Chapter 14
BELENUS
Nothing I said made any difference whatsoever. It was as though I was a ghost throughout the entire interrogation. Perhaps I deserved it. I shouldn’t have taken the risk with Hekla. I should have never touched her. I thought it’d be fine on a technicality, but I was completely wrong. It was a stupid mistake, something a young, lusty fae would have made. It’d be embarrassing if the consequences hadn’t been so devastating.
The truth was… she was never safe here.
I hadn’t thought so many steps ahead to avoid this. This trap had been so carefully woven. The queen invited Hekla to dinner during her heat and provoked her with an extreme speech. She surrounded Hekla with single men to overwhelm her into retreat. She knew the men would go after her, and she knew that I wouldn’t be able to resist following to protect her. She knew that in order for Hekla to return, she’d have to be free of her heat by being sated. She knew that I wouldn’t be able to resist sating her instead of letting her masturbate, and she knew I’d have to do that somewhere nearby due to rushing after her.
All she had to do was send someone out to follow us and wait. Then she’d expose our activity in front of the princess who wouldn’t have been able to resist punishing my fated mate for “sullying her courtship.”
That was what…? Ten steps ahead? I’d been blindsided like a fool! The queen had been reading up on wolf-shifter biology much sooner than she’d said.
Also, what were those punishment items? Were aconite and silver lethal for wolves like iron was for us fae? I’d nearly murdered one of the guards in my attempt to get to her, but the other ones converged on me before I could kill him with my bare hands. He was lying facedown on the floor in his own blood, a mimic to my sister’s prone form. I could have killed them all, but the queen would have pinned me down with her magic by then.
Gone are the days of the benevolent summer fae.
The queen sighed at the two bodies and waved her hand at a guard. “Go fetch the doctors, please.”
“How long?” I croaked out, staring at Hekla who was on all fours now. She was whimpering and occasionally shrieking in agony.
Her screaming would haunt me for the rest of my damned life.
“I think that depends on how you behave,” the queen answered, and I knew in that moment that my time was running out sooner than anticipated. I had to find a way out of this marriage right now. More importantly, though, I needed to get Hekla out of the city and somewhere safe.
The queen continued to speak, interrupting my frantic planning. “You know, I thought she’d be a good way to control you when you became… difficult, but now I see that it’s much worse. Keep your best groom face on, my dear son, or I’ll execute her.”
I asked, so shocked that my tone was almost one of wonder, “Who are you? I don’t know you. I always thought you’d get better after Father died, but you got worse. Now I don’t even recognize you… ”
“I’m your mother. I thought that was fairly obvious. Perhaps you should let the doctor look at your head.” She moved to return to her dinner. “Do escort your beautiful bride-to-be to the banquet hall now. Care for her. I’m sure her nerves are in tatters.”
I stared at her back, wondering how we’d gotten here. Then, I looked down at my bleeding sister and to my writhing fated mate. It had never been more obvious that something larger was going on behind the curtains. I needed to think on this and formulate a new strategy—fast. I needed to figure out where the heart was so I could destroy it.
I tried to go to Hekla to comfort her, but Eislyn intercepted me and hooked her arm around mine. Her eyes were threatening as she said, “I am ever so woozy, Your Highness. Let us go back to our banquet.”
I pointed to the guard and hissed, “You make sure she gets medical care too.” He didn’t seem to hear me, and I scowled, fighting the urge to cleave his head from his shoulders. I looked around, wondering where the mac-talla had gone. Perhaps he’d find his way back to Hekla.
I returned to my seat and pushed the food around my plate while the two nightmares dined happily. There was no way I could eat, being too nauseated and wrung tight with stress. Hekla’s screams repeated in my mind, over and over. Guttural, they’d sounded like they’d erupted from her very soul, and I swore I had almost felt her pain. I rubbed my eye like it itched, but it was only to conceal a tear that’d escaped. How was all this real?
About ten minutes later, Hekla was forced into the banquet hall by a guard. He pointed to her seat and prodded her forcefully. I turned to the queen, beside myself with horror, and whispered, “You can’t be serious! Let her go. Don’t force her to be here!”
“But even a mutt needs to eat, my son,” she said calmly and poked at her salad. “No need to be cruel.”
