Chapter 3
CHAPTER 3
JAX
T he cloudless sky above was the blue of the warm waters of St. Thomas as the birds sang and celebrated a beautiful fall morning.After the hellish few weeks I’d been through, I felt the weather should match my mood: dark, dreary, or maybe a downpour of cold rain making every soul in the county miserable.
Typically, there was nothing like an unseasonably warm week in Montana in October, with the thermometer hitting seventy-five degrees yesterday and the same expected all week. Of course, Daisy was giddy with the wedding coming up. It’s a good thing my mood couldn’t dictate the weather, becauseI wanted nothing but sunshine and happiness for the woman who raised me.
As I stomped towards the barn, I glanced over my shoulder at my cabin. The cabin my foster brother Austin helped me build two years ago right on the property I loved, never knowing it would be the downfall of all my plans for a wife and family.
Rounding the corner, I was nearly plowed down by Daisy, who was running at lightning speed, well, lightning speed considering the high heels on her feet while chasing the rooster. What in the hell was she doing in heels?
“Jax, grab Cluck Vader!” She was breathless as she bent over and rested her hands on her knees. “I’m too old for this shit.”
I cornered and captured Cluck Vader, who had a reputation for being a runner, before getting him back in the coop.
Daisy stood and slowed her pace as she made her way to me. “Thank you, baby.” She gave me a hug. “What would Jim and I do without you?”
She’d never have to find out. “All good.”
She gave me a wink. No matter how many years had flown by, that small gesture brought me back to the day the social worker brought me to her ranch. Daisy, with the big red hair and a smile that could warm the whole state, gave me a wink and told me everything was going to be okay.
“I was just going to give you a ring. Sharon from Social Servicescalled and asked if you would be willing to take a little boy while his foster family goes out of town for the night. It’ll just be this afternoon until tomorrow morning.”
“Yeah, I’ll call her.”
She read my face, per usual. “I know it’s temporary, but one day you’ll give a child a forever home. You’re a special man to want to do that.”
“I learned from the best.”
She laughed. “Damn straight.” A deep breath. “How are you doing?”
“It still sucks, but it is what it is.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I never thought she had the perfect nose. I lied to the girl.”
She was lying to me too. We both knew it. The definition of beautiful was Abby. Golden hair and emerald eyes that stole my heart and a determination to get me out of here, that broke us.
Austin’s black truck pulled up to the barn. He hopped out wearing worn jeans and his favorite AC/DC black T-shirt with that shit-ass grin I’d known since I was ten.
Daisy walked over, her finger pointed at him in accusation. “Good to have you back, but I know you returned last night. I would’ve expected to see you or at least get a phone call, my boy.”
He chuckled as she hugged him. “Sorry, got a little sidetracked.” He waggled his eyebrows at me over her shoulder.
Daisy pulled back and slapped his chest. “What’s her name?”
“I am appalled at this blind accusation.”
“Whatever. But Jax has had a shitty few weeks. Be there for your brother. He needs to express his feelings.” She flashed me a pitying smile.
“Stop it. You know men don’t express their feelings.”
“Dr. Phil says you’ll explode if you don’t express those emotions.” She threw her hands in the air and turned towards her and Jim’s house. “Austin, make him talk to you.”
“Stop!” She couldn’t walk away fast enough at that moment.
Austin yelled. “Yeah! We men don’t need to talk. We grunt and drink beer. We don’t speak about feelings and shit; come on!”
Shaking her head, she turned around to face us with the tightened jaw that portended a stern talking to when we were kids. Of course, we lost it just like when we were teenagers and she’d go nuts after we’d eaten all the snacks within an hour of her trip from the grocery store. Austin and I lucked out, ending up with her.
Daisy was married and wasn’t able to have children, which broke her heart. Her husband, Roy, was killed in a motorcycle accident, leaving her a lost soul. After pulling herself up, she got her foster care license, determined to make a difference while keeping the ranch going.
