Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
Mia
“ M ia, thanks for staying late. I know it’s not ideal. But Dr. Rivers urgently needs to be seen tonight and I need you to run an IV while I run tests. He has patients until we close, so after hours it will have to be.”
“Of course, I completely understand. I know it’s hard for doctors to take care of themselves when they take care of everyone else all day. I just need to make arrangements for Sawyer.”
“Well, go take a break and call that hubby of yours.” She walks away from the nurses' station. “Thanks again.”
Shit.
It’s been three nights since Angus declared he was through making excuses. Since then, he’s been like he’s always been. Perfect. He hasn’t mentioned our 2am conversation, but he has cooked dinner every night. We eat together and then he goes to the bar for two or three hours and is back before I’m in bed.
When he gets home, we talk and watch old episodes of Friends . We’ve started from episode one and I hate knowing we won’t get to spend this time together long enough to make it to episode 234.
He’s giving me space, yet things are different. Casual touches when we’re moving around the house, goodnight kisses on the cheek and don’t get me started on how wet I get every time he calls me babe. He’s not pushing, but he’s not holding back either.
Realistically, I know he won’t mind picking Sawyer up. If I know Angus, it will make his day. I’ve never seen him as happy as when he’s doing all the domestic daily activities that come with sharing a home with the two of us. Still, it’s not his problem. He’s running a business, he has a life, but he’s my only option.
I would rather text him, because every time he says my name with that deep gravely voice, be it my actual name or my childhood nickname, I let my guard down, forgetting the reality of our situation. However, this favor deserves more than a text.
Taking a deep breath, I select his name on my phone.
“Goof. To what do I owe this honor?”
I’ve never heard anything more beautiful than the smile in his voice. Not just any smile, but a smile that says he’s happy to hear from me. If only we were on a video call and I could see those caramel eyes of his.
“Well... I have a favor to ask?”
“I am at your service, m’lady. What is it I can do for you?”
“I am so very sorry about this, and I wouldn’t bother you if I had another option.”
“Woman, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. Spit it out!”
Why does he have to be so sweet?
“Okay, I really cannot believe I have to ask this of you, but would you be able to pick Sawyer up from day care tonight?”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes, everything is fine. We just have a late patient that will keep me here after the on-site day care closes. Are you able to get away from the bar?”
“If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been able to get away every night this week and if it means time with my little buddy, well, you don’t have to ask me twice.”
Of course, I’ve noticed. You’re killing me with your nightly dinners and goodnight kisses.
“You’re sure?”
“Don’t you dare ask me again, Goof.” There’s a hint of humor in his voice, but not much.
“Okay, okay. Thank you so much.”
“What about a car seat?” he asks.
“I’ll take it out of my car and leave it with the gals in the day care. You remember how to put it in the truck, right?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“You’re a lifesaver.”
“Is it okay if I pick him up a little early?”
“Really?”
“If you don’t mind?”
“He’d love that.”
“Nice! I’ll take good care of him and we’ll have some fun, too. Will you be home for dinner, or should we eat without you?”
“I don’t know what time we’ll finish up here. Eat without me. I would tell you what to feed him, but you’ve mastered all his favorites. You’re good to go on that front.”
“Sounds like a plan. You take your time and don’t worry about a thing.”
“Thank you.” Someone walks by and I lower my voice to whisper, fearful of blowing my cover. “I know this is more than you signed up for when you offered your home to us. I hope this doesn’t wreck your plans for the night?”
“When are you gonna realize it’s not a bother when you and Sawyer are involved?” His voice softens. “You can wreck my plans anytime you want, Goof.”
Dumbfounded by his words, I don’t have any in return.
“Mia. Don’t freak out. All I’m saying is I’ve got you.”
He knows me so well.
“Thank you.”
“Stop thanking me. We’ll see you when you get home.”
“Okay, see you when I get home.”
“Bye, Goof.”
“Bye.”
My heart is galloping all over itself and there’s nothing I can do about it.
If I thought moving into his home was a mistake, agreeing to stay in his house with him also in it, was a monumental error in judgment on my part.
My little boy and the man I have always loved are out cold on the couch, Paw Patrol silently playing on the TV. They didn’t hear me come through the front door and are oblivious to the fact that I’m standing in the family room, tears dripping from my chin as I cover my mouth with my hand to hold in my sobs.
I’ve dreamt of this exact scenario so many times. It’s everything I could ever want, not just for me, but for Sawyer. He deserves a life like this more than I do. And as much as Angus tells me he’s tired of making excuses to keep us apart, it’s only because he’s na?ve to the reality of our situation. I’ve got to put an end to this before the three of us get in any deeper. I need to find a new place to live. Maybe I’ll find an apartment in Bend close to the clinic. I’ll start making calls on my break tomorrow.
Slipping off my shoes, I tip-toe through the house to the kitchen where I keep my to-do list, crossing off one item and adding two more. One is a reminder to pick up laundry detergent at the store tomorrow, and the other will change our lives forever.
Gently, I attempt to pick Sawyer up, but Gus’s arms squeeze him tighter to his chest as his eyes open. When he sees it's me, he gives me a soft smile that melts my heart.
“Let me go put him down,” I whisper.
“Okay,” he relents, relaxing his grip.
Sawyer, already in his pajamas, is heavy in my arms. He’s getting so big. So fast. Life is flying by without a care in the world for my need to slow it down. Sooner than I’d like, he’ll be too old for his mom to hug and kiss him in front of his friends and then he’ll be in college, then married.
Good grief, woman! Get a hold of yourself! He’s two!
I chastise myself, because my tears are back and one falls on his little head as I lay him down. Kneeling next to his bed, I watch my baby sleep as I run my fingers through his blond hair. Taking in the moment of peace with him, because his life is about to change irrevocably.
