Chapter 60
amy
Amy gripped the side of the rubber dinghy as she scanned the lake for any sign of her son. It didn’t even register when the men told her Mac and Rose were safe.
She’d watched Nicky swim to freedom.
Why couldn’t she find him?
She’d seen his light herself. She’d opened the door trapping the children and a torrent of water had catapulted her across the hallway, spinning her backwards and then, by some extraordinary miracle, flinging her directly down the stairwell.
She hadn’t even realised what’d happened until she’d seen Nicky’s flashlight bobbing ahead of her, like a will-o’-the-wisp.
But then she’d stopped to help Iris quell her panic, and she’d lost sight of the light.
He was out here, somewhere.
‘We have to look for my son,’ she told the two men, as Iris sat dead-eyed and unresponsive in the bottom of the boat. ‘We don’t go back until we find him.’
‘Ma’am, we need to take you back to the marina now,’ the older of the two men said. ‘Chances are your son’s already there. Coast Guard’s on the way, and the fire department’s here. There’s lots of people out looking. We’re not going to leave anyone behind.’
Amy panned the flashlight across the water. Debris floated on the surface: cushions from the Lady, plastic trash bags filled with discarded cups and plates from the party, soda bottles.
A single white trainer.
‘I’m not waiting for the Coast Guard,’ she said.
‘Ma’am, your friend needs to go back now,’ the man said.
Amy glanced at her sister. One of the men had taken off his flannel shirt and wrapped it around Iris, but her sister’s lips were blue, and she was muttering to herself, her gaze unfocused. She was going into shock, Amy realised. She needed to get warm, to receive proper medical treatment.
‘Fine. Take us back,’ she said. ‘But if my son’s not at the marina, we come straight back out to look for him. I’ll row this damn boat myself if I have to.’
The man nodded. Amy returned his flashlight and settled into the bottom of the dinghy beside Iris as the boat sped towards the shore, wrapping her arms around her sister, trying to keep her warm.
As they grew closer to the marina, she saw a scattering of lights encircling the lake. It took her a moment to realise they were headlights.
Cars were parked all along the shoreline, their lights trained on the water.
Cars belonging to the parents of children who’d left them just hours earlier, when the night had been filled with life and promise, the kids twirling in their new prom dresses, straightening their borrowed ties, dreaming of kisses and college, of a future unravelling in front of them.
Parents who would be bringing their children home in body bags.
‘Iris,’ she said.
Her sister didn’t move.
‘Iris,’ she said, more urgently this time. ‘You have to promise me. What happened down there. We can’t ever tell anyone. Promise me. They won’t understand.’
‘I don’t understand,’ Iris said.
‘We had no choice,’ Amy said.
Iris swivelled her entire body towards Amy, stiffly, awkwardly, like a marionette. ‘We had a choice,’ she said.
‘Yes,’ Amy said, steadily. ‘We had a choice. To die with them, or to live. If that’s a choice, then I’d make it again.’
‘We should have gone back,’ Iris said.
Amy could tell her now: that she had gone back. But if Iris knew Amy had opened the door and survived, no matter how miraculously, her sister would take it as proof they had had a choice. She’d never forgive either herself or Amy for what they’d done.
Amy chafed Iris’s cold hands between her own. ‘We don’t look back,’ she urged. ‘We have to look to the living. Promise me, Iris. On Rose’s life,’ she added desperately. ‘You’ll look forward, not back. You won’t let this destroy you.’
‘On Rose’s life,’ Iris said, dully.
‘We’re in this together,’ Amy said. ‘Always.’
Iris pulled her hands away.
‘One day,’ she said, turning her face towards the shore, ‘I’m going to remind you of that.’