Chapter 10
Ariana
Ican definitively say I’ve sobered by the time Ian parks and presses the button to turn the car’s engine off. I let Cole wrap his arm around my waist and help me walk regardless, eager for the stability of his touch.
But I’m not the only one desperate for comfort, apparently. I smell her before I see her. The saccharine sweet of her scent wraps around us as the elevator rises closer to our floor, infused with distress and desperation.
Amy stands teary eyed, clinging to the bottom of the same dress she’d been wearing when we’d left earlier. She’s clearly been waiting for us. The elevator doors have hardly opened before she flings herself into Liam’s arms, wrapping her arms around him and blubbering into his blazer.
My sage scented alpha responds with the same urgency, immediately pulling her close to stroke her hair.
“Hush,” I can hear him chide her gently, half muffled by her sobs. He purrs for her and I have to fight against the growl that rises up my own chest at the sound.
I refuse to let it or the tears that once again begin to cloud my vision out. Not in front of everyone. My vulnerability gained me nothing in the car, and now I want to hold it close to my chest and shelter it.
Hers gains her everything, though. All three alphas utter some form of sympathy, offering her a hand or touch. Watching it almost feels worse than being chastised in the car.
“Why don’t we get you into bed, hm?” Liam pulls back from their embrace to look at her. “Would you like that?” Amy nods, wiping her nose with the back of her hand.
The four of them split. Ian stands back, leaning against the wall of our perfumed entryway. Liam and Amy join hands, turning to walk inside. Cole returns to my side, reeking of her scent but still, he’s next to me, holding my hand.
This seems to come as a surprise to Ian. “Amy needs you right now, Cole.”
“So does Ari if you’re going to tell her.” Cole says thoughtfully. His words make my stomach sink. I knew there was something loaded in the glances Liam and Ian had exchanged earlier.
“Amy is an omega of this pack too. She’s crying. Go to her.” Ian’s voice isn’t quite as cold as it was in the car earlier, but it’s grown sterner from his surprised tone before.
Cole hesitates, looking between him and I. Amy and Liam have stopped in the doorway to the apartment, watching.
“Please,” Amy holds out an arm towards Cole, eyes pitifully wide.
I squeeze Cole’s hand, hoping he can feel me pleading through the bond. He returns my squeeze with one of his own reassuringly. He’s always been the gentlest of my alphas. Whatever it is Ian has to tell me, at least Cole will be by my side for it.
Except he releases my hand after his squeeze, leaving my palm cold and my heart sunken in betrayal. Fool me once, shame on him. Fool me twice, shame on me. But is it so wrong to believe my alpha will have my back?
When it’s between supporting me and listening to Ian it is, apparently. First in the car, and now again in our foyer. It’s an alpha’s world and the rest of us just live in it. I should stop being surprised he picks Ian over me.
Being aware his actions will be hurtful doesn’t make them sting any less, though. He laces the same hand he held mine with in Amy’s and the three of them head inside.
Ian waits for them to be gone before he turns to me. “Let’s go.” He ventures off behind them, but I stay rooted in place. The image of the three of them walking away is seared into my mind, and the idea of entering the hallway to follow behind the clouds of their pheromones repulses me.
He’s halfway down the corridor before he realizes I haven’t moved. “Follow me!” Ian uses his bark on me, making me flinch at the sharp and commanding words. My legs wrench forward of their own volition, feet dragging against the floor.
I stagger, still in the thin high heels Liam chose for me. Despite the ache in my ankles, I don’t stop or lean against the walls. Under the orders of his bark, I have no choice but to wobble after Ian.
He leads me to his office, scraping the legs of a chair against the floor as he pulls it out. I wince at the noise, mentally apologizing to our downstairs neighbors.
“Sit,” he directs me again.
I hesitate, looking at the seat. Whatever he has to say to me, I almost don’t want to hear it.
I want to run the other way and keep running until I manage to run back in time, to before Amy and even before my pack, to when I was a kid with my family.
Then I want my mom and dads to tuck me into bed and tell me I had a bad dream.
But this is not a dream and I cannot avoid whatever Ian wants to inform me of anymore than I can return to the past. Still, I want to prolong it as long as I can.
It’s immature, but it’s been a long night, my feet are sore, and I can still feel the ghost of where Cole let go of my hand to hold Amy’s instead.
He sighs at my unmoving figure. “You can do this the easy way or I can make you, Ariana.”