I was with Daisy for six months when the same social worker rolled up with a crying Austin in the back seat. She called us two peas in a pod as kids and partners in crime as we grew up.
Austin followed me into the barn. “Bro, why didn’t you come to the bar last night?”
“I was tired. Went to bed.”
“You missed it. The volleyball team from the university was there.” He laughed, slapping me on the back. “A real good time. Man, I was only gone for two weeks. What’s Daisy talking about? I can see you need a little Austin magic to change your mojo. Am I right, or am I right?”
Ignoring the mojo bullshit, I grabbed my tools. “Abby and I are done.”
“What? I thought things were going good.”
“We’ve been off for a little bit, but I thought we’d get through it. Then she was offered the news anchor job of her dreams in Minneapolis.”
“That sucks. So it’s just over, no long distance thing?”
“It might’ve been a possibility, but she said I should use my business degree and leave the ranch to start a new life in Minnesota with her. That being here was holding me back. We were at a fork in the road, neither of us budging, and then she just took off.”
Austin and I worked our asses off in high school and got football scholarships to Montana State, partially because we loved sports and partially because we knew Daisy would struggle with the tuition. We always wanted to learn enough to help her with the ranch.
I, through some miracle from above, earned a business degree with a minor in agriculture, but my main course of study was partying. From missing the first day of classes as a freshman—because I woke up passed out on the football field—to selling my books back early to host one hell of a party, it was a shock to all when I walked the stage for my diploma.
“Well—"
“She gave me a fucking ultimatum and then disappeared! Abby’s known for the year we’ve been together that this place is me. The thought of working between four walls is the equivalent of sticking a fork in my eye.”
How could she think I’d change? Maybe it was all the time I spent trapped in my mom’s shitty apartment before she overdosed or all the time I’ve spent outdoors, working with my hands since I’d been with Daisy, but I needed to see the horizon to be balanced.
“Okay, I get it. But are you sure you want to let her go without even trying a long-distance thing?”
“It’s over. End of story.”
“Wow, that’s pretty conclusive. It may sting, but deep down, maybe you know she just wasn’t the one.”
I headed to his truck. “I guess. I just want to settle down and eventually take in a foster kid. It’s something I had no clue I’d want to do a few years ago, but that’s where I am now.”
Austin groaned as he kicked the dirt behind me. “Buddy, your words are burning my damn ears! You’re my wingman, my ride-or-die. A family ? I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”
“Come on, you know where we both came from. I want to change someone’s life like Daisy did for us. I’m pretty sure if it wasn’t for her, I’d be in prison.” I dropped the toolbox in his truck bed and pushed his chest. “And I sure as hell know you’d be there.”
He shoved me back. We’ve always thrived on stupid, physical challenges.
A loud laugh escaped him. “I can’t help that I’m more of a badass than you!”
“I’m the badass. You’re a pussy!”
In a split second, he swept my legs before tackling me. I swiftly pinned him to the dusty ground as Daisy poked her head out the door in the distance. “You boys stop that! Leave each other alone!”
It was a thirteen-year-old flashback as we stood up, and I punched him in the stomach before he quickly got me in a headlock, yelling out to Daisy. “Yes, Mom. We’re just messing around!” He tightened his grip. “Jax is totally having fun right now.”
* * *
I ran through the car wash and vacuumed my truck before picking up the foster kid. Apparently, I do care what a tyke thinks of me.
I entered through the large doors of the Social Services building like I had four times over the past few months. I’d gotten my foster care license earlier in the year and had helped with a few kids who were in between foster homes. Apparently, the “system” looks for couples versus a single person when making a permanent placement. I was sure after Abby and I got married, we’d be a shoo-in, but that was shot to hell now.
I clearly remembered the small office on the second floor from my first time there when I was ten-years-old. The chairs had been replaced over the years, but the old brown reception desk was the same one. I ran my finger over the dark wood as I had the first time I visited and every time since.
