The Pain We Nurture

The Closet

A couple of weeks later Colin was antsy, feeling like spending more money.

So, he spent time considering Olivia’s nasty words to him weeks ago in their closet about being able to adopt a bunch of children with the amount of money his and her clothes were worth. Then he had her call an orphanage in Africa, China, and Russia and made her donate five hundred thousand dollars to each one.

He was happy with this idea, because she couldn’t even be mad about doing it, because who could be mad when you’re donating to help children?

Surely not Olivia, he thought, pleased with himself.

Afterwards, he took Olivia shopping again for their upcoming Thanksgiving charity gala, finding several dresses that he’d loved on her that he instructed her to present for him like a living doll. Turning on a raised pedestal in front of tri-folded mirrors for him as she posed in dress after dress. He wanted her to pick one, but she insisted it be his choice. Not having ever been to a gala and trusting his judgment more.

Colin settled on a red, slinky satin number with a big bow in the back at her hips. Loving the way it accented her body shape and fell across her breasts and hips.

The event was a few days before Thanksgiving, and she’d spent a couple of days preparing. She’d been waxed, primped, and exfoliated within an inch of her life, but she couldn’t help not relaxing. Not able to relax, even when the manicurists told her to stop tensing her fingers during her manicure. Even her masseuse gave her an extra half hour for free because the massage wasn’t helping.

Olivia had preferred to do her own hair and makeup, not yet ready to take the plunge to go to a hairdresser. She spent half of the day doing her own hair nervously. Wondering if Colin would like it.

It would be so nice to just go and have some fun tonight. Stop being so anxious, she thought as she sat at the vanity and faffed with her waves.

A huge smile broke out on her face when she realized she was really looking forward to her first gala. She sat there, curling iron in her hair, feeling herself start to finally lose some tension as she let herself imagine what tonight was going to be like. She giggled to herself when she thought about spinning on the dance floor. Dancing with Colin. Her eyes went soft.

I bet he dances so well. I bet his body will feel so good gliding against mine too, her thoughts turned to what he said while they were in the gym, and she felt the tension start to creep back. Sighing, she looked over at the small vodka cranberry drink she’d been sipping on, snatching it up and downing it as she pulled the iron out of her hair, enjoying the thick bouncy coil.

She bristled, hating all these feelings, how to navigate them. And she couldn’t even work to get her mind off them.

Olivia bit her lip, wondering if Colin truly enjoyed these events as well, or just attended them out of obligation. Being around influential people for many years, she suspected he was probably bored of these things at this point. Her thoughts shifted once again to the sauna, and the weeks afterwards. She just couldn’t shake him suggesting she was a masochist.

Colin had been working diligently since their talk. A new country was in demand of his software and Johnathan’s cars, and he was at the office late having meeting after meeting. Olivia began falling asleep before he’d even come home because she spent the day working herself to exhaustion anxiously. She’d started going to Vanessa’s house to spend time with her and Allison, not wanting Allison to feel like she was abandoning her.

Olivia knew something was majorly off with herself and didn’t want to bother Colin with it. Not after the conversation they’d had in the sauna. He was getting too close to her secrets.

Smoothing down her red silk dress, she turned once more in the mirror, making sure it hung just right. She was incredibly nervous wearing such a daring, expensive dress, but Colin picked it out especially for her and she wanted to look good for him.

Olivia slipped on a pair of slinky, nude high heel shoes before exiting the closet. She meandered over to the bathroom where Colin had lined his slight beard with the trimmer she’d bought him. He was busy buttoning up his white dress shirt.

Colin’s eyes met hers in the mirror as she appeared in the doorway and froze when he glanced down.

Olivia stepped into the bathroom looking like sex incarnate, his very own Jessica rabbit. The dress flowed over her curves like water, not leaving much to the imagination.

The dress was held up by tiny straps that looped over her shoulder and down the sides of her ribcage, holding up the dress low on her hips. A big bow graced her backside, just slightly above the seam of her ass. Olivia’s full breasts curved lusciously against the neckline that laid whisper soft against her cleavage. Her entire back was bare, her hair tumbling down in heavy waves down her right side. She had a deep side part in her hair; the tresses held in place gently by a clip in the back.

Her eyes were heavily smoked out, accenting the bright green irises and almond shape. She’d left her lips nude and for that, he was so thankful. He didn’t relish the thought of cleaning lipstick off his dick.

Colin felt his body suddenly heat with a dizzying flash of desire, and he grunted softly as he turned to stone in his pants. Heart pounding uncomfortably in his chest, he stared at her as he began threading his tie, struggling to right his sudden rush of emotions. She cleared her throat gently before she raised an eyebrow at him.

“Well, what do you think?” Olivia whispered, making another slow turn for him, clearly expecting him to say something. Her heels clicked adoringly on the marble floor of the bathroom.

“I think I’m trying to invent new ways to fuck you. You in that red dress is going to be the death of me. I knew it when I picked it out,” Colin confessed, letting her plainly see the desire in his eyes.

He cursed himself for not having her body the night before. She had just gotten waxed and there were rules about intimacy regarding that.

He’d been gentle with her in the last couple of weeks since their talk in the sauna, as he wanted her to have time to get to know him before he really unleashed himself. He planned on taking advantage of their agreement soon. Hoping that it would open her mind to her sexuality. The niggling thought in his head pierced hard, warning him that he required his pound of flesh, and soon.

Colin just didn’t want to go about it in a way that would damage her psyche. Despite the peace her presence brought him, it was also costing him to hold himself back for her sake.

He tore his gaze away as he bent an arm to attach a cuff link, glancing back up again when her soft hands replaced his. Attaching it and the next one before smoothing up his shirt and manipulating his tie a little. She tugged and gave him a mischievous smile.

“I’m so nervous,” Olivia whispered, her eyes flickering to his before lowering again. She fussed with his shirt, smoothing down his collar unnecessarily and fiddling with a button. He caught her hand tight in his before leaning down to place a kiss on her fingers.

“You’re exquisite. There’s nothing to be nervous about. I’ll be right there with you the whole time. We’ll go eat expensive food, drink expensive wine, and then dance. I look forward to twirling you around in this dress on the dance floor.”

And peeling it off later with my teeth, Colin thought.

Olivia pressed her lips together and nodded. She reached over and grabbed his beard moisturizer and took time to rub it into the hair on his jaw, taking a tiny comb to comb it in. Olivia’s eyes were bright as he reached over and snagged something off the vanity and held it out to her. A great big dirty emerald stone attached to an elegant chain.

She gasped. Her hand reached out to caress it gently with a finger.

“Ohhhh Colin. This is breathtaking! Oh my goodness,” Olivia breathed, turning when he instructed so he could place the emerald and fasten it around her neck. Colin looked beyond her and at the front of her reflection in the mirror seeing the necklace highlighted her eyes perfectly. He smiled at the pink blush high in her cheeks. “Thank you so much,” she said breathlessly. She touched the emerald again, with a look of wonder on her face.

