Chapter 45
Forty-Five
Scarlett
23 Years Old
The ceiling of her uncle’s house had a popcorn texture that they had slowly removed room by room as she was growing up, but Scarlett’s childhood bedroom—now the guest room—was one of the last in the house that still had it. It reminded her a bit of Theo’s paintings as she stared up at it from her old bed. She wished that they would remove it already, as if that would wipe the memories she had made in this room with Colin, but most everything in the room was the same. The furniture and the layout had remained untouched. The twinkle lights were no longer wrapping the curtain rod above the window Marty had replaced after Colin broke it, but even different curtains and bedding couldn’t cover up the memories she wished she could repaint.
“Babe?” Kashvi’s voice said from the doorway. Scarlett lifted her head to look at her best friend, face blank, even when she saw Harper and Saanvi were there, too. “Your mom called us.”
“I slept with him,” Scarlett said miserably. All three girls climbed up on her bed silently and maneuvered to lie back and look at her ceiling together. “I couldn’t help myself.”
“And how was it?” Kashvi asked, her usual excitement about sex void from her tone.
“Perfect,” Scarlett whispered, her nose starting to burn. “Hottest night of my life.”
“And he took care of you the whole time?” Harper asked.
Scarlett laughed bitterly. “He did. He wanted me to stay for breakfast, but I left before he woke up. I could just feel it, you know?”
“I don’t know,” Saanvi said. “Feel what?”
“Yeah, feel free to explain, because we have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kashvi agreed.
Scarlett sighed. “Like if I stayed for breakfast, I’d stay forever.”
Harper spoke slowly, as if assessing the damage, “And you don’t want to stay forever?”
“Forever sounds impulsive. It also sounds exactly like what I want. I can admit how naive and reckless I was back when I thought I was just going to drop everything and move to Maryland with him, but now it feels different.”
“So, you’re admitting that we were right, then?” a voice called out from the doorway, and everyone on the bed lifted up to see Nora with a slight smirk on her face and Eden beside her.
“Come on in.” Scarlett chuckled. “There’s no more bed space, so you have to sit on the floor. The topic of conversation might be too mature for Lindy’s ears if she plans on joining us, though.”
“I set her up with a movie in the living room. She will be fully engrossed in Frozen for the next hour and a half,” Eden said, taking a seat on the floor and leaning against Scarlett’s bed.
Scarlett’s mother did the same and called up, “I take it you spent the night with Colin?”
“Yep,” Scarlett exhaled. “How’d you know?”
“I told you back then and I’ll tell you now, I was not born yesterday,” Nora said. Her voice sounded like a smile, so Scarlett mimicked it, smirking at the ceiling. “Dear, you went to his apartment to teach a paint lesson, and you didn’t come back home till five in the morning.”
“I was never really good at hiding anything, was I?” Scarlett asked. A smattering of nos from the entire room made her wince. “Okay, well, Uncle Marty was clueless back then.”
“Yeah, but he’s usually clueless,” Eden said, receiving a chorus of laughter.
“I feel like the dumb one now,” Scarlett said to the ceiling.
“Why? Because you’re in love again?” Harper demanded. “You are not dumb.”
Scarlett sat up a bit to glare at her sister. “H, you’re the one who has adamantly hated Colin since he’s been back.”
“I hate what he did, but I can’t deny how he treats you now. I can’t deny how he treated you before he left,” Harper said. “I always kind of felt like I needed to protect you double the amount because you didn’t have Tucker protecting you, too, and I felt like I’d failed miserably when Colin left and you were so depressed you barely got out of bed. I was blindsided because it really seemed like he loved you, and I was mad that I didn’t see any warning signs before he broke you.”
“‘Broke’ seems a bit dramatic,” Scarlett said, knowing she was trying to rewrite history. Destitute would have been a more accurate and dramatic word to describe the slump she had slipped into.
“I walked in on you months after the breakup trying to give yourself bangs,” Kashvi recalled. “You requested dressed and depressed eggs every day. It was bad.”
“They turned out fine,” Scarlett protested, ruffling the bangs on her forehead for show. “And I like deviled eggs.”
