Chapter 32
I try to give Sadie privacy while she checks the message that just came through, but when I hear her gasp, I turn my attention back to her.
“You okay?”
She’s staring at her phone and her hand is placed over her chest as if she’s trying to catch her breath.
“Sadie.” My tone comes out firm, because with the way her eyes are bulging and her rapid breathing, I’m worried something terrible has happened. I fist my hands at my side, fighting the urge to reach out to her.
She turns her head to look at me but doesn’t say anything. She glances at her phone then back at me again.
“What is it?” My voice is urgent. What the hell did she read on her phone that has her so distraught?
Sadie takes a steadying breath then flips her phone over on the chair next to her. “It was my sister.”
That’s all she gives me. That does nothing to explain why she just got so worked up over a text message. I know it may not be my place, but I also feel like Sadie and I have connected on a deep enough level to ask her to elaborate.
“Is everything okay?”
She takes a moment to consider my question.
I don’t know much about Sadie’s family other than her parents worked too much and she had to take care of her siblings at a young age.
I’ve also gotten the feeling that her family doesn’t support her.
Sophia has asked about them before, and Sadie is always very quick to change the subject.
I think she may have mentioned they live on the East Coast, but other than that, that piece of her is still a mystery to me.
Sadie finally speaks and when her words come out, they’re shaky. “Everything’s fine. My sister’s engaged.”
Okay. That is not what I was expecting her to say. From the way her chest was heaving and the expression on her face, I was expecting bad news. Maybe someone was hurt or ill.
My face must show my confusion because Sadie snorts.
“I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m acting like a lunatic.”
I cut her off before she can say more. “I don’t think you’re a lunatic.”
She gives me a look that tells me she doesn’t believe me. “No, no. I am acting strange. Most people would be thrilled to hear their little sister is marrying the love of her life.”
“But you’re not.”
Sadie immediately starts shaking her head. “It’s not that. It’s…complicated.”
I wave my hand in front of me, gesturing around at my house and life in general. “If you haven’t noticed, I’m the king of complicated.”
The joke lands, and Sadie releases a real laugh for the first time today. The sound still affects me in a way I can’t quite describe. I wish I could bottle it up and bring it with me to the rink so I could listen to it when I’m having a bad game or things aren’t going our way.
“Your life may be a bit complicated, Niko. Mine…well, mine is a mess. Something I’m sure you have no interest in hearing about.”
“I want to know everything about you.”
The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. Sadie gulps, and I watch her throat work as she swallows.
It’s too late to take the words back, and honestly, I wouldn’t if I could. I have every intention of making this woman stay in our lives and I want her to know just how important and special she is to us. To me.
“Will you tell me?”
My voice is sincere and coated in desperation.
Because I am desperate. I’m desperate to know every piece of the woman sitting in front of me.
I know we’ve been fighting the feelings between us and I don’t know when I changed my mind, but I want her to let me in.
I want her to stay. I want her to see that this—us—isn’t such a bad idea after all.
She brings out the best in me, she makes me see things differently, and I know we could be good together.
Sadie stands and I’m afraid she’s about to run away. She surprises me when she reaches out her hand to me.
“Come on. I’m going to need some liquid courage if you want to hear my tragic story.”
I reach out and grab her hand and pretend to let her help me to my feet. I know I shouldn’t smile, but I can’t help.
She’s letting me in.
When Sadie and I got into the house, Sophia was waiting for us. She wanted to know if she could stay at my parents’ house for the night.
It’s clear to me she’s still not feeling great about what happened with the toilet and Sadie yesterday. I think Sadie could feel it too because she excused herself to her apartment shortly after we got inside and told me she’d be back for dinner.
As much as I want her to stay home so I can help her through it, I’m proud of my daughter for not only telling me what happened, but also asking for space. Even though she didn’t flat out say it, I know that’s what she needs. I mean, she isn’t even five, cut her some slack.
She hasn’t had a sleepover at my parents’ place in a couple weeks, and they’re all too eager to have their favorite girl over for the night.