I can’t believe he gifted me this, she thought. Feeling adored, she bravely fought the tears in her eyes. She immediately cursed herself for being so emotional.

Colin stepped away to check his phone. “Let’s go have some fun. The driver is here,” he said, giving her ass a firm pat and leading her out of the room.

***

Arriving at the gala a bit later, Colin escorted Olivia up the stairs carefully and into the grand old school building and checked her shawl and her clutch in. Leading her into the great dining room, he paused for a minute to let her take it all in.

There were florals everywhere, at every table, on the big stage at the front of the room, dripping from the ceiling. She smiled at him, seeing there were dozens of wait staff walking around with flutes of champagne and small glasses of whiskey. He’d grabbed one of each, handing her the champagne.

“Sir,” Olivia gasped, trying to keep her cool. “This is so beautiful. Thank you for bringing me,” she whispered, pleased when he leaned forward and placed his lips to her temple.

They made their rounds, and Colin introduced her to several people. Some she recognized from the media, and others she’d never heard of but knew were just as important. She was grateful to see that so far there was no one familiar in the throngs of people nestled all over the room.

Olivia was on her second flute of champagne when Colin finally led them to their table, seeing their names and holding out her chair for her to take her seat.

“Thank you,” she said, picking up her refreshing drink and sipping. Scanning the room again. A disconcerted feeling settled in her stomach as she saw a man towards the stage who looked rather like her previous Saturday client. She tensed, trying to remember if there was any time she didn’t wear a mask with him. She shook her head, trying to convince herself the man was just a look alike.

Their table filled up slowly, and Colin wasted no time introducing her to the party there. She laughed, conversed, sipped her wine, and ate daintily as she was terrified to get food on her dress. Before she knew it, they were three quarters of the way through dinner.

Colin leaned forward, placing his hand on Olivia”s knee, causing her to smile prettily at him.

“Are you having a good time, beautiful?” he asked in a low tone, his mouth brushing her ear. She blushed, looking at him and giving him a smile.

“Yes, I”m having an incredible time. This feels like a fairy tale,” Olivia admitted, feeling like it was true. Her initial terror of attending the event had dissipated, and she found she enjoyed conversing with the others at the table. She didn’t feel awkward or out of place, and found she held her own easily. Not needing Colin as a buffer nearly as much as she feared she would.

The lights went low before the speaker came on stage and gave a long speech about the cause they were all there to support, The Charitable Heart Foundation. Before ending her speech, the speaker announced the last event of the evening would be a raffle, all the proceeds going to the charitable cause. She’d announced the winners quickly, Colin nor Olivia winning anything, before announcing the dance floor would be open after dessert.

Olivia was in the middle of a bite of the creamiest éclair she’d ever had when her worst nightmare happened. She’d been busy laughing with Colin at something when she suddenly heard a familiar older voice say, “McDermont! Is that you, son?”

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as Colin turned to address a man who just approached him. Glancing up slowly, she paled, seeing Judge Carmichael standing there with a young Asian American woman.

Oh No! Oh God, not here. Please, please, not like this. What the fuck, Olivia panicked. Her skin breaking out into goosebumps.

Olivia swallowed hard and turned to the front, trying to find a way to escape. Feeling sick, she placed a hand to her breast, trying to stifle choking gasps. Her heart crawled into her throat and was busy strangling her windpipe.

“Olivia, I’d like to introduce you to Judge Carmichael. He sits on the supreme court bench,” Colin bent down to help her out of her seat, and she stiffened as she stood and turned to face him head on, a small smile on her face. She was holding back hot, stinging tears.

Her night was effectively ruined.

The judge”s eyes widened before his brows furrowed in recognition. There was an incredibly tense and awkward silence before he slowly held his hand out for her to take. With effort, she froze her facial muscles into an impassive look. But inside, she was falling apart. Why, of all people, did it have to be him?

Oh my God, Olivia cried silently in her head. Her fingers trembled as she clasped them together tightly before unlocking her grip.

Reluctantly she stepped forward, not wanting to appear impolite in front of Colin, and placed her hand lightly in the judge’s. Barely touching him. Her teeth ground as he bent down to kiss the back of her hand, lingering slightly. Olivia saw Colin give her a sharp look, noticing the noise. Thankfully, he didn’t reprimand her.

Her brief relief dissipated, and she died a million deaths when Carmichael’s eyes slid to Colin’s briefly before leaning forward towards him.

“I didn’t know you dabbled, McDermont? Kat’s good isn’t she?” Judge Carmichael whispered conspiratorially, with no regard for the woman next to him. Olivia made a very low sound in her throat when Colin’s hand suddenly tightened on hers painfully. Her heart let go of its grip on her windpipe and decided to free fall into her stomach instead. She tensed as her mouth went dry.

Oh my God, what the entire fuck. Please don’t say anything else you stupid, idiotic man! Fucking fuck this is unbelievable, Olivia groaned to herself.

Her hand started sweating, and she tried to extract it discreetly from Colin’s once more. Desperate to turn around and grab her champagne. He didn’t let her.

“I’m not sure I know what you mean, Carmichael. I don’t dabble in anything. My tastes are well above board,” Colin drawled smoothly, his voice deceptively calm, compared to his grip around her. Sneaking a glance at him, Olivia noticed that his eyes went from cool to hard in a nanosecond. The edges crinkling, betraying his emotion.

The judge tilted his head at Colin before his eyes slid to Olivia’s once more. She broke out in goosebumps as his gaze lingered longer than was necessary before he did a smooth perusal of her form. Her lips quivered as a hot wave of desperation swamped her senses suddenly.

Olivia felt one of her knuckles crack with the pressure that Colin gripped down on her. She gasped in pain before covering it up with a small scoffing sound in her throat. She attempted to speak.

“I’m sorry?” she giggled uncomfortably, feigning her nonchalantness. “You must have me confused with someone else, I’ve been getting that a lot lately. My name is Olivia, not Kat,” she smoothly lied, attempting to twist her hand out of Colin”s grip before he accidentally snapped a bone in her hand.

He didn’t let her go, so she switched tactics, rubbing her thumb along his fingers. Trying to soothe him.

Judge Carmichael’s eyes now blatantly roamed her hair and body greedily, lingering on her breasts. Olivia sucked her teeth as her hand suddenly went numb within Colin”s harsh grip. She felt her face go numb right after, from the strain of keeping her expression neutral.

Keep it together, keep it together, keep it together,she chanted inside her head, mentally attempting to retreat inside her brain.

“I’m sorry, Judge Carmichael. You must be mistaken. Olivia is not from around here,” Colin interjected once again, his smooth voice like silk against her ears. He didn’t appear to be outwardly affected by the judge. Colin didn’t seem to be intimidated by much at all, she suddenly realized.

Olivia felt rather than saw the judge’s date eyeing her with spite. She turned her green eyes onto the lady and narrowed them.

Say something bitch, she dared, narrowing her eyes further.

