Chapter 9
Ariana
Ian refuses to look at me. He breathes through his nose, temper brewing beneath the surface with each inhale. Next to him in the passenger’s seat, Liam’s eyes are similarly fixed on the road in front of us. Cole focuses on his phone, scrolling through his feed with the brightness dimmed.
We may be driving in silence, but the air in the car hangs heavy with words unspoken. Nothing needs to be said, I can feel their emotions clearly.
Now that we’re in private, none of the men bother to rein in their scents or dominance. The pressure of their simmering anger weighs down on me, making me shrink into the back of my seat.
The ball’s venue is on the outskirts of the city. It’ll be a long ride to our apartment in the center of the metropolis. Long enough that I can feel myself sobering. The drinks and bravado I had venting to the Coates pack melt away, replaced with anxiety at my pack’s seething.
I stare at my feet, studying the grooves the tight straps of my heels have left against my skin. Mentally, I make a checklist of all the things I’ve done wrong tonight.
More than one drink when Ian gave me a limit. Complained about the discomfort of the shoes Liam chose for me aloud.
Should I add dancing with other alphas? They’ve encouraged that when it was people they were trying to work with before, but it wouldn’t be the first time they’ve changed their mind on something that was previously okay.
I grumbled about their second omega too. There’s an argument for that being a public criticism of my pack. They’ll say I embarrassed them by protesting their decisions in front of other people. So much for being the perfect omega. Maybe I’m a bigger failure than I realize.
The Coates pack was just easy to talk to. It almost felt like talking to a friend. I wasn’t trying to admonish my pack, it slipped out. Doesn’t everyone vent about their relationship to their friends?
But they aren’t my friends, I hardly know them. I have to be more careful with my words in the future. I just have to try harder. I may not be perfect, but I refuse to believe I’m a failure.
Additionally, my conversation with the Coates wasn’t exactly over a speaker.
My pack may not know I told anyone about Amy.
That’s the most egregious offense on my checklist. If they’re unaware of it, I may not have sinned too badly.
My other mistakes aren’t amazing, but are they really cause for the sheer amount of anger lacing the air?
“What’s going on?” I break the silence, still looking down at my feet. As much as I want to hide away from it, letting them stew in their anger may make it worse later. I’m going to have to face it eventually either way.
My question isn’t answered with words. Ian lets out a sigh, continuing to drive. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the light of Cole’s phone darken as he turns it off and looks at me. It’s Liam that replaces the light, turning around in his seat and thrusting his phone screen towards me.
In the darkness of the car, my eyes don’t register the words in front of me at first as I lean forward. Squinting at its max brightness, the messages slowly take shape into letters.
I’m so lonely without you.
Do you still want me here? I feel like you don’t.
Please come home. I miss you.
New messages appear almost as fast as I can read them. Amy must be typing away. I pull myself back into my seat, choosing my reaction carefully.
It would be wrong to laugh. They wanted a new omega so badly, they got one. Apparently she’s too new to know they hate being bothered during work events like the ball.
And she’s been blowing up their phones since what, basically since we arrived at the gala? They must have loved that.
Serves them right. I can’t seem too satisfied, that would be petty. Nor can I be relieved that their anger is with her, not me. They’d get madder than they already are and claim I don’t care how hard this transition is for her.
I settle for curiosity. “Did you let her know we’re on our way home?” It’s an innocent question in my mind. Apparently not in Liam’s, because it sets him off.
“Oh, what a good idea, Ari.” His lips curl into a mocking smile, spitting my nickname out like its venom. “Why didn’t I think of that? I should just let her know we’re on our way home. Do you think that’ll make her feel better?”
He pulls his phone away, but its afterimage remains as I blink at the lack of light with it gone. He doesn’t continue, and I realize his question wasn’t rhetorical. He’s waiting for me to answer.
“I guess?” I’m not sure where he’s going with this.
“Right, you guess. Did you guys hear that? She guesses it’ll make her feel better.” Liam scoffs. “You know what would’ve made me feel better, Ariana? Want to guess that one too?”
I don’t, but he’s no longer waiting for me to speak. He’s only getting started.
“If while one omega was home crying because she couldn’t come with us, our other wasn’t bitching and moaning the entire ball.
First Cole tells me you’re crying about your feet hurting in front of investors, then I come and get you and you’re wasted.
When you should’ve been with Ian the entire time helping him network.
You know that’s why we took you. What’s the point of having you around if you’re not going to bother putting in effort? ”
I’ve misunderstood. Their anger isn’t at Amy for pestering them like I thought. Their anger is at me. But it’s bullshit.
How’s it my fault they didn’t bring her? Or they could’ve left me at home too. If I’d blown up their phones begging them to come home, they would’ve lost it at me. Now Amy does it and somehow it’s still my fault?
For once I don’t shrivel under his fury. Instead, my own voice fills with indignation.
“I don’t know, maybe because we’re a pack? Because I’m your scent match and we’re bonded?” I point one finger at the scarred mark on my neck, where their teeth have tied us together.
I’m only stating the basic principle too, that we should be together because we’re in a relationship.
