Chapter 8
HEKLA
Belenus tended to me, listened to my raging, then held my hand when I finally broke down into spiraling sobs. The false heat drained me, wore me down into a chaotic mess of emotions. I knew I had to recover my strength to defend my place as Belenus’s rightful, true mate, and he soon left me to plan his strategy. It was a colossal relief that he was taking it as seriously as a mate should.
My maids helped bathe and feed me, then two of them set up cots so they could keep watch overnight. I stared at the shadows of the guards on the balcony as I tried to sleep. Every single time I recalled what the queen had said, I became sick to my stomach from stress. What would these guards think about the situation? Would they sympathize or were they so loyal to the queen they wouldn’t dare stray from her stance?
The folk fae whose smell reminded me of the sea and its aquatic dwellers stirred and came to my bedside. I hadn’t memorized my maids’ names yet… I’d have to do so soon. I was just too overwhelmed to add more in formation to my mind. Eventide could remind me, but she’d been quiet through the false heat and especially after receiving the bad news of Belenus’s new engagement.
The fae asked for permission to sing me to sleep, and I allowed it, knowing that her magic could force me into a slumber. I desperately needed it. I doubted resting was possible without her help.
·
I woke to pain on one of my earlobes and snapped my eyes open to find the mac-talla waddling off my bed. Did he just bond with me? Why’d he run off? I groggily felt my ear, noticed the wet punctures, and scented the metallic tang of blood. As my sleepy mind cleared, I realized the creature just needed more time to develop trust. I couldn’t blame him; I’d be wary after consecutive abandonment.
Abandonment… I remembered the events of yesterday and curled up, wishing for sleep to steal me away again. I just wanted to hide a little bit longer… get a little stronger… and a little braver…
Or perhaps I was just a coward, afraid to discover how strong the fae were. So, I ran from it for hours, trying to stay unconscious until my maids woke me for a bath and a change of bedsheets. I wasn’t one to require lavish attention, but their doting made me feel like we were in a small pack, and it was comforting. I was the she-alpha, my maids were my pack, and sweet Bidelia was an adopted pup—who was constantly stealing time from her duties to tend to my aloof companion, the mac-talla.
The doctors came by to administer the first dose of medication to help reduce the hormones plaguing me. I still experienced bouts of heat and arousal, but it wasn’t as bad as before, and my maids worked diligently to keep me cool. Gratitude wanted to escape my mouth, and it was a battle biting my tongue to avoid saying ‘thank you.’ I’d have to find some other way to show them… something positive. It couldn’t be gratitude .
Belenus arrived in the early evening to check on me, and I beamed, so happy to see his handsome face. And though he smiled in return, it was strained.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, fearful of more bad news.
“There’s a banquet, and the queen has invited us both…” he said, brushing his sunflower-yellow hair back into place. I knew it sounded like good news, but it definitely wasn’t.
“You think she’s planning something?” I twisted my lips and tried to sort through my own theories.
Belenus nodded but shrugged. “We don’t have to go. It’s not like she can make us,” he said. “I’ve stopped giving a shit about her wants.”
I shook my head. “That’s not how we do things,” I replied firmly, girding my loins and showing a canine. “Wolves face opposition. I will go if you go, my mate.” It was the first time I’d called him anything but his name, and he flushed, looking pleased. Though we hadn’t mated, we were fated.
Belenus gestured to the maids and nodded. “I suppose you three better get her ready. Dinner starts in an hour.” He turned to face me. “I will come by to escort you in fifty-five minutes… my female,” he said softly and rubbed my hand with his thumb. My heart may have swelled a bit, and I fought back emotional tears. Then he gave me a tender look and left me at the mercy of my maids.
I had never been so poked and prodded in my life, my maids working as ruthlessly as I’d feared. Knowing I was the vessel of the Sky Gods, they insisted that I make my debut looking as such. I was forced into a midnight-blue gown that had tiny little rocks sewn into it. I’d heard of diamonds before because of how Zorian doted on Ragna, and I guessed it was what they were. I could see why the maids had picked this dress; I certainly twinkled like the night sky.