“They turned out fine because I cut them,” Saanvi said. “Friends don’t let friends impulsively give themselves bangs without at least heavily supervising.”
“All this to say,” Harper took over again, “it took all of us to pull you back out into the land of the living, and I didn’t want Colin to hurt you again. But Eden told me something about him the other day, and I might have been a bit harsh about my dislike for him.”
“Leo chewed us both out, too. I guess he’s been hanging out with Colin a lot,” Saanvi added. “Not that I care what my brother-in-law has to say, but I do care what Piper has to say, and she seemed to think that Colin had a good enough reason.”
“What do you know?” Scarlett asked, confused.
“You know he’s autistic, yes?” Eden asked.
“Obviously,” Scarlett replied. If he hadn’t told her, she would have figured it out after all his interactions with Theo. “It’s a non-issue. We just end up doing things a little differently and communicating more.”
“I think he believes it is an issue. When he signed up for the mentorship program, I asked him out of curiosity when he was diagnosed, and he said the summer before he left for college,” Eden said.
The air whooshed from Scarlett’s lungs. “He didn’t tell me that,” she choked. “I assumed that he must have been diagnosed after he left.”
“He should have told you,” Kashvi said.
“That much is true,” Harper agreed.
“I think he must have been very confused,” Nora chimed in. “His parents died, and he was diagnosed, and at the same time, you were both so young and maybe a little too optimistic about your future together. You both knew virtually nothing about yourselves and the world back then and thought moving in together in the most tumultuous time of your lives was a fantastic idea.”
“Like you and Dad?” Scarlett asked.
“Yes and no.” Nora sighed. “I got pregnant, and yes, I was in love and moved in with him, but deep down, I saw his red flags and the writing on the wall and had to admit I ignored them until he left. The only time I listened was when I kept my maiden name after we got married and gave you girls and Tucker my last name instead of his. The fact that he didn’t care should have been another warning sign.”
“I wouldn’t have any of the same things I have now if I went with him to Maryland,” Scarlett said. “Not the art studio, not the program, not my place at the foundation. I don’t know if it’s just that I’m older now and think it was naive that I was just going to follow my boyfriend wherever he wanted to go, or if he broke up with me and I felt determined to do whatever the hell I wanted to do.”
“Why not both?” Kashvi asked.
“It can feel both like he broke your heart and like he did you a favor, Letti. That’s not wrong,” Harper added.
“You’re both more mature now. Maybe it’s time to forgive and move forward. Or maybe it’s time to get answers and decide you want to dump his ass,” Saanvi said. “The world is your oyster.”
“It always has been,” Nora said.
“I still love him.” Scarlett clutched her chest, feeling the weight of her words. “I don’t think I ever stopped. He makes me feel like I’m important. And before one of you says something about me not needing a man to make me feel special, I know that. I don’t need it, but I can want it, right?”
“Definitely,” Harper said.
“I can do everything on my own, and I’m pretty sure I’ve proved that,” Scarlett said. “I just don’t want to.”
“A little birdie told me that he’s going to Tucker’s 5K tomorrow,” Harper cooed. “He’s bringing his entire family.”
“I think Leo would be really pissed that you called him a little birdie.” Saanvi flopped onto her side, burgeoning belly on display. “I will not be there because this baby is pressing on my bladder, and I will end up peeing myself.”
“Maybe you should get off my bed.” Scarlett grimaced.
“I had to lend her underwear the other day.” Kashvi cackled.
“What are sisters for if not to steal clothing?” Harper asked and turned an accusatory tone on Scarlett. “You had two of my cardigans for the entirety of fall.”
“Where’s the dress I lent you for the gala?” Scarlett shot back.
“Girls,” Nora chastised from the floor.
Scarlett untactfully changed the subject. “All right, so, I’ll talk to Colin, and if it goes poorly, I’m going to need another telenovela night.”
“Done!” Kashvi said brightly.
The annual birthday run for her brother wasn’t exactly the best spot to talk to Colin since he would be busy, well, running, but afterward, she would lay it all out on the line. If he loved her like he said he did, then he would do the same.