Chapter Eighteen #2
The bed that had reminded her so much of newfound joy this morning now mocked her for a fool.
She didn’t approach it, but stood at the window staring out at the bare winter landscape emerging from the beautifying snow.
Cobwebs of frost decorated the formal garden. The birdbath in its center was frozen.
She re-ran their argument, thinking of all the things she should have said.
The difference between my sister’s marriage and Elizabeth marrying Dr. Logan is that we know Dr. Logan very well.
He is not a stranger giving us only impressions of his character.
And Charlotte’s courtship was sudden and short. Why hadn’t she said that?
It was too late to change what had been said. At least she now knew his implacable character.
And that she had been wrong. She could not give up her independence to marry this man for the sake of her family.
Light-headed, she sank onto a nearby chair. What was to become of them? Dread pooled in her stomach.
For long minutes, she sat staring out her window, unseeing, her mind numb.
Finally, her brain unfogged. She remembered. There was a signed contract to save her family from penury. Tears of relief slid down her face. She stifled gulping sobs with her handkerchief.
Charlotte and Anna found Jane still sitting before the window minutes later. She had stopped crying and welcomed them. They saw her drying tears and demanded answers.
Her voice still husky from crying, she said, “I made a terrible mistake in agreeing to marry Lord Dalton.”
Both looked shocked. “He is devoted to you, Jane. I hope I can make such a good match. He is so handsome and gentlemanly,” Anna said.
“That’s not what is important. Appearances can deceive,” Charlotte chided her sister quietly. She had to be thinking of her own experience.
Jane felt obliged to defend the man. “I’m sure he will make an excellent husband for someone who does not mind having decisions made for them and their opinions ignored. Unfortunately, that is not me. I was mistaken in thinking that either he or I could change. It is not to be.”
“Oh, Jane, I’m so sorry.” Anna hugged her. “I will return to Lord and Lady Marchmere’s service instead of giving notice, so we have an income.”
“And I will find a governess position also,” Charlotte said.
Jane shook her head. “No need for either of you to do so. With a little economy we shall be fine. Lord Dalton agreed to pay me an allowance should either of us not wish to proceed with the marriage. And you will have a small dowry from him also.”
Anna looked perplexed. “What? You will be paid an allowance and we are to have dowries? Although you won’t marry Lord Dalton? I have never heard of such a thing.”
Jane nodded. “It’s true. Lord Dalton has been very generous in the settlements, and we agreed that if we did not suit, as this was a marriage of convenience, then there would be some compensation.”
“A marriage of convenience?” Charlotte asked. Her brow was furrowed in confusion. “What utter rot. I have never seen two people more smitten with each other. It appears I have missed a delusion being created.”
Jane thought Charlotte had said enough. “We have tried to make the best of it.”
“Well, you have succeeded,” was Charlotte’s blunt retort. “Why don’t you think about your options for a little longer? This sounds very like a lovers’ tiff gone awry to me.”
“Yes, do, Jane,” Anna agreed. “Don’t make a hasty decision.”
I wouldn’t change my mind this time.
“Jane, does your breaking off your engagement with Lord Dalton have anything to do with something that I heard Lord Marchmere tell his wife?” Anna asked.
What could Anna mean? “I don’t know what Lord Marchmere may have said regarding our engagement.”
Her gaze going anywhere but to Jane’s face, Anna explained.
“I... I heard him tell his wife that Lord Dalton was to be congratulated... in both getting himself an attractive wife for breeding so quickly after coming into his inheritance, and silencing a damaging political voice at the same time.” She fidgeted on her chair and hurried to say, “He laughed when he said it, in that nasty way he has. He is not a pleasant man. I am very glad that his wife is far different. I truly don’t know why she married him. ”
Silencing a damaging political voice? Jane was so distracted by the first part of Anna’s speech, deep in thought trying to assimilate the information, that she scarcely acknowledged Anna’s last comments. What relationship did Lord Marchmere have with Jonathan?
Whatever its nature, there were other things for her to do right now. “I must speak with Lady Elizabeth,” she said. “Dr. Logan leaves tomorrow, and I think we all should do the same while the weather allows it. Perhaps now is the time for us to pack for our departure.”
Her sisters hugged her and left the room.
A few minutes later, Jane found Lady Elizabeth sitting on a sofa in the morning room with Dr. Logan.
“Did you speak with Jonathan?” Elizabeth asked, her face eager for good news.
Jane dipped her chin in a brief nod. “But to no avail. He’s insistent that you wait.”
“We can wait,” Dr. Logan said, giving Elizabeth’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “He may relent long before five years are concluded,” he told her.
Although Dr. Logan appeared confident their relationship would endure, Jane suspected, in view of his previous hesitation due to Elizabeth’s age, he may have been happy to accept a delay to ensure Elizabeth’s affections continued unchanged.
“I shan’t wait longer than my twenty-first birthday, Marcus. I will be old enough then to make my own decisions. I’m sure we can live on your income if necessary.”
Jane smiled reassuringly at her friend. At least Elizabeth is adamant her feelings won’t change.
Jane requested leave to travel to London with Dr. Logan. He swiftly agreed and volunteered to ride while they used the carriage. Elizabeth and Dr. Logan left to spend their last day together on a long walk in the park now that warmer weather had arrived.