The wispy sleeves concerned me, having the potential to slide into food while eating. I also hoped I wouldn’t trip on the long trailing cape made from the softest, silkiest, gauziest material I’d ever seen in my life. I almost thought I’d donned a length of morning fog.
They left my hair down but tamed it a bit and decorated it with diamonds, charms, and little silver links. The maids placed diamond jewelry around my neck and wrists but were dismayed to find I had no holes in my ears for earrings. I informed them that she-wolves didn’t think about those things because they already had to spend time shedding clothes to shift. Adding jewelry would just slow the process, and it’d probably get lost.
Finally, they somehow procured a diamond collar for the mac-talla, but I told them to wait while I turned to the creature. “Do you want to wear this?” I asked.
A’ll nae be caught playin’ deid in they, he replied in a mind-link. I sat there for a moment, processing my impending evening with this creature translating for me. I could barely understand it through its thick accent. I asked for this...
“Ok,” I said finally and turned to shake my head at the disappointed maids. When I offered my arm to the mac-talla, all three cried out, and I jumped back, startled. One ran off, then returned with a leather shoulder pad that buckled under my armpits and around my neck. It rather ruined the graceful appearance, but I supposed they’d rather not have the mac-talla shred my dress to ribbons. However, a maid tapped the leather straps, and the entire harness disappeared.
“Glamour magic,” the maid with the antlers explained, smiling and sighing in relief. I gasped at the magic that was cast so casually, reminded of Ragna’s blessing to turn invisible at night when untouched by moonlight. The fae had the same power a goddess had. That terrified me.
The maid then placed the creature on my shoulder, and I left the room, deciding to wait in the hall for Belenus. When he strode around the corner in his dinner jacket, his mouth parted, and his wide eyes took in my appearance from head to toe. He fidgeted nervously with his cuffs and blew out a long, unsteady breath.
“You… um,” he stammered, turning a little red, “you look… stunning.” Even his pointed ears pinkened; that was rather cute.
“Is this what fae battle armor looks like?” I asked, deeply pleased by his response, and gestured to my dress.
“If it is, I should declare war more often,” he breathed, briefly adjusting his belt before offering me his arm.
I laughed and accepted his arm. However, as we departed for dinner, it didn’t take more than a minute for me to realize what I was about to encounter. I’d spoken aggressively before, but I was still scared. Even wolves feared the unknown; it was nature’s warning to tread with caution. I clutched Belenus tighter, and he placed his other hand over mine to offer comfort.
When we reached the banquet hall, a porter opened the door for us, and my heart stumbled at the number of fae dining. I hadn’t expected so many. Were these all the… I didn’t know the word… court officials? The chatter at the table slowed, and the majority turned to look curiously at us. There were only two empty seats, and they seemed to be placed as far apart as possible. I looked for the guilty party at the front of the table and found a fae woman who absolutely had to be Queen Fedelm.
I could see Belenus in some of her features, and she was fair, like the rest of the fae, but she glowed with something… extra. Her golden hair shone brightly, the glare of a fresh sunrise, and there seemed to be power radiating from under her skin, reminding me—in a way—of summer thermals. Despite the warmth of her energy and her overall appearance, her countenance was the coldest I’d ever seen. Eventide’s nervousness intensified at this powerful living contradiction; this was no alpha, but she still had half a mind to submit. I wouldn’t, though. This woman deserved none of my respect.
“Greetings, my son,” the queen said, lifting her glass in recognition. As expected, she ignored me.
“Your Majesty,” Belenus returned coldly. “I’d like to introduce my fated mate, Hekla Himinn. ”
At the introduction, I nodded in slight deference. That was all these fae would get from me. They would have to earn this wolf’s favor.
One fair fae spoke out in another language, probably fae, and gestured to us.The mac-talla promptly translated. The eejit asked aboot ah fae named Eislyn. Said they thought this wus ah engagement dinner. Eejit.
It took me about ten seconds to figure out what the mac-talla said and had to suppress a laugh. Then what he’d said sunk in, and instead of a chuckle, I held back a scowl. It was only several minutes into dinner, and I was already struggling with mixed feelings.
