Chapter 46
Forty-Six
Colin
23 Years Old
“Let’s do this.” Walker bounced on his feet beside Colin, who was casually stretching out his limbs and could care less about doing anything. The energy he planned on having today had left his body right along with the girl who had left his bed the morning before without even leaving a note.
“You’re a dork.” Talia socked Walker’s shoulder, and he grinned at her before tugging on her ponytail. The happy couple was brimming with excitement over possible adoption prospects, and Colin wanted to be thrilled for them, but he couldn’t find it in himself to drum up any excitement after his night with Scarlett had crashed and burned.
“Colin, Carter, Cooper,” Walker called out. “You all look like someone pissed in your Cheerios. Buck up.” Hearing his brothers’ names in a row with his own made it seem all the more ridiculous to Colin. It was possible that he was just pissed off that morning, but at the moment, it was another dock on his parents for giving them all stupid matching names.
“I don’t want to be here,” Cooper bemoaned with a cold glance at Colin. Colin sighed and kept stretching. Not even his brother’s ire could worsen his mood. It was already sub-zero.
“It’s too fucking early,” Carter grumbled. He was still mourning his recent breakup and seemed to be in a depressive slump no matter what time of day it was. At least Colin would have someone to commiserate with.
“You need some fresh air,” Pearl said sweetly. She balanced out the bad vibes of the family, splitting them evenly into groups of grumpy and peppy. Given that Piper, the most cheerful of their bunch, was at home with a broken arm, Colin decided that darkness would soon overtake them, and he would let it because he no longer gave a fuck.
“Leave me alone,” Carter told Pearl.
Walker set a hand on Carter’s shoulder. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but Stella sucked, and you’re better off without her.”
“That’s what I said,” Colin finally chimed in, his voice no more enthusiastic.
“You all suck,” Carter muttered. “Don’t even come at me this morning, Colin. I know why you’re in a mood, and it’s also because of a girl who sucks.”
Colin scrunched his nose and glared at his brother, making dead eye contact with him just to pull out all the stops. “Scarlett doesn’t suck.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of suck,” Talia noted.
“Care to share with the class?” Walker asked Colin. “Or am I still the only person who doesn’t get to know anything?”
“You stopped being the fun, cool uncle when you became our guardian,” Cooper declared blandly.
“Ouch.” Talia cringed. “Do I get to know?”
“Nobody gets to know,” Colin huffed, seriously second-guessing bringing his family to this event. If he hadn’t signed everyone up already and it wasn’t for charity, he would have bowed out yesterday morning like Scarlett had.
Cooper shrugged. “Colin hooked up with Scarlett, and Scarlett left before he woke up.”
“How do you know that before I do?” Pearl complained.
“Eavesdropping, obviously,” Cooper said. “Carter was talking on the phone loudly in his room yesterday, and I heard Colin talking to Leo earlier. I put two and two together.”
“Fantastic,” Colin deadpanned. Sarcasm felt like the perfect thing to bring into this conversation. Hell, he was ready to bring the house down with more negative commentary. The street at the start of the race was packed with people and getting way too loud for his liking, so he pressed on the plugs in his ears to dull the sound and readied himself to deliver another sarcastic comment about how much fun he was having when a voice interrupted.
“What’s fantastic?” He turned to find Jessie and the two emo teenagers flanking one of her sides. Then, his gaze dropped to the one person who shouldn’t be there at all.
“What the hell is Theo doing here?” Colin’s eyes widened, then he jerked his head around to see the sea of bodies crammed into the small space.
Jessie answered quickly. “I asked him if he wanted to come because I knew you would be here. He likes you, and I thought?—”
“It’s going to be crowded, Jessie. You don’t even have him wearing his headphones.” Colin massaged his temples. He knew he was being harsh, but what the fuck . The crowd was starting to grate on him , so there was no way Theo could handle something this chaotic.
“He can’t run with headphones on.” Jessie looked at the ground. “We left them at home.”
“This is a terrible idea. Theo really can’t be here.” Colin looked around again, his body tightening as someone beside him brushed his arm.
“I just thought it would be fun,” Jessie choked out.
“Is this the Theo?” Walker came to stand beside him, eyes bulging from his head like a fish. “Isn’t this too loud for him?”