An apt summary of the last nine years in one sentence, I’d say. Not aloud, of course. I don’t say anything. Like I’ve always done, I listen. I settle onto the seat before he barks again.
My alpha pushes the chair in for me. He’s done it a million times before, but this one feels almost foreign or alien to me. It’s not his usual gentlemanly push, but not quite as harsh as a shove either. It’s as if he jerked the chair in, unsure of whether to be rough or gentle.
But this is Ian. Uncertainty isn’t in his nature. Whatever reason makes his hands linger above my shoulders once he’s pushed my seat forward, it isn’t one I’m privy to.
I don’t ask before he walks away, leaving me alone in his office. Nor does he ask if I want any when he returns with a bottle of liquor and a glass. What a good conversation the two of us have.
Our silence grows as he takes his time, pouring himself the dark amber alcohol. He drinks it in one go, then pours himself another. Across the desk, he takes his own seat in his weathered chair.
It always feels wrong to sit directly across from him like this in his office, instead of at his side from his usual spot at the head of the table.
Things feel wrong as a whole tonight. Ian holds his glass up, studying the crystal and the liquor inside in the light.
Finally, he sets it on the desk between us alongside the bottle and meets my gaze.
“Ariana Hale. Ten years go by in the blink of an eye, don’t they?” The question seems to be aimed more at himself than it is at me. “Well, nine. Ten soon.”
The haziness in my eyes from the mix of earlier’s alcohol and the tears clouding my vision have disappeared, making me look at Ian with newfound clarity. I’m not the only one time’s passed for.
There’s silver streaked into my pack lead’s dark hair now, despite him not yet being forty. Lines have collected on his face, a testament to the long hours he’s spent working.
“We couldn’t have asked for a better scent match, Ariana. Truthfully.” His pale eyes flit between me and the bottle as he pours himself another glass.
“We’ve had some good times.”
I don’t echo whether he’s the best scent match I could have asked for. He’s not the worst. I do love him. There’s just times where if I stay up too late at night, I start to wonder if I hate him too.
“Have we?” He leans forward, settling his head on his hands and focusing his intense stare on me. I don’t squirm under his gaze, too exhausted. “Would you say so?”
“I would.” I answer him levelly. It’s not like him to beat around the bush.
He announced Amy was coming over breakfast casually.
She hasn’t been here long, but that bit of news changed the pack colossally.
His whiskey scent doesn’t smell of apprehension or the anger from earlier.
It’s as neutral as his stoic expression.
He studies my face, pale eyes searching for a trace of a lie. “I agree. You’re a good omega, Ariana.” Rather than praising me, he says it with the air of a man simply stating a fact. It doesn’t make me preen like his acknowledgment normally would, too busy waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“But?”
“But nothing. You’re a good omega. I’m aware we can be harsh on you. It’s only because I see the potential in you. The rest of us are always improving. We want you to be doing the same.”
He sighs. “I’m sure that comes off as us being unfair at times. But you haven’t exactly been fair to us either.”
His words make me sit up straight. “What?”
Unfair? I’ve done everything they’ve ever asked of me. How have I ever wronged them?
Ian continues, unphased. “You want to know what Amy’s contribution here is? Think, Ariana. What haven’t you given us?”
“Everything?” I ask, astounded, rising out of my seat. “You say jump, I freaking ask you how high? What more do you want?” I’m not quite yelling, but it may be the angriest I’ve ever been in front of Ian.
“A baby, Ariana. We want a baby.” It’s like he’s slapped me across the face. “That’s why Amy’s here.”
Ian’s not emitting more than his normal dominance. There’s not even any aggression in his pheromones. So why do I recoil like he’s kicked me in the stomach?
“But…what?” I look around the room in half confusion. It doesn’t make sense. “But you have me.”
He’s not a gentle man, but he doesn’t look at me unkindly. “It’s been nearly ten years since we were bonded, sweetheart. Don’t you think if it was going to happen with you, it would have by now?”
I wrap my arms around my stomach protectively, as if trying to shield my womb from his words. “I’m only twenty seven. I’m still young. I have time.”
“You’re basically twenty eight,” he points out. “That’s not that young. We’re not young anymore, Ariana. I want an heir.”
I sink back into the chair, knees suddenly weak. “And that’s what Amy’s for,” I realize, dots finally connecting.
“Don’t be mad. It’s the natural next step for packs after bonding.” He ruffles through the papers on his desk, back to his casual state like he didn’t just drop a bomb on me.