Chapter Eighteen #3
Jane returned to her room to pack before confronting Jonathan, still mulling over Anna’s revelation about Lord Marchmere’s words.
Luncheon was a subdued occasion for everyone, a change from their previous meals together. Jane asked Jonathan if she might speak with him afterward and he nodded his agreement. Everyone dispersed quickly from the table for their pursuits during their last afternoon.
Behind the closed door of the library, they stood face-to-face with the width of the room between them. Jane launched her set speech. “Lord Dalton—”
He glared at her.
“Jonathan. I wish to depart Everslie Park tomorrow morning with Dr. Logan and my sisters.”
Jonathan took a step toward her, arm outstretched. “Why, Jane?”
She stepped back.
He halted. “Is this because of my refusal to allow Elizabeth to become engaged to Dr. Logan just yet?” He shook his head. “I thought you would understand my reasons.”
“Understanding your reasons is not the problem. Agreeing with them is! I foresee that should I marry you, I will have little hope of my opinions having any impact upon your reasoning. I need time to consider whether I can live that way for the rest of my life.”
He took another step forward. “If that is all, then surely we can talk this through.”
Jane sliced the air with her hand. “No! If that were all, perhaps, but it is not. I now find that our engagement has been some sort of political tactic to silence or discredit me and my cause.”
Jonathan’s mouth flattened into a grim line. “Nonsense. I am entirely sincere in my intentions and affections. I would not have taken you to bed otherwise.”
“Fine words, sir, but Lord Marchmere has been boasting of your success in gaining both a wife for heirs and a political advantage in one fell swoop! Anna has it from the horse’s mouth! You cannot deny the charge.”
“I can and I do, Jane. I have not treated you false. Marchmere is an arrogant swine who likes to let his mouth run off with him. I assure you that what he says is not true.”
Jane would have liked to believe him but didn’t see how she could, when all the evidence and his recent edicts seemed to confirm him as a hardened conservative.
“Whether what Lord Marchmere said is true or not is moot. I wish to leave tomorrow. I will consider all that you have said and done since I have known you to try to discern the truth of it. I will let you know within the week whether I wish to continue with our engagement... unless of course, you wish to dissolve it now.”
Jonathan looked stricken, but his face hardened even as she watched.
“No, I do not wish to abandon our engagement, and considering our actions last night, I think you ought not either. Neither of us would wish the consequences of our actions to be a bastard child. I need an heir, and you need your reputation.”
Jane’s reply was icy. “Thank you for putting my options so clearly, Lord Dalton.”
“They are what they are.” He sounded bitter.
She glanced away from him. “I will let you know my decision.”
The sadness on his face turned to anger. He glared at her.
“I have been living in a dream world for the last few days. I suspect it was the relief of having saved Charlotte, but there is no excuse for my naivety. You have not changed. Your attitude to women and their role in this world has not changed.” Saddened by the interview, Jane staggered from the room, her limbs leaden.
Another unhappy meal passed. Not even Katherine was oblivious to the tensions between Jane and Jonathan and the other couple. A quiet evening followed, with the men segregated from the women.
Early the next morning, the house party broke up. Lady Elizabeth gave a heartrending farewell to her wished-for lover. Dr. Logan was his usual courteous and confident self as he thanked Lord Dalton for his hospitality and understanding.
Jonathan shook his hand warmly and stated his hope to see him in London before parliament resumed.
Then it was Jane’s turn to farewell her host and hostess. She hugged Lady Elizabeth warmly. “Have faith. You will get the right result in the end when your brother sees sense,” she whispered in her friend’s ear.
Jane turned to Jonathan. His eyes were bloodshot, his face unshaven. This was the man who had come to assist her in saving her sister, who had been kindness itself to her over the last few weeks, who had in one night shown her what she had thought were the mysteries of love.
Now, it appeared the whole time, from their meeting to Christmas night, was a pretense.
Not love, but lust and the desire to gain political acclaim.
It was hard to believe, but the truth seemed plain.
Had he also been responsible for the sordid rumors about their association?
Those rumors that had led to her becoming his fiancée out of financial necessity.
She desperately needed to be alone to think.
Jonathan bowed formally over her hand. Wordlessly, he assisted her into the carriage with her sisters and closed the door. He was frowning but his eyes looked sad as he made his last farewell.
She might never see him again.