“Oh please. I would recognize that hair and those eyes anywhere. There aren”t many green-eyed redheads in the area,” he said, giving Olivia a pointed look and nodding sharply to Colin before turning to Olivia and smiling.

Colin tilted his head slightly, his eyes flashing as he dismissed the judge’s words.

“Well, in any event. You have made me miss my dear friend desperately. She rather rudely and abruptly blew me off a few months ago. You’re a kind reminder of what her presence still means to me. We had something quite special, irreplaceable, in fact,” the man’s teeth gleamed brightly in his face as he licked his lips.

“All things are replaceable Judge Carmichael,” she said smoothly, narrowing her eyes at him.

“I respectfully disagree. Kat wasn’t. I look forward to having her back soon,” he paused a beat as they stared into each other”s eyes for an uncomfortable length of time. “See that’s what’s wrong with people nowadays. They enter your life desperate, become your companion, your source of salvation for years, and then they discard you as if you mean nothing. After you’ve invested into the relationship, spending so much time with one another, coming to a mutual understanding, just to have your heart torn out as if you meant nothing. After a connection like that, One often times wonders why people are so shocked when heinous crimes are committed. A betrayal like that is unforgivable.”

Olivia stood there silently, the pain of her hand disappearing as a new type of pain, fueled by horror and sheer terror, slid its way into her soul and made itself at home. Slicing it”s way so bone deep she didn”t think there would ever be a time she wouldn”t feel its presence.

Judge Carmichaels eyes slid between Colin’s and Olivia’s as he smiled slyly. “Well, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Olivia. Have a good time. Colin,” Carmichael said dismissively, before turning on his heel and escorting his plus one back to their table.

Olivia stood still for a second, feeling sick, her heart pounding in her throat before she gently sank back into the seat. Struggling to regain control of herself. Her blood pressure was skyrocketing. Eye”s watering, Olivia fought back desperate breaths, she shot back up out her seat almost immediately. Standing up from her chair and excusing herself. Not giving Colin any reason to delay her.

She hadn’t even looked at him while she sat down.

Rounding the corner and hastily making her way into the lush restroom, she pushed into a stall. She gasped, bending over the toilet, and began dry heaving in pure panic. Her tears fell hotly down her cheeks, and she pressed a trembling hand tight to her stomach, waiting a minute before standing up and grabbing tissue. She dabbed at her eyes carefully before exiting the stall.

Olivia walked slowly to stand in front of the mirror, lamenting her lack of clutch that held her face powder.

She wet her fingers and carefully pressed them under her eyes, trying to hide the fact she’d been crying. Giving herself a once over in the mirror and a few minutes to breathe deeply, she waited to leave until she felt calm. Shaking her head firmly, she turned and walked out the door, and straight into judge Carmichael.

Who’d been standing rather close to the entrance of the ladies” restroom.

Olivia stumbled back a step as her eyes widened in shock, and her back hit the door hard, making her feel trapped. Her blood pressure skyrocketed once more, and she felt goosebumps dot her flesh as the sick, dizzying feeling came back.

“Excuse me, Judge Carmichael,” she said, as she tried to step around him.

She gasped in fear as he quickly stepped in front of her, blocking her escape. She glanced around nervously, seeing no one in the little area with them. Her arm came up to wrap around her torso protectively, suddenly feeling very naked.

The only noise was the strains of instrumental music from the ballroom bleeding out into the surrounding area. Her eyes flicked back to the judge nervously.

“So, that’s where you disappeared to? I’d been calling Gypsy for weeks trying to get another appointment and she said you were gone. Poof, disappeared into thin air,” Judge Carmichael said nastily.

His lip curled as he regarded her from top to toe, his eyes lingering on her breasts. “How much did it take? I guess the money you were getting from me wasn’t enough, eh Kat?” he spit out angrily and took a step towards her.

Olivia blanched, feeling the blood drain from her face. The man had an evil look on his own.

“Get away from me. I don’t know what you’re talking about and you’re scaring me,” she whispered, desperately hoping that she sounded as weak as she currently felt. Thinking maybe the vulnerability would throw him off.

During their sessions, she was always cool, confident, and in control. She never showed weakness, never showed she couldn’t handle herself. Her mouth was her greatest asset in the underground world. It was how she was able to get by without using sex, unlike a lot of the other women who didn’t have that luxury. Carmichael took another step towards her, placing himself into her personal space. She recoiled, her fingers itching to slap him.

So, she did in a fit of desperation, feeling cornered.

His face cracked sharply to the side, her slap resounding loudly through the tiled area. Taking advantage of his momentary distraction, Olivia went to step around him. Seeing her trying to flee he hurriedly stepped even closer, leering at her. His eyes were excited as he caressed his jaw almost lovingly.

Truly panicking now, Olivia”s eyes welled with tears and her breaths came in short, burning in her lungs. Glancing around again, she still didn’t see anyone. She”d made the wrong move.

Oh God, why would I do that?she thought.

Her skin crawled as a different heady type of fear set in, and she swallowed bile, trying to inch to the side away from the door. Suddenly terrified, he would push her through it and follow her inside. Though she was strong, she knew she wouldn’t be strong enough to overpower him if he chose to violate her.

“I would’ve paid more, you know. If you’d just opened your cunt mouth and asked. The things I would’ve done to you,” his voice dripped with disdain.

Olivia’s head tilted back and to the side as he got so close to her his breath brushed over her collarbone. She gaped at him in horror, pushing against his shoulders and trying to step back, but trapped tightly against the door. Her heels clanked against the wood loudly as she shuffled anew, trying to escape. He grabbed her upper arms roughly, leaning in further.

“Get the fuck away from her before I cause a scene,” Colin said from behind the judge.

Olivia felt a dizzying wave of relief wash through her, causing her skin to break out in goosebumps. Her lip trembled, and a shocked tear rolled down her cheek as she turned to face her lover. Finally.

“Colin!” she said on a choked cry, mortified to be found in this position yet relieved. She rushed to his outstretched hand with a quiet sob. Thankful that Carmichael hadn’t had time to push her into the restroom.

“You’ll be hearing from my people Carmichael,” Colin said, not even trying to mask the threat in his voice.

He gave him a cold look over the bridge of his nose. Unwilling at the moment to break this man physically and risk himself going to jail and upsetting Olivia, he would just have him removed from his seat.

Unbeknownst to Olivia, he recorded their interaction. Knowing something was horribly off when he was speaking with the man earlier, and her reaction to him.

It burned him to no end that he didn’t know what the situation was. Didn’t know what he was fighting against.

Colin pulled her close, trying to comfort her trembling form, while struggling to hold back from being violent with the judge.

Visibly seething with anger, he turned with a hand on her back and escorted her out of the exquisitely decorated area, away from the tables and dancing. The sounds of the saxophone sounded loud in their ears as he rushed them through the room and out the side door.

He stopped in front of the coat check, jaw ticking as he handed the woman their ticket.

