Chapter 63
Chapter Sixty-Three
Knox
O wen Swift’s baby sister Olivia, who’s worked at McKinnon Hardware since high school, is lounging at the counter, scrolling on her phone when I push through the door of my family’s store, and into the crisp air-conditioned air.
“How goes it, Livvy?”
Her feet fly off the counter and she jumps to attention, wasting no time in aiming that same phone at me. “Oh! Hey, Knox.”
As nonchalant as she tries to be, it’s not working. Olivia Swift has no shame in her game. She’s always been fiery and isn’t the best at censoring herself. As lively as she is, I’m surprised to see she hasn’t left Goose Hollow.
“So, you taking pictures or recording? ”
“I wouldn’t do that, Knox.” The devilish smile on her face tells me otherwise.
Walking around the counter, I step behind her to find her camera set to video. “I’m sure it’s an honest mistake. Let me correct it for you.” Calmly grabbing the phone from her hand, I stop the recording and delete the video. “Here you go. All fixed.”
“Whatever,” she says, plopping into her chair.
Sliding onto the stool behind the register, I take in the view I had throughout school.
Working at the store on the weekends was something all four of us did.
We stocked shelves, manned the register, mixed paint, cleaned and, my favorite…
stacked lumber. The smell of pine always reminds me of the store.
Of home.
Moving home means finding a way back to a simpler life. One where every step I take isn’t being watched and scrutinized.
“Let’s have a chat, shall we?”
She does her best to smother her excitement, but her pink cheeks give her away. “Sure. What do you want to chat about?”
“Why don’t we put our phones on the counter? Just in case yours accidentally starts recording again.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
She does as I’ve asked with an eye roll and a smartass expression that says, fine. She may be in her mid-twenties, but she still acts like a teenager.
“Listen, I’m moving back to Goose Hollow, and I want to feel comfortable.
At ease in my family’s store. My dad and Callen have worked hard to make this business what it is.
We don’t need this place tagged in posts, so the paparazzi converge on something that means so much to our family.
What do you say, we stop with the pictures and videos? ”
“It’s not like I’m the only person in town who does it. I mean, do you see anyone else walking around town looking like a rock star? You don’t exactly blend in.”
“Be that as it may, I’d like this place to continue to feel like home. I know there will be others, but Livvy, you’re practically family. If I can’t feel relaxed around my own family, in my own family store, then where the hell am I supposed to go?”
“Why do you even wanna come back here?” Her face contorts at the thought of me choosing to return to Goose Hollow.
“I’ve been around the world. I’ve done all the things.
Over the last twenty years, cameras have been hiding around every corner.
I’ve rarely had a moment of privacy when stepping out of my home.
I’m not complaining. I’ve had a wonderful life, but I miss my family.
I wasn’t here when my dad passed, and I don’t want to miss any more important moments.
I know there will be others in town who may be a problem, but can I count on you to help me adjust back into the real world?
A world where I can be myself and not worry every breath I take is being recorded? ”
Her face softens as she nods her head. “I can do that.”
“Thank you. Now, Cal’s gonna be out for a while and I know you and Loten have things under control here, but if you need anything, Angus and I are just a phone call away. I’m sure Cal left Gus’s number but let me put mine in your phone in case he’s not around. ”
She unlocks her phone before handing it to me. “You trust me with your number?”
Not really, but I’m desperate for you to prove me wrong.
“Should I not?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “Of course not. I mean, of course you should. I mean...”
“I’m gonna trust you. I know you won’t share it with anyone. Angus should be your first call since he knows more about the shop than I do, but if you can’t get ahold of him and there’s an emergency, reach out.”
“Thank you,” she says, pocketing her phone.
“Thanks for chatting with me,” I say as the door swings open, and the man himself walks in. “Speak of the devil.”
“Morning.” Angus waves before stopping short. “Shit, I haven’t seen you behind this counter in decades.” He shakes his head. “Weird.”
“See, even your own brother thinks it’s an anomaly to see you here,” Livvy says, defending her actions.
“Well, you both better get used to it, because I’m not going anywhere.” Coming out from behind the checkout counter, I pull my brother in for a hug.
“Glad to hear it,” Gus replies quietly before stepping back. “Hey, I’ve only got a second, but I saw your truck in the lot and wanted to catch you. See if you want to stop by the bar tonight. Daisy and Owen are gonna be there around eight, if you and Ryan want to join.”
God, I want to, but I also want to stay as hidden as possible. Coming to the store today was a test. I’m not sure I’d give myself a passing grade after my chat with Livvy, but it’s a start.
She’s right, I don’t exactly blend in. But, if I plan on staying here, I need to expand my horizons. My brother’s bar seems like a safe place to start.
“I’ll talk to Ryan, but I can’t see why that wouldn’t work.”
“Perfect. Listen, I have to meet the beer guy at The House, so I have to run. Glad I caught you, big bro. It’s good to see you in town. Even better to see you at the store. See you tonight.”
“I’ll walk out with you. See ya later, Livvy.”
Before Gus gets in his truck I ask, “How’s Sawyer?”
Did he sleep well last night? What did he have for breakfast? How’s the potty training going? When do I get to see him again?
