Chapter 1 #2
She forced a smile. It felt stiff and unfamiliar on her face. ‘Oh yeah, I’m fine. I’m just busy thinking about this campaign.’
The lie was easy to tell.
She thought back to her morning at the apartment, and yet another argument with Jake.
Well, she wasn’t even sure she could properly call it an argument, as all their days were so rushed now that they barely had time to speak to each other, let alone have a full-blown fight.
In truth, they probably needed an explosion.
At the moment, it was like storm clouds were building up above them, and the pressure was intense and stifling.
They needed a burst of thunder, or a spark of lightning, to release it all.
All she knew was that things weren’t right between them.
As if on cue, her phone buzzed. Willow swiped the screen and was immediately presented with a new post by Jake.
His star was rising online and his latest ‘day in the life’ vlog about being a first responder was already building traction.
He was posting more and more of these lately, loving the attention they received.
Willow knew she should be pleased for him.
The truth was, Willow saw her boyfriend more online now than she ever did in real life.
And if she was honest – she was getting pretty sick of it.
Toby nudged her. ‘We better go. Time’s ticking.’ She saw his expression darken slightly as he peered down at the remains of her matcha drink. ‘And you better not let Kirk see you’ve been drinking that stuff, I’m not sure he’d be impressed.’
Willow wiped at her lips guiltily, already feeling like she had been sleeping with the enemy.
But she couldn’t deny it. She liked the taste.
Willow let herself into her small apartment building in the Belltown area, a short bus ride away from work.
It was the cheapest she could find in the area and as a result it wasn’t very glamorous.
The building itself was gray brick and the studio was clean, but very minimal, with magnolia-painted walls and views onto the leafy street beyond.
It wasn’t too noisy, and with Jake’s help, Willow was able to make her rent payments, but sometimes she couldn’t help dreaming of more.
That same ache was inside her now as she threw down her purse and walked around the small space.
Jake wasn’t back and wouldn’t be for some time, yet ironically, it felt more claustrophobic without him here.
She wandered into the kitchen to make herself a drink, trying to distract herself.
This desperate sense of longing and a sad feeling of not belonging was becoming more and more insistent and she yearned to shake it off.
When Jake and Willow had first moved to Seattle, they had both been so excited; it had been a joint dream. They had been so young at eighteen and craved big-city life.
When Willow secured a junior marketing role at Café Crème, it had been their first step on this huge adventure.
They had left behind a quiet, and what they had both viewed as a quite mundane routine, back in Honey Springs – a small resort nestled high up in the Olympic Mountains.
Growing up in a small town had its challenges and Willow could remember how desperate they had been to spread their wings and leave.
But now her mind kept drifting back to the peace and serenity that her childhood home offered.
Yes, it could be suffocating at times, and everybody there always knew her business – but it was home.
And it was safe and familiar. Even better, it had had the safety and comfort of her grandma, Martha, the person who had more or less brought her up.
Right now, Willow didn’t feel any of these things. Instead, her surroundings felt sterile and cold. And her job – the one she had fought so hard to succeed in – was beginning to feel toxic and lonely.
This apartment was so empty, especially without Jake in it. She thought back to their rushed morning, how he had hugged her briefly and grazed a kiss against her cheek.
‘I’ll probably be late tonight, babe. After my shift, a few of us are going out for drinks to celebrate Lola getting promoted.’
Willow wondered dryly whether he would be documenting that on his ‘day in a life’ too.
Willow drank her water slowly, staring out at the streets beyond. She heard her phone buzzing in her bag but chose to ignore it for a while. She knew she had lots of messages from Esmae that she needed to deal with. She also knew that Jake’s latest post was continuing to blow up.
While she was struggling in this new life they had built, Jake was flourishing.
He loved Seattle and more importantly, he loved the life he was starting to build for himself online.
But it was different for Willow. At first, she had loved it here and had slipped into her new corporate role quite effortlessly.
It had been easy enough to forget about her life before.
That was until Grandma died. A year had passed since that awful day, but Willow knew it had caused a shift inside her.
Staring out at the view, Willow focused on the horizon. Even though it was impossible, she swore if she squinted hard enough, she could make out the soft outline of those familiar mountains.
It was almost as if something, or maybe someone, was calling her back.
Willow decided, after a little bit of daydreaming, that it was time to call Esmae.
She could have simply sent her an email, outlining why they couldn’t use her on campaigns moving forward.
Certainly, this would be the approach Kirk would take.
But Willow was not Kirk and she had worked with Esmae for nearly two years now.
In fact, Esmae had taken a chance on them when her reach was at its greatest.
The least she deserved was a phone call.
Esmae answered the phone quietly, almost as if she knew what was to come.
‘I’m sorry for the late call,’ Willow said gently. ‘I wanted to wait until I was outside of the office.’
‘That’s OK. I appreciate you phoning anyway.’ Esmae’s voice was still bright, but Willow could detect the slight crack in it. ‘And don’t worry, I know what you’re about to say.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ Willow whispered. And she truly was.
Esmae was a great influencer. Her account was fresh and funny and had millions of subscribers, or at least it had until her cancelation.
‘What will you do next?’ Willow asked carefully.
‘Oh, don’t worry about me,’ she replied. ‘Me and Jed are thinking about heading to the West Coast, for some beach and sun and pure relaxation. These past few years have been heavy, you know? I’ve barely stopped for breath.’