I can’t look at you right now baby. I’m sorry, please forgive me, but if I look in your eyes right now I am definitely killing that man in cold blood in front of everyone. I see you, I see you’re scared. But I am furious, please forgive me,he purposefully kept his eyes averted as he collected her things.

“Colin,” Olivia’s voice was so small, trembling.

Colin’s face was slightly dark, betraying his fury.

“Are you ok? Does your hand hurt badly?” he said lowly, his voice gruff. He didn’t look at her, not gifting her with his eyes.

Her own watered as she wanted him to acknowledge and verify what happened. Not knowing that he was already plotting to release the video and kill the man mentally as he ruined his whole life’s work and took everything from him.

“Yes,” Olivia said, her own voice waivered, betraying her emotion.

Colin finally looked at her, swaying in her red dress, unsteady in her heels as she tried to pull it together. He took her arm rather gently and caressed a soft hand down her hair before turning and taking her affects from the clerk. She followed him out silently as he flagged down their limo and made her slide in first. Gracefully getting in behind her and snatching up a vodka bottle to pour himself a finger of liquor in his glass.

His blood boiled, and he was a breath away from losing it. He tossed it back quickly, not even wincing.

“Home, thank you. Raise the partition, please,” he instructed the driver.

Olivia’s eyes flickered everywhere nervously as the divider rose slowly. Colin poured a double vodka before leaning forward and holding it out to her. She looked at the glass skeptically, before taking it from him with a scrunched look on her face. Readjusting her dress, she looked at the glass again, moving to rest it to the side.

“Oh, you’re going to want to drink that,” Colin bit out, pouring his own drink and tossing it back, and again not reacting at the harsh burn. Olivia flashed her green eyes at him, looking as if she wanted to speak but could not find the words.

Colin put the glass down and gave his leg and hand a little shake before placing his ankle on his knee. He exhaled deeply, leaning his head against a fist, with an elbow propped up on the window. He was watching her with his piercing stare. Not saying a word.

Olivia’s hand trembled badly as she tipped the vodka to her lips, swallowing a small amount and wincing, not having a chaser.

“Drink it all,” he ordered softly, referencing the glass still in her hand. His finger was now tapping at his knee, betraying his agitation.

Olivia shook her head silently, her eyes widening.

Colin surprised her, leaning forward in his seat slightly. “I’d hate to have to get violent with you after what just happened but Olivia, I am not above it. Drink the fucking vodka before I pour it down your fucking throat. If I have to make you, I’m shoving my cock in right after it and I guarantee you I won’t be gentle.”

Olivia closed her eyes and whimpered slightly at his words. Feeling a rush of excitement at what appeared to be dangerous Colin making an appearance. She licked her lips and sucked the whole thing down with a gasp, feeling the liquor go straight to her vagina. Felt it thudding harshly as it swelled with blood, and she closed her legs to attempt to stem the uncomfortable feeling. She took a deep breath to steel her resolve, feeling the fabric of her dress strain tightly across her breasts.

“Colin-,” she started, but he interrupted her.

“Has that son of a bitch ever fucked you?” he said suddenly, holding her stare with his. Fury, unlike she’d ever seen on him, tainted his chocolate eyes. She shivered, suddenly afraid. But indignation and offense broke through the fear, stabilizing her.

Her lips parted in shock at his brazenly crass words.

“Are you aware that the man almost assaulted me tonight?” she hissed at Colin, her eyes flashing at him as she scooted forward in her seat. Her breasts were straining uncomfortably against the fabric of her dress as she leaned forward, and she took comfort in the slightly painful sensation.

“The fact you think you can make a fucking move, take a fucking breath and I won’t make it my business is quite insulting,” Colin said quietly, refusing to let her rile him up more than what he was. “So, I asked, did that man fuck you, Olivia,” he said again, his voice lowering dangerously.

He stayed completely still in his seat, feeling his lungs burning. Images of Carmichael’s lips at her collarbone, his hands wrapping around her upper arm, seared into his brain. Making him feel murderous.

He got to smell her, touch her, damn near taste her, he felt his lips twitch as a snarl broke free from deep in his chest.

“N-no. Colin I told you-“ she said, pressing her hand against her chest, desperate for him to hear her.

“He felt MIGHTY comfortable getting in your space tonight. Has he ever touched you, in any way,” he asked again, cocking his head. “I know you know him; the gig is up Olivia. That man would not have said what he said to you for no reason. Did you hear his fucking WORDS Olivia? Read between the lines he drew out so plainly for us?” ” his intense stare was so uncomfortable she looked away to find a semblance of privacy. The heat from his gaze seared her from across the limo.

“You and my sister are so fucking stupid. You don’t listen to anything I say,” she hissed, taking her glass and throwing it in his direction. He didn’t even move. The glass hit close to his arm and bounced off the back of the seat, clanking dully against the leather and rolled off, bouncing on the floor.

Colin stared at her silently. His lack of reaction scared her. He wouldn’t let her distract him. “I am this motherfucking close…” he whispered, holding his thumb and finger together, showing her his patience was beyond thin. It was almost nonexistent.

Olivia’s eyes narrowed.

“No. He’s never...” she said simply, bending down to pick up the glass before placing it in a holder and rubbing her hand, still stinging from the slap she’d given the judge.

“You had better be careful trying to fuck with me. I won’t be manipulated by you. You will finish every goddamn sentence I let you speak from here on out,” Colin growled, leaning forward to hold her stare with his. His chest was tight, his entire body was tense.

Olivia knew he was serious. She couldn’t half ass with him, couldn’t manipulate him, he wouldn’t allow her to treat him like her former clients. He was not weak. She trembled under his stare, feeling as weak as she wanted to make him feel.

“NOW! He’s never what, Olivia? Finish the sentence and USE YOUR WORDS,” he shouted at her, making her jump back in her seat. Shaking, she drew her legs up in her seat, pressing her hands into the leather and pushing. Trying to slink away from him.

“He’s never touched me, never f-f-fucked me,” Olivia panted in her seat, her eyes were wide with shock, she pressed her back harder against the leather, shaking her head hard. “I promise baby, I p-promise. I promise I’m not lying. I never let anyone touch me. I never let any of them see me naked. I swear, I swear it on Allison’s life,” she cried out, pressing her fingers to her throat, a sob escaping her as she stared at him, trembling.

Something flashed across his face in a pained expression before he sat back and waited several minutes before saying. “I’m proud of you. It took everything in me to not rip his motherfucking face off,” he said, his voice softening. Her eyes turned to his in renewed shock as he checked his watch. They were almost home. His gaze stayed on hers, searing her with his intensity.

She met his stare back silently.

Make me forget him, please. Make me forget I ever had to lose myself to those people, make me lose myself to you instead. Like you said, like you said I could, she pleaded at him with her eyes, but her mouth refused to follow her command to speak the words to him.

She’d already revealed enough.

Her body burned with desire and warred with itself, as she inwardly searched for that familiar box, making sure the lid was on tight. Finding a temporary comfort with the pain of the past taunting her.

