CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX - BIRDIE
“You want to sit in the sunroom?” Axel asks and I make an effort to get my arms and legs working in tandem as I crawl to the edge of the nest. It’s the fourth day of my heat and probably my last, given the way the haze is starting to clear from my mind.
Not to mention how wrung-out my body feels, like it’s almost reached its quota for muscle-melting orgasms.
Almost, I realize as I roll over and stare up at our pack alpha. Axel’s rut has finally faded, and he’s mostly back to normal. Which means his cock is back to a perfect shade of pink, although his impressive six-pack is still smeared with our juices.
“I meant I’ll carry you,” Axel says, scooping me into his arms and heading towards the door. “I was just checking on the destination.”
“I really think I can walk as far as the sunroom,” I murmur, even as I wrap my arms around his neck and rub my cheek against his chest. The little hairs on his nape buzz my palms, and I realize that my heat has messed up Gung Ho’s grooming schedule.
I smirk, because for some reason that little disruption makes me feel smug.
“We’re all gonna be a touchy for a while,” he says as we cross the living room. “Staying close helps.”
I hum, since staying close is definitely my objective right now. I’m distantly aware of my empty stomach and sticky hair, but these are trivial concerns next to warm alpha skin and hard alpha cocks…
Okay, so there’s definitely still a little heat lingering under the surface.
“Is this why heatmoons are a thing?” I ask as Colt and Hog follow us into the sunroom, looking as blissed out – and worn out - as I feel. “I read it in one of Charlie’s magazines.”
“Yeah, for sure,” Colt mumbles into the daybed he’s flopped onto.
“You might have a few spikes over the next couple of days, so it’s good to stay close to a big, comfy bed.
” He rolls to look at me through hooded eyes.
“We should give you a heatmoon as soon as the mission is over. Somewhere tropical, where all you need is an itty-bitty bikini and some tequila shots.”
I shoot him a wink, but Hog plants his hands on his hips, his attention on Axel. “We’re still on track for that?”
“Unless we come up with concrete evidence against the general, we still have our orders.”
Axel’s uneasiness prickles over my skin, but it’s a loving caress compared to the scowl on Hog’s face. “This pack has to be our priority. Booth can send someone else to go bleed in the desert.”
Colt’s eyebrows shoot up, but Axel goes still. “What are you saying, Haven? You want out?”
The air is suddenly thick with tension, but Hog just shrugs. “I’m saying that we’ve done our time. We’ve sacrificed more than most.”
Their scents sour in unison, a throb of grief filling the air, but Colt gives an uncertain nod. “We talked about it before. Starting up a security firm. Babysitting CEOs who want to play golf in war zones, and shit.”
I’m not sure I approve of that job description, but I’m curious that Hog, the legendary hunter of gunmen, is considering hanging up his sniper rifle. “Is that what you want?” I ask him quietly.
He’s in front of me in a heartbeat, his face fierce as he stares down at me. “You’re what I want. Everything else is just annoying shit that I can’t avoid.”
I smirk, stupidly happy at his stalker mentality. The old me would’ve been running for the hills, but I’ve seen unhealthy obsession before, and this is not it.
“Um, if we’re talking about annoying shit,” Colt says from the daybed, “shouldn’t we take care of this Reeves asshole?”
Axel looks grim as he sets me down beside Colt. “If we try to do it before the mission, it’s gonna be tight. We need to surveil the lab, recon his movements… That will take time we don’t have, especially since we still need to finish prepping for the mission.”
Hog’s eyes narrow. He’s clearly unimpressed that his pack alpha is back in team leader mode, but I’m surprised by the anger of Colt’s face.
“So we either endanger the mission, or endanger our omega? I think we all know we’re our priority should be.
” He slings an arm around my shoulder, enveloping me in his chocolate sunshine scent.
“I’m with the big guy on this. Booth will just have to push it back again or find another team. ”
I rest my head against his shoulder, but there’s another piece to this puzzle that I’ve held back for too long. I glance at Hog, but it’s like he can already sense my unhappiness through whatever bond there is between us. Which means, of course, that all three alphas are suddenly on high alert.
“What is it, sweetheart?” Colt asked, tweaking my hair. “Why do you smell like the roof’s about to fall in?”
I squirm unhappily at the metaphor. Silence would be so much easier, but I force the confession out.