I wasn’t certain if I was surprised or not, but the room definitely had a strong opinion. There was a large commotion among the unmated men who’d noticed her state, and they were not happy. Now that her heat had subsided for a while, the men were more attentive than aroused and were trying to figure out what had happened to her. Hekla wouldn’t talk to any of them, but there was a swarm of fae hurrying to make her more comfortable.
“Your Majesty,” a fae named Odran said, “what happened to the vessel of the Sky Gods, Miss Hekla? Who did such a thing?”
“Marred her beautiful skin,” another fae griped in deep disapproval, but I couldn’t see who it was.
The queen replied simply, “She is being punished, Odran. That is all you need to know.”
“But for what?” Patraic whined.
“It is none of your concern,” she said, lacing steel into her voice.
“I’d say it is. She’s a pretty, single woman. What if one of us wants to court her? Did she murder someone?” Beathan inquired.
“She doesn’t look too good. You should remove it…”
“Why is she even here if she’s being punished?”
“I’m… very confused right now.”
“I think we have a right to know if she’ll cut our balls off in the middle of the night!”
“Just remove the damnable thing. I’m sure you’ve made your point, Your Majesty…”
The table fell into an uproar, and that was the moment Hekla raised her red, swollen eyes to meet mine. Was she waiting for me to make my protest? I glanced to my right to find both the queen and Eislyn staring at me, so I looked back down at my plate. How did I know what would make things worse, what would get her executed? I needed Hekla to survive the night so I could get her out of here tomorrow. So, I swallowed heavily and shoveled some food in my mouth. It tasted like ash.
When several fae stood to argue, the queen rose and yelled, “SILENCE!” She pointed at the guards and snapped, “Get her out of here at once!”
I tensed and nearly stood. Get her out of here… but to where? She hadn’t specified, so that must mean he r room. She should be safe there. Bidelia knew to care for her. I slumped in my seat with my heart in my throat. I’d told Hekla that violence wasn’t how we did things here, but I’d allowed violence to happen to her. I’d steered us both so wrong.
Shit.
Never again. Something shattered inside my mind, clearing my vision, letting me see much farther, past what I’d been told to believe and live by. I’d been too naive. King Zorian was right. As he’d put it to me a while back, I had to “grow the fuck up.”
HEKLA
The guard escorted me down the hall, and a scrabbling preceded the form of the mac-talla running around the corner to reach me. I scooped him up without breaking stride, not wanting to be yanked by the guard for falling behind. I held my pet to my chest and cried softly as he sniffed and prodded the collar.
Whit in the blazes is this scunner? Ye neck is burnt a’ower! Arse asked in surprise.
Don’t touch it! I begged, sobbing from the pain of him adjusting it. It burns me! It’s silver.
He was quiet for a moment, then said, Ah’m sorry ah cudnae help ye. We were ambushed. Ah’m fair puggled.
No, I’m glad you escaped. Emer wasn’t so lucky. She was bleeding from her head, but the doctors are looking at her now, I said, patting him gently on the head. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was shaken. His little body quivered from either stress or fear. You’re safe now.
The guard stopped me at my door but made me pause before I could grab the handle. His dark blond brows were set, and his jaw was tight. He uttered in a low voice, “This isn’t who we used to be, vessel. We never needed laws to control... certain fae. Could be that it’s time for change. ”
“I can’t help you with that,” I said carefully, speaking on a soft breath and trying not to move my throat too much. “Tell that to your prince, but he’ll likely be as helpful to you as he is to his fated mate.” My eyes watered as bitterness coiled in my chest. I resented Belenus’s silence as much as I resented my words about him. This world confused me.
“General Belenus is a good man trying to get his beloved army through a wicked... battlefield,” the guard returned surreptitiously.
When the fae realized I had no reply for him, he stood back from the door and gestured for me to retire. I closed the door, slid down it for the hundredth time, and let the mac-talla go eat. Bidelia, already here, was sitting on the bed with a couple trays of food and nervously poking her fingers together.
When she looked at me, her eyes watered, and when I told her everything, the tears fell. I stared blankly at her for a moment as she bawled, then pulled her in for a hug. She accidentally brushed against my collar, and I screamed through my teeth, startling the poor thing. I nearly fainted from the pain and gasped for air. Bidelia scooted back, terrified, and I looked apologetically at her while panting.
