26. Lyra
The weeks leading up to the holidays pass by in an absolute blur of work, shopping, baking, and spending as much time as possible with Taran. That night he came over and called me on my shit, he broke something fragile in me and built it right back up stronger. Built our relationship back up stronger. He makes me feel like it”s ok for me to just be me, differences and all, without trying to mask anything. There”s this deep sense of security that he will always have my back, just like I will always have his. Only my sister and Gina have ever made me feel that level of security before. It”s overwhelming, healing, scary, and wonderful.
We”ve managed to squeeze in some festive get togethers with Gina and her family, Evelyn, and the Hernandez clan to celebrate Christmas with them before they all do their own things. Gina and Wayne always have a big Christmas Eve at her family”s house, before a quiet Christmas morning and then having Wayne”s family over. Alejandra and Hector will have all of their kids and some aunts, uncles and cousins for a big family dinner at their house. Evelyn is actually taking a last minute trip to California to have her first Christmas with Seth, Sienna, and the kids in years. She”s been doing so much better, although she still has to be careful about what she eats and take her medication. The doctor cleared her, and Seth offered to fly her out if she wanted. He offered to fly me and Taran out too, but I already had booked my ticket to my sister”s. So we celebrated early with our loved ones here with tons of food and sweets. The dozens upon dozens of mamoul and snickerdoodle cookies I made are long gone, except for a tin reserved for going with me to Texas. Jeanie has FaceTimed to meet Taran, but she, Charlie, and the kids are dying to meet him in person, so he immediately accepted her invite to come with me. We managed to get him one of the last seats on the same flight as me, although we don”t have seats together. It”s going to be full to the max at the LeFevre household since my nephews will be home from college with their girlfriends, along with my niece who still lives there, plus us. If he”s nervous about meeting everyone at once, he doesn”t show it. He seems more excited than anything, which is not surprising in the least. His hub boss was really good about giving him the 4 days around Christmas off so he can come, since Taran so rarely asks for time off.
It”s two days before Christmas when we”re getting ready to leave that morning. I just dropped Brody off at Gina”s, since they will mostly be home and able to take care of him during the school winter break. Their yard is perfect, and since they don”t have any pets yet, the kids are so excited he”ll be there. Taran is getting last minute things packed for us at my place after he got his suitcase mostly packed at his apartment yesterday. I”m one of those people that would rather be at the airport three hours early than cut it close, so we”re leaving soon to get to Newark for our 11:00 am flight. When I walk in the house, he”s humming ‘Carol of the Bells’ dramatically and dancing around while bringing our luggage to the door. When he sees me come in, he grabs my hand to twirl me before he brings me in close.
“Hello to you, too,” I laugh
“Hi,” he says softly before dropping a quick kiss on my lips. “Brody settle in ok at Gina and Wayne”s house?”
“He”s stayed there before and loved it, the kids always run him ragged. She”ll send lots of updates.” He nods before he indicates our suitcases that are probably way too full for a four night trip. The weather in Texas is temperamental right now, so we packed lots of layers and options.
“I divided the presents, cookie tin, and cards evenly in our suitcases so that hopefully neither of them weigh too much. How did we end up packing so much?”
“Wardrobe options, baby. We”ll be doing everything from playing pickleball to nice dinners, all in unpredictable weather. Plus presents and cookies.” I pop up to give him another quick kiss before I start my usual anxiety induced final walkthrough of the house before we leave. Everything is off, valuables locked away, small appliances and lamps unplugged. Taran calls for a rideshare and it”s not that long before we”re at the airport, through check in and security, and waiting at our gate. We grab food and coffee since we”re fairly early, though I”m glad we left plenty of time since the security line was no joke. The flight takes around 4 hours before we touch down in Houston. I end up in the aisle a few rows ahead of Taran during the flight, so I”m able to look back and catch his gaze sometimes in between reading and napping. Looking for Charlie”s pick up truck in the passenger pick up zone once we get our luggage is hilarious and difficult since everyone and their mother drives a silver pick up in Texas, but we find each other. He gives me a bear hug when he gets out to help put our luggage in the back, and shakes Taran”s hand warmly when I introduce them. Charlie is a big guy at around 6”2, which is hilarious since my sister is barely my height. It was one of the proudest moments of my life when I edged her out by 1/4 inch. His hair is mostly silver, he has a trim goatee, and his blue eyes are almost always bright with good humor. He”s basically a teddy bear. As we drive to their house, he peppers us with questions about the flight, what”s new with me, asks the typical getting to know you questions to Taran. They fall into easy conversation in the front seat while I just listen with a smile in the back. I can tell they”ll get along famously.
