Chapter 3 #2
Hopefully, this is it for the day.
Fingers fucking crossed.
“Listen, Knox. You know you can talk to me.”
“Sure do.”
He looks at me for a beat, running a hand over the scruff on his face. A tell-tale sign he’s frustrated but is trying with all his might to keep it contained.
“Dude, what is with you?”
“I’m here to play pool with Con. I’ve been here two-minutes. What could I have done to make you think something is wrong?”
Stalling.
That’s what I’m doing.
Not sure why I bother, he’ll say what he needs to say now or thirty seconds from now.
“You haven’t been yourself for a while and I don’t know why you won’t talk to us about whatever it is.”
I lean against the desk. “I appreciate the concern, but I’m all good.”
“I don’t believe you.”
Of course he doesn’t. My bandmates know me better than I know myself.
“Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad you’ve cut back on the drinking and partying, but what’s the reason behind the change? I’m worried about you. Especially, after last night.” He takes a step closer, clasping a hand on my shoulder. “If you won’t talk to me, talk to Sean. Talk to Jay. Trevor. Anyone.”
If the shame wasn’t so all-consuming, I would.
Trevor knows and for now that’s enough .
“I know I can talk to you. But there isn’t anything to talk about.”
“So, why won’t you sit down with Ryan? Will you talk about that?”
“She rubs me the wrong way.”
“Ryan doesn’t rub anyone the wrong way. This is a you thing.”
“I know you all think the woman walks on water, but I don’t think she’s right for the project.”
“Well, breaking news... This isn’t a dictatorship. The rest of the band thinks she’s the perfect person for the job, so you’re going to get over yourself and she’s gonna stay.”
“Whatever.”
“Knox, I just don’t get it. What did she do to you?”
“She’s a distraction we don’t need right now. This last run should be about the band. Spending this time together while we can.”
Yes, I’m reaching, because what am I supposed to say? The woman knocked me senseless the moment we met, and I don’t trust myself around her?
“Were you hit in the head or something? She’s here because we want this tour to be all about us.
Because we want to document everything. I think the actual issue is that you’re attracted to her.
You’re afraid you can’t be a good little boy and keep your dick in your pants.
If that’s the case, you need to grow the fuck up.
You’re the one who threw her name out there. Said how much you loved her work.”
How misogynistic would it sound if I told him that was because I didn’t know she was a woman? Although, that is the truth, it’s not about her being a woman or not keeping my dick in my pants. It’s something more. Something I can’t explain.
“Listen, I’m tired of talking about this lady. I came here to play pool with your kid, not to get the third degree. We’ll talk about this later.”
“Again, not a dictatorship. You’re not walking out of this room until you promise me you’ll get over yourself and treat Ryan with the respect she deserves. Professionally and personally. She isn’t going anywhere.”
“Fine. Done.”
“Good, because she’s on her way here as we speak. I expect you to be on your best behavior.”
What the actual fuck?
Why is he talking to me like I’m his kid?
Biting my tongue, I walk away from Matt as though I don’t have a care in the world. But inside my guts are churning because I know there’s no getting away from her. Ryan Staley is staying on tour with us, and I’ve got to get my shit together.
Connor is talking to someone as I reenter the game room and fuck my tits if the thorn in my side isn’t currently invading my space, playing what should be my game of eight ball with my nephew.
Since when is she so intertwined with the band that she plays pool with the kids?
Where the hell did this woman come from?
“Sorry, Knox. You snooze, you lose.” Connor grins at me. “Ryan took your spot. You can play the winner, though.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. I’ll leave you to it,” I say as Ryan says, “Sorry. I didn’t know you were next in line.”
“Come on, don’t leave, Knox. You know I’ll beat her. We’ll still get to play. ”
“You better watch how you treat your elders,” Ryan chides, chalking the end of her cue. “Have you forgotten what happened yesterday? We played three games in Chicago and, if I remember correctly, I won all three.”
“I swear you cheat,” he says under his breath.
Standing at the other end of the table, still wearing that same tight white tank she had on earlier, she calls her shot, then leans over her stick. Not only does she sink her shot, but her eyes flick to mine before she does, catching me watching her.
Did I take a passing glance at her perfect breasts? Possibly. But that vision was nothing compared to the big chocolate eyes that lock on mine. No anger. No intimidation. Just a casual indifference that tells me nothing, yet makes me feel everything.
Not reaching down to adjust myself is proof of willpower I didn’t know I could conjure.
A willpower I could have used a time or two over the years.
Although it continues to be tested as she casually rounds the table, lining up her next shot.
There’s something about the way she moves.
The way she looks at not just me, but Connor, too.
With confidence and lightheartedness. She doesn’t have to saunter to exhibit sex appeal, she simply has it.
Her eyes are no longer locked on mine, but damn, I wish they were.
She’s only looked at me twice, and I’m already addicted.
She makes her second shot, the cue ball landing at my end of the table. “What were you saying, Con?”
She’s already using his nickname?
“Well, I’m used to playing with old guys like Knox and my dad. I kick their butts all the time.”
“Is that so?” she questions him, doubt in her voice .
“Totally. Right, Knox?” Connor does his best to sound convincing. His eyes are begging me not to sell him out.
Well, well, well. I think Con might have himself a crush on an older woman.
He’s talking out of his ass. He knows it. I know it, and I’m pretty sure Ryan knows it. But being the good wingman I am, I play along.
“Yep. He’s a pool shark.”
I’m not technically lying. For his age, he’s great. Do I beat him seventy-five percent of the time? I do. We spent our youth in bars playing pool before and after gigs. His dad and I are practically pros. But he’s not bad. We let him win now and then.
“Well, we’ll have to play again to find out because I’m about to sink this ball and win the game,” Ryan says with a smile just before she strikes the cue ball, sending it into her next shot. “Unless the old guy, as I believe you called him, wants to play winner.”
I have no idea what she hit or where because her eyes are on me again and I’m drowning. Drowning in her intoxicating beauty without a floatation device. My lungs constrict as I fight for air. As drawn to her as I am, the only thing that feels appropriate is to flee.
Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I pretend to check my schedule.
“Sorry, I totally forgot I have to be somewhere, kiddo. How bout a rain check?” I aim my apology and my rain check in Connor’s direction, avoiding eye contact with Ryan.
If I look at her again, I may get pulled under and never come back up.
Never breathe again.
“Sure,” he says much too quickly and rather pleasantly. If I’m not mistaken, he’s happy to see me go. He doesn’t need me now that the hot journalist is here. He wants all of her attention.
I get it, kid.
“Later.”
I don’t wait for replies, and I don’t look back on my way to the door that will lead me to the hallway, where I can hopefully take a full breath again.