“I’m sorry, little pup. Do you think you can help get me to bed?” I asked quietly, feeling my voice start to go from all the screaming. My throat… raw inside and outside. Irrational fear had me worrying my head would fall off.
Bidelia’s chin quivered as she nodded and went to grab one of my nightgowns. She helped undress me, slid my nightgown on, and sponged the sweat from my skin. She offered to try to squeeze a cold, damp towel between the collar and my skin, but the gap just wasn’t big enough, and I accepted that my flesh would be charred by dawn. I hoped that what Rakel said was true. I felt closer to Ragna and Rakel in that moment, taking solace from the fact that they’d both been silvered and survived. I pictured them with me, cooing and petting their comfort in the way she-wolves did .
I told Bidelia to sleep in her own room because I knew I’d be screaming throughout the night, but she refused repeatedly and curled up next to me and the mac-talla. We were a strange little pack, a bizarre mix of wolf and fae creatures. I stroked Bidelia’s soft hair and vowed I’d grant her any favor I could if I survived this ordeal. Maybe I could send her to live at Zorian’s castle. She could study there, and she’d be a good nanny when Ragna gave birth to her litter. Yes, she’d flourish there. She’d do much better under Ragna’s care.
“You’re such a good pup, Bidelia…” I whispered.
·
I was useless the next day and close to wishing for death. My wolf couldn’t help me heal any faster for she was locked away now. I only slept briefly when I passed out from the pain, so I was terribly sleep deprived. I stared at the door all afternoon, memorizing every pattern in the wood while I rode out my heat—and torture sentence. I ached from staying on my side, but I dared not move. Though the black, charred flesh had finally numbed, the surrounding skin was excruciatingly painful and itched like mad.
Some of the pain was an antidote to my heat, though not one I welcomed; it was hard to be aroused when waves of white fire intermittently tore through my neck. Other times, the pain would feel cold on the lighter burns. I didn’t know that burns could feel so cold. Some of the waves reminded me of when Ragna challenged me to lick ice when we were pups… but infinitely worse.
The doctors never showed up to check on me either. The queen had probably ordered them to stay away. I doubted they could have done much anyway.
Please Sky Gods, give me strength. Is this the moment you mentioned? Will you help me now?
There was no voice in my head. The Sky Gods remained silent. Short of death, I wasn’t sure how much worse it could get .
BELENUS
I didn’t sleep last night. I could have sworn I felt Hekla’s agony, but it was probably just trauma working its way through me. I had planned on pretending to be sick today, but I was closer to being sick than I’d imagined. Perhaps my body couldn’t handle telling one more lie.
I sent word to the queen that I would not be available for social calls as I was ill today. I didn’t want to give anyone an opportunity to take something out on Hekla before I could get her to safety. We just had to survive until tonight.
The guard who’d escorted Hekla to her room last night, Drust, came to give me a very, very unofficial report. He’d risked his life because I could have easily charged him with treason had I not agreed with his sentiments.
Apparently, there was dissent among the soldiers, including some of the castle’s senior guards. There were many disagreements on a number of topics, mostly including the queen’s growing hostility. It’d snuck up on those who’d initially taken it as her grieving for her late husband, but too many years had passed for it to be tolerated, especially as her behavior worsened.
On a more specific, personal topic, news had spread of the queen’s abuse of my fated mate. Though it was somewhat understandable to have my engagement cancelled to marry into another court, it was appalling to torture someone for reasons the guards and soldiers couldn’t unravel. Fated mates were incredibly rare, and they had anticipated her being treated with some dignity, especially since she’d soon lose her soulmate to another woman.
Though Drust understood that Hekla had been forced into the role of a hostage, he felt the need to impart to me the men’s moods. They were disappointed I hadn’t taken action yet, more specifically, action outside the rules of the court. It’d been made clear to me last night that not even the court followed its own rules, and I knew it was time for me to break from them as well, even with it risking death.
I was still shocked that there was any number of men willing to commit treason at this point. If we could organize them without exposing our intent to those loyal to the queen, we might have a chance to take the throne. Even so, there was still the question of how to dissolve the contract.
If I executed the queen, would that…? I shut my eyes tight, not sure I could think about that at the moment. She was still my biological mother, but… she was also a monster. I had more time to ponder that. The original date still stood; it was just about a week now.
