CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
The next morning when I woke up, I felt totally different. The throbbing pain and loss were still there, but I had messed up with Camden, too. I’d been afraid and let my fear of rejection and failure drive me away from him. I’d had all my excuses, but in the end they didn’t add up to a whole lot other than what I’d so stupidly given up.
I was going to call him. After I did what I could to straighten out the rest of my life.
My first stop was Gerald’s office. He’d received my messages over the weekend and was already hard at work on our defense if we were served. We talked about the possible repercussions, like what would happen if we had to go to court. Unfortunately at the moment we were in a holding position, waiting for the Vinnie- and Amber-type clients to file suits against us.
I told him about my fear that my business would fold, as we’d relied on discretion. I couldn’t see anyone wanting to hire us again. Gerald, ever the realist, agreed with me that it might be a possibility and said he’d work on next steps.
It was depressing news, but at least I had a game plan. As Krista had kept reminding me, I wasn’t in control. But if I made plans the best I could and kept moving forward, things would be okay.
On my way to the office, my mom called me. I felt a twinge of guilt that I hadn’t been returning her calls. Before I could even say hello or acknowledge her, she said, “You’re one of those internet means.”
“It’s meme, Mom.”
“Mememom?” she repeated.
“No, it’s just meme. I was—” I stepped off the curb to cross the street and decided that I didn’t have it in me to explain what I meant. I already felt emotionally spent and it was only ten o’clock in the morning. “Don’t worry about it. Some celebrity will get pregnant or go to rehab or reveal that they’re a secret cannibal and then people will forget all about me.”
“You’ve worked so hard to be successful and keep things secret and now it’s everywhere. People are making fun of you and that wedding. I’m upset for you.”
That made two of us, but I didn’t need her to get riled up in my defense. “I promise that everything is going to be okay.” It probably wasn’t something I should be promising, but she wasn’t the only one who needed to hear it.
“We just worry about you.”
“I know you do.” And I understood that her worry and wanting me to be the best were another way for her to say that she loved me.
“I hope you know that all Dad and I want is for you to be happy.”
Stopping in front of my favorite bakery, I smiled, even though she couldn’t see me. “I do know that, Mom. I’ll call you later.”
I ordered two dozen doughnuts and waited while they boxed them up for me. I found my mind drifting and I wondered what Camden was doing right then. He still had his company going public this week. He had to be really busy, especially considering all the phone calls he’d ignored while we’d been together. He might have a ton of fires to put out.
Had any of these videos blown back on their company? He had been very concerned about how investors perceived their reputation. I hoped none of this had affected them.
Maybe I should wait to call him until after his deal went through. He already had so much on his plate.
I paid for my order and the clerk handed me my boxes and then I walked the two blocks to my office. When I got to my floor I didn’t go through the front doors, preferring to sneak in through the back entrance that was directly next to my office. I’d emailed the receptionist, Brinley, early this morning to have her call everyone and tell them to come in for a staff meeting. The doughnuts were my feeble attempt to make sugary amends for everything that had gone down.
After making my way to the conference room, I found to my surprise that everyone had already arrived. They seemed like they’d been talking for a while.
I stood in the doorway for a second and heard my most recent hire, Heather, say, “He was the cutest guy ever and wanted to take me out. I said no because of Rachel’s rule but I really wanted to go.”
Her words struck me. That rule, based on something that had happened to me years ago, was stupid. I was so shut off from relationships and the possibility of meeting someone new that I’d clung to it in order to deny my growing feelings for Camden.
Dan had given Camden a dumb rule, and Camden had totally ignored it. I was Dan, trying to stop my employees and friends from living their lives and flirting with people they met at weddings. As if I could control any of that. I hadn’t even been able to control it for myself.
I’d been at fault for more than one thing.
Someone noticed me and shushed the other women. I had anticipated getting here before all of them, but Krista’s knowing grin made me think she was responsible for everyone gathering early.
I put the doughnuts on the table and it seemed like such a small gesture in light of what was going on. There was no way for me to make this better for them.
“Thanks, everybody, for coming,” I said as I walked to the head of the table. I didn’t sit down; I had too much nervous energy to do anything but pace back and forth.
“You don’t need to say anything,” Krista told me. “We are all a hundred percent on your side and will do whatever you need us to do.”
“I don’t know that it will be that easy. I promise that I’m going to be transparent in every decision I make and get your input. This is your company, too. We are all in this together.”
Desiree raised her hand, like we were in a classroom, and then spoke. “What’s going to happen?”
“Gerald doesn’t have any answers yet. Unfortunately I think we’re going to have to wait and see. We’ll reach out to the brides who have already hired us and see how they’re feeling about going forward. If we’re able to stay in business, things are going to change.”