“I haven’t told you everything. A couple of nights before we met, Reeves took me to a meeting.
He told me I had to impress this important army guy because he held my life in the balance.
” I peek up at them through my lashes. “It was General Booth.”
Axel looks like he’s taken a fist to the gut. “Booth knows Reeves?”
“Well enough to have a private meeting over whiskey at his house. They didn’t seem to like each other much, but they weren’t strangers.”
Hog balls his fists so tight, the knuckles crack. “Motherfucker.”
“So that’s the connection,” Colt says softly, stretching out my arm and running a finger over my tattoo. “You were sold to Reeves, who took you to Booth, who sent you to us.”
“Yes,” I say miserably. “I was part of a program Reeves called Broken Wing. Abused omegas sent to rehabilitate damaged packs. Don’t ask me how, exactly, but I think the general wanted to get you out of the cabin and back to work.
” I don’t say that he wanted them to stop grieving Charlie, but the implication is obvious.
“Reeves, though… I’m guessing he had a different agenda. ”
Axel has backed away, like he needs the wall at his back to stay upright. I try to read his face, but it’s a mask. Only his eyes are burning, and I don’t want to look too close at those. “You were sent to fix us? How?”
“To make you mission ready, I think was the term. Reeves had some phony science around it. How packs as dominant as yours need to be given a purpose, like taking a broken bird under their wing…”
Colt wiggles out from under me, too agitated to stay still. He rubs the sore spot on his scalp as he paces in front of the window. “Shit. That’s how they came up with the name Birdie, right? It had nothing to do with Beatrice. It was all you.”
“It was all them,” I correct him, feeling my throat catch.
He’s staring at me with a stranger’s eyes and I can feel my heart shriveling, curling up like an old leaf in the summer’s heat.
“I know this sounds like I tricked you, but I didn’t exactly volunteer.
I was just glad it got me out of Reeves’ lab.
I hadn’t seen the sky for months, and when I heard you lived in a cabin…
” I look around, but none of them will meet my eyes. “I thought I could…”
“Escape.” It’s Hog, sounding like gravel tumbling down a hill.
I nod, but the silence stretches, as painful as any wound. And then all three of them are stepping back, closing down, turning away…
I push myself off the daybed, even though my knees turn to water under me and I have to grab the wall.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you!” Tears burn the back of my eyes, but I blink them away.
“I never wanted any part of their bullshit! But I had no choice.” Axel stares blankly at me, and I turn to Hog.
His gaze is locked on the ground, so I try Colt.
I can see compassion there, but there’s hurt too, and I hate myself for that.
“Do you get what that’s like? Never ever getting a choice?
” I slam a hand at the window, hard enough to rattle the glass.
“I’m like one of those waves out there. Tossed and dragged about with no way to break free. ”
Colt nods, but he walks straight through the French doors and doesn’t stop. Not a word or a smile. Just his feet padding over the sandy path as he heads to the beach.
I shiver, feeling the loss more than I want to admit. I wrap my arms around myself as Axel steps up to me. Close enough to hold my attention, but too far away to touch. “We just need time,” he says in a toneless voice. “We have to think. To try and work out… a few things.”
I nod, miserable.
Me. They have to work out what to do with me.
I don’t look up as he leaves, so I’m not expecting Hog to cup my cheek, much less brush his lips over mine.
When he pulls back, my cheeks are wet, and there’s a fierce look in his eyes.
“You don’t apologize for other people’s cruelty, Omega.
You just save it up and find a way to make them pay with interest.”
Hog leads me to the shower and washes me, like I’m back to being that broken shadow of an omega who can barely look after herself.
He washes me carefully, and doesn’t stop until the water has run cold and I’m slumped against the glass.
Everything aches; all the nicks, and bruises, and scratches that I was so proud of, now flinching under the gentle brush of his hands.
When he’s done, he carries me out of the bathroom and down the corridor to his room.
He doesn’t ask and I don’t complain. I just want to be near him, and I don’t care about the destination.
I grimace at the memory of the affection in Axel’s voice as he asked where I wanted him to carry me.
After days of being so conflicted, he’d sounded light, almost cheerful.
Maybe it was just those happy knot hormones Colt was talking about, but I want to believe a little bit of it was because of me.
I might be a liar and a disloyal packmate, but my heat was epic, even by Omega Allure standards.
Until I went and ruined it with a stupid confession.