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief when the limo slowed and came to a stop. But that relief was short-lived when he got out and held his hand out to help her out of the vehicle.

Olivia paused unmoving, looking up at him and contemplated staying in the limousine, the look on his face terrifying her. She slapped his hand away and squealed when he reached in and yanked her out roughly by her left arm before leading her to the front door and unlocking it.

Colin grunted, shoving her through the front door before closing it. His slight noise made her heart skip a beat.

She staggered to the foyer table on her heels, pressing her free hand against her stomach, gasping and trying to still the trembling.

Colin moved, his hand gripping hers as he took her clutch and tossed it on the foyer table before walking her back up against the glass door. He stared down into her face, breathing hard, and she knew his control was getting close to shattering. Her own chest was rising and falling rapidly with her pants; she pressed harder against the door.

Desperate whines escaped her throat through her ragged breathing.

“How many? How many men were there?” he suddenly whispered. His lips close to hers.

Olivia’s heart beat almost unbearably loud in her ears. Her eyes flickered back and forth between his, and her lips trembled as she parted them to attempt to take a deep breath to calm herself. However, there seemed to be no air to suck in. All the oxygen was gone.

“Six,” she bit out, feeling her heart crack. She didn’t want this man to know the nasty parts of her. Closing her eyes against his she continued speaking.

“Colin, I don’t want you to know that part of m-me,” she said, her tongue feeling twice its size, struggling to get the words out.

Not speaking, he slowly squatted and grasped the hem of her dress in his hand, standing up slowly and dragging it up her legs as he went. Overwhelmed and grown tired of his intensity, she reached forward and pushed him away from her, crying out in surprise as his hand flew up and lightly slapped her in her mouth.

Her lips quivered as she met his stare, feeling her eyes welling with shocked tears.

“Don’t look so shocked, that’s on page two,” he said, spice in his voice.

Her lips quivered as she met his stare, feeling her eyes welling with shocked tears.

They stared at each other for half a heartbeat before Olivia inhaled raggedly as she realized that the slight pop turned her on. But then she was incredibly confused by the emotion. She opened her mouth and narrowed her eyes in anger, wanting to retaliate out of habit. She stepped forward, her green eyes furious. Her lithe arms reaching out for his face.

“You fucking bast-“ Colin reached out and grabbed her across the bottom of her face, squishing her lips together in his harsh grip. She growled like a cat, fighting his advances. Her blows fell off his hard arms as he yanked her by her face to him. Glaring down at her harshly.

“You’re not allowed to SPEAK, amor,” he gritted down into her face, his eyes flashing dangerously, his jaw was tight with restraint. He crowded her hard against the door. “You may only speak when I ask you a question. You don’t want me to know that part of you? You don’t want to tell me what it is because you think it’s too dirty? Too shameful?” his eyebrow arched as he looked down at her, his own face flushing.

Olivia whimpered, grasping his wrist and tugging.

“Too. Fucking. Bad,” Colin slightly banged her head against the glass with every word, his hand pressed tight against her lips. Olivia heard the dull thud of her head hitting the glass and whimpered, the actions driving the words even deeper into her brain.

“I’m working my way in sweetheart, and you’re going to let me,” he began to shrug out of his jacket, his hand still on her face. He dropped his jacket with a thud and yanked off his tie as he spoke to her harshly. His elegant voice became gritty with it”s own emotion.

“I don’t want you clean. But I’ll spend the rest of forever cleaning you up if that’s what is required. You think I’m fucking scared of you? I’m a grown ass man, sweetness. You and your little bullshit side hustle do not intimidate me. You do, however, piss me the fuck OFF,” he snarled at her, his chocolate eyes melted slightly as he regarded her face.

Oh my god, her blood sung with excitement at his words. Yes, she thought, almost sagging with relief. He’s going to make me lose myself in him.

Colin dipped again, grasping her behind both her legs and lifted her into his arms. Olivia placed her arms around his neck and leaned back away from him, refusing him out of a sudden bid for feminine propriety, recoiling from his harsh embrace. He shook her suddenly, forcing her to look at him.

“Wrap your legs around me, Olivia. Do it the first time I tell you to, or I will drag you up the stairs by your hair. Do we understand each other?” he said threateningly.

Olivia whimpered as she flinched under his harsh administration. Her brow furrowed when she felt herself throbbing excitedly at the thought of his hands tugging at her hair. And in that moment, his words about being turned on by pain came to the forefront of her mind.

He was fucking right. I’m a masochist, she thought, blinking slowly as the lock clicked and turned for her now.

Colin’s fingers bit painfully into the back of her thighs as she willingly complied. He carried her up the stairs fluidly, her weight of no consequence to him. When he got to the top step, he stopped.

She glanced at him nervously, staring into his eyes. Her own widening slightly at what she found there in his depths.

Anger. He was so angry. Olivia paled, whimpering at the unfamiliar expression on his face. Was he angry with her? Because she wouldn’t tell him all of her secrets?

She struggled through short, panting breaths as he resumed walking them to the bedroom. She struggled, expecting him to throw her on the bed, but he just veered left and into their closet. Closing the door and locking them into the small space.

She backed up hastily as he put her down, rounding the island. He turned and typed in a code into the keypad at the door, and she heard the snick of the lock as it slid into place. Excited at him confining her, her heart banged inside her chest, echoing the sound.

They stared at each other for a long, tense moment.

“Take the emerald off,” he demanded.

Trembling, she reached up to unclasp the heavy necklace, stepping forward quickly to drop it gently on the island. She kicked her heels off before backing up once more. Her eyes bored into him, waiting. Her brain raced with too many thoughts at once. Mentally flicking through the agreement she signed in his office, trying to gauge how crazy it was about to get.

“Colin,” she whispered. “You were right, the other day in the sauna. I didn’t realize,” she blinked, feeling like she was having an out-of-body experience.

Colin inhaled sharply. His facial expression hardened until it looked like he was carved from stone. His chest visibly expanded. He loved fucking hearing he was correct about something, but nothing took the cake like his lover admitting her kink to him.

He nodded once.

Leaving Olivia with her inner turmoil, Colin turned his attention to his cuff links. Taking them off one by one and tossing them on the island along with his keys and his wallet. The careless tossing and the thudding of his personal effects on the marble top echoed loudly in her ears, pulling her back into the present moment.

He pulled out his phone and placed it down gently before sliding off his shirt and under shirt, revealing cords and slabs of hard muscle, tendons, tattoos and veins to her gaze.

Olivia watched silently as he then sat on a nearby bench to take off his shoes and dress socks, seemingly content to let her wait for him. Her blood rushed in her veins the more he revealed himself.

Colin was strong, muscular, and not the kind of muscle that one strives to get in the gym. He was built strong, and it was evident in his body, the thickness of his wrists and fingers, his chest and shoulder width.

Olivia’s heart beat heavily, almost drowning out any other sound.