I haven’t even touched on the fact that this was supposed to be their idea of fairness.
This was supposed to be a date with me after they’d given Amy all their free time this week.
I barely even saw them the entire night.
Now they have the audacity to be mad at me for Amy’s reaction, like her texting didn’t pull them away from me.
They didn’t even dance with me, I realize, heart sinking.
I’d been so occupied dancing with the Coates pack I hadn’t noticed the absence of theirs until now.
No matter how busy they are at these galas, Liam at least always spent one song with me.
“It does seem a bit unfair.” The apple of my eye, Cole speaks up for me. “You’re being harsh.”
“Harsh?” Liam turns to face the front of the car again, not looking at me or Cole. “How’s that unfair to her, but not unfair to Amy? She’s sitting at home crying because she’s not with us.”
“She’s got to get used to it eventually.” At least one person’s consistent in their logic. He may not be using the most gentle phrasing, but Cole’s unchanging opinion is strangely comforting.
After all, how many times have I cried, waiting for them to come home? I can’t recall ever receiving this much sympathy, especially not from Liam.
“Well,” he grumbles, “so does Ari. We’ve taken you to how many of these now?
You should know the drill by now. I heard you were off chatting but Ian could’ve used your help.
There were multiple packs in there with foundations specifically for omegas.
You know how important reputation is. It would’ve looked better if you were with him when he was talking to any of them. ”
Didn’t they bring me specifically as a conversation starter with the Coates pack? The way I see it, the amount of time I spent sitting with them was a perfect opportunity for my pack to come join. I basically did what they wanted, and they’re still not happy.
“One of you could have come and gotten me at any time,” I point out. “Two of you were just too busy talking to Amy on the phone and clearly Ian forgot about me until you needed me to impress people.”
I don’t know where this sudden bravery to talk back is coming from. It could be the alcohol lingering in my system, or words I’ve been pushing under the surface spilling out.
The worst part is, despite them pushing me to the side for Amy at the fundraiser, I’d still enjoyed myself during the time I spent with the Coates pack. Now their anger has wiped that away and spoiled the night entirely.
Unimpressed, Ian finally speaks for the first time since we sat in the car.
“We expect everyone to contribute to this pack. That includes you, Ariana.” Even without seeing him, I can imagine his expression.
Narrowed eyes, mouth set into a fine line.
“If you don’t, how do you expect us to maintain the lifestyle we give you? ”
“I thought I was. You said you were bringing me to talk to the Coates pack. I was doing my job.” It’s harder to talk back to Ian than it is with Liam. My protests are weaker, but my voice is steady.
Ian takes his hands off the wheel, grabbing his phone and steering with his knees. I wish he wouldn’t text and drive like this. It scares me every time, but he continues doing so regardless.
“I’m not optimistic about their involvement. They’re not the only ones we wanted to impress tonight either. You should have kept an eye out for who I was with and joined me accordingly. You had nothing more important to do.”
Per usual, nothing’s more important than playing my role. I don’t know why they act as if I’m the one asking for the lifestyle we have. I would love them without the glitz and glamour. They’re more enamored by it than I am.
“So how does Amy contribute?” My bravado from earlier is gone, giving way to the insecurity I’ve been trying to avoid showing them.
“What does she have that I don’t? What do you need from her so bad that I can’t give you?” As if speaking shakily isn’t bad enough, my voice even cracks. Despite the dress I’m wearing, I feel naked and vulnerable bearing myself open like this.
Ian and Liam exchange glances in front of me, but no one answers my question. Next to me, Cole’s scent stirs with pity. That almost feels worse. He begins placing an arm around me and I lean closer to him.
“Don’t.” Cole’s arm freezes at Ian’s cold command. It’s not a bark, but his words are laced with warning. “You and I will talk about Amy at home, Ariana. The topic at hand is your contribution, not hers. You should’ve understood this lesson nine years ago. I’m not sure why it’s an issue now.”
I feel Cole’s eyes on me as he retracts his arm. I’m sure he has an apology written on his face, but I turn my gaze back to my feet instead of looking at him. I don’t want to see it right now. No one consoles me and we continue our drive home in silence.
An hour in, his thigh presses against my leg. It’s an act of rebellion, this silent form of comfort. I press my leg back as much as my constricting dress allows. Finally, I lift my head, only to find Cole not looking back at me.
The alpha’s not looking at anything at all. His eyes are closed, head leaned against the window and his chest slowly rising and falling. Here I thought he was defying Ian for me, when he was just sleeping. I’m such a fool.
I direct my gaze out his window, but it’s too dark to see anything outside properly. Instead, my own reflections peers back at me.
I’m not sure when I started silently crying, but my eyes immediately snap to the streaks of mascara blemishing my skin. I see the tears streaming down my face second, first drawn to the imperfections in my makeup.
Things may have changed. My appearance is no longer the same. The alphas permit me to go out for walks, instead of being instructed to stay inside all the time.
Yet for all that’s different, I still feel as foolish and small as the teen omega who’d spilled her wine in front of the pack’s investors nine years ago.