Willow nodded. She knew that feeling all too well.
‘I’m beginning to think this could all be a good thing,’ Esmae continued breathlessly.
‘I can jump off the social media fast train and get some headspace, you know what I mean? I can take some time to find out what I really want to do next.’
‘That sounds perfect, Es,’ Willow said. ‘I’m almost jealous of you.’
Esmae laughed softly. ‘You could do the same, Willow. Any time. Just jump off whenever you want. It’s never too late. After all, life is precious, isn’t it? We should figure out exactly where we want to be and what we want to be doing with our lives. Not just making it up as we go along.’
‘Maybe you’re right.’
‘Don’t be scared of change, honey. I was for too long and in the end, I was pushed out. Sometimes I think fate takes us where we need to be.’
Willow ended the call with a smile. She was relieved that Esmae was making plans. It sounded like it would more or less work out for her.
Willow just wished that niggle of jealousy stinging her heart would go away.
Later, she curled up on the sofa. Her takeout pizza lay half discarded on the table beside her.
She was reading messages from Jake. He was on his way back home.
Willow knew he would be tipsy and also excited about his latest post. At her last check, Willow saw that it had nearly a million views.
She also noticed that the key influencer Alex Rose had shared it. That was pretty impressive.
Yet Esmae’s words kept repeating in her mind.
I need to jump off the social media train …
Sometimes I think fate takes us where we need to be …
Willow longed for those early days with Jake when they had been so in love and caught up in the moment.
They hadn’t been documenting every second of their life together online.
Willow knew she was as guilty of it as Jake.
As soon as she started her marketing job in Seattle, the habit to upload their lives had kicked in.
Everything they did together was posted – every meal, every day out, every success.
It was exhausting.
And it wasn’t real.
She didn’t record their arguments. She didn’t post about her lonely nights in, like this one, or her cold uneaten pizza. Or the fact that she no longer loved her job. In fact, she didn’t even like it.
She didn’t post any of that.
Willow felt a tug of longing again. Without thinking too much about it, she reached for her laptop and clicked onto the home page of Honey Springs.
Immediately, the images swamped her and it was almost as if she could smell the fresh mountain scent of home.
Willow scrolled through the pages, smiling as each image brought back a sweet memory – the fields where they used to play and the cute little colorful houses and shops that sat jumbled together on the roads leading from the mountains.
When she was only seven years old, her mom had left town to find a new life in Boston, leaving only Willow, her grandma and some childhood friends still living there.
Later, her mom had offered Willow the chance to move with her to Boston, but by then, Willow had been an independent teen and was settled where she was.
It had been Jake’s idea to move to Seattle when they were both eighteen. It seemed the right thing to do at the time. They were in love, and he was training to be a first responder and could do that work anywhere. Jake had never really liked being in a small town and was always itching to leave.
Willow used to speak to her grandma weekly before she died; she knew not much had changed in their sleepy town, and there was something both comforting and wonderful in that thought. There were no fast trains to fall off in Honey Springs.
There you could take your time to really find out what you wanted to be.
A tug of sadness hit her as she thought of the wonderful woman who had helped raise her when her mom had been too busy running off with other men and setting up a life of her own.
Willow clicked on another image of Honey Springs.
It was of The Diner, one of her favorite places to go when she was a teenager.
She used to hang out there with Jake and other kids from school, drinking the most amazing milkshakes.
Willow peered at the picture: it looked like the outside of The Diner had been repainted.
She wondered who owned it now. It used to be Mel’s before she got sick.
Willow liked Mel a lot. She had been the life and soul of the town and had always taken the time to talk to her customers.
Mel’s son, Lucas, was the same age as Willow and Jake and had been in the same grade as them in school.
Willow knew him as a dark-haired thoughtful boy, who she had been good friends with, especially when they were a lot younger.
They drifted a little when she had gotten close to Jake and that was something she had always thought was sad.
Lucas was sweet and funny and one of the cleverest people she knew.
She wondered where he was now. She guessed he was probably a long way away from Honey Springs. He always used to say that he dreamed of getting away.
Willow continued searching through the site, liking how the memories were settling her. Jake would tell her she was being silly doing this. He would tell her there was nothing left for them back in Honey Springs and he was probably right.
And yet she was still drawn in.
Then she noticed a link on the page’s forum.
An anonymous user had shared it with the title ‘Dullest Towns in the US’.
She frowned as she clicked on the video, quickly realizing it was by a well-known YouTuber who liked to stir up controversy.
The guy critiqued the sleepy little shops, saying they were ‘boring’ and ‘outdated’.
Willow felt a rush of outrage for her hometown.
How dare he say these things? It was clearly rage-bait.
She decided it wasn’t even worth watching and quickly clicked away again.
She went back instead to the safety of the homepage and clicked on the ‘noticeboard’ section, wondering if there were any updates that might be interesting. Most of the posts were of yard sales and concerts at the church, but one post caught her eye.
It was an advertisement.
Van for sale.
Fully equipped to sell food/coffee/snacks.
Just needs a fresh coat of paint.
Must sell quickly. Bargain price.
Contact Jenn.
Two things flashed into Willow’s mind immediately. The first was that this was Jenn Havers her old school friend and complete nutcase. How on earth had she gotten herself a van?
And the second was how much Willow suddenly wanted it.