Agnus looked up with a grin. Every time I’d laid eyes on her, she had on a blouse buttoned up to her chin, and while she was a sweet old lady, I’d seen her rip-roaring drunk in Daisy’s living room a month ago. Turns out she had a mouth like a mother-trucker and can get a little handsy to boot.
“Hello, Jax. You can go on back. Katie is ready for you.”
“Thanks, Agnus.” I walked past her, a bit of queasiness in my gut as she took a long look at my ass and giggled quietly. WTF, Agnus? I’ve known you since I was ten!
I flew into Katie Loradam’s office while knocking over a chair and tripping my way into the room to get my backside out of Agnus’s view. Katie is a petite woman with big brown eyes who has the gift of making everyone around her feel calm. My eyes fell on the brown-haired boy in a chair next to her, who burst into laughter when the chair hit the wall.
“That’s one way to break the ice.” They both stood up. “Jax, this is Grant. He just had a birthday and is now the ripe old age of seven.”
I leaned down and extended my hand. “Good to meet you, Grant.”
He shook my hand. “You too, Mr. Jax.”
“I was telling Grant that you live on a ranch with horses.”
“It’s true.”
A shy grin made its way across his face. “I’ve never been to a ranch.”
“Is that so? Anything you’d want to do out in the country?”
“I’d like to ride a horse and see a cow poop.”
“Well, you’ve come to the right man, Grant.”
“Like I told Daisy, I’ll be by the house to pick him up around nine tomorrow morning. His foster mother is having Lasik this afternoon, and since her husband is out of town, she didn’t know how her eyes would be tonight. I suggested he stay with you because you’re amazing.”
“Sounds good. Grant, are you ready to have some fun with a funny guy?”
“You don’t look funny.”
I pretended to exit the office but instead ran into the wall and let out a chuckle. “We’d better get going before this office is the death of me.”
A few minutes later, we headed down the sidewalk with Grant looking up at me with every step.
“I hope I’m as big as you when I grow up.”
I grabbed him by the waist and popped him up on my shoulders. “Why wait?”
“Yay! I’m big!”
“Does the big guy want to get some ice cream at Ted and Wally’s?”
“Yes!”
We strolled down the sidewalk, and I was instantly reminded that this was a small town as glances and whispers were all around me; like a zipping grass fire, word was out about my and Abby’s demise.
The little bell above the door rang out as we entered the ice cream parlor that had been in the same spot for decades. As we reached the counter, Pam Bolden, who I’d graduated with, flashed me a smile. Always hot and was always dating someone back in the day.
“Hello, boys. What can I get you today?”
I pulled Grant from my shoulders, and he pressed his nose against the glass, his big eyes peering hungrily at the many flavors in front of him.
“I don’t know yet. Let me think.”
“Okay, sweetie. We’ll give you a few minutes.” Her gaze returned to me. “I heard about you and Abby breaking up. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Life goes on.”
“Why don’t I stop by this week and bring you some of my muffins.” Her eyes sparkled. “I’m the best baker around. I’m sure I can cheer you up.”
I focused on keeping my eyes north of her low-cut shirt, revealing cleavage any man would appreciate.
“I’d like your muffins.” She jumped and looked at Grant, while I bit my cheeks to keep from busting a gut. “I’d like chocolate chip ice cream, too.”
Pam was a little flustered as she scooped his order onto a cone.
As we drove down the winding road toward the ranch, I found out Grant was a chatterbox.
“So, your family owns all this land?
“Yes, sir, as far as your eyes can see.”
“The trees too?”
“Yup.”
He pointed. “What about that little stream over there?”
“You got it. Like I said, everything you see.”
He let out a squeal as we rolled up to my cabin. “This is so cool!”
We headed up the three stairs to the large porch, and he immediately hopped on the porch swing. “Can I sleep out here?”
I laughed. “On the porch swing?”
“Yeah.”
“Only if you want the raccoons to join you.”
He grimaced. “Really?”
I pushed open the front door. “Yes, lots of wildlife around here.”