Sophia and I have just finished packing her overnight bag when I hear the door open, followed by my mom’s voice. “Anybody home?”
“Mummo!” Sophia is too excited to finish the task at hand and she runs out of her room, charging down the steps toward my waiting parents. I grab Sophia’s purple goat and follow her down the steps.
My mom and dad are busy hugging Sophia to even acknowledge my presence.
It hits me just now that since I hired Sadie, they haven’t been over to see us as much as usual.
I know that’s exactly what I wanted for them, more freedom to do what they please, but seeing Sophia with them now makes me feel guilty for the first time since making the new arrangements.
“Thank you guys for taking her for the night. She really missed you.”
The three of them finally pull away from each other. My dad reaches his hand out to take Sophia’s bag and waves me off. “You don’t have to thank us, son. We’re happy to do it. You should know that by now.”
I nod once and walk with them to the front door. My mom grabs my arm and rests her head against me.
“Any big plans on your night off? No hockey. No Sophia. It’s been a while since you’ve had a night to yourself.
” Her voice is light and teasing and by the playful smile on her face, I know she’s wondering if I have a hot date tonight.
My mother was never the meddling type but over the past year, especially since everything that happened with my dad, she’s become way too interested in my love life.
She doesn’t exactly push, but she’s always sliding in a comment or question about if I met anyone new lately. I think she’s afraid of me being alone.
Before I can let her down easy, Sophia answers the question for me.
“Miss Sadie is coming back over for dinner.”
My mother picks her head up off my arm, her eyes widening and a grin spreading across her face at the same time I hear a door close behind me near the garage.
As if Sophia conjured her up herself, Sadie comes walking down the hallway. Every head turns her way and Sadie halts mid-step.
“Oh. Hi, everyone. I hope I’m not interrupting?” Sadie rocks awkwardly and waits in the middle of the hallway.
Sadie met my parents briefly the day she moved into her apartment.
They had stopped by to introduce themselves.
My mother and Sadie bonded over sage cleansing and interior design, but luckily it was Canasta night so they had to leave shortly after.
There wasn’t enough time for my mother to play matchmaker.
But thinking about it now, maybe I could’ve used her help.
No, that’s crazy thinking. I do not need my mother to help set me up with the woman I can’t stop thinking about.
Before I can save Sadie and explain that my parents were just leaving, my mom releases herself from me and walks over to Sadie. She latches onto Sadie’s arm just as she latched onto mine moments ago.
“Of course not, dear! We’re just picking up Sophia for a sleepover. But you probably already knew that.”
Sadie’s eyes widen in shock at my mother’s accusation but I don’t miss the chuckle she tries to hide behind her hand.
“?iti.” I use the Finnish word for “mother,” hoping it grabs her attention.
I walk over to the two of them and put my arm around my mom’s shoulders. I lead her away from Sadie to the door where my dad stands with a smirk of his own on his face. Traitor.
“As much as I’d love for you to stay and chat…” Sadie laughs behind me, and my mother looks at me accusingly. “Don’t you have a movie you need to get to?”
Thankfully my dad ends his smirking and comes to take my mother from me. “He’s right, dear. We should get going.” As he leads her to the door he winks at me over his shoulder.
Good grief.
I stand in the doorway and wave to them as they back out the driveway. I don’t stop waving until their car is out of sight and I can no longer see Sophia’s hand reaching out the back window.
I close the door behind me and slump backward. That moment was way more awkward than it should’ve been. I look toward the ceiling and release a long breath. When I finally look down, Sadie is still standing there, a humorous glint to her eye.
“Something funny, Kulta?”
The nickname slides off my tongue naturally. I don’t mean to say it out loud but it comes out anyway.
Sadie looks stunned for a moment but it’s gone just as fast as it appeared. I’m worried she might ask me to explain the nickname to her but I’m not sure I’m ready to do that. Hell, I’m not sure she’s ready to hear it.
I stay still, holding my breath, waiting for the question. But it doesn’t come. Instead, I find myself laughing at what finally does come out of her mouth.
“I need a drink.”