I ordered Drust to get a broad idea of how many were willing to revolt. At this point, I could tell fairly well if someone was lying, and Drust appeared genuine—enough for me to take a risk. I crawled into bed to begin my planning, pulling out maps of the castle layout. I also tried to sort out safe places to harbor Hekla, Emer, and Bidelia. I needed to protect the lycan doctor as well. King Zorian would have my head if Doctor Egres died under my watch. If Emer was stable by then, I’d have her moved out just prior to the potential rebellion. I didn’t want to give the queen any reason to suspect that something was being planned.
A knock on the door around sunset had me freezing for a second, but then I quickly shoved my plans deep between my two mattresses. “Who is it?” I snapped irritably. The door opened, and Eislyn walked in carrying a bowl of soup. I glared at her and said, “I didn’t say you could enter. Get out. I’m sick today.”
“I know, my husband-to-be,” she said with a sympathetic, demure smile. Gods, I hated when she called me that. She probably knew too. “The queen insisted I practice playing housewife and feed you some soup!”
“I don’t want your soup.” I snorted, narrowing my eyes at her.What was her game? Poison?
“Aww, my sweet man is grumpy from being sick. That’s ok. I’ll help you feel better.”
I stared at her, completely baffled. “How do you keep up the act? You know that I know this is all a game. It’s just you and me here. There’s literally no one to perform for!”
“Goodness, you must have a fever too. You’re saying the strangest things.” She swirled the soup, spilling a little on the cloth she had under it to protect her hands from the heat. “Oh dear, where is your trash?” she asked, looking around.
“In the bathroom…” I said, eyeing her suspiciously.
“One minute. I need to dump this and wash up,” she replied cheerfully and disappeared into my en suite.
What in the shit is she doing here? I thought, trying to sort through her actions. I looked out the window as the sky darkened. I just needed to tolerate her a little longer, then kick her out of here.
She was in there for a while, a lot longer than she needed to be, so I’d have to have someone sweep it for spells or something. Shit, she was such a nuisance. Finally, she came out, stirring the soup that was still magically piping hot.
“Come on, have some soup! It’ll make you feel better,” she said with a bat of her eyelashes. When she leaned forward to put it near my mouth, I recoiled, scowling.
“I don’t want your soup, woman!” I protested angrily, holding a hand up to block her. She giggled and tried to go around it.
A knock on the door seemed to startle her, and she spilled the bowl of soup on my shirt. I shouted and yanked the now-scalding shirt off of me. “That was hot, you b—” I yelled but changed what I was going to say when she went to answer the door. “Eislyn! Don’t just ope—” I began to hiss, but then she yanked at her bodice to expose half a breast and messed up her hair right before she opened the door. The blood drained from my face. I knew who’d be on the other side, and this entire scene looked bad. It looked really, really bad.
Hekla stood in the doorway, staring in shock at Eislyn’s disheveled appearance. Her eyes widened even more when she saw me in bed without a shirt. Her mouth dropped open, and her jaw quivered in horror .
“Hekla! This was a trap! Remember what I said!” I cried, scrambling out of bed to go to her. Her eyes went back to Eislyn, and she took a sniff, then braced herself against the doorframe as though she was having a heart attack.
“You… bedded her?” she asked in a whisper, stumbling back a step. “Belenus… did… you... use me?”
“I know the message said it was from my betrothed, but I summoned you to offer you work, Hekla!” Eislyn said cheerfully. “I want to make things right. I was hoping you could be my lady-in-waitin—”
“Stop lying, Eislyn!” I roared at her, furious. How many steps ahead was this sham?
“Oh, there’s no need to hide us anymore, my love,” she said, patting my shocked, shaking shoulder while I gaped at her. I recoiled and brushed her hand off, but it was delayed. “At least you had your fun with her. Just don’t slip ag—”
My mind tried to shut off from sheer shock. “Hekla, look at me! She’s not telling the truth. She spilled s—” I started to explain, and I reached out for Hekla. Before I could finish my sentence, she took one last heartbroken look at me, choked on a bone-deep sob, and fled. “Hekla!” I screamed and made to run, but Eislyn tugged at my arm. I could have dragged her, but instead, I shoved her violently to the ground.
“Guards!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. Two ran in, and I pointed to Eislyn. “Arrest her for assaulting a citizen!” I said to one, then I turned to the other and said, “If the queen gets near the dungeon, tell her that Eislyn’s been taken to the doctors and needs her!” The first part was a blatant false accusation, but it’d cause confusion.
