13. Changing Tides
Changing Tides
“Wow, this is absolutely breathtaking.”
Nadine, Tatum and Alisa stood inside the nursery for the twins.
Draped in shades of gold and purple, it was like something out of a fairytale.
Even the rocking chairs look like miniature thrones.
Toys and Black children’s books lined the built-in shelves.
Murals were painted on the walls and a starry night was painted on the ceiling.
It was clear the Bishop-Miller’s had spared no expense for their bundles of joy.
Nadine was grateful for the distraction.
It had been a crazy couple of days since therapy.
She and Eddie were talking, unpacking her budding attraction to her “co-worker” and how to navigate it.
He was more supportive than she thought he’d be, telling her she needed to face it head on.
Yet she was still avoiding Zaire. It felt so tense as they danced around each other.
But Zaire didn’t push. She kept her distance, yet Nadine still felt her eyes burning holes into her, searing her skin as if she was touching her all over again.
Nadine could admit that she missed the feeling of her body pressed against hers.
Her fingers strumming her clit. Torment felt like the right word for how she was feeling, but it still felt too small.
Alisa smiled, taking in the room. Dressed in an Oscar de la Renta kaftan, she looked like a goddess. “I know. The decorator really did her thing. I told her I wanted Wakanda meets fairytale, and she really delivered.”
Nadine picked up a stuffed lion. “I swear you can fit two of my bedrooms in here. It’s gorgeous, Alisa.”
“So are you ready, Alisa? Just a few more weeks!” asked Tatum excitedly.
“Well,” sighed Alisa as she sat down gingerly in a rocking chair. “As ready as I am going to be. I just want these jokers outta here so I can get my body back. I want to fuck my husbands like I used to. And I wanna stop peeing so much.”
“That ain’t gonna stop,” declared Nadine. “Actually, it’s probably gonna get worse.”
Alisa’s eyes widened. “Why didn’t y'all tell me the truth about pregnancy!? Both of you made it look so easy! Ya’ll were just glowing and stuff. And here I am, looking like a dressed turkey!”
Nadine rolled her eyes. Alisa always had a flair for the dramatic, but pregnant Alisa was on ten.
“Uhm, we told you, but you didn’t listen.
Girl, I was swollen all over with EJ. Shuffling in slippers most of the day.
Or you don’t remember? Alisa, you’re far from a turkey!
You’ve never looked more beautiful. Your hair is all flowing down your back. You’re glowing!”
“I agree,” said Tatum “You are glowing! My skin got so dark with Morgan I looked burnt. Frankie was so concerned that he took me to a dermatologist. Not to mention…”
“Alright, enough you two,” interrupted Alisa.
“I didn’t ask y’all to come over to talk babies.
Y’all both been acting weird and I need to get to the bottom of shit.
” Alisa pointed to the two plush ottomans nearest the rocking chairs.
“Sit! And you all better not move until you both tell the damn truth.”
“Wow, you really are in your motherhood phase,” mumbled Nadine as she slowly sat, followed by Tatum, who gave her a smile.
Alisa adjusted her back pillow, settling in to read them down to their socks.
“What is it with you two? Is it because Chris and Kadeem took over the shower and stuff? I know y’all wanted to be involved.
” Tears pricked the corners of Alisa’s eyes.
“It’s me? I know it is. I feel so disconnected from you all.
I’m just stuck in this big ass house, all big and can’t do shit.
I can’t even see you all like I used to. ”
“Oh, Lisa…” Tatum rubbed her knee. “It’s not like that at all.”
“Not at all,” Nadine assured. “But it definitely isn’t about you or the shower. Truth be told, I’m glad they took charge. With the merger at the job and adjusting to the new nanny, I don’t even have the time.”
“Same,” agreed Tatum. “This new chair position has been a lot.”
Alisa wiped her tears. “Ok, because I was so worried. So, Deanie, how is Glinda? Her sister ok?”
“Glinda is ok. Her sister is still on the mend. I didn’t know the two of you sent her something too.
That was really sweet of y’all.” Glinda had checked in with Nadine a few days before, asking about EJ and the new nanny.
Her sister was actually doing a lot worse than she realized.
She’d received Zelle payments from both Tatum and Alisa.
Nadine was so grateful to have such kind friends.
Alisa smiled. “Of course, she’s practically family. I don’t remember a time when she wasn’t around.”
“Right, so I know this new nanny is a serious adjustment.” agreed Tatum.
“Yeah,” Nadine twirled the fraying hem of her designer jeans. “So, the new nanny is…she’s…different.”
“What does that mean?” Tatum squinted. “She better not be treating EJ harshly. This is a new adjustment for him too, with Glinda gone.”
