Chapter 19
WILL
The Roderick house in London looked exactly like the kind of place where several centuries of aristocrats had lived. It had a stone facade with iron gates and windows that had survived revolutions, wars, fires, and everything else history had thrown at it without a scratch.
It was stately but quiet, the street dark but for the orange glow of the streetlights when we pulled up. We were nowhere near the interesting parts of London here, which I suspected Jesse would have a thing or two to say about.
The staff had clearly been warned we were coming because they descended on the car as soon as it stopped, leading us inside and taking our coats while they tended to our overnight bags. An older woman waved us toward a dining room with all the warmth of a blizzard.
“Dinner is served,” she said sternly. “Right this way, if you please.”
Eliza let out a quiet sigh but fell into step beside me, both of us following her to a full spread on the table. It kind of looked like they were welcoming people who’d just returned from a month-long expedition in the wild.
“Children!” James was waiting for us in the dining room, grinning as we walked in.
Eliza took one look at the food, then made it about ten seconds after hugging him hello before she bowed out. “I’m sorry. If you don’t mind, I think I’m just going to turn in. I’m exhausted from the drive.”
The drive that had taken less than two hours.
James nodded politely, but the look on his face said he also understood basic math. “Of course, darling. Get some rest and we’ll see you in the morning.”
She offered him a small smile, slipping out of the room before anyone could stop her or even offer to bring some food to her room. As I watched her go, I could tell something was off. She wasn’t being obvious or dramatic about it, but I could feel it sitting just beneath the surface.
James poured himself a drink with the practiced ease of someone who’d done it every night for the last forty years. He glanced over at me. “Scotch?”
“Sure.”
He handed me a glass and we waited while the staff quietly cleared a few unnecessary dishes before we sat down. Once we were finally alone, I met his gaze across the table and got straight to it. Eliza clearly wasn’t okay, which meant I had to get to her but not before I’d had this conversation.
“Well, here we are,” I said. “While I’ve got you and before Eliza and I head to the States tomorrow, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask.”
James arched his eyebrows at me. “Oh?”
“The castle,” I said. “You’re going to keep it in good shape while Eliza’s gone, right?”
“Of course.” He frowned. “It’s in experienced hands.”
“That’s good. She’s worried about it. I’d like to be able to set her mind at ease.”
James let out a long, slow exhale, smiling slightly. “She’s always worried about it, but she needn’t be. It’s not her concern.”
“She truly cares about the estate,” I countered easily. “That’s why she worries about it. Whether or not she needs to.”
“That’s true, but I can assure you that it will be well managed in her absence,” he said. “We have a good team there. They’ll take care of it.”
I nodded and took a sip of the scotch, surprised by how smooth it was.
Clearly, it was expensive. For a guy who had such a costly estate to maintain, he sure liked the good stuff.
It made me wonder why Eliza had to work so hard to cover all those expenses while he did whatever it was he did here in London and could afford to drink like this, but I didn’t ask.
“About the wedding,” I said instead, moving to the final item on my mental agenda. “I’ve heard you want to have it here in the city.”
“Yes?”
“I think it should be at the estate.”
James leaned back slightly. Surprise registered on his features as he blinked a few times in rapid succession. “That would be unconventional. London offers certain social advantages that would be impossible to replicate at the castle.”
“Sure, but I don’t care about social advantages.”
He paused for a beat. “The location alone would make press coverage difficult. That’s not to mention the logistics surrounding accommodating the entire guest list.”
“Yeah, I don’t care about any of that either.”
James took another sip of his drink and swallowed before he finally spoke again. “What exactly do you care about, then, Jesse?”
I shrugged. “The only thing that’s important to me is what Eliza wants.”
The words were simple but honest. Jesse was going to kill me for this too, but I was dangerously close to just not giving a fuck anymore. If he’d wanted a say, he should’ve been here, but he wasn’t, so that meant I could handle this however I wanted.
James didn’t respond for a long minute, and suspiciously, it kind of looked like he was fighting a smile, but then he nodded. “I’ll consider it.”
I leaned back. In that case, my work here is done.
“Aaron brought me something to eat before we left the estate,” I said, then finished the scotch and set the glass aside. “If you’ll excuse me.”
“Of course.”
Without offering to stay while he ate, I left the dining room and asked a passing footman which room Eliza had taken.
It still took me a while to find it, even with directions.
It seemed the Rodericks had an affinity for houses with more rooms than some hotels, but eventually, I found the right door.
It stood slightly open, but I still rapped my knuckles lightly across the wood before I stepped inside. “Knock. Knock.”
Eliza stood near the window, not turning as I walked in. “Hi.”
The curtains were pulled back just enough for her to look out at the dark street below and the main lights in the room were off. Only a small lamp cast a pool of light over a chair and side table.
For another moment, she just stood there quietly, looking a lot like someone who was trying not to cry. I leaned against the doorframe, not really knowing whether I would be welcome further inside the room.
“You know,” I said gently. “Most people who claim exhaustion from a two-hour drive at least pretend to yawn.”