“Maybe I should sleep inside.”
“Good idea, bro.”
We cruised inside, and he bounced through every room like a ping-pong ball, his hands touching everything he passed. I kept thinking how something like that would drive Abby nuts. She was wound up tight about almost everything. Sometimes I’d watched her babble on about something, and ask myself if it’d be rude to toss a Xanax in her mouth while she was talking. Maybe there were some red flags about the relationship I’d ignored.
I’d spent months creating the floor plan for my place with my cousin Ashton who’s an architect. Almost like I was hatching the perfect plan for a faceless family I would have in the future. I didn’t get it, but I had to have every detail just perfect. Long front porch, big windows to let the sunlight shine, a stone fireplace, and wood floors, so I never had to worry about tracking mud in on carpet. The kitchen wasn’t huge but a good size with a center island and a large window with views of the pasture in the back. I upgraded the appliances because I’d become addicted to the cooking channel like a puss, but had become a pretty damn good chef through it all.
“How about we set you up in the room with the blue bed and Spiderman pillows, okay?”
“Who lives here with you?”
“Just me. My brother helped me build it a few years ago. Do you like it?”
“Yes, but why are there three bedrooms if it’s just you?”
A thump in my chest. While I had wanted Abby to move in, she’d been stuck in a lease for her apartment in town. Thank God she was. Yes, a breakup, but none of her stuff lying around to remind me of the wasted time on a relationship that swirled down the drain.
“Someday, I hope to have a family, maybe a boy like you. So, when I designed it, I wanted to make sure I had plenty of room.”
“Why doesn’t your brother live with you?”
Did this kid ever pipe down? “He has his own cabin close by. You see, when we were kids, just like you, we had a great foster mom who adopted us. She owns this land, and she wanted Austin and me to build our own houses close by since we work the ranch.”
His face lit up. “I hope my foster mom adopts me, we talked about it and she said if we do we’ll have a party when it’s done.
“That’s amazing. Can I come?”
His eyes grew large. “Yes! But I think you should bring snacks. Can you bring Ho-Ho’s to the party? They’re my favorite.”
I nodded and laughed. I’d been known to bring a few self-proclaimed ho-hos to some parties in the past, so it felt right. “You got it, big guy.”
A bit later, we’d done a jog/sprint down to the barn. I saddled up my favorite horse, Lola, before Austin pulled up in his truck and got out just as I was helping Grant get in the saddle.
“Who’s this pip-squeak?” Austin gave him a wink.
“This is Grant. He’s hanging out with me tonight.”
“Hey, I’m not a pip-squeak.”
“Sure, you are. You’re like a foot tall or some shit.”
“Bro, watch your mouth.” He had no sensor.
“Hey, I swear because I care.”
Grant cleared his throat. “For your information, I’m fifty-one inches tall, not one foot or some shit.”
Austin chuckled.
“Grant, we do not curse; it’s wrong.” I sounded like a freaking grown-up. Score.
Grant pointed. “But he did.”
“Well, Austin’s usually the wrongest of all wrongs, so don’t listen to him.”
I hopped on behind Grant.
Austin leaned against the fence. “Where are you both off to?”
“Mr. Jax is taking me to see a cow poop.”
Austin doubled over with laughter. “Classic. When you’re done checking out the crap, Jim did some grilling and wants you both to join us.” Austin looked at Grant. “You like Bar-B-Q, dude?”
“Yes!” Grant clapped excitedly.
Austin raised a brow. “Well, maybe you’re okay after all. I was beginning to wonder about you.”
Dinner at Daisy and Jim’s was a hit, as I knew it would be.
Once back at my place, I tucked in my new little friend before cracking the door, leaving the hall light on, and running up and down the stairs for water and snacks five times. Turns out I’m a sucker for a cute kid.
Once I was sure he was sawing logs, I headed for my comfy leather sofa, Netflix, and a Coors Light. Somewhere between Tulsa King and New Girl, I conked out. I woke up about an hour later in the dimly lit living room to find little Grant asleep next to me.
