actual act, which is confusing. It’s also really hard to think about books when you’re naked underneath me.” A small chortle burrowed into Colin’s chest, and he clutched on to Scarlett tighter, taking the opportunity to be even closer, her warm skin pressing into his. He wanted to be bruised from her touch and marked everywhere she was pinned against him. A brand on his skin. “Are you laughing at my statement, or at my apparent lack of sexual prowess?”
Another giggle. “I don’t even know why I’m laughing. You’re just so you . I mean, you just used ‘sexual prowess’ in a sentence, and you keep openly telling me that you like my body, and I’m so used to having to pry that kind of information out of guys. It’s nice to not have to guess.”
“I don’t know why no one would tell you to your face,” he murmured against her hair. “If you like it when I tell you that, I can tell it to you more.”
He could feel the way her mouth stretched into a smile against his chest. “I’d like that.”
“Okay. I also think you need a nickname.”
Scarlett pulled her head off his chest and looked up at him. “Oh? Like we’re secret agents? But sexy secret agents.”
Colin grinned in amusement. “My uncle keeps calling his best friend ‘Ponytail,’ and Talia wears a ponytail ninety percent of the time.”
“Oh, so, you want to be my friend now?” she asked, curling into his side again.
“Well, Piper and Carter keep insisting that Walker’s actually in love with Talia, but yeah, I think we can be friends. So I’ll start calling you ‘Orange.’”
“What?” Scarlett jerked back from him. “Like Agent Orange? Like the fruit?”
“No, I’m not naming you after a pesticide or a fruit. It’s because of your hair.”
“I’m a redhead.” She pulled on a loose strand of hair for show, and he took it from her, twirling it between two fingers.
“Sure, that’s the term everyone uses, but your hair isn’t red, it’s orange. Do you not like the nickname?” Colin asked.
“Not really. Orange is, like, my least favorite color. Can’t you just call me Red?”
He considered for a moment. “I can call you Red, but it won’t be about your hair.”
“Then what would it be about? My name?” Scarlett had barely gotten the question out before she seemed to notice where his eyes had landed: on their folded stack of clothes and the not-so-neat folding job he had done on the objects of his immediate attention. “You’re going to call me Red because of my underwear?”
“And then every time I call you that, you can add another tally to the number of times I’ve thought of you naked.”