Her skin was burning, her delicate flesh pebbled and sensitive, waiting for him to decide what to do with her. A hundred thoughts ran through her head; however, she didn’t need to wait long. He graced her with his gaze once more, his demeanor deceptively calm. She sparked when awareness hit her with the knowledge that she did know not to trust this Colin. He was wicked with territories uncharted, and the thought oddly comforted her because she truly did love a challenge.

“Is this page three?” she said so quietly she didn’t even know if he heard her.

Colin’s eyes flickered to hers and held hers for a beat too long. He suddenly spoke, his buttery smooth voice filling the room.

“No. Not page three. I’m going to fuck you hard, Olivia, because I need it, and you need it too,” his jaw ticked hard as he stepped closer, betraying his fading restraint. “I want to apologize in advance if the way I go about it makes you feel any kind of way. You’re going to get some pain tonight,” he said sternly, walking towards her now.

She whimpered, her toes digging into the soft carpet of the closet. The sheer intimidating energy rolling off of him made her quickly lose her nerve. Her hands went behind her back and clasped tightly. Her eyes flickered from him to the door as she debated her chances of getting out of there without his permission.

Olivia”s chin quivered as he continued speaking, his smooth voice caressing over her.

“What are you going to do to me, Colin? I’m scared,” she whispered, feeling a lone tear trail down her cheek betraying her truthfulness. She wanted him to lose control, but she was terrified that he would burn her up with him.

“I’m going to break you in half, because I can’t break that piece of shit in half, and you’re my next option. This is what we agreed to, is it not? It’s time to pay up, mama,” Olivia’s eyes widened at the honest admission as he towered over her.

Her nostrils flared as she caught a hold of his flagrantly masculine scent. Need hit hot in her belly as he got closer and her back hit a wall and some clothes. He reached into a drawer and pulled out a belt with lots of holes in it. Her breath froze in her lungs.

“No! Please don’t h-hit me, I didn’t d-do anything,” she stammered, but she could barely contain or hide her own excitement.

Why am I telling him no if I want this? her brows furrowed, confused.

“I need to anchor you to something while I do this. I can’t tie you down this soon and risk re-injuring your arm,” Colin said darkly, stepping forward. Olivia”s heart pounded an excited tattoo at his words. She instinctively pressed herself harder against the wall as he reached forward.

The next few seconds went by so fast she barely had time to register anything past her shocked screaming. He’d looped the belt around her neck, fastened it, then hauled it up. Forcing her to stand on the balls of her feet for air. She gaped at him, clawing at the belt, but her brain did not seem to understand what was happening. She jerked hard, not able to move.

What the fuck, my neck!? Olivia screamed inside her head.Not what she was expecting when he said tied down.

Olivia tilted her head slightly and saw that he had pressed the belt opening onto a small hook within the closet that was used for hanging hats. She swiveled her head to look at him as he picked up his phone and leaned against the island, crossing his legs, and concentrating on his phone, ignoring her.

Something about seeing that familiar stance, his ”I’m in control” power move that had been carefully ingrained into her for the past few weeks made her feel safe. Lowering her heels to the floor experimentally, she gasped as her air was cut off, forcing her back up onto her toes again. Her calves were beginning to burn and ache. Especially after being in heels most of the night.

“Colin-” she bit out, struggling slightly.

The same odd warmth she’d felt when she laid her head in his lap and he was stroking her back suddenly washed over her, mixing with the burn in her calves and feet. And it was quite overwhelming. Like in the way you have a revelation of discovery, the disconcerting feeling you try to pick at and analyze if this is really you. Sometimes those initial revelations were raw to the touch.

“I didn’t say you could speak,” Colin said quietly, still not looking at her as he tapped a few times at the screen. A second later, strains of one of her favorite songs filled the small space, and he turned up the volume slightly. He then looked up at her, watching her trace the belt around her neck with her slender fingers.

“Is it too tight?” he asked, cocking his head thoughtfully.

Colin stared at her as her breathing quickly changed. Her skin started to mist with sweat, turning dewy. He continued to lean there as he observed her. She glanced back into his eyes, and he’d seen that hers turned cloudy.

Olivia debated, inwardly wrestling with herself. And figured if he had the balls to tie the belt around her neck and tie her up, then she could have the balls to ask for what she needed. Even if she was embarrassed. She’d be damned if he was the only one getting something out of this tonight.

Now understanding that he wasn’t angry at her, but angry at the judge, and was jealous of the men that were attached to her past and needed to take it out on her.

He was marking her.

Inwardly she retreated, taking the lid back off her box of hurts, and let him step in with her. Giving him a tiny bit more of her trust. Her heart squeezed uncomfortably.

“I need it tighter,” she said simply. Her eyes fell from his to glance at his bare feet. Her heart beat pressed against her breast bone tightly.

Colin straightened up and walked to her slowly, gazing down at her with his hot stare for several long seconds before unlooping the belt from the closet hook. She glanced away before his eyes incinerated her completely.

“One more loop only,” he said, catching her eye and holding it as he tightened it minutely, before replacing it back on the hook. He watched her carefully as she slowly rose up on her toes to take away the slack that was there when she was on her heels, giving him that bit of power back that made him growl with need.

Olivia moaned as the sensation immediately overtook her, and she shuddered hard.

Tears fell from her eyes as it almost became unbearable. Arousal slammed into her body, making her feel off kilter. She whined as she tried to cope. He leaned against her, placing his lips to her temple and lending her his strength once again as she clearly struggled with complex feelings. He briefly picked her up slightly off the floor with one hand under her ass, giving her calves a temporary reprieve. She hung limply.

Colin spoke against her ear as he rocked her gently to the music, calming her.

“This playlist is for you, to give you comfort for however long I need to fuck you to get the thought of that man and you out of my head…a gift for you to rest your mind upon,” he finished, pressing his lips to hers and licking into her mouth. Their lips smacked wetly together, causing shivers of pleasure to slide across her skin.

His thick arm underneath her bottom felt so good as he cradled her. The sudden domination beating hard into her flesh and making her cry out, she clenched her thighs together as she felt more of her wetness squeeze out of her body. Her sex pulsed hard, feeling empty, before he set her back down onto her toes.

Colin walked over to grab a decanter of alcohol that he kept stocked in the closet and placed the bottle on a shelf close to her head, where his colognes were stored. He watched her with his dark gaze as he unscrewed the top and placed it off to the side. Her heart pounded, her vagina felt heavy and hot, stealing what breath she had in her lungs. He poured a small amount into a glass before pressing it to her lips.

Olivia jerked her head away obstinately.

“No,” she bit out, clenching her teeth hard. He waited a few heartbeats as she came to the decision on her own, opening her mouth for him, gagging slightly and moaning as he poured some liquor in. She swallowed it, tears leaking down her face as he repeated the motion. She shot him a filthy stare.

“No chaser, huh? Didn’t you tell me that ladies use chasers?” Olivia taunted him, just not able to help herself. Her eyes flashing defiantly. He cocked an eyebrow at her as he set the bottle onto the shelf next to the top. A muscle twitching in his neck. She paled further as she realized he was settling them in the room and wasn’t meaning to He leaned into her space and breathed deeply.