It was time to let things go. I couldn’t be in control of everything. I continued, “Our rule about secrecy will most likely change. That and the no-dating-guests rule.”
There were a couple of gasps and some little cheers.
“I know how you guys feel about it. I was just afraid that if you got involved with someone from a wedding we’d get caught if we slipped up. Which happened anyways. I just wanted to, I don’t know, protect you guys.”
Desiree said with a patient smile, “We don’t need your protection. We are grown women who can take care of ourselves.”
“I know that. I wasn’t trying to imply otherwise.” I took a deep breath, willing myself not to get emotional. Did they know how important they were to me?
“And we appreciate it,” Krista interjected. “We know how much you care.” There was a murmur of agreement from the rest of the group.
“Thanks,” I said. “And we are where we are. We made our bed, and I guess now we have to lie in it.”
Krista said, “At least we did a really good job of it. There’s a fancy comforter and a bed skirt and pillows no one’s allowed to sleep on.”
“Thanks, guys,” I said with a smile. “Get in touch with the brides you’re currently working with and I’ll meet with you individually later to see where things stand.” People got up, some left the room, others grabbed doughnuts. Krista came over and hugged me, correctly sensing that I needed it.
She walked back to my office with me. “Can I get you anything? A coffee? Crumbs from the doughnuts that haven’t been devoured yet?”
“I’m good. Thank you.” I had some damage control to do. Gerald had advised against me contacting Bridezilla Amber or Angry Vinnie. He wanted me to do all my communication with them through him and I didn’t pay the man hundreds of dollars an hour to ignore his advice. But there were other clients, both current and former, that I could reach out to.
Brinley burst into my office, carrying a stack of pink notes. “Rachel! You’re here! I didn’t know you were here!”
“I came in the back,” I said, pointing over my shoulder. “What’s up?”
“What is up?” she repeated, pushing her glasses back up her nose. “Do you see this? There is a pile of voice mails and messages that I’ve taken this morning.”
My stomach sank. “From clients who are upset?”
“What? No. This is from people who want to hire us.” She shoved the pink messages into my hands. “People are clamoring for our services. And we’ve had at least thirty different phone calls from media outlets—newspapers, magazines, online sites—who want to talk to us about what we do. They’re calling you a genius for ‘filling an obvious need in the market.’ This has blown up in the best way possible!”
I sat down in my chair, ready to put my head between my knees. This was such good news. Such. Good. News. I’d thought I’d ruined everything and to find out that I hadn’t? I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so relieved.
“I’m going to tell everyone,” Krista said.
I got her inclination. I sort of wanted to do that, too.
Brinley handed me another message. “This woman said you have to call her first, right away. That it’s very important. She made me swear.”
My first thought was that my mom had gotten impatient, but then I saw the name. Sadie.
I dialed her number immediately and Brinley left my office, closing the door behind her.
Sadie answered on the first ring. “Hello?”
“It’s Rachel! How are you?”
“I’m great. It’s you I’m worried about. I left you a couple of voice mails. How are you?”
I got that throat-thickening sensation, but I wasn’t going to cry. “I’ve been better. I saw your video. Thank you for that. I was so worried that my entire company would immediately fold, but our phone has apparently been ringing off the hook with people who want to hire us.”
“You should see my DMs and email! So many people want to talk to me about this. They’re saying I’m a trendsetter. I’ve added like, a hundred thousand new followers since the reception.”
“That is fantastic!” I was thrilled that something good had come out of all this mess.
“Not only that, but my mom was able to see how she was acting and she’s been talking about going to rehab. I don’t know if she actually will, but I’m really hopeful that this time things might be different.”
“Sadie, that makes me so happy for you.”
“Thank you.” She paused, as if waiting for me to say something in return, but then went on. “Anyway, I was just calling to check on you. To see how you were doing and if anything’s changed. You know, in your life.”
I’d just told her how much better things were. That was kind of a weird thing to say.
She kept on in that sort of rambling tone. “So ... I’m going to get back to Dan. Let’s keep in touch, okay?”
I promised I would and hung up my phone. I started thumbing through the messages, excited that even if we were sued we might still be able to find a way to stay in business.
Brinley buzzed my phone and I pushed the intercom button. “Yes?”
“There’s someone here in the conference room that wants to talk to you about an event on Friday.”
“Thank you!” It was kind of last minute, but we’d certainly done it before. I stood up and my office phone buzzed again from Krista’s extension.
When I pushed the button she said, “Sadie and Krista ex machina for the win!” and hung up.
What was that supposed to mean? I nearly called her back for an explanation but I wasn’t in a position to keep a potential client waiting. I walked into the conference room and my heart came to a complete and total stop when I saw who was standing there.
Camden.