The LeFevres live about 30 minutes outside the city in a house that would be an absolute fortune in New Jersey, but is much more affordable here. My sister jokes that they”re Texas rich but New Jersey poor. It”s got wonderful landscaping that I admire as we pull up. The front is decked out so festively, my sister goes to town every year while still keeping it low key and tasteful. The gray stucco exterior is trimmed in white lights along the roof, as are the trees and bushes in the raised bed to the right of the front porch. The white front door has a huge, lovely wreath and red bow adorning it, with two small trees flanking it that are also covered in white lights. When we open the front door, the sounds of soft music and boisterous conversation reach me.
“We”re here, party can start now!” I half yell over the noise in greeting. I hear a little squeal, and my niece Bianca comes barreling toward me from the kitchen, with her brothers following closely behind. I squeeze my niece while she chatters excitedly, her light brown waves bouncing around her face while her nose piercing catches the light. Then I”m engulfed by my way too big nephews James and Grady. They have both reached around their dad”s height and I feel like a little lost gnome next to them. All three of the kids have the same thick, wavy, light brown hair and big blue eyes. Grady and Bianca share my sister”s icy blue shade though, while James has more of the ocean blue of Charlie. Bianca gives Taran an effusive hug in greeting, while the boys do the one armed bro hugs complete with back slapping. Charlie and the boys then grab our bags and haul them into the office for us, where we”ll be on the pullout couch, as my sister comes out of the kitchen to hug us both hello. The soothing, well known jasmine scent of her shampoo and soap washes over me while we hug, and I sigh in contentment with being around so many people I deeply love. She asks about our travel day, and I tell her about the man snoring in the center seat next to me. I ask if she needs help with anything and she shakes her head.
“Charlie is going to be a cooking machine tomorrow and Christmas Day, so tonight we”ll head out to the Mexican place we like. We have a reservation at 7, so you have plenty of time to take a breath, shower the travel off if you want, and hang out before we go. Why don”t we show Taran around real quick?”
We give him the tour, and Bianca is so excited to have him meet her beloved bearded dragon, calling us to come in when we get near her door. She brings Ozzy out and shows him to Taran, and the cute lizard runs right up Taran”s arm onto his shoulder.
“He loves you!!” Bianca cries. “He never does that.”
“I’ve never met a critter I didn”t like, he”s cute!” Taran replies. Bianca beams at him, and then she not so subtly mouths to me “keep him, Auntie Lyra!”
I shake my head ruefully at her and smile. We”ve been here less than 15 minutes and it already feels like he belongs. The fact that we get to spend our first Christmas as a couple here makes me happier than I can express. It”s that same sense of rightness I felt watching him play with Brody in my yard. Having Taran occupy space that is important to me just makes it feel like it is whole. Like the picture was somehow incomplete until he came along. I have never and will never need a man to complete me, but having him in my life as a partner adds so much and rounds it out so perfectly I find my breath catching. He grins at me like he can see those thoughts playing across my face. We hang out with my nephews, their girlfriends, and niece, play some cards, get settled in the office with our stuff, and take quick showers before we head out to dinner. The Mexican place near them is top notch, and is famous for its margaritas that you can get refilled to go in what is basically a Capri Sun pouch. I go for the strawberry basil while Taran goes for the mango lime. After the delicious dinner, we all head back to gorge on the Christmas cookies while we play games until bed. The Rummikub table gets vicious in this family. The foldout couch is not the most comfortable, but Taran and I fall asleep in a pajama tangle while he murmurs how nice a time he”s having.
Christmas Eve is always my favorite night here. After a day of lounging around and a few rounds of pickleball at the rec area in their development, we”re decked out in ugly sweaters and getting seated around the table. Christmas music is playing softly in the background, and Charlie has made his usual incredible feast of homemade spaghetti and meatballs, salad, and garlic bread. Smelling it on the stove all day has been torture. After a dessert of more Christmas cookies, the festivities begin. First, we sing the 12 Days of Christmas, with everyone getting assigned a number. Since there are 9 of us this year, a few double up. I get 9 ladies dancing, so I don”t have my solo for a bit. Taran gets 5 golden rings. When it gets to him, he belts it out with jazz hands and gives it everything he has. The entire table loses it.
“That”s it!” My sister wheezes between laughs. “That”s your number no matter what, anytime you come here for Christmas. There was so much pizazz, everyone take a lesson from him!”