Olivia shuddered as his energy assaulted her, dangerous and demanding, making her blood rush through her veins like liquid fire. He paused for several seconds, letting her know that he had complete control, and that if he wanted to saturate her senses, then he would.

“You”re not a lady right now, you”re my whore,” he whispered into her ear.

Olivia gritted her teeth feeling her wetness flow out of her embarrassingly, slicking down her thighs.

Yes, your whore. Yes I am. All I ever want to be... she wailed miserably to herself.

”I thought you would have gotten that hint in the limo, when I alluded my dick would be your chaser. Keep up with me, baby,” he taunted back. ”Every second we”ve spent together has been leading us to this moment. If I want to treat you like a princess, then I will. If I want to make you bend to my every fucking beck and call, my every need, then all you”re required is to ask how much. If I want to give you everything just to strip it all away to watch you beg, then you will be happy begging me on your knees before me where you belong Olivia because you are MINE! You”re not his. You”re not theirs, you don”t even belong to yourself any longer.”

Olivia could barely contain her ragged breathing as he pressed so close the stubble of his beard grazed her cheek. Her breasts heaved, the tips of her nipples scraped his chest with every inhale.

”Everything you are is because I gift it to you. All the freedom you have had so far, all the tantrums you”ve thrown, all the fucking back talking, everything you have gotten away with is because I deemed it so because it made me happy to gift you those things.”

Mind games were what got him off more than anything. That’s why his stare was so intense, as if he could see into the deepest recesses of your mind. Which is what he did, and he used it to his advantage.

If you can manage to crawl under someone”s skin, you can control them more than you ever could physically because the body could only take so much.

But the mind was a strong heady thing.

Olivia’s eye”s widened at his admission, and her breathing became harsher as the liquor settled and she broke out in a mist of sweat. She groaned as the burn ignited hotter deep down in her belly and she began to pant in earnest now. Colin reached into another spot within the cabinet and pulled out a tiny pair of scissors, snipping the straps on her gown. His fingertips brushed briefly against her skin, making goosebumps appear. Olivia shivered hard.

The silky gown caught on the tips of her nipples, which were rock hard. He’d stared at her again, a half-smile on his face.

“It pleases me greatly that you enjoy this,” he said, reaching forward and pulling the dress the rest of the way down with his fingertip. He placed his arms above her on the frame, leaning in. He ignored her trembling from standing on her toes for so long. She gasped as she lowered, desperate for relief, choking on the belt once more, and again flew back up on her toes.

“Are you going to fuck me like a good boy now?” she hissed through the tightness around her neck.

Colin tilted his head at her, a wicked smile breaking out across his face.

She moaned as he put his nose to her throat and inhaled, unbothered by her dilemma and her words.

“Oh baby, I think you’re sadly, sadly mistaken. I’m not the good boy hero in this story of ours. What book have you been reading? Whatever it is, it’s the wrong edition. I’m the fucking big bad wolf, mama. And I eat little girls like you for a snack,” he lowered his arms and, with a flick of his wrist, undid his pants and pulled his erection out.

The massive column drooped down slightly under its weight. Saliva filled her mouth instantly at the sight, and she attempted to swallow as she began to struggle anew. Colin caught her eye again as he reached above and grabbed a tie. He was determined to wait her out.

The beat of the music created a sensual atmosphere, the bass engulfing them both as he stepped into her and put the tie to her mouth. She jerked her head away, nervous.

“Colin, please,” she tried again, her eyes now imploring as he held the green fabric up to her mouth.

“Open. You’re done talking without permission,” he ordered, a muscle clenching in his jaw. She parted her lips on a defeated whimper, the fight gone from her body. Her legs shook hard, the feeling slipping from her toes. Her eyes flickered between his, her breath shooting out hot and fast from her nose. She was panicking.

He leaned down to kiss her forehead.

”I cherish you,” he whispered, letting his lips linger before pulling back to regard her once more.

Slipping the tie into her mouth, he secured it at the back of her head. A couple of tears slipped from her eyes as he stepped away, and she felt her ribs and belly contracting with every ragged inhale. She was terrified, and extremely turned on. So much so she could feel her wet panties rubbing uncomfortably between her legs.

Silently he reached into the drawer again and pulled out three more belts and her eyes widened as she heard them clink together as he worked to thread the together into one long makeshift belt. He tied the end off before holding it up to his shoulder and seeing how far down it fell to her hips.

He bent and slid her panties down and off her feet before straightening back up, holding them to his nose.

His eyes flashed at her as he inhaled her scent.

“Did he ever get a chance to smell you?” Colin whispered darkly, placing the little scrap of fabric against Olivia’s nose. Her scent infiltrated the space between them, and she whimpered, shaking her head no. More tears leaked out, falling into the tie around her face. She relented. Relaxing her calves, her heels coming to the floor, needing to relieve her straining muscles. She held her breath, wiggling her toes and bending her calf back to stretch it.

He bent again. Looping the belt under her ass then over his shoulders so his broad back would bear the brunt of her weight when he stood up. He meant to fuck her for a long time and would need some assistance.

She struggled under his watchful gaze, and right before she went back on her toes to inhale, he stood up the rest of the way and snatched her up by her hips, roughly slamming her on his thick cock. Relentlessly pressing all the way in until he bottomed out inside of her and still pressed harder, grinding, getting it all in.

Colin dropped his head to her shoulder, giving her another little grind as he listened to her muffled screams of pleasured pain echo around the room, mixing with the music.

He inhaled sharply as her fingernails sunk into his shoulder blades. He paused for a second and rocked them, deceptively gentle, to the music from side to side. Giving her just a slight second to recover, since he’d impaled her rather roughly before she even had a chance to suck in air after strangling herself on his belt.

Colin pulled back to catch her eye. She was panting and crying. Her fingers continued to claw painfully into his shoulder blades. Her eyes were wild and unfocused. He smiled slightly.

“Look at me,” he demanded softly, his fingers tightening on her hips before he pulled out to the tip, waiting.

His body was absolutely burning to push back into the hot tight clasp of her body, but he held still, waiting for her. Lost in sensation, she refocused her green eyes and found him easily. Colin smiled briefly, seeing they were wide with fear and excitement. Nodding at what he’d found there within their secret depths, he gripped her even harder. Wrenching a cry out of her throat before he rammed back in on an animalistic grunt.

He mercilessly pounded her up and down on his engorged dick, growling with every hard thrust.

Olivia’s mind raced hearing the sharp slap of their bodies meeting echoing around the room, mingling with their sex sounds and the music. Colin watched her creamy breasts slap against her ribcage lewdly, adding to the swirl of lust that congregated in his brain like the perfect storm to fuel his jealousy, anger, and lust.

He fucked her like that for several rotations of songs. Until her wild screams and moans lessened, sounding hoarser and sparser until he noticed she’d lost her voice. She orgasmed several times, her cum dripping down and slickening them both.

