Chapter 4
CHAPTER 4
JAX
P reparing for winter on the ranch was a long haul. The land, cattle, horses, and the cold weather on the way, made October a long month. After hours of busting my ass, I headed home for a hot shower and a night of relaxing, which all went to hell when Austin shot through the door just as I was plopping down on the couch.
“Nope, not tonight.” He grabbed the remote from my hand.
“Listen, I know that’s what you hear from the ladies, but if you get the hell out of here, you might have a chance at something.” I settled deeper into the couch, putting my hands behind my head, ready to resume solitude.
“You are definitely not funny. I’m taking you to Stella’s Bar and Grill for beers and burgers.”
“Is this a date?”
“Will you shut up, dirtbag?” He laughed at his own line.
“That’s not even funny.”
* * *
We pulled up to Stella’s, and I had to admit I was looking forward to an award-winning burger with my bro. That was when I noticed the sign above the door about dating.
“What’s going on?”
“Okay, don’t be pissed, but I signed us up for “Beer Dating.”
I turned back towards his truck. “I’m not doing this.”
He grabbed my arm. “Dude, it’s like speed dating but just a beer. One beer, hot chicks, it’ll be fun.”
“Why in the fuck would you want to do this?”
“It’s sponsored by the volleyball team I hung out with last night, and I promised.”
“Austin—"
“I’m sorry, there were like five of them in my hot tub last night, and all I was seeing was boobs, and somehow committed myself, well, us, I guess.” He put his hands on my shoulders. “It’s three girls and three beers, that’s it, easy peasy. I signed you up with three pretty gals.”
Down the street, coming straight for us, was a hot pink moped with a helmeted lady driving, not a common sight.
“Dude, that’s Angie Cope. I met her last night, and she’s your first beer. You’ll love her. Super chill.”
Austin waved to her as she approached the parking stall in front of us. She let go of one handlebar to wave back, losing control of the moped, which swerved violently and whipped around for a few seconds before crashing on its side.
“Shit!” Austin and I stood frozen for a second before rushing to her, but she immediately came to her feet, grabbed the moped, and looked at us before hopping back on and zipping away down Millard Avenue.
“Son of a bitch; did that really just happen?” Austin scratched his head. “Ya think she’s okay?”
I shrugged as she disappeared out of sight.
He slapped me on the back. “Alrighty then, looks like you now have two beer dates.”
The place was packed, so I stood at the bar chugging my first beer, regretting ever letting Austin get me off the damn couch when a woman in tight jeans and an even tighter shirt hopped up on a table with a microphone in her hand.
“Hey, everybody! Thanks for coming out to support the volleyball team’s fall fundraising event. Here’s how this is going to go down. All you handsome fellas take a seat at one of the tables, and us ladies will do the rest.” She laughed as cheers erupted. “Y’all like the ladies doing the work, huh?” She hooted like a true cowgirl. “Okay, one beer, and then we move to the next table, ladies. Do we understand?”
I sat at a table and was pleasantly surprised when a very pretty redhead sat across from me. Maybe this didn’t totally suck.
“Hi, I’m Stacey. I saw you with Austin. You’re Jax, right?”
“That’s me. Nice to meet you.”
A waitress placed two beers in front of us.
“These things are a little weird, huh?” She shook her head.
“I agree. I was kind of dreading this, but, well, you seem pretty cool.”
“You mean I’m not a freak, right?” Taking a long drink, she winked conspiratorially. “Austin said you both live on a ranch, right?”
“Yes. You’re on the volleyball team, I assume?”
“Yes, I love it.”
“What’s your major?”
“Chemical Engineering.”
“Pretty and smart.” I took a drink. “Can I ask you something? Why are you single? I mean, do you not date often?”
A giggle snuck out. “I don’t have a lot of luck with dating. I had a blind date last weekend, and we had a really nice time, but he didn’t call or text. I mean, we had a connection, but he just never called.”
“Bummer.”
“Yes. I don’t know why guys never want to call me back. Why do you think he didn’t call me back? I mean, I’m like super fun.” Her eye contact was intense for our two-minute relationship.
“I don’t know. You seem very nice and all.”
I jumped when her hand hit the table. “I know! Because I’m totally nice and just looking for the right man. Don’t tell anyone, but I already bought my wedding dress. It’s perfect, and now I just need the perfect guy.”
How the fuck do I get out of here?
“I just don’t get it. Have I done anything here today that would make you not call me?”
I was scoping the room for Austin. “Uh, no, that dude must be nuts.”
She nodded. “I mean, I’m pretty, right? And I have new boobs, so I know it’s not that. I just don’t know why guys won’t call me back. Maybe they just think I’m too good to be true or something? What do you think? Why do guys not call me back?” She leaned in close. “Is it my eyes? Do they scream untrustworthy?”
They were screaming batshit crazy at me. I chugged my beer as I shook my head again and prayed this thing was about over. Thank God there was a buzzer, and I waved her out of my life forever, realizing maybe my empty house wasn’t a bad thing after all.
I spotted Austin across the room. He gave me a thumbs up. I flipped him the bird and made a mental note to beat the shit out of him later.
I held my breath as another pretty gal took the seat across from me. She was petite with long blond hair and brown eyes with a shy smile.
“Hi, I’m Lola.”
“No shit, I have a horse named Lola!”
She wrinkled her nose. “Great.”
“I mean, Lola is a beautiful name.”
“Thank you.” She looked tense.
“How are you?”
“I’m okay. I was diagnosed with an ulcer this morning.”
“That sucks. Shouldn’t you be home in bed or something?”
She laughed. “No, I feel fine, but I started this medication today, and it’s kind of messing with my stomach a little.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Do you want some ginger ale or something?”
“I’ll be fine.” Then it happened: the biggest, juiciest belch I’d heard in years came out of her. I sat speechless as she covered her mouth.
“I’m so sorry. The meds are making me all belchy. I’m so embarrassed.”
I laughed. “Don’t be; it’s all good.” I forced a burp out of me, and she giggled. “See?” Classy, Jax .
“So, you’re Austin’s brother?”
I nodded.
“I met him last night. He’s something else.”
“You can say that again.”
She giggled in agreement until another man-burp shot out of the petite little lady in front of me. “Oh no.”
“You’re actually making this a lot more fun than I expected.”
More laughter at the same time a loud air biscuit escaped her backside. “What the hell! Damn medicine!”
A second later, the odor hit the table. Her eyes were the size of softballs, and her head was shaking like she wanted to erase what just happened from her mind. “I can’t believe this.” She swallowed hard. “The fart fooled me.”
“You need to go?”
She nodded, stood up, and grabbed her purse from the floor before turning to me. “If we ever meet again, let’s pretend we don’t know one another, okay?”
I nodded back. “Got it.”
She scurried out the front door as I downed my beer and prepared to kill Austin, who was walking towards me.
“How’s it going?”
“Good, real good. Yeah, my date shit her pants and left.”
He pulled me in for a hug, laughing his ass off.
An hour later, Austin dropped me off at my place. I wandered around for a bit, feeling restless, before doing two shots of Jack Daniels, which I hoped would help me get to sleep. Tomorrow was a new day, and it had to get better than the night of beer dating. I decided I just needed to not focus on women for a while and pull my shit together.