Chapter 18
ELIZA
After spending most of my day with Jesse, I was finally back in my bedroom, which was suddenly looking like it had been ransacked by extremely well-dressed burglars. Suitcases sat open on the bed and covered half the floor.
Miriam and Stella moved around with alarming efficiency, folding garments into neat piles before deciding which ones deserved to travel to Chicago with me and which ones, apparently, did not meet the mysterious standards they’d established in their heads.
“You cannot possibly take this many coats,” Stella said, holding up a camel wool jacket I loved.
“Chicago is cold,” I protested lamely.
Having been my lady’s maid for years, she regularly voiced her honest opinions and that was precisely what she did when she put the jacket in the stay pile. “It won’t be that cold in September, my lady.”
“It could be.”
“It won’t be,” she argued. “Not cold enough to justify all this, anyhow.”
Miriam didn’t even look up from the trunk she was organizing. “She’s not wrong, Eliza. You’ll be back in the summer. Perhaps sooner. You can collect more clothes when you return.”
Eliza.
It was rare that she referred to me by the nickname. Rare enough that it really drove home how emotional they were about the fact that I was leaving. I sighed and watched another armful of my belongings disappear into a suitcase.
Tonight, we were packing and heading to London, and tomorrow, Jesse and I would be off to Chicago. To start a whole new life. It felt entirely surreal, like I was watching someone else’s life about to change entirely in the blink of an eye.
Stella moved to the wardrobe and started selecting dresses, snapping me out of my melancholy with brisk authority. She laid a red silk gown across the bed. “You have to take this one.”
“And this.” Miriam added another to the pile, then reached back into the closet. “Oh, and definitely this one.”
My eyebrows twitched as I watched them. “I won’t be attending the opera every night. Surely, I don’t need so many gowns.”
Miriam glanced up at me, an unusually gentle smile crinkling the corners of her eyes. “You never know.”
“I sincerely doubt it.”
“Even so, it’s better to be prepared.”
Finally giving in, I sank onto the edge of the bed and tried not to think too hard about what was happening. Because if I did, I would absolutely start crying, and once I started, I might never stop. I was already feeling homesick and I hadn’t even left yet.
It was ridiculous. Too ridiculous to voice the thought, so I simply looked around, mentally cataloguing every tiny detail of the room so I could revisit it in my brain any time the longing became too much.
Holly and Maeve lay sprawled across the rug nearby, watching the chaos with mild interest. They would be staying here, perfectly happy with George, the groundskeeper.
Whenever I wasn’t here, they spent most of their time trailing after him anyway. Miriam had told me once that he spoiled them shamelessly, so they probably preferred him. But even though I knew they would be just fine, I hated leaving them behind.
Stella paused her rummaging around in my dresser and looked up. “Oh! I almost forgot the blue evening gloves. I’ll be right back.”
She hurried out of the room before I could tell her that I probably wouldn’t need evening gloves.
Miriam continued folding the blouse she’d been busy with until the door clicked shut behind Stella.
Once we were alone, she laid the blouse down carefully on top of the others in the suitcase and looked up at me.
“I think you’re making the right decision,” she said quietly. “I know it’s going to be difficult, but this is what’s right for you and for the estate, Eliza.”
My throat tightened, emotion rising from deep within. “Thank you. I certainly hope so, but that remains to be seen.”
Miriam straightened, peering at me over the top of the glasses perched at the very end of her nose. “I’ve worked for this family since your father was a teenager.”
“I know.” I smiled. “You have a frightening amount of institutional knowledge.”
She didn’t acknowledge what I’d said, simply looking at me with what appeared to be tears forming in her eyes.
“I know a true Roderick when I see one, Eliza, and you are the only one of your sisters who truly belongs to this place. If you’d been born a boy, you would’ve been the next Earl. I’m absolutely certain of it.”
Tears pricked behind my eyes as she fell silent and I blinked quickly, forcing them back. “Well, that would’ve been wonderful, but my life will be in Chicago from now on. Daddy will simply have to do his best here without me.”
She shrugged. “You might just be surprised.”
I frowned. “Surprised about what?”
“Jesse,” she said lightly, picking up a jumper and starting to fold it. “He seems rather fond of the estate.”
“It’s only been a few days.”
“Yes, but he’s spent most of those days helping with work that wasn’t his responsibility,” she said. “He may not want to send his wife back alone every summer.”
Before I could ask her what she meant by that, she tucked the folded sweater in the suitcase and zipped it up, the first to be completely full. “In any event, we have far more pressing matters to discuss. The wedding, for example.”
I groaned. “Don’t remind me.”
She picked up a garment bag and set it neatly beside the others. “Your father has already hired the planner.”
“Of course.” It shouldn’t have been a surprise. My father was extremely keen on this wedding happening sooner rather than later so that I could get down to the business of producing an heir.
“She helped coordinate the wedding of Prince William and Katherine,” Miriam said conversationally. “I’ve heard wonderful things about her.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “What?”
