Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Knox
Knox
She’s got to go
Trevor
Sorry, dude. It’s a done deal.
Knox
I really can’t deal with this on top of everything else
Trevor
She’ll grow on you. The other guys think she’s great.
I know what they like about her. She’s a damn knockout. When she walked into that suite five minutes ago, the air felt electric. I hadn’t set eyes on her yet, but I felt it. Then... I turned around. Fuck me if my world didn’t tilt on its axis.
It was like nothing I’d experienced before.
It was unnerving.
She was unnerving.
I didn’t intimidate her in the least. Not with the fire burning in her eyes. All it took was a split second in that room with her to know, without a doubt, she was different.
She’s dangerous. That’s what she is.
I haven’t noticed a woman in years. Sure, I’ve had sex with plenty who fit a certain mold.
What can I say? I know what I like. Or thought I knew what I liked until Ryan Staley walked into that room.
Before, if a woman checked the right boxes, that was enough.
But those women and those checkboxes don’t exist anymore, because I never had a type.
Until Ryan.
Auburn curls. Check.
Peaches and cream skin. Check.
Dark brown eyes lit with a fire daring any man to try to put it out. Check.
Freckles scattered over her straight nose and pink cheeks. Check.
Curves in all the right places complemented by an ample ass I’d give my left nut to get my hands on. Check.
Real breasts that look like they’re a perfect handful. Check.
That sexy as hell rasp to her voice. Check.
A personality that says I don’t care who the fuck you think you are. I’m Ryan Staley and you don’t scare me one bit. Fucking check.
She’s everything and too much all at once. A complication I can’t afford and don’t deserve. Besides, a woman like that can’t possibly be single.
I may be a lot of things, but I’m not a cheater.
She has to go.
Knox
You’re the most powerful man in the music industry. Don’t tell me you can’t fix this.
Trevor
We all agreed. We vetted her. You read her work. She was your number one pick.
Knox
That was when I thought she was a man
Trevor
When did you become a sexist prick?
Knox
Fuck u
Trevor
Wait. You want to get in her pants, don’t you?
Of course I do, but it’s more than that. It’s not some love at first sight bullshit. It’s something I can’t name. All I know for certain is I cannot be alone with her. I think this but would never confess it to him.
Trevor
You telling me your self-control is that piss-poor?
Knox
whatever
Knox
just keep her away from me
When the elevator doors open, the entire Messing clan is inside.
Sean, our drummer, his wife Marie, and their three perfect kids.
Each of my bandmates married the loves of their lives.
Sean and Matt have three kids each, and Jay has one.
As much as I love them, it’s hard to be around them sometimes.
They’re a constant reminder of what I don’t have in my life.
For the past few years, all I’ve wanted was someone I could call my best friend and my lover.
To have a family. Stability. This is one of many things I keep to myself, never letting on to anyone close to me know that I want anything other than the life I live.
Especially, when that life doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me.
“Hey, Uncle Knox, whatcha doin’?” Nick asks with his hands in his pockets being the casually cool twelve-year-old that he is.
“Headed back to my room.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be in a meeting with Ryan right now?” Sean asks, confused.
“We met.”
Looking at his non-existent watch, he calls me out on my bullshit. “Uh, it started two minutes ago. Why are you going back to your room? ”
“I wasn’t really feeling it.”
“Knox McKinnon,” Marie scolds me, stepping into my space. “So help me. If you were a jerk to her, I will make you pay. Ryan is one of the good ones. She’s one of us. You don’t get to brush her off because you’re in a bad mood.”
How the hell did they all grow so close to her so quickly? What am I missing?
Before I can ask, sweet little Hannah takes my hand. “Come to our room and we’ll play Uno. It’ll make you feel better.”
The elevator doors open on the top floor and Hannah tugs me out into the hallway. I didn’t answer her request, but she knows I can’t refuse her. Besides, Uno is our thing. I’ve spent more time with Hannah in the last couple months than I have with anyone.
While we wait for Sean to open the door, Marie gives me another warning. “I’m not playing, McKinnon. Be nice to Ryan. If not, you’ll not only face my wrath, but Kristen and Jenn’s, too.”
“What is it about this woman that has you all under her spell?”
“You’re kidding me, right?”
Hannah pulls me away from her mom, into the hotel suite to the living room table. The Uno cards are already waiting for us. We both set our butts on the plush carpet to play while I pretend I don’t feel her mom’s death stare boring into the back of my head.
