Chapter 12
Lucas
Lucas woke up after another poor night’s sleep.
It had been getting worse and nothing seemed to help.
Sometimes, he simply couldn’t sleep at all and spent the night staring into darkness, willing his body to give in.
Other times, he was simply plagued by dark and twisted dreams that left him waking up in knotted, sweaty bedsheets, too fearful to close his eyes again.
Last night was the latter.
Lucas couldn’t always remember the dreams that haunted him, only that his mom had featured in some way.
She often did. Perhaps it wasn’t bad that he was dreaming about her, but the painful gut realization that she wasn’t still there when he woke up was a killer blow.
However, today, he remembered everything.
He dreamed that his mom was walking alongside the road that led out of Honey Springs. She was smiling and waving at him.
She couldn’t see the car coming up behind her.
Lucas could and he had time to run towards her, to push her out of the way – but his legs wouldn’t move; it was like they were cemented in place. He was completely stuck and motionless, forced to watch as the scene unfurled in front of him.
His mom kept smiling and waving in his direction.
‘Goodbye, Luc. I love you.’
Lucas was screaming.
‘Move! Move, Mom!’
The car hit her and she flew like a rag doll in the air. He knew that she would land painfully. He knew this would be the end.
Then he woke up.
A horrible, sickening dream coated in reality, and even now, Lucas was struggling to remove the images from his mind. It was like they were burned deep into his retinas. He knew he had to get up, get busy. It was the only way to quieten his cluttered mind.
He walked into his kitchen and poured himself a cold glass of water and glugged it down fast, realizing how dry his throat was – almost like he was screaming all night for real.
He had to stop worrying. It was just a dream.
But what was it Mia told him? That he had these dreams more when he was stressed out.
Or when he was overthinking something. He rubbed his bracelet subconsciously, trying to calm himself.
Mia had often come into his room in New York and gently shaken him awake.
She had been worried about him and hated seeing him all worked up.
Lucas didn’t liked to talk to her about his worries though.
Mia was his kid sister; he was meant to look out for her, not the other way around.
Besides, she had her own crap to deal with.
Not least, that idiot boyfriend of hers who Lucas tried desperately to pretend to like.
Lucas knew he had to find a way to chill out.
He glanced at the books stacked on his kitchen table.
They were the accounts for the past few months.
Just looking at them again made a sick feeling rise in his throat.
One book lay open where he had been reading last night.
He slammed it shut and walked away. Perhaps if he couldn’t see the bleak figures, they would go away – like his dreams.
This was all too hard. He had to open up The Diner in less than an hour. He had to get his shit together – have a cool shower and ground himself back into the present. That was what Mia was always nagging him to do – focus on the here and now and stop worrying about the future.
When the hell did he ever listen to Mia?
And why was he suddenly missing her so badly?
His shower was short and sharp and helped a little.
The dream was starting to fragment away like the bubbles slipping down the drain.
His shoulders began to relax. His thoughts started to shift and change.
He thought of Willow and how close they had been briefly yesterday.
A warmth seeped through his body. He drew a long, deep breath and headed down to The Diner to open up.
He couldn’t afford to think about her now. That was where the danger lay.
And that’s when he heard the noise outside.
It was chatter. Loud and a bit chaotic. He pulled up one of the blinds and peered out, feeling like he had turned into one of the Parker twins. There was a delivery truck parked next to Jenn’s stupid van and a small crowd was gathered outside. And right in the center of it was Willow.
Well, of course she would be. Why wouldn’t she?
He considered going out there, but he didn’t want to come across as too interested.
After all, this had to be some kind of passing phase, didn’t it?
There was no way Willow was back for any length of time.
This was probably some kind of publicity campaign that she had dreamed up to improve her reach.
As much as Lucas hated to admit it, he had looked up Willow online before she had come back here.
This had been during some of his darker days when he was thinking back to the happier times they had together.
It was clear she was high flying in marketing and had lots of social media pages showcasing her talents.
This was someone with drive and ambition, who had long left the dirt of this small town behind.
And she had looked glamorous and beautiful in all her photos, showcasing a life that seemed completely alien to Lucas.
Lucas had looked up Jake too, although he wasn’t sure why.
He really was the last person he wanted to see.
That had been even more irritating. As much as he’d hoped that the guy would end up in a dead-end job, he never imagined he would be some huge influencer flexing his muscles and telling his brave stories to his millions of followers.
Even worse, he was a first responder, a hero – saving lives.
Could he be any more perfect? He was a walking, talking, all-action Ken doll.
Just last night, Lucas had come across a recent upload Jake had made. On first sight, it looked like a pretty sincere, powerful speech, but it had turned Lucas’s stomach. There was something so wrong about it, so fake.
Thinking of it again was enough to make Lucas clench his jaw. What could he post on his social media? The latest burgers he had whipped up, or a milkshake that was selling well? He had been stung by the industry before, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to stick his finger in that crappy pie again.
He glared through the glass wondering what was going on out there.
It seemed Willow was dealing with a delivery and chatting to some locals as she loaded up the van.
He saw a box with ‘matcha’ written on it and frowned.
She hadn’t changed her mind then. It was obviously creating a bit of a buzz.