She finally turned, but even from across the room, I could see that she was struggling—and that she was very, very tired. I just doubted that her exhaustion was from the drive. That made the decision for me. I was going in, whether I was welcome or not. She could always tell me to leave.
Pushing away from the doorframe, I stepped inside and closed the door quietly behind me. Something about the way she was standing there, still, silent, and staring wistfully out at a city that wasn’t home, made my chest ache. I couldn’t afford to think about why right now.
“You don’t have to pretend with me, Eliza,” I said. “You’re not okay.”
Her brow furrowed. “I’m not pretending.”
“You told your father you were tired from the drive.”
She shrugged, but even that lacked energy. “I am tired.”
“Yeah, but the drive was only a couple hours and neither of us were even behind the wheel.”
“That’s still a drive.”
I nodded thoughtfully. “Right. Of course. You’re right. It was devastatingly exhausting. I’m dead on my feet.”
The corners of her mouth twitched just slightly. I smiled and crossed the room, only stopping once I was a few feet away from her. “There’s something you should know before we leave here, Eliza.”
She looked up at me, wary but curious. “That I can go back anytime I please?”
“Sure, but also that going to Chicago and meeting my family, all of it, it’s not just because of some tradition Alex dreamed up.”
“Yes, I know. I need time to settle in before the wedding.”
“No, it’s not just that either,” I said. “It’s to give you a break, Eliza.”
She frowned. Deeply. “A break?”
“Yeah.”
She arched an eyebrow at me like the concept was wildly offensive. “Alright, well, thank you, but I don’t take breaks.”
“I noticed.” She opened her mouth, presumably to argue, but I cut her off before she could get there. “You’re exhausted.”
She scoffed softly. “I’m fine.”
“You’re exhausted,” I repeated. “You run that estate like a one-woman government. You manage absolutely everything all by yourself and you have for a long time.”
“Yes, but it’s my responsibility,” she said stiffly.
“No, it’s not,” I said, giving it to her straight. “It’s your dad’s responsibility that you’ve taken upon yourself.”
She crossed her arms, her chin coming up in defiance. “What’s your point?”
“My point is that while everyone else is obsessing over wedding details, you’ll get to breathe for a little while.” I paused for a beat, but when she didn’t say anything, I kept going. “Look, I’ll level with you here.”
“Level with me?”
“Yeah. It means—”
“I know what it means, Jesse.”
“Fine.” I looked deep into her eyes, trying to remember that none of this was my role. None of these were my promises to make, and yet, I was speaking to her right now as myself, as Will. “I want to take care of you for a bit.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “That’s not necessary.”
“It absolutely is.”
She looked back at me like she didn’t know whether to laugh, argue, slap me, or all three. “Where is this coming from?”
“From me,” I said, totally serious and completely honest. More so than I probably had been since that day I’d seen her again at my dad’s house.
“When we get to Chicago, I’m going to send you to a day spa.
A fancy one. The kind where they make you wear those ridiculous white robes and give you cucumber water. ”
Her lips twitched again, but I wasn’t done yet.
“I want you to be able sleep in and not have to worry about a to-do list a mile long that rests entirely on your shoulders. I want to take you out to dinner while you know that everything that needs to be done three thousand miles away is being done for you.”
“That sounds unlikely.”
“No, because I’ve already spoken to everyone at the castle.”
Her eyes flew wide open. “You did what?”
“I talked to Miriam. George. Half the staff, actually.”
“You… why?”
“Because someone needed to be able to reassure you that the world wouldn’t collapse without you.
Everyone knows exactly what to do while you’re gone and that you’re only a phone call away if they desperately need you.
I also spoke to your father and he confirmed it.
They’ll take care of the place while you’re gone. You have my word and theirs.”
Her expression softened slightly, her eyes lowering slowly to the floor. I saw her chest rise on a deep inhale and then deflate again. When she looked back up, she still just seemed so damn tired that I couldn’t take it anymore.
This didn’t look like the kind of tired that came from missing a few hours of sleep last night. It seemed deeper, like the kind of tired that came from carrying too much for too long.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I was moving toward her, closing the distance between us and catching her face in my hands. I knew damn well that this was my brother’s future wife, but I couldn’t stand seeing her so tired and so stressed.
In this moment, I wasn’t Jesse. I was Will and she was my perfect match. Not my twin brother’s, but mine. So I stepped forward and kissed her soundly, not just a polite little performance at the dinner table, but a real kiss, deep, and hot, and fucking meaningful.
Because she should be mine and I wanted her to know it. My hand slid to her waist while the other brushed lightly along her jaw, tilting her face up toward mine.
For a second, a small, reckless part of me wished she’d say my name. Not Jesse’s, but mine. I knew better, though, and I’d take what I could get. When I eventually pulled away, the air between us was charged and heavy.
Eliza hesitated for just a beat. Then she leaned forward and kissed me back, and I forgot all about Jesse, the arrangement, and even that she would never be mine.
Right now, it was just me and her and I was damn sure going to take the opportunity to kiss her the way I’d been wanting to since the very first time I’d met her.