Chapter 22 Hazel
Hazel
The next couple of weeks went by in a blur. A slow, chaotic blur.
Though the police were never able to identify who had done the damage, my car had indeed been totaled.
I received a rather ungenerous amount from the insurance company, and I tried browsing for something to replace it with at the dealership, but I got overwhelmed and decided I’d rather wait until Milton was home.
He knew cars better than I did, and I was getting better at asking others for help.
The texts between Milton and me became more real and intimate, making the anticipation of him getting home that much more unbearable. But as time drew near, I was able to keep myself busy.
Well, Genesis kept me busy. The week leading up to her wedding was full of last-minute runs to fabric stores, florists, and the local print shop.
She was a master DIY-er, but she overloaded her plate and needed Skylar and me to rescue her from canceling the whole thing.
We knew she wouldn’t actually do that, but she was losing her mind, and I wanted to do everything in my power to make sure she had the day she deserved.
I didn’t mind being her errand girl though.
I’d finished painting the mural in Milton’s entryway sometime last week, and I was thrilled to have something new to occupy my time.
As excited as I was for Milton to be home, I still had to tackle the hurdle of attending my first wedding since getting divorced.
I knew the day was about my best friend and celebrating her love for a man who made her feel complete again after the life-shattering loss of her first husband. But receiving the final decree of divorce via email this morning wasn’t the ideal way to start the day of my best friend’s wedding.
On one hand, it was a huge relief and one worth celebrating with my friends who knew what I’d escaped.
On the other hand, it was this final nail in the coffin of my failed marriage.
A reminder of a love I’d fought so hard for, only for it not to be enough.
And at the end, it was hard not to replay it all.
The good and the ugly. The memories worth keeping and the ones I wished I could forget.
I found myself wishing I could forget the lot of it.
Everything to do with him.
With Devan.
But then I wouldn’t have the strength I needed to stand up for myself or leave where I was no longer wanted.
I wouldn’t know the warning signs to look for so that I’d never go back to a love like that again.
I wouldn’t be the me I was now. And I liked her.
I took my time getting ready. Showering, blow-drying my hair, curling it the way I liked, pinning my curls with rollers as I waited for them to cool, then sipping my coffee while I decided what to do with my makeup.
Caffeine wasn’t helping me relax, but I couldn’t imagine going into the day without it.
I wanted to be sharp and full of energy for her, but there was a fine line between that and an anxiety-ridden mess.
Deciding on a more natural glam look, with a hint of green shadow on my lower lash line to match my dress, I slid into the satin fabric and fastened it around my neck.
My blonde hair cascaded down my back as I took out each billowy curl one at a time, then clipped one side behind my ear and out of my face.
Standing in front of the mirror, I felt more beautiful and put together than I had since the Ballads for Hope Fest. This was a far more elegant look than what I’d worn there, but there was something about getting dolled up in a special outfit with hair and makeup fixed just right that could make you hold your head a little higher.
The odds of a nip slip in this dress were surprisingly similar to the sheer shirt and flimsy shortalls, and I was sad not to have my tattooed hero around in case I needed rescuing.
There were giant black letters in front of Genesis and Cam’s house that read the last name, Flora.
An archway with flowers was to the left, leading the guests around to their backyard.
I stepped out of Milton’s Chevelle in my strappy white heels, smoothing my hands over the front of my dress and taking a deep breath before following some of Cam’s family through the yard.
The guest list was only thirty-two people, but it was beautiful and vibrant and loud in all the best ways, just like Genesis. Round tables with tablecloths and chairs were spaced out along the grass with the colorful floral arrangements that Skylar and I had helped put together.
Their gazebo in the middle of the yard was covered in clematis flowers and ivy, with string lights draping along the posts. It was a stunning setup, and I couldn’t wait to see how romantic it looked when the sun went down.
I found Skylar talking with one of Cam’s friends, sipping a glass of champagne. She fucking hated champagne, so there had to be a reason she was toasting to something, and I had a feeling it wasn’t on Genesis’s behalf.
She waved me over and shooed the man away, giving me a look of hesitancy, like she was gauging my emotional state.
I’d sent her a screenshot of the email from this morning, letting her know it was finally finished.
That Devan and I were finally divorced. Legally anyway.
She tried to hide the sparkle of joy in her eyes, but was doing a poor job at it.
“So, did you and Lucifer throw a dance party when you got my text earlier?” I teased, trying to make light of it.
She shrugged, setting down