CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE - BIRDIE
I bolt upright, gasping for air. The nightmare clings to me like sticky tar, and I can’t shake it off until arms wrap around me, pulling me free of its hold.
A dim light clicks on, and I blink up into Hog’s face.
He’s taken off his coat, but he’s still dressed in his day clothes, the night air rising off his skin.
I’m vaguely aware of Colt hovering in the distance, the connecting door now hanging awkwardly off its hinge.
It seems that no door is safe from this pack.
“It’s okay, Omega,” Hog rumbles, rocking me like I’m a child.
It’s a strange feeling. I don’t remember the last time I was in this position, but there’s something soothing about the movement.
As if Hog could just make everything go away simply by holding me close to his chest. “You’re safe. It’s just a dream.”
I open my mouth to contradict him. I’m never safe. There’s always something waiting in the shadows, ready to chase me through my dreams. But the nightmare is fragmenting like mist. All I remember is a crushing weight and the scent of blood like hot pennies on my tongue.
“No one is getting in here,” he assures me. “We’re not taking our eyes off you.”
A statement like that should fill me with resentment, not warmth. But I’m too damn tired to fight the protective arms around me. And that rocking sensation is starting to grow on me.
“I’ll watch the perimeter,” Colt says softly as he pads back to the door. “Sweet dreams, you two.”
He’s gone before I can respond, the connecting door shoved closed despite its broken hinge. I try to swallow down the ache in my throat, but it catches, and I cough, loud and ugly. Hog hands me a bottle of water from the nightstand, his hand rubbing my back as I take a few unsteady gulps.
“Sorry,” I murmur, trying to push away from his warmth. “It was nothing… A stupid dream.”
Instead of letting me go, he changes position, so I’m sitting across his lap with my head against his shoulder. “Tell me. Sometimes it helps to share.”
I doubt it, but his voice is a soft rumble against my ear, and it seems to shake the words loose. “Walls fell on me, crushing me. They kept coming, brick after brick, and I couldn’t get out. I don’t know if I was dreaming about the alley or the compound…”
“Probably a bit of both.” His tone is matter of fact in a comforting way. He was there. He saw. He knows what I did and he’s still watching me with calm, reassuring eyes. “You need a safe place, Omega. Somewhere you don’t have to keep looking over your shoulder.”
I don’t ever remember having a place like that, but I know that sharing that particular detail with him will only make him sad, and I’m not looking for pity right now.
Maybe it’s the adrenaline prickling over my skin, or the fact that he was there in one of my worst moments, but I’m suddenly very aware of Hog’s arm around my shoulders, our chests only an inch apart.
My barriers must be more fragile than I realize, because as his smoky scent washes over me, my body tightens with arousal.
I gulp it down, closing my eyes to savor the feeling. It’s been so, so long since I felt even a glimmer of interest in any man. It might be my omega nature to seek out big, strong alphas, but I learned a long time ago that size and strength rarely equate to safety and comfort.
But there’s no denying I feel safer here, with his quiet presence filling the room.
Maybe he’s right, and I’m so damn tired because I always have to look over my shoulder.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been fighting every corner alone.
I won’t ever surrender myself, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take a little pleasure when it’s offered.
My body tightens at the thought, humming with his nearness. Maybe it’s just loneliness and the aftermath of a traumatic experience, but I’m suddenly very aware of all the possibilities of the big, warm body against mine.
But first, some ground rules.
“If you ever command me,” I tell him with the ring of steel in my voice, “I might have to obey at first, but I’ll make you regret it.”
He goes still against me. “I’m good at keeping my mouth shut, Omega.”
“Promise me.” I push him back a few inches, but then change my mind, giving his massive bicep a warning squeeze. “I won’t let you control me, Hog. I saw what it did to my mom. Her scent match humiliated her and made her suffer in the worst ways…”
I hate the way my voice breaks, but Hog’s scent wafts over me, soothing a little of my hurt.
“I’m sorry you had to witness that, but that asshole wasn’t a scent mate,” he growls, almost snapping his teeth.
I can feel his heat hammering against my side, his scent souring at the edges.
