Chapter 24
Ariana
There’s no scent.
When I wake up, there’s always the smell of one person or another. Now, there’s only the faint fragrance of citrus detergent. It leaves me disoriented and momentarily unsure of where I am.
Then it all comes flooding back. Ian pushing me into the elevator, Cole turning away from me. Liam shielding Amy from my sight, her smirk watching it all unfold. The rain soaking me from head to toe.
Jason finding me in the dead of night and lifting me into his arms. Evan tenderly brushing my hair, then patting it dry. Nico’s unending stream of honeyed tea and pancakes, Sebastian feeding me and tucking me into bed.
I open my eyes.
The bedroom’s grand. Larger than even Ian’s master bedroom in our apartment. His apartment. I don’t know what to consider it. I don’t want to think about it.
I turn back to studying my surroundings instead. The bed is soft and matches the scale of the rest of the room. It’s bigger than king-sized, one of the custom types built for packs to fit multiple alphas. There’s two blankets over me, and more across the room.
Weighted, fuzzy, thin, knitted, all in every color imaginable. Pillows too, just as varied. A box sits without a cover, filled with what looks like strings of fairy lights. Besides the ones I use now, everything sits untouched.
Untouched seems fitting for the room as a whole. No scent, no nest. It seems almost sterile. The materials for a nest are laid out but undisturbed. It’s an immense amount of preparation for a pack that seems to not have used it.
Arranged for an omega that never came, maybe? Or for an omega that never stayed.
Despite my attempts to avoid the topic, it makes my thoughts stray to my pack. I feel like shit. I’m not sure if it’s because I hate them or if some pathetic part of me misses them. It could be both. It could be neither.
Bitterly, I think it’s betrayal. I knew things would never be the same. I’d spent the day mourning the fact. But the look on Ian’s face chilled me in a way that makes me shudder even under the blankets.
He had relished pushing me into the elevator. We’re scent matches. I wouldn’t have missed or mistaken the rush of exhilaration in his scent. There wasn’t a word of protest from anyone as I was thrown out.
I thought I’d steeled myself for it. Is there any way to prepare for abandonment? It’s not even the part that rattles me most. What makes my blood freeze hums in my chest, faint, but still there.
The bond is unbroken. My pack’s cast me aside, but they’re not done with me yet. Their leash is still intact.
Ian had been angry enough to throw me onto the ground and order me starved. My one sanctuary, my nest, he wanted stripped of every piece I spent ten years cultivating. There’s no telling what he’ll do when he sees I’ve ventured off. It’s not like Cole can track my location without my phone.
A knock at the door makes me freeze. My stomach drops, remembering what happened the last time someone came into the room as I slept. I pull the blanket over my face out of instinct as the door slowly opens.
“Ariana?” It’s not one of the harsh voices from yesterday though. It’s Nico. I peek my eyes out to see him holding a tray and frowning.
Evan pops up behind him, looking over his shoulder. “Sorry,” he whispers. “We thought we’d just place it here and leave when you didn’t answer. We didn’t mean to scare you.”
“No,” I sit up, Sebastian hurrying over to help me do so. “Sorry, I’m just jumpy. This looks great.”
Nico’s set the tray over my lap. It’s simple, easy to digest food. Eggs, toast, fruit, oatmeal, pancakes again. It’s the first breakfast I’ve had in ages, and the first time it’s been brought to me in bed ever. I’m not used to this thoughtfulness.
“You don’t have to eat it all,” Sebastian says. “But you should eat something.”
I nod, throat tight from the unexpected kindness. I don’t think I can stomach food right now, but it’s considerate.
“I think I have to go back to my pack.” It nauseates me to say. But it might be better to return now, before Ian’s wrath festers and gets worse.
The four alphas in the room all shift at that, exchanging looks.
“You think it’s a bad idea.” They may not say as much, but their actions do.
“Do you think that’s the best place to be right now?” Nico asks gently.
“They’re my matches. It’s where I belong.”
Evan sits on the bed next to my feet. “Do you think matches are everything?”
“That’s what we’re built for. Omegas and alphas. It means we’re meant to be.”
“Does it? Your alphas left you out in the cold rain by yourself. We know your matches would do that. Would men who love you do that, though?” Jason’s words are cold.
He leans against the wall behind Evan, shaking his head.
“It’s not about what your body makes you do.
It’s what, who and what you choose. They chose to leave you by yourself.
Are you going to go crawling back just because you match them? ”
“I don’t know,” I whisper.
Nico smiles at me ruefully. “I think you do. You’re just not ready to say it aloud, are you?”
“You’re not going back there.” I open my mouth, but Sebastian continues before I speak. “I may not be your current pack’s alpha, but I am an alpha and I will command you if I have to.”
No one is my alpha, that’s the problem. I’ve spent a decade with my entire identity centered around being someone’s omega.
Sebastian crosses his arms. “Ariana, don’t try to convince us this is about love. How long are we going to keep dancing around the fact that you’re absolutely terrified of them?”
He sits down on the bed next to me, voice growing gentler but remaining firm. “You don’t have to be afraid here. I won’t let them hurt you. We told you we wanted to help, didn’t we? We’ll protect you, I promise.”
I feel like a nuisance, tearing up constantly. I try to contain it, biting down on my trembling lip. The first sob breaks out of me anyway, and now that the floodgates have opened, I can’t stop the rest from following.
Someone swiftly pulls the tray of food off my lap, making space for Sebastian to pull me close. He purrs deeply, the vibration from his chest coursing through me. I melt into it, desperate to feel the sensation closer.
They’re going to protect me. Like I tried to do for Amy. Like I wished someone had done to me before I was marked.
Another alpha’s hand, I assume Nico’s, rubs my back. Once I’ve cried myself out, I linger in Sebastian’s embrace, body suddenly feeling heavy.
“Get some rest. We’re here if you need us.” Sebastian lays me down again, letting Nico tuck me in.
I cling to his wrist as he raises the blanket under my chin. “Can you guys stay? Until I fall asleep, at least.” It’s a childish request. I don’t think they mind.
The four of them fill the giant room, making it look less empty. And their scents are a million times better than the smell of linen. I’ve spent too many nights sleeping alone, I can’t take this cold mattress.
I’m dozing off before I hear their answer, but through my half closed eyelids, I can see them coming closer.