* * *
Once the sun woke, I rolled into the kitchen and whipped up a breakfast I was certain Grant would like before he appeared at the table.
“This is the bestest French toast ever!” he squealed between bites. But I was already aware of my mystical French toast and the delight it brought others. Not Abby, though, she wouldn’t risk unnecessary calories. She worried about extra pounds hopping on her because she was on the news. A local station here, but now she was off to Minneapolis.
One quick ride on Lola and Katie arrived to take Grant back to his foster family. There was a tug in my gut when a huge grin made its way across his lips, and he waved and blew me a kiss. I shuffled back into the house that was suddenly too quiet before scrubbing the skillet when Daisy blew in the door.
“Good morning, Jax.”
She shook her head, a wide grin splitting her face from ear to ear. “You’ll never believe what’s happened! It’s fantastic!”
“A distant family member croaked and left us a butt-load of cash? The scratch tickets paid off?”
“Even better!” She leaned against the center island, rolled up a piece of French toast, and dipped it in the rich syrup. “Jim called and said Madison is coming! Zoey is flying in before the wedding, but Madison will be here tomorrow. We’ll have almost a full week with her before the wedding.” She jumped up and down with genuine glee. “She’s had a hard time reconnecting with Jim, so the extra time with her dad will be a good thing. And the fact that she’s changed her mind and is coming to the wedding is amazing!”
I flashed an insincere smile, trying not to look irritated. It was none of my business, butfrom everything I’d heard about Madison she sounded like a piece of work, to put it as kindly as possible.
Zoey had visited last year, and she and Jim kind of started a new relationship, but Madison wouldn’t come. Daisy made sure she, Austin, and I were out of town on business so Zoey and Jim could have some undistracted time together.
Zoey told Jim Madison wasn’t ‘ready.’ Since when does life revolve around being ‘ready’? Was I ready to start mending fences today and training a horse who was a pain in my ass? Hell, no. But I do what fuckin’ needs to be done, and you know what? It’s hard work, but you pull yourself up by the bootstraps and get it done. I guess that’s not true for a spoiled party girl. Had she ever had to put in a full day’s work?
To top it off, she initially sent back a “decline” response to her father’s wedding. No phone call or message, just the equivalent of a middle finger. WTF, right?
“Here’s the thing, she’s flying in tomorrow, and Jim won’t be back from South Dakota until after her plane lands, and I have a mammogram I really don’t want to reschedule, but I could if I had to. Unleeess… Would you be able to pick her up?”
I heard myself groan, but after the breast cancer Daisy had ten years ago, I sure as hell didn’t want her to reschedule anything. But only a rich, self-centered chick would book a flight with a one-day notice, not even considering other people’s schedules.
“Don’t reschedule. I’ll do it.”
“Thank you, baby.” She continued working on her French toast.
I’d checked out Madison on social media. She had like a zillion followers and was always throwing parties and rubbing elbows with celebrities and pro-athletes while posting it all over the place.
Sure, she was gorgeous, but I knew without even knowing her she was one of those women who were like heartburn—painfully bugging the shit out of you long after she was gone. Someone who would suck the energy out of people just trying to get what she wants.
“Now, get that look off your face.” Daisy raised her brow. “She was young when her parents divorced, and Jim moved to Montana. A blessing for us, as he was a wonderful father figure for you and Austin, but she feels like she missed out on that.”
“I heard him practically begging those girls to come when we all were teenagers, but they always said no. Nobody’s fault but her own if she doesn’t know him.”
Casting a side eyed glance at me, she took her plate to the sink. “You never did anything you regretted as a teenager? Is that right, Jax?”
She got me; I had a list as long as my arm of teenage regrets and her eyes reminded me that she knew it.
“We will be welcoming, correct?” She’d always been able to pull that stern tone topped off with a smile, and itworked again.
“Yes, ma’am.”