She didn’t even look up from fastening the final clasp on one of my suitcases. “Oh, not to worry. She wasn’t the planner. Simply one of them.”
“That still seems excessive.”
“It’s a royal affair.”
“Yes, but I’m not technically royal.”
“You are close enough to warrant the services of someone who’s been tied to such a grand event before,” Miriam said firmly. “Besides, it’s done.”
“I still feel like that’s not a real category.” I lifted my hands to my temples and absently started rubbing them. “Where exactly does Father think this wedding is happening?”
She smoothed a hand over the top of the suitcase. “In London, of course.”
My head snapped up. “London?”
“Yes,” she said, matter of fact. “At the town house.”
My eyes widened. “No.”
She paused halfway through scanning my wardrobe to make sure we had everything we needed, turning back to me. “No?”
“No.”
“Eliza—”
“I’m not getting married in London.”
One of her silver eyebrows swept all the way up. “Where exactly would you like to get married, then?”
I gestured out the window toward the rolling hills of the estate. “Right here. If the wedding is to take place in England, I want it to be here.”
“At the castle?”
“Yes.”
Miriam considered it for just a moment before she looked back at me. “That would be rather complicated.”
“It would be perfect.”
“Your father might disagree.”
“He might, but it’s my wedding.” I made a mental note to tell him that we had to relocate a royal-scale wedding to a countryside estate with minimal warning, but before I could ask Miriam for her advice, the bedroom door opened.
Several very strong footmen appeared, who’d clearly been recruited for the task of moving my luggage. Jesse walked in behind them, stepping into the room with a casual ease that made it look like he belonged here. With me.
“Hey,” he said, sliding his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I’m afraid it’s time. Are you ready?”
My heart started pounding, but I nodded and rose from the bed, looking around my room one last time, at the tall windows that had provided me with a view of the green hills every morning for as long as I’d been alive. The shelves of books I’d been collecting ever since I’d learned how to read.
Every corner of this place was quietly familiar, notches of my history written in every stone. I’d lived here my entire life and suddenly I was leaving.
Holly stood, trotting over when she sensed movement. Maeve followed a second later. I crouched down and wrapped my arms around them both.
“You two behave yourselves,” I murmured. Holly licked my chin in response and Maeve leaned against my shoulder like a furry paperweight. “You’ll see George every day and I’ll be back before you know it.”
Jesse stood quietly beside me, and when I finally stood again, he offered a small smile. “Ready?”
No.
“Of course,” I said, watching my suitcases disappear down the hall with truly impressive speed.
Jesse gave me a few minutes to say goodbye to Miriam and Stella, following the footmen out of the room so I had some privacy.
I hugged them both, but quickly, letting go before the tears inevitably started falling.
My heart was breaking when I turned my back on them and hurried out of the room to join Jesse downstairs.
Just a few minutes later, we were outside, the night air cool and damp from the steady rain. A car was already waiting, gleaming under the lamps at the front of the drive.
“Well, London awaits,” he said as we approached the car.
A driver appeared and opened the back door.
I nodded, climbing in when prompted to do so and leaning back against the buttery soft leather seat.
The engine started, and within seconds, the wheels were turning.
Doing my best to keep from sobbing, I simply turned toward the windows and looked out into the night.
Jesse and I sat together in the backseat, the castle eventually fading behind us. The fields followed, then winding roads. All the while, I stared out the window, watching familiar landmarks disappear into darkness.
“Do you want to know something?” Jesse said softly once we’d passed through the village.
I finally turned to face him, his sharp features thrown mostly into shadow but his eyes somehow still soft. “What’s that?”
“I never want you to feel like you can’t come back here. This is your home, Eliza. As my wife, I’ll make sure you can come here whenever you want.”
He sounded completely serious. As far as I could tell, he wasn’t joking or humoring me. He actually meant it.
“Thank you,” I said quietly, turning back to the window when I felt tears welling on my eyelids. “I really appreciate that.”
As we kept driving, the darkness outside slowly changed. Distant lights appeared. Villages became towns and the roadways grew wider. Then the first signs of the city were upon us.
Jesse shifted slightly beside me, reaching for my hand and lacing his fingers gently with mine. I didn’t pull away. Tomorrow morning, we would board a flight together. I would have a short amount of time to acclimate to Chicago before we returned for the wedding. And then… What then?
But I couldn’t let myself think that far ahead.
Instead, my mind spun through everything that needed managing in my absence. The tours. The production schedule. The farms. Miriam. The staff. The endless list of details that kept the estate running.
I must’ve looked worried because Jesse gave my hand a light squeeze. When I glanced at him, he was already looking at me and he smiled as our eyes met, but he didn’t say anything.
Somehow, in that moment of silent connection, I felt just a little bit better. Since this whole thing started, Jesse had done nothing but take care of me. Surely, he would be true to his word about me coming back here whenever I wanted.
This wasn’t really a goodbye. It was simply a very final-feeling See You Later.