After a couple games, it’s time for the kids to do their schoolwork and to be honest, my knees, back, and ass can’t take a minute longer on this damn floor. I’d never complain about spending time with my little Hannah Banana, but these knees of mine are not getting any younger.
However, game time for Uncle Knox is just getting started.
Matt’s son, Connor, texted me while I was getting my ass handed to me by Hannah, challenging me to a round of pool.
He assured me he was done with his schoolwork, so I accepted his challenge.
Now I’m heading over to the Clark’s suite down the hall.
Hanging with the kids is pretty routine for me on this tour. I’m not ashamed to admit I love every second. I rarely get back-to-back hang time, but after the way my day started, the distraction is nice. Bringing the families on this final tour was the best decision the band ever made.
These kids will never know how lucky they are to have parents who prioritize their well-being and sense of normalcy.
We only perform Friday through Sunday, leaving the other days of the week for travel, sightseeing, and schoolwork.
Sean, Matt, Jay, and I may not get to go on all the fun fieldtrips with them, but their moms, and sometimes their grandparents, are always there. No nannies.
The seven kids of my bandmates are like brothers and sisters.
They live minutes from each other in Calabasas and have this whole other life that I’m not a part of.
Sure, when I’m in L.A. I’m always around.
Celebrities aren’t that big of a deal where they live, and I do my best to attend birthday parties, school performances, and sporting events.
My bandmates don’t exclude me intentionally.
I don’t have a family, and I split my time between Los Angeles and New York.
Until recently, I was always out doing what people like me do.
Living like the cliché I’d become. I haven’t been out once since that fateful call.
Haven’t been drunk. Haven’t been laid. Haven’t gotten rid of the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“Knoooooox!” Ben yells, giving me a millisecond of warning before slamming into my legs the minute Kristen lets me in to the Clark’s suite.
“What’s up, my guy?” I pick him up, flipping him onto my shoulders.
He holds his arms out wide, and I fly him around the room making zoom noises.
He’s five now and every time we do this, it gets a little harder than the time before.
The kids gonna be a linebacker or a WWE wrestler.
He’s huge and hyper, but as smart as they come.
“Just finished my third book this week! I’m gonna finish all my summer reading before everyone else.”
Like I said. Smart.
“Well done, little man,” I say, lifting him from my shoulders and setting him on his feet.
We high-five and he runs ahead of me. “Uncle Knox is here!”
When I’m in this environment I’m all about the kids.
When I’m back home, around family, I put on this persona as though I don’t want to be a parent.
That kids give me the ick. It’s my way of shielding myself from the pity in Mom’s eyes and the questions on everyone else’s lips.
If I make it known I’m not interested in a family, nobody asks. Mom doesn’t feel sorry for me.
Doesn’t mean that it’s true, though.
The Clarks are staying in the grand penthouse while we’re in Nashville.
They’re a big group and need the space. I follow Ben and the sound of clacking pool balls until we find Connor and his dad, Matt, on either side of a pool table in the game room.
Kristen calls Ben’s name from somewhere in the penthouse and he runs out of the room to find her.
The too cool for school twelve-year-old son is the first one to notice me. He gives me a cool-dude chin lift. “Hey, Knox.”
“What’s up, Connor? You letting your dad kick your butt?”
“Nope, I’m stripes, he’s solid. Just gonna sink this eight ball and then I’ll be ready to kick your butt.”
“You are your father’s son, aren’t you?”
“If you mean handsome and charming, why yes, yes he is,” Matt says, wrapping his arm around his kid’s neck and giving him a gentle noogie on his floppy haired head.
“I was thinking, competitive. Maybe a little arrogant.”
Connor snickers. His dad flips me off.
“Heard you brushed Ryan off?”
Here we go. I may have escaped the woman herself, but she seems to be all anyone I know wants to talk about.
“You’re all a bunch of little hens clucking away, aren’t you?”
“Eight ball, corner pocket.” Connor sinks the ball, ending the game. “Next.”
“Buddy, give Knox and me a minute.”
“Come on,” the preteen whines.
“Five minutes.”
“Fine.”
I follow Matt down the hall and into some kind of office. I swear this penthouse is bigger than my place in New York. There’s a room for everything. Apparently, this is the room you take your best friend to when you need to scold him .
I’m so damn tired of all the lectures.