CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
This was what Krista had meant and why Sadie had been strange. They’d set this up.
He stood there in a slate-gray suit that looked like it had been tailored specifically for him. He was impossibly handsome and I was having a hard time breathing.
“Hello, Rachel.”
For a second I thought maybe I was hallucinating from lack of sleep but when he spoke his voice had that melting effect on my knees and I knew that it was him. He was here.
“Why?” I asked, and then modified it because he couldn’t hear what I was thinking in my head. “Why are you here?”
He smiled mysteriously. I’d missed him so much that I was aching from it. I wanted nothing more than to run across the room and launch myself at him.
“I thought you never wanted to see me again,” I said, unable to keep the hurt tone out of my voice.
“I never said that, Rachel.”
“But ...” How could I explain everything in just a few words? “You walked away.”
“I said I needed a walk, not that I never wanted to speak to you again.”
Oh. That was true but ... “You didn’t call me.” I left out the part where I hadn’t called him, either, even though I’d really wanted to.
“You’re right. I didn’t. Because what I have to say has to be said in person.” He undid the button on his coat and then put his hands into his pants pockets, like he was preparing for something. “I talked with Sadie. She told me everything.”
“Okay.” I wrapped my arms around my chest, not knowing where this was going.
“I wish you’d stayed so that we could have talked things through.” I wished that, too. I was so afraid of being that vulnerable that I’d flown thousands of miles away from him. He went on, “And I wish that I hadn’t gone for that walk. That I’d given you a chance to explain. It was just sort of like all of my worst fears were being confirmed and that you’d been using me and I was too stupid to figure it out.”
“I know how afraid you’ve been for this deal. I get it. It’s one of the reasons I was scared to tell you. Given your past and what you were going through I thought you wouldn’t be able to forgive me.”
“Rachel.” He shook his head and there was so much tenderness in his gaze that I let my arms drop and only just refrained from going over to hug him. “You were lying about something that you were legally obligated to lie about. I’m not angry about that. I just wish that you hadn’t made up your mind as to how I’d react without even giving me a chance.”
“You’re right,” I agreed. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“I promise from now on that I will always stay and listen. I’m also sorry that I hurt you. That is the absolute last thing I would ever want to do. Can you forgive me?”
I had a hard enough time resisting him when I wasn’t allowed to be with him. Now that all those restrictions were gone? How could I say no? “Of course I can. But only if you forgive me, too.”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” he said as he started to slowly walk toward me. “It seems like we both run away from things that make us uncomfortable. I promise to stop, if you will, too. At least with each other.”
He got so close to me that it took every bit of strength I possessed not to wrap myself around him. “I kind of want to run away right now,” I confessed.
Camden reached up and put his hand on the side of my face, and I leaned into his touch. “That’s fine. Whenever you feel like you need to run, know that I’ll always understand. And that I’ll come and find you.”
I breathed his name, so thankful to have him here. “You’re really not mad that I lied?”
“Rachel, the things I know about you, the things I can’t live without, not one of those has anything to do with you being Sadie’s friend. I would still feel this way even if there hadn’t been any wedding. No Sadie and no Dan, if we’d met at a party or in a bar this thing between us still would have happened. I liked you from the first time we met and used my suspicions as an excuse to get close to you.”
“I used the NDA as my excuse to keep my distance,” I told him. “That and the whole not-dating-wedding-guests thing, which isn’t a rule anymore.”
“Good. But I think we didn’t finish up our truth game. There are some things about me you should know.” He put his hands on my waist, pulling me closer, and I breathed him in, happily. “I snore. I’m kind of a slob. I work too much.”
“Me? I sleep like the dead. I find cleaning therapeutic. And I work too much, too.”
“Maybe we can remind each other to slow down.” He touched my hair. “When we’re not in your office, maybe you can take this down for me.”
Anticipatory tingles shot through me. “Or you could do it.”
He kissed me on my nose. “Looking forward to it. Is there anything else you think we should say right now?”
“Maybe we should promise that we won’t lie to each other again.”
“Who wants a relationship based on honesty and actual communication? Ick,” he teased.
My heart beat so hard in my chest I worried I might pass out. He had gone for a walk, but I was the one who had abandoned him more. I’d flown across an ocean and an entire continent to avoid my feelings for him. Maybe it was because of my parents’ expectations, but I’d never been very good with failing or self-forgiveness. I held everything in my life to an unrealistic standard of perfection.
Maybe it was time to change that. To let myself be vulnerable with him. To take that terrifying risk. Even if he didn’t feel the same and ran off screaming. “Honesty is important. I always want to be honest with you.” I took a deep breath and then said, “I love you.”
And whatever I feared or hoped for, he surprised me, leaving me on that ledge alone, not saying anything. His eyes softened, his arms tightened around me, but for a nerve-destroying moment he didn’t speak.
Until he did. “I have something for you.” Then he reached inside his coat pocket and took out a tiny scroll of rolled-up paper and handed it to me. “Here. For your happy box.”
I was still so scared, so unsure, and my hands trembled as I opened it and read it out loud. “You make me laugh.”
What? Then he gave me another one. “You are so talented and brilliant.”
And another. “The happiest I’ve ever been is with you.”
“I admire you.”
“You are beautiful.”
Then there was one more scroll. “This is the most important one,” he said.
I pushed the edges apart and my voice caught as I read, “I’m in love with you.”
He smirked, like he’d made me say something I hadn’t already confessed to. “You love me.”
“You love me, too,” I retorted.
“Potato, tomato.”
At that I laughed and threw my arms around his neck, holding tightly to his messages. I was going to keep those notes for forever.
Him, too, if he’d let me.
“I really do love you,” I said, experiencing such relief at finally being able to express what I’d been feeling for him.
“I know.”
“So I guess this means I like mildew.”
He knit his eyebrows together. “What?”
“You said you’d grow on me like mildew.”
Recognition flooded his features. “I did. And I was right. Like always.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” I said. We didn’t need to start this relationship off with Camden thinking he was always right.
“Your receptionist said you had this Friday free. I’m going to assume that’s true for every Friday for the rest of our lives.”
Happiness spread through me like a warm honey, filling every crevice until there was nothing inside me but love and light. “I’ll have to check my calendar.”
His arms tightened around me. “You do that. But I think if I don’t kiss you soon, our audience is going to riot.”
“What?” I turned my head to see every single one of my employees lined up, watching us through the glass windows like we were their own personal soap opera. Krista was eating the last Bavarian cream and she gave me a big thumbs-up with her free hand.
Camden turned my chin back toward him and captured my mouth with his. I melted against him. Why was it so much more powerful and amazing now that there was a declared emotion behind it? If even a tiny part of me had questioned whether he really was in love with me, that kiss erased all doubt.
He broke away when everybody outside started cheering and chanting my name. He laughed and I traced the outline of the dimple in his left cheek.
Then he said, “So I know you hate it when I ask you questions, but I have this really big one that I’m going to ask you in the not-so-distant future, if that’s okay with you. Just so you know.”
I couldn’t help myself. I absolutely beamed at him.
“What are you grinning about?” he asked, teasing.
“My mom is going to be so happy.”