“I have diplomatic immunity!” Eislyn screamed.
“I don’t give a shit! Kiss my ass!” I yelled, mindlessly repeating Hekla’s words as I shoved my boots on and ran after Hekla, not certain that the second guard would follow my orders. I had asked him to do something treasonous. Eislyn didn’t have any power here except for her relationship with the queen. She may have diplomatic immunity, but she’d still have to go through the process of being arrested first if the queen didn’t get to her fast enough. Hopefully the goose chase would delay that part long enough. I needed to buy time to snag Hekla, get her out of here, and explain. Shit!
I ran into Koray in the hall and felt some relief upon seeing a reliable ally. What I didn’t expect was his violence when he shoved me against the wall. “What the fuck did you do? You slept with Eislyn? What the fuck! Why would you do that to her?”
“No, I didn’t!” I yelled back into his face. “Eislyn spun yet another elaborate damn trap!”
“Then why the fuck did Hekla smell your cum on her?” Koray seethed, looking like he was ready to throw a punch. My body straightened in surprise.
“What?” I blurted, bewildered. I couldn’t have heard that right.
“She smelled your fucking cum on Eislyn, you lying asshole!” Koray snapped, spitting in rage.
It took me a moment, and then I made the connection. “Serves me right for throwing my sessions in the trash,” I said in amazement. I didn’t want to think about how Eislyn went about it, but it was probably one of the most disgusting things I’d ever heard of a woman doing.
“What?” This time, Koray had asked it, shaking his head and narrowing his eyes.
“Eislyn took an awful long time in the restroom while I was trying to kick her out. I throw my damn emission rags in the trash there. I told the queen I was sick, so she sent Eislyn to my room with soup. She spilled the damn soup on me, so I ripped my shirt off, and here we are!” I spread my arms wide in disbelief. “Tonight had been too late to get her out… I waited too long!”
“How the fuck do I know you’re telling the truth anyway? I don’t have your damn fae senses,” Koray snarled. “You’ve destroyed Hekla, and this is going to break my Soley’s damn heart! ”
“Well, if you care so much, then figure the truth out for your Soley, Koray! You’re smart! I can’t prove shit! The queen is obviously a million steps ahead of me at any given moment! Where’s Hekla? I need to explain this shit, and she can probably tell if I’m lying or not!”
“She’s gone,” Koray said coldly as he stepped away from me. “You messed up one too many times, Belenus. I warned you. I warned you!”
“Gone?” I asked, just above a whisper, deeply apprehensive. “Gone where, Koray?”
“I don’t fucking know. I could barely make out what she was saying…”
I shook myself to clear my head and pinched the bridge of my nose. Steps needed to be taken, starting now. “I’m going to give you three options Koray, and you can take them or ignore them,” I said in a low voice. “You can help look for Hekla, and take her somewhere safe. You can stay here and work with Drust, who’s gathering soldiers for an uprising, or you can go home. I don’t recommend staying casually because you’ll be caught in the middle of a war zone.”
His mouth parted in surprise, even though he was still furious. “You’re going to do a takeover?” he whispered before looking over his shoulder.
“I don’t have a choice!” I spat. “I thought following the rules would keep my loved ones safe, but it’s done everything but that!” I leaned in closer. “And you can be sure as shit that Eislyn is on my list of hostile invaders.”
I pushed Koray away and ran to Hekla’s room, needing to see it to believe it. I shoved open the door, and all that was there was Bidelia sobbing on Hekla’s bed. She jerked her head up in surprise and scowled. “Go ’way!” she shouted. The ire nearly struck me as much as Hekla’s absence; so much had the young fae’s love been for my fated mate that she’d yelled at the crown prince.
I stared at the floor, still unable to process it. My love’s bag was gone. Koray came up behind me and released a deep sigh; other than that, he remained silent.
I addressed him numbly, “I’m going to find her, and I’m going to fix everything. If she ever listens to me again, I’m going to tell her the exact moment I fell in love with her. I never got to share that.”
“And if she doesn’t?” Koray asked in a low voice.
“Then I’ll say I deserved it and take care of her from a distance. She has a right to never forgive me for this. Goodbye, Koray. Choose well and be safe.”