People loved shiny new things here. They circled around the van like it was some kind of jewel, but Lucas knew better than anyone that the interest never lasted.
As soon as the novelty wore off, the people in this town wanted the same things – familiarity and comfort.
Surely, the Parkers would be right; nobody would be interested in this matcha fad.
He pulled the blind shut and walked slowly over to the counter, feeling a little heavier than before.
He hadn’t wanted to take over this business.
It wasn’t on his list of dreams. Years ago, he had longed for so much more.
At first, he had been so angry at his mom for leaving it to him in her will.
It felt like a rock around his neck, pulling him down and binding him to the town.
But slowly over time, he had accepted his fate.
He owed it to his mom to try and make the best of this.
Janice had helped him, of course. She had worked here for years; she was the one that kept him going when he doubted himself.
It hadn’t been easy, especially in the early days. The days had dragged into one. Lucas was distracted. He was grieving. He wasn’t thinking straight.
He had the bright idea to introduce new menus.
Different ideas. Moussaka from Greece. Beef bourguignon from France.
Desserts that even he hadn’t heard of before.
He figured these were tastes that locals may never have experienced.
He thought he was being clever. He thought he was taking things in a more exciting direction.
Janice tried to talk him out of it, but he wasn’t listening. He was pigheaded.
Those things didn’t sell. The people wanted the same old same old – hamburgers, fries, Mel’s special meatloaf.
Lucas was losing money fast. Janice tried to reassure him.
She told him that the folk round here wanted tastes that they were familiar with.
They wanted the safe, cozy diner that Mel had created in the first place.
But Lucas took it as another blow. It was a sign he couldn’t be a success in his own right.
This came at the same time as that idiot influencer, who came into town wanting to prove that Honey Springs was one of the dullest places in the US.
Lucas knew he should have dealt with him better.
It was partly his fault that things went as badly as they did, and it ended up being the final straw.
Home was where his heart was. And his home would never be radical, or new, or exciting – it would simply stay the same. He no longer expected, or wanted, it to change.
Honey Springs would always be a quiet little dead-end town, with people that were too scared to embrace anything new. Perhaps that really did make it dull. Who cared? Lucas knew he no longer did. Dull was better than soulless.
Lucas looked towards the door and thought of Willow.
She was going to find out the same for herself soon enough.
Therefore, it was probably good if she didn’t stick around for too long. For her sake.
She’d only end up disappointed.
A little later that morning, the bell jangled and Willow walked in. Her face looked flushed with happiness and her hair was loose around her face, almost messy. Jeez, she looked stunning. Lucas could feel something stir inside of him but tried to ignore it.
‘It’s been pretty busy out there.’ She giggled. ‘I’ve been loading up the van. Quite a few people are already showing interest.’
Lucas had been studying a crossword that old Ernie had left out on the table. He pushed it to one side of the counter.
‘That’s good. I have to admit, I’m surprised though. Business hasn’t exactly been great around here lately.’
Willow peered around the almost-empty room. ‘I’m sorry to hear that. Hopefully, the van will bring in new customers?’
Lucas offered her a weary smile. ‘Here’s hoping …’
‘Hey …’ Her honey eyes were wide as she approached him, it was so hard for him to look into them.
There was something about her – some kind of fresh energy that seemed to burn around her like sunshine.
It was quite mesmerizing, but also painful.
Didn’t they always warn you never to stare at the sun for too long?
‘I was hoping to use the bathroom, if that’s alright?’ she continued, sounding uncertain.
‘Sure.’ Lucas gestured towards it, even though he knew she knew the way. He made himself not watch her walk away and instead tried to focus again on the crossword.
Why did she still have to be with Jake? He glared at the page as if it might have the answers. Of course, there was nothing there. What solution could there possibly be to this problem? He had been in love with Willow for as long as he could remember.
And now she was back – still as beautiful and sweet and engaging as ever, but they could never be together.
Moments later, she drifted back into the room. He could smell Janice’s lavender hand lotion on her skin.
‘Can I get you anything from the van? A matcha to say thank you.’
‘There’s no need,’ he replied casually. ‘I’ll come by later and try one though.’
‘Is that a promise?’ Her eyes twinkled.
‘Yeah, why not. It won’t kill me, will it?’
‘I sure hope not.’
There was the briefest of pauses. She rested her hands on the surface opposite him. Lucas stared down at her long, slender fingers, at her bright pink nails. That warm feeling rushed through him again and he had to swallow back his thoughts.
‘It was lovely spending time with you yesterday, even though it was brief,’ Willow said softly. ‘It reminded me of how things used to be between us.’
‘Did it?’
‘Yeah. Didn’t you feel the same? I want us to be friends again, Luc. In fact, right now I really need it.’
He could hear the raw truth in her voice. All he wanted to do was take those small hands in his. And then lean forward and kiss those lips – those soft, perfectly plump lips …
‘Luc? Are you OK?’
‘Yeah. Yeah. I’m just tired, that’s all.’ He rubbed his head to make the point. ‘And this damn crossword is driving me nuts.’
He pushed it towards her. Her eyes grazed over it.
‘Seventeen down – difficult or involved …’ Her finger tapped the paper. ‘It’s “complicated”.’
You’re telling me, Lucas thought dryly, watching as she waved and left The Diner.
You’re telling me.