“Oh god, no! Not that. EJ loves her. And I…” Nadine’s eyes fell to her knees. She willed herself not to clam up or cry. Her friends, like her therapist said, deserved to know the whole of who she was. And how she felt. It’s not about coming out, it’s about letting people in. “I like her too.”
“Well, that’s good.” said Alisa. “Because I am sure it’s not easy to have a new person in your space.”
“No,” said Nadine, blowing out a breath as she looked up at the painted ceiling. “I…I like her.”
Alisa and Tatum looked at Nadine wide-eyed but said nothing, allowing their friend to have the space she needed to talk. Nadine was grateful, because she needed a few more beats before she could speak again.
“Zaire is young. She’s beautiful. Gorgeous. I’ve never had someone care for me the way she does. Like I said, EJ adores her and…I’m very attracted to her.”
“How young?” interrupted Tatum, her perfectly arched brow raised to the heavens.
“Twenty-six.”
“Whoa,” Alisa said. “That is young. And does Eddie know?”
Tears fell from Nadine’s eyes. “He knows I’m attracted to women…now. We kind of had it out in therapy.” She looked at her friends, who were so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. “I’ve always been attracted to women. I just finally had the courage to actually admit it.”
“Have you and Zaire, you know, had sex?” asked Tatum
“I mean, we’ve touched and kissed. But…” Nadine looked up, confused. “Wait, y’all don’t seem that surprised by the fact that I am attracted to women? We just gonna skip over that like it’s nothing?”
Tatum smiled. “Deanie, we’ve been your friends since we were old enough to ride bikes to Miss Lula’s corner store. We’ve always known.”
“Really?” Nadine’s eyes nearly bulged out her head.
“Please! Remember that time you got caught with Ally in the dirt after Girl Scouts?” said Alisa.
“That was a big red flag. You stopped coming to Scouts, and you stopped being friends with Ally. We were kids, but we definitely could put two and two together. Not to mention, Mrs. Alston called you all kinds of “unseemly dykes” in church. I had to go to the dictionary to find out what a dyke was.”
Nadine sighed. “Yeah. She and my mama weren’t too happy about that.”
“And when we were on the cheer squad, you sure did like being a base and look up skirts.” Alisa shrugged.
“Hold on now,” Nadine protested. “I liked being a base because it was easiest.”
“So you weren’t looking up Shamika Parker’s skirt?”
“Ok…maybe…Shamika did have a big ass.”
“True,” laughed Tatum. “And those skirts didn’t leave much to the imagination.”
‘My point exactly,” Alisa rolled her eyes. “Then, I remember that time we came and visited you on campus at Spelman. You were all flush in the face when your sorority sister left your dorm room.”
“Yep, it was very clear to us that you were uhm… a little busy,” Tatum nodded.
Nadine remembered that day. She and her soror, who had a boyfriend, would fool around on occasion. When Tatum and Alisa popped up on her, she lied and said they were practicing step routines. She had no idea they saw right through her ruse.
“Why did you two never say anything!?” screeched Nadine, looking between the two. “You two coulda saved me so much heartache. Especially when I married Drew. I realize now that I married him to just squash those feelings. To seem normal.”
“As your friends that wasn’t our place,” Tatum reached out for Nadine’s hand. “This is your journey. Some people realize their sexuality later in life. You’re one of them.”
Alisa rocked slowly in her chair. “We know you, Nadine. You were probably making up excuses about why you felt the way you did in the first place and couldn’t tell us.”
Tatum nodded, agreeing. “You had this visceral reaction when both Alisa and I started our relationships. You said bisexuals were “selfish”, remember? I know all of that was because of how you were raised.”
Nadine’s face flushed with shame. “I did and I am sorry I ever said that. I just I always thought it was a phase. That’s what my parents kept telling me. But then I met Zaire at Secrets with Eddie and those feelings rushed back to me all at once…”
“Back up,” Alisa held up her hand. “I thought Zaire was the nanny.”
“And you went to Secrets, girl? With Eddie?” Tatum asked, shock registering on both her and Alisa’s faces. “Thought you said I was a bad influence, and you’d never be caught dead there.”
“It was Eddie’s idea, actually.” Nadine went on to explain how she initially met Zaire and the kiss that they shared. How it freaked her out, yet she couldn’t stop thinking about her. How she went straight to therapy about it. And how she ended up on her doorstep weeks later.
“Whoa,” Alisa said, leaning back. “I knew you were holding on to some shit, but never this. Damn…Deanie…and you think you know your friends?”
Nadine had to smirk at Alisa using her lines back on her.
“Does Eddie know that you’re attracted to your nanny?” asked Tatum. “You gotta tell him, babe.”