I’m not sure what he sees in my face, but he rubs a hand over his mouth and says in a gentler voice, “That should have never happened to your mom, no matter their relationship. An alpha’s first duty is to protect an omega, period.
Maybe that’s hard for you to believe, but I promise I’ll never willingly hurt you.
I might fuck up in a general way, but I’ll never use your body, heart, or designation against you. ”
His voice is gruff, his tone fierce, and a few days ago I might have brushed him off.
But something unravels in the pit of my stomach, like an old bruise that suddenly doesn’t ache anymore.
They’re just words – and I’ve heard plenty of empty promises from alphas before – but there’s no hint of deception in Hog’s scent.
He believes what he’s saying, and he really wants me to believe him too.
“Okay.” I push him back on the bed and when he’s lying flat, lean down to stare into his face.
There’s a hint of surprise there, but also a glimmer of heat.
I run my thumb over his cheek, watching his eyes dilate, and feel an answering pulse between my thighs.
“But this is just for tonight, okay? I need to get that nightmare out of my head.”
He hesitates and I narrow my eyes, rejection prickling down my spine. I start to pull away, already kicking myself for giving him a chance. “Unless you don’t want to, obviously.”
“Of course I want to.” He snaps a hand around my waist and blows out a frustrated breath.
“But I have to be honest with you; no part of me is thinking in terms of a one-night arrangement.” He tucks one of those huge hands behind his head, the other rubbing gently over my hip.
“I’m all in, Omega. However much you’ll let me, I’m yours. ”
I could dismiss it as more empty words, but the devotion shining in his honey-brown eyes gives me pause.
Hog took care of Razor for me. I don’t know exactly what happened in that alleyway; I only know I walked away with a dying man’s blood on my boots and no idea how to make things right.
Hog didn’t stop to weigh the angles or consider the consequences.
He simply stepped in, and one of my worst nightmares disappeared.
That isn’t the random act of a stranger.
It’s what an alpha does to protect his pack.
“Just let me distract you,” he murmurs when the silence stretches between us. “It can just be that much for tonight.”
I’m still wary, but he tightens his grip on my hip, and my need for him takes over. I reach for his face, my fingers threading through his silken beard. I can feel the ridge of scar tissue under it, and I stroke it gently with my thumb as I slide across his lap.
I’m wearing a tank and sweats, my shoulders exposed to his view. He kisses his way from my jaw to my collarbone, but a rumble vibrates in his chest as his lips reach my scars. “Those motherfuckers.”
“Wrong kind of distraction,” I reply, using his words against him. “Want me to turn out the light?”
“Only if it makes you more comfortable.” He plants a kiss on the freshest scar, then turns liquid honey eyes my way. “But you gotta know, every part of you is mesmerizing to me, Omega. The scars are just part of your story.”
I’m tempted to smile, but reach over and switch the lamp off before he can see it. I’m okay with opening up a little, but I don’t want to give away too much. The darkness gives me a veil of protection, and I reach for Hog greedily, humming my approval as his lips meet mine.
The kiss is as good as the last one. Maybe it’s even better, because I’m not holding back this time.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a distraction or plain need - I want Hog – and he responds by slowly invading my mouth with his lips and tongue.
He seems to find some irresistible line between pushy and sweet, a gentle but persistent assault that has me melting in his arms.
When a soft sigh passes through me, he eases me down to the mattress, our bodies aligned at chest and hip.
I can feel his arousal pressing against his fatigues, but he doesn’t reach for his zipper or try to grind it against my thigh.
All of his focus is on our slow, drugging kisses and I find myself leaning into him, my hand tugging on his hip.
“Let me take my time,” he says quietly, feathering kisses over my cheek. “I want to treasure this.”
It’s such a strange word coming out of an alpha’s mouth, but for some reason it works, my impatience draining away. If Hog wants to savor me like a fancy meal, who am I to complain?
He grunts with approval as I roll onto my back, lifting himself onto one hand so he can kiss his way down my neck.
He avoids the patch of gauze on my throat, but he finds a soft spot behind my ear and nuzzles it.
His smoky scent thickens, and as I take a greedy gulp, I feel a trickle of slick between my thighs.