Queen Fedelm replied calmly, “This is an engagement dinner. Belenus will be married to Eislyn in two weeks’ time. The contract has been finalized.”
Another fae asked a question, one a bit younger who couldn’t control his staring. I avoided shifting uncomfortably, needing to appear strong, but I did not like the eager look in his eyes.
The horny erse asked if ye were available then, the mac-talla said.
Belenus tensed next to me, and I could almost taste his anger. The queen merely nodded once, as though giving him permission to ‘court’ me. Eventide woke a little and bristled. The insults were stacking.
“I believe the queen is mistaken about all of that,” Belenus announced and walked me to the table. The spot near the queen was probably labeled in fae with Belenus’s name, and I was pretty sure that the empty seat at the end of the table—basically at the end of the room—had my name on it. Instead of taking his assigned seat, my mate walked with me to mine, tapped the person seated next to my chair, and ordered the fae to switch places with him.
Before Belenus could sit next to me, the queen snapped, “General Belenus, return to your assigned seat at once, or do you defy an order from your queen?” The fae at the table gasped and fell silent. The reaction made it painfully clear that the queen never had to raise her voice.
Belenus stared straight at her as he plopped into the chair next to me, defiance flashing in his eyes. The queen then gestured to a servant, who hurried over and whispered something into Belenus’s ear that sobered him. His eyes flickered to me, and he swallowed heavily. When I glanced at his hands, they were fisted tight under the table.
They said the hoor queen wull order ah floggin’ fur ye if he willny move, my companion said and adjusted his position on my shoulder. Flog?
Is she threatening to whip me? For sitting next to my mate? I snarled to Eventide, spiking her desire to come out and remove the queen’s throat. My claws and fangs elongated, and a small growl formed in my chest.
Belenus immediately grabbed my hand and shook his head. His wan face glanced furtively around the table. In the quietest whisper, he warned, “No violence, Hekla. That is not how we do things.”
Enraged, I fumed through my teeth, “She threatened violence first!”
“She’s the queen. She’ll get away with it. You won’t,” he argued, slowly moving to stand.
“Then I’ll take the whip!” I hissed. “I’m not afraid to m—”
He shook his head and left to sit next to the queen, sending me the most sorrowful look. I took a deep breath and sat straight in my seat. Yes, I would project confidence on the outside, but my insides writhed in turmoil. I did not like the way they did things here.
At home, she’d be considered an abusive alpha, and someone would try to defeat her to become the new alpha, Eventide said, reeling from shock. We may be out of our depth here.
The queen’s aff her heid, the mac-talla said helpfully. A right hoor.
I restrained a whimper as the servants brought out the first course.
BELENUS
I knew it would be dangerous to stand up to the queen, but I hadn’t expected a flogging threat for changing my blistering seat at the table. I glanced over at Hekla, choked from all the emotions trying to escape me at the same time. They were bottlenecked in my throat, and not one of them could decide which feeling to release first.
My female sat tall and proud, but I knew her eyes by now, and I saw her vulnerability. I truly did believe she’d take the whip to stay at my side, but I couldn’t let that happen. I had no idea how far my mo—the queen would go. I glanced over at the tyrant and took in her calm demeanor. No, she was my mother no longer; I didn’t know this wicked person.
Emer nudged me, and I sent her a dark look, not wanting any of her nonsense at the moment. She whispered, “Did you find out who dosed her?”
I scowled at her, and through clenched teeth, I asked, “How did you know about that? Were you the one who did it?”
“Pft! I may be a touch naughty, but I’m not cruel like Mother,” Emer declared, loud enough for the queen to hear.
“You best be careful, Emer. She’s not who we once knew,” I warned in a hush. “You may be the next one at the whipping post.” I curled my lip in disgust.
“Who’s to say I haven’t been there already?” Emer asked, casually checking her nails before taking another bite of her salad. I looked sharply at her, but she ignored me. She exaggerated but did not usually lie—not to me. “Anyway, think it was a past lover?” she asked quietly, returning to the prior subject .