“He’s good. He keeps asking when he gets to go ride with Papa Knox.”
Holy shit. He’s thinking about me.
Wants to see me again.
Shit, a toddler has me all a flutter.
“Really?”
“Not sure where the papa thing came from, though.”
“That was me. Something I was trying out.”
Angus looks at me, nothing but sincerity in his eyes. “You good with that?”
“All around the world kids call their dads Papa. I figure we can both be dad this way. It’s gonna take some getting used to. Hell, being home is an adjustment, let alone sharing dad duties with my brother. I know it will work itself out, though.”
“I don’t know what to say. I’m not sure I would be as cool about all of this if it was me.”
“It’s not about us, Gus. ”
He won’t grow up feeling like Ryan did. Uncomfortable in his own home. Never.
“But I’m not his parent. You are.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it. We got this. We’re gonna work it out. Now go meet your beer guy. You don’t want Owen and I to drink you dry tonight.”
A little dumbfounded, Angus doesn’t move for a few heartbeats, before opening his truck door. “I’m really glad you’re home.”
“Me too,” I say and mean it.
He hops into the cab of the truck. “See you tonight.” He closes the door and drives away.
It’s hot as hell out but I feel like a walk.
Another little test to see how well I blend in.
I might even stop by the coffee shop and say hi to Ryan and her sister.
She took off early this morning to help Rebecca, because one of her employees is on vacation.
Ryan’s working for free because she loves the one-on-one time with her sister.
Even if they’re busy and don’t get to talk much, it’s good for them to be together.
Pulling my sunglasses on, I stroll one block down to the new bookstore that’s taken the place of the old law office that was here before it.
I have a blast shopping for soft baby books for Grace and some of my favorite bedtime classics to start a collection for Sawyer’s room.
Goodnight Moon, Brown Bear, Where the Wild Things Are, and Charlotte’s Web.
Some are much too old for him but might as well start his library now.
The woman at the register doesn’t seem to recognize me.
I leave the bookstore with my canvas bag full of stories, take a deep breath and feel safe for the first time in a long time.
Strolling along Main Street, I stop short of going into the coffee shop when I see the two sisters behind the counter laughing hysterically about something.
I don’t dare interrupt this rare moment for them, so I keep on walking, pure happiness in my heart.
To see Ryan happy is like a salve to my once aching soul. I try not to worry that I won’t be enough to keep her content.
Is wanting her to move back to our hometown that we both desperately ran away from too much to ask of her?
When the newness rubs off, will she see what a bore I am?
Will she resent me or Sawyer when the next sixteen years revolves around my kid?
Shaking the negative thoughts from my head, I hold on to the image of Ryan and Rebecca laughing.
One day at a time, McKinnon. One day at a time.
Before I know it, I’m in my truck driving to the grocery store.
It’s too hot to walk back with the groceries, so I drive the short distance to the store, park, and grab a cart.
I can’t remember the last time I roamed the aisles of a grocery store.
It must have been when the band was living out of a van, searching for the cheapest food we could find, to stay alive.
We saved a large portion of the little money we had for booze. Cheap booze, but it got the job done.
Not sure what to pick up, I load the cart with the basics.
Everything we need for sandwiches, cereal and milk, bananas, random beverages, ice cream and other snacks, but I have no idea how to choose produce.
But it’s not about the produce. It’s about passing another self-inflicted test to see how hard it is to exist in the town I fled from, too consumed with guilt to say any longer.
So far, so good.
At a loss for what else to get, I find the one open register and pay. The woman ringing me up doesn’t give me a second glance and I practically skip through the parking lot.
My bags are in the truck, my cart returned, and I’m ten feet from climbing behind the wheel when the trauma I’ve been running from finds me.
“Knox McKinnon, as I live and breathe!”
I turn to greet the person who’s spotted me, and my heart drops. I break out into a cold sweat because I recognize the woman walking toward me with arms wide open. I could never forget her.
“Hello, Mrs. Buck. It’s good to see you.” I pray she doesn’t hear the shake in my voice.
“I’d know that head of hair anywhere.” She lifts on her toes, pulling me into a hug. “How long are you in town for?”
As of a few minutes ago, forever. Now, I’m not so sure.
“I’m thinking about moving back.”
“Oh, how wonderful. Your mother must be over the moon.”
Pushing my hair behind my ears, I reply with a yes, not knowing what else to say.
“Well, I’ll let you go. It’s good to have you home, Knox. Welcome back.”
“Thanks, Mrs. Buck.”
“It’s Mrs. Baker now. Same initials, but new last name. I’m truly blessed to have had two great loves in my life. I’ll introduce you to John the next time we see each other. He’ll be thrilled to meet you.”
“That would be nice.”
“Have a good day and say hello to your mom for me,” she says, walking toward the store .
I get into the truck, blast the AC, and hold my hair off my neck, desperate to cool off.
She found love again.
Grasping on to that thought, I drive back to the cabin in a haze of emotion. Before I know it, I’m parked in front of the cabin, and I don’t even remember the drive home. I check the clock. It’s not even noon yet. I run my hands through my shoulder-length hair and sigh.
Things were going so well.
Until they weren’t.