“Damn, you didn”t have to go that hard and make us all look bad, Taran!” James says with a theatrical shake of his head, smiling ear to ear.
Taran chuckles and mock bows, then catches my eye with the most dazzling grin as he leans into me to whisper in my ear.
“Got assigned a number my first year here, Firecracker, you don”t even have one assigned,” he teases. I roll my eyes, even as his warm breath on my ear makes me shiver.
“It”s a pity number, because she knows it”s insanity to be part of this family. I don”t have a choice, you do,” I tease right back, making sure he shivers too when I whisper in his ear. He chuckles warmly and drapes his arm over my shoulders, tucking me into his side. Bianca lets out a little “awww” when he does it. Jeanie is smiling, Charlie is watching us like the protective big brother he is, and the boys take that as their cue to hug their girlfriends into their sides too. Their girlfriends are sweethearts, I”ve met Mikayla and Chloe a couple of times now. Mikayla and I actually text all the time about books, I talk to her much more than James. With the song now over, it”s time for the most sacred part of the evening.
For as long as I can remember, my sister has read aloud ”Twas the Night Before Christmas” every Christmas Eve from a book that is way older than her. To me, it”s not Christmas until she does it. We all join in at the end loudly with, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
If Taran thinks either the singing or the reading is weird, he doesn”t show it. He seems downright delighted by it all actually, and I love that he has no problem being a part of our family traditions. When we get to bed and are snuggled next to each other, he starts softly talking into my hair.
“This has been the most fun I”ve had at Christmas since my dad passed away, Lyra. Our Holidays have always been subdued since then. Thank you. Thank you for making the holidays fun and light again. It means a lot to be here.” He kisses my hair, and I feel my throat thicken with emotion.
“It means a lot to have you here with me. I”m glad you don”t think our traditions are weird.”
“Not weird at all, I love them. Your family has been so welcoming, too.”
“I think they love you more than me already,” I tease as I nudge him.
“Not possible, but I”m glad they like me,” he says, stroking my hair as I feel my eyes get heavy. Between the wine, the huge amount of food, the laughter, and the warm, wonderful person beside me, I drift off instantly. Christmas morning is always a lazy, languid morning of Charlie”s incredible pancakes, followed by presents. Jeanie always gets me snarky mugs or tea towels and other fun things, and she did the same this year. Even though he was a slightly last minute addition, Taran gets the most wonderfully soft fleece hoodie and a gift card from the family. He puts it on instantly. Christmas dinner is always a repeat of Thanksgiving food, and the smells of roasting turkey and stuffing fill the house. I am always in charge of the side dish Jeanie and I love the most. It”s syrupy peach halves, stuffed with fruity and spiced mincemeat before it is baked. It could not be more simple to assemble or delicious. Jeanie and I make our obligatory FaceTime calls to our parents and John in Vancouver so the kids can see their long distance family. My mother and younger brother are together with his family, plus my aunt and uncle. My dad and step-mom are home with my step-sisters and their boyfriends. Jeanie and I exchange pleasantries, the kids chat, and Taran doesn”t miss a beat saying how nice it is to meet them all. My parents and brothers have been made aware of Taran, but today they get to virtually meet him, and it is all fine. My dad has the distinct undertone of, “I’ll kill you if you hurt my daughter” underneath his pleasantness, but it is all fine. The next day, I take the girls out for manicures as their present, and we have a fabulous spa afternoon while Taran hangs out with the guys playing video games and watching a movie. My sister and I are seated next to each other getting our nails done, and she keeps looking like she”s itching to say something.
“Out with it. What”s on your mind? Since when have you ever held your tongue with me?”
“I was trying to not give my unsolicited opinion for once in my life, but you”re right. I need to say this. Taran is really special, Lyra. I hate making comparisons, and Derek was fine until he cheated, but he never lit you up the way I see Taran does. I”m so happy for you. You deserve this. I need you to know just how much you deserve this after everything you”ve been through. Your intrusive thoughts can go pound salt, because I know you”ve had them.”
I let out a weighted breath, letting her words settle in. “I did have them, I told you what happened the night he came over. They”re quiet now, though. He quieted them.”
“Good,” she says simply, turning back to watching her nails get done. “Keep me posted on the surgery date, too. Charlie and Bianca can man the fort, I”ll come up to stay with you for a bit. I know Taran will be there, but while he”s working I”d like to be around.” I nod, knowing that even if I didn”t want her there, she”d come anyway. Having her there will mean the world, though.
All too soon, Taran and I are heading back to reality the next day after a really wonderful slice of cozy family time.