He chuckled darkly as Olivia started mumbling through the tie around her mouth. Clearly deep in subspace. And that really turned him on. He alternated the brutal strokes with getting down on his knees underneath her, and wrapping her legs around his shoulders, sucking her softly. Giving her a brief reprieve.

Colin serviced her body until his arms strained with exertion and sweat dripped down his back, making her nails feel like razors digging into his skin. His lungs burned, and his broad muscular chest was rock hard with tension. The cords and veins throughout his arms and torso visibly sticking out harshly against his skin.

A glance in the mirror showed him that the back of her thighs were bright red from the tight bruising grip he kept on her.

Colin put the discomfort of his body into the back of his mind, stopping briefly to take a drink of vodka, gasping at the burn, welcoming it. He placed his hand back under Olivia’s hip and readjusted his grip slightly, looking down at her. He’d long since let her close her eyes, and she’d tilted her head back and was currently hanging there, her pretty mouth parted. Her hair swishing like a waterfall of fire behind her back.

He bent down and took a distended nipple between his teeth, now moving them again with the beat, side to side, as he circled his hips deeply. Hearing her fresh cries as he pressed painfully all the way to the back of her vagina. She cried out weakly and orgasmed again, her muscles rippling and clutching tightly at the massive dick inside her.

He ended their slight break, resuming the brutal pace he’d had started with.

Outside in their bedroom past the locked closet door, muted sounds of flesh slapping, sobbing, his harsh redirection, reprimands, and the sultry beats seeped out into the room for the next three hours until he’d ejaculated inside her with an animalistic growl.

When the pain of fucking her so intensely blacked his mind out, and he no longer thought of the man who had the nerve to step into what was his earlier that night, he finally let himself find release. Ungagging her, he cradled her limp body in one arm as he released her from both of the belts with the other, his hand quickly going to her neck to rub and massage the abraded skin there.

He kissed her softly, sealing his mouth over the soft moans escaping her lips.

Colin carried her straight into the shower and quickly rinsed them both with her still in his arms, not washing them up, but rinsing the night away.

Laying her carefully down on her side of the bed, he crawled in behind her. Firmly wrapping his body around her now silent one. Pressing a kiss to her lips, and breathed deeply, feeling the ache in his body already. He rubbed his hand down her back repeatedly. Murmuring to her what a good, brave girl she was. How beautiful and special she was.

“Colin,” she said weakly, her eyes fluttering closed.

“I’m here amor. You took it so well, my baby girl. You should be as proud of yourself as I am of you,” he said quietly, running his hand down her hair and her hip. Everywhere he could get his hands on to soothe.

He waited patiently until her breathing deepened, and her chest rose and fell rhythmically in sleep before he allowed himself to follow her into slumber.

***

Colin woke up a few hours later with a panicked groan, panting, feeling his heart racing.

No, she can’t see this. She’ll be terrified, he thought to himself.

His legs were tangled in the blankets, and he wrestled with them, trying to get free. Colin yanked himself off the bed, hitting the floor on one knee before he stumbled to the bathroom. He closed the door, crouching down on his haunches for a second, trying to regain his senses. He was struggling, his mind still gripped on the edges of his nightmare, and all he could hear was screaming, sirens, and glass crunching.

“Mother fucking God,” he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut tight. Mentally battling the past, trying to force himself by sheer will to come through into his present.

Standing up, he walked to the vanity and placed his hands palm down on the cold white marble of the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. A pulsing vein was sticking out in his neck. The lights of the bathroom threw his features in sharp relief as his chest heaved. Turning the faucet onto cold, he splashed some water on his face and put his head down.

He took a couple of minutes trying to count, attempting to breathe, anything to make the nightmare fade.

“Colin?” Olivia called out, her soft voice bleeding through the door. She tapped two times on the door quietly before cracking the door open slightly. “Can I help? Are you ok?” she cautiously poked her head in, and he noticed she’d put a silky robe on.

His head turned slightly as she shimmied her way through the crack in the door, her gaze meeting his hesitantly. Her face was tight with concern.

Oh, baby. What’s wrong, what’s going on with you? Olivia thought sadly. Her eyes taking in his ragged features.

“No, go back to sleep,” Colin said hoarsely, turning back to his reflection in the mirror. His shoulders were tight, and he was struggling to get it under control this time. Not like the other times when he could will himself to calm down.

She ignored him, inching her way over to him, and put a hesitant hand out. His haunted, empty eyes found hers in the mirror.

“If you touch me, I’m adding six months onto our agreed time,” he bit out harshly, his whole body tensing up as Olivia got closer.

I’m in too deep. It doesn’t matter. Did it ever matter? You won’t want me when you find out. Time won’t mean anything then. None of this will because you’ll hate me for what I used to be,Olivia advanced slowly. Wishing she could tell him.

Tears pricked the back of his eyes as she inched closer to him despite his threat, her green eyes turning dark with worry. He groaned and closed his eyes at the first touch of her fingers on his shoulder. She leaned in and placed her lips on his skin next to her fingers as his body suddenly wracked with tears.

Colin reached out and snatched her to him desperately. His arms banded around her almost painfully as he gripped her, his arms wrapped around her back and clutched at her ribcage. Burying his head in her neck he suddenly hauled her up on the vanity, getting a welcome hint of the hard sex that they shared, still on her skin.

He placed Olivia down harshly, the items there clattering loudly as they fell to the side. She wrapped her arms and legs around him tightly, ignoring the burn in her thighs for being held open for hours. Olivia’s fingers stroked his hair and the back of his neck. She ignored how hard he was squeezing her and shushed him gently, rocking him, also ignoring the twinge of pain at that simple movement.

She stared unseeing at the ceiling of the bathroom; her mind searched for a way to calm him.

“There once was a fierce and rather handsome gentleman named Richard Todd,” she began softly. Sweeping her hand in broad strokes down his back, her other hand still cupping and squeezing the back of his neck. “Who broke away from his fellow noblemen and joined a band of merry foresters who were outlaws.”

His shudders started subsiding, and his heart rate slowed down against her breast, the fog finally lifting. Her body and her voice enveloped him into a soft, safe cocoon. She worked to open her robe to press her naked skin against his, wrapping her arms around him once more.

“He worked with the thieves to take the money back from the evil men who stole from the people in their land, and so they named him Robin Hood. The giver of thieves,” she kept her voice calm. She struggled with not remembering much of the story but trying so hard for this man. Not even caring in that moment if he thought she was silly for ad libbing a children’s story.

She continued with the tale. Making up an elaborate tale of sword fighting with sheriffs and close calls with bandits, her hands caressing him tirelessly the whole time. She used funny voices and even mimicked animal sounds to surprise him and try to get him to laugh. Which he did once.

After a bit, he picked her up with her still wrapped around him and carried her back to bed. Where she climbed on top of him and kissed him sweetly, running her hands along his body and rocked him back to sleep. His nightmare was firmly and decidedly dissipating.