“I’m so sorry, baby boy,” I whisper.
I’m still on the floor with him when I feel Gus’s presence. My moment of peace is over. Who knows if I’ll ever have one again.
Standing, I take a fortifying breath and turn to face the man in the doorway. He’s no longer the childhood crush that kept me up at night. He’s more than any of those things, because I am in love with him. It’s not the kind of love you feel for a family friend, it's an all-consuming kind of love that you only get once in a lifetime. Only, I don’t get to keep my once in a lifetime, because I’m about to lose it. But before I do, I want one more night.
One more night of the most devastating love I’ve ever known. Before I bring it all crashing down.
“You okay?” he asks, as I approach him.
My reply is to link my pinky finger with his as I pass by, leading him out of the room, and closing Sawyer’s door behind us. Angus follows me to his bedroom.
“Mia, as happy as I am to see where your mind is going, I’d like to talk about something before we go any farther.”
Closing the door behind us, I make my way to my bedside table where I turn on the baby monitor, lowering the volume to barely audible. The obsessive mom in me has to have it on, but the woman in me doesn’t need to hear him sleep while I take what I want from the man standing behind me.
“Mia.” His arms wrap around my middle as he whispers in my ear. “We need to talk.”
The caress of his words on the shell of my ear fuels the fire inside me. The last thing I want to do is talk.
“I need to talk to you, too. But it can wait until tomorrow.”
He turns me around so he can look at me. “I don’t want to go further until you know everything. Because that’s what I want from you. Mia. Everything . And I can’t give that to you until we talk.”
Another tear falls. “Same. But tomorrow, okay?”
“Please.” He wipes away my tear. “I want to do the right thing here, and something’s upset you. Talk to me.”
I’m not upset, I’m devastated. Because you won’t want me come the light of day.
Shaking my head slowly, I stand my ground. “I promise to listen to whatever you have to say tomorrow.”
Not allowing him to protest any further, I lift to my toes and kiss him. His hands land on my hips, all protests gone. What starts as slow and gentle, is deepened by him. Our tongues dance together and his hands on my hips pull me against him. His erection begs for attention I’m dying to give him.
Pulling away, I only put enough distance between us for me to pull his shirt over his head and slide his gray sweatpants down as I follow them to the floor. As much as I love Angus in a pair of tight jeans and boots, you won’t hear me complaining that he’s barefoot before me, thankfully going commando under his sweats, providing me easy access.
“What are you doing?” he asks, gloriously naked and all mine for the taking.
In reply I slide my hands up his muscular thighs to his hips. With the bed right behind him, I give him a little push and he understands what I want. He takes a seat on the edge of the bed, while I unabashedly take him in.
Tonight, I will make a point of memorizing every inch of his body I may have missed the last time we were together. Every intricate tattoo covering his olive complexion and taut muscles.
“Baby, you don’t need to do this.”
I don’t want to talk. I just want to feel. Taste. To tattoo this night onto my heart.
So, I don’t reply with words. Instead, I show him how I feel with actions. Dropping my gaze, I watch as my hand strokes down his thick length until the first bead of pre-cum glistens from his tip. I stop to lick it off. Only now do I dare to look at him. He’s gaping at me in awe, so I make a show of licking around his head while my hand continues to stroke him.
Hissing through gritted teeth, he tries to stop me again. “Mia, this is fucking hot, but you don’t need to?—”
With my eyes still locked on his, I silence him by taking him into my mouth, all the way to the back of my throat.
“Fuck,” is all he says as I take him over and over, my eyes watering from his size.
One of his hands glides through my hair and holds on for dear life. He’s not directing the rhythm, he’s just holding on. My eyes had drifted shut, but the light sting of his hand in my hair has me opening them. I’m met with a look on his face so feral it nearly brings me to orgasm. Watching him watch me turns me on. My need to come is overwhelming as my center throbs. Without thinking, my hand slips down my pants as I desperately seek release.
“Fuck, baby. You know I love to watch you touch yourself, but tonight all your orgasms are going to come from me. You won’t be using your hand when you can ride mine. Got it?”
I moan around his cock, and the vibration makes him grit his teeth.
“Give me your hand,” he growls.
Pulling my hand from my pants, I present it to him, glistening with proof of how turned on I am. He stuffs my fingers into his mouth and sucks my wetness from my fingers, causing me to moan again.
“Fuck, Mia. I’m gonna come if you keep doing that. You sure you want that so soon?”
“Hmm, hmmm,” I groan around him.
I’m not worried about him coming already. Experience tells me he’ll make me come several times and then be ready again. This man has the stamina of a fictional book boyfriend.
“One last time, Mia. You sure?”
Taking my hand away from him I tug on his balls, giving him his answer. The tension in my hair increases and his abs flex as his body grows stiff. He moans my name, releasing my hand so he can fist the sheets as he throws his head back and comes down my throat.
Rising to my feet, I blatantly take inventory of him. He’s spread out before me, post orgasm, his broad chest rising and falling from exertion. The V of his muscles acts as a flashing neon light, directing my attention to the heavy cock resting between his thick thighs.
He is a masterpiece.
“You like what you see?”
I nod. Still afraid to speak.
“I’m glad because I’m all yours, Mia. You know that, right?”
A fresh tear escapes, and I don’t bother stopping it from streaming down my face. Tonight, I’m giving him all of me.
When I don’t answer, he stands, lifting my sweatshirt over my head, then pulling my yoga pants down. I brace my hands on his shoulders as he strips me until I’m standing before him in only my bra and panties.
He takes my face in his hands, bending his knees until we’re eye to eye. “I’m yours, baby, and you’re mine.”