“Yes. I need to get him out of here.” Colin stooped down to Theo’s height and saw how pale he looked. “Do you want to leave?” Theo bobbed his head, his shoulders curling in on himself. Colin rose back to his feet. It was too loud, and his brain was starting to get too foggy to think. He couldn’t even see a discernible exit anywhere—no parting of the people in the crowd where he could escape to the side. “Shit. Um?—”
The announcer with a loud megaphone at the head of the pack interrupted Colin’s panic. “Thank you for coming to the Wallace Memorial Foundation’s annual birthday 5K!” Nora Wallace was handed the megaphone, and he could now see Scarlett in a golf cart at the front of the line, his brain fighting for clear thought.
“Today would be my son’s twenty-sixth birthday,” Nora said into the megaphone. “His legacy continues to bring people together, and his memory lives on forever through all of you and the amazing research we’re funding. We are so grateful to all the sponsors and donations that made this event happen. Special shout out to Wilton and Sons Metal Work. All that said, let’s start the countdown, and we’ll see you at the finish line!” The shouts of the crowd as everyone counted down from ten felt like they were counting down to Colin’s imminent death. Theo was sitting on the ground covering his ears, and Jessie was trying to get him to leave, but he wouldn’t budge.
“Do we need to pick him up?” Carter asked.
“Colin?” Walker touched his arm, and Colin flinched away from him.
“I don’t know. I don’t know!” he shouted. Theo didn’t like being touched. That was what he had been told a hundred times. By Eden, by Scarlett, by Jessie, and yet Scarlett had had to pick him up to take him away from the fire in the studio, so maybe this situation was as dire as that one.
A shotgun went off to start the race, and Colin’s hands flew up to press against his earplugs. Theo started wailing.
“Make a blockade,” Cooper yelled to his family, and they all jumped into action, blocking Theo from the possibility of getting trampled by runners.
Once most of the runners had dispersed and Colin had his head on straighter, he ripped the earplugs from his ears and shoved them into Theo’s. It didn’t stop the wailing, though, and pretty soon he could feel tears sliding down his own face as he fought with his body against the loud noise Theo was making and the desire to help him. Warm hands pressed to his ears hard as Scarlett crouched down beside him.
“How can I help?” she asked, still holding her hands over his ears as he reached out to Theo. Her voice was muffled, but he could still hear it.
“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I think I’m going to carry him out.”
“Okay.” Scarlett nodded.
Jessie, still standing in the blockade with tears streaming down her face, was grasping at apologies he wasn’t listening to, not that he didn’t know that she was sorry or that this mistake was unforgivable. All his attention was on the boy in front of him.
Tentatively, Colin reached out to grasp Theo around his shoulders, pulling him into his chest. Theo didn’t react by jerking away from his touch, and Colin gasped in surprise when Theo’s small hand gripped him around his back so tightly for someone so small. And he knew exactly what Theo was feeling. Touch starved. A lack of pressure. A need for it. In a heartbreaking lurch of his chest, Colin wondered if Theo had ever been hugged on purpose before. If anyone cared enough to get past his revulsion to physical touch to see that it just needed to be a certain way. He wrapped his arms tighter around the little boy, and instead of carrying Theo out, he held on to him and sat on the ground more solidly. Theo’s tears soaking his shirt and the way he had stopped screaming confirmed what Colin already knew. No one had hugged him. Or, at least, not in a long, long time. Theo wasn’t stupid. He had to know that people avoided touching him when that was what he really needed. It had to feel, even to an eight-year-old, that no one wanted him. That no one cared. That he was too much to handle.
Theo’s fingertips were digging into Colin’s arms like Colin’s pressure alone wasn’t enough to satiate him. “Scarlett,” Colin’s voice broke. “Help me.”
She had let go of his ears the second Theo had stopped screaming. “Plug your ears again?” she asked, tears streaming down her face, too. “Theo’s?”
“No.” Colin shook his head. “Hug him.” Scarlett dropped to her knees and came around Theo’s back, sitting fully on the ground in the street with them and wrapping Theo in a cocoon between the two of them. At some point, Cooper slipped Colin’s headphones—which he must have run to get from the car—over his ears. The silence and peace he found between the three of them was a welcome distraction from his sour mood.
And finally, Theo stopped crying.