“That’s what one of my… friends thought,” I said, glancing bitterly around to see if any of them were at the table. “Unfortunately, there’s a great number of those.”
“See who approaches you in the next couple of days. That should be a hint.”
“Glencora, Ronat, Lynet… Cutha…” My eyes raked over the diners as I tried to remember all my court dalliances over the last fifteen years. I doubted it’d be anyone else past that time. They would have long since moved on to other lovers.
“Augh… Lynet? What were you thinking?” she snarled. “Vile, shameless hussy.”
I held my hands up in defeat. I had no good excuses for that one. As though she could hear us—which was impossible—Lynet looked at me, tucked a strand of her wheat-blonde hair over her shoulder, and bit her lip in a suggestive way. It was a good thing that Hekla was seated too far back to see the woman. She probably would have ripped Lynet’s lips off her face. The other past lovers gave me a mix of glances; Glencora looked sad, Ronat looked jealous, and Cutha looked like she thought she could seduce me for one last romp. No, these women had not moved on for quite some time.
I sighed. I just wanted my Hekla.
HEKLA
Even though I had the mac-talla, I did not want to be approached by anyone, so I kept my eyes glued to my plate. I didn’t want anyone to look at me, talk to me, or touch me, and I tried to project that through my body language.
I don’t know if we’ve ever been at a more uncomfortable dinner, Eventide mumbled. Every second of this misery feels like an hour .
Tattie, if ye wud, the mac-talla requested, poking my neck. I stared at my plate, trying to puzzle out his words, and finally forked a potato.
“This?” I asked quietly, and he snatched my offering, mashing away with his furry snout.
Mm, guid tattie.
The fae to my right, fair like the rest, said something in his language, and I warily waited for the mac-talla to translate. This naff fae is Finnbarr, an’ he wants tae ken if ye’ll dally wi’ him tonight.
I gasped and recoiled slightly, horribly tempted to bare my canines and claws in displeasure.
Dae ye want tae reply wi’ ah nae? the mac-talla asked.
Yes! Eventide and I hissed at the same time. My companion spoke the fae words slowly, and I repeated them word-for-word to Finnbarr, who grew progressively more shocked. He stood with a face flushed red with fury, threw his napkin down, and stormed out of the banquet hall. Anyone within hearing distance gaped at me like I was a barbarian.
Well, that seemed like an overreaction… Eventide observed slowly, befuddled.
The mac-talla rocked slightly on my shoulder, as if he was laughing.
What… what did I actually say? I asked, realizing I’d been duped, but my companion remained silent. I cleared my throat and returned to studying my food, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
I brought this on myself, I repeated calmly. This was my fault.
From the corner of my eye, I spied someone taking the empty seat next to me, and I withered, hoping it wasn’t another man looking to ‘dally.’ The only one I wanted to ‘dally’ with was Belenus. Gods, I wanted him so desperately. I sighed and tried not to squirm as thoughts of my fated mate’s embrace triggered false heat symptoms.
Damnation. Please help me, Moon Goddess. I fanned my face and took another bite of food.
“Your mac-talla appears to be playing tricks on you, I see,” the fae next to me said, speaking fluently in my language. I glanced over to find it was the one who’d asked earlier if I was available to court. He grinned and swirled a glass of… something. It smelled a bit like wine.
Just. Want. Belenus! Eventide snapped.
“Maybe I meant what I said,” I replied shortly, not wanting anything to do with him.
“So, you definitely meant to tell him that if his cock was as limp as his manners, you’d rather not jump into his lap?”
That had me inhaling a small vegetable, and I coughed until tears rolled down my cheeks. The fae slapped my back, the vegetable came out, and I spat it angrily into my napkin. Quite fed up at the moment, I growled very quietly, and the mac-talla stiffened. The creature was outside my glaring range, but he knew he was in trouble.
“Y-yes,” I answered weakly, clearing my throat before pouring an entire glass of water down it. “Well, his sniffing about wasn’t appreciated.”
“This sounds like a wolf thing. Exotic. And what is the appropriate way to sniff a woman?” he asked with a flirty grin. I frowned when I caught his eyes devouring my flushed chest.
I don’t think I can do this, I said to Eventide. There is no point in staying here, especially with my heat symptoms. There are too many horny mal—er, men here.
I agree. Let’s ditch this garbage.
I stood, carefully gathered my sleeves and cape so I wouldn’t trip on them, and left the banquet hall without a word. I fisted my hands, trying to hide the claws that ignored my mental commands, and since my canines had elongated, I kept my mouth firmly shut. Had there been any victory tonight? I made an appearance to take a stance, but it didn’t seem to matter. It had only added to my distress .
From behind came the sound of boots slapping on stone, and I scented Belenus. My posture drooped in relief, glad that he at least had thought to check on me.
In the torchlit hall, he grabbed my hand instead of offering his arm and asked, “Did anything happen? I saw several men talk to you, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying.”
I squeezed his broad hand, liking the more affectionate touch. It meant so much to me that he’d initiated it. “Just… annoying fae sniffing about,” I explained, scrunching my nose in distaste. “The mac-talla drove one off, but I left after the second one took his place. Not to mention my heat is returning a little.” I blew out a breath and fanned my face to fight what couldn’t be fought.
“Shit. Well, I know who they are. I’ll warn them off,” Belenus growled. It wasn’t a wolf growl, but it was masculine all the same, and it aggravated the throbbing between my legs.
“I just want to return to my chamber. I’ve had enough socializing for one night,” I said and continued toward my room. Belenus followed faithfully, escorting me while offering comfort. His grip on my hand stayed strong and reinforced how seriously he took our rebellion. The gesture, though small, meant everything.
As we approached my suite, I noticed something new on the door. A nameplate had been added with a small note tied under it. My blood turned frigid as I waited for a translation.
“They gave this suite to Eislyn,” Belenus snarled, ripped the note off the door, and read it with a furious face. His chest heaved the more he read until he finally shredded the paper. “They moved your things into another room, and it’s all the way in the servant’s wing.” Flushed from rage, he forcefully kicked the door, leaving a dirty scuff on it from his boot.
So that’s why she invited us to dinner! So she could oust us! Eventide fumed.
I relayed what she’d said to Belenus and covered my face with my hands. This couldn’t be happening!
Breathe, breathe, Hekla! Eventide urged.
“She’s edging us out, little by little!” I panted, then placed a hand on my belly, suddenly unable to breathe in the dress. Panic fought to sicken me, and it was winning.
“Hekla! Hekla!” Belenus grabbed my arms to steady me. “No! She’s done shit! She can’t change how I feel about you, ok? Don’t let her kill your morale! This is how she works!”
“It’s not how we do things!” I cried in frustration and scrabbled at my dress to untie it. I needed to breathe!
“Hey, hey, hey! Let’s get you to your room, and I’ll help you with that dress, ok? Just stay with me! Let’s go!” He grabbed my hand and hurried us through the halls.
“Please just let me stay with you!” I begged, tears welling in my eyes.
He shook his head fervently. “You know I can’t do that. You need to stay strong for us.”
I was at a loss for words. There were so many things I could have said, but my mind simply wasn’t working. Too much distress. Too little air.
Belenus led me farther from where I stayed, and the castle gradually became less lavish. I didn’t need fancy paintings or exotic flowers, but the stark difference was a brutal reminder of how little the queen cared for folk fae and other servants.
My fated mate opened a room, and we walked into a small bedroom that contained only necessities, which were a bed, toilet, sink, bath, and an empty closet. My belongings from my original realm were here, but all the clothes Belenus had collected for me were gone. I walked to the bed to check my bag and let the mac-talla jump off. Nothing seemed to have been stolen. The gifts from my friends and my other personal effects were safely stored within it.
“I don’t need fancy things, Belenus…” I murmured emotionally. “But my territory and my… p-pack were taken from me… all over again.” My gaze fell upon the wooden floor, its boards darkening from teardrops .
Belenus didn’t say anything. He just moved closer from behind and started loosening my dress so I could breathe. I moved my blank stare to the windowless wall, feeling like I’d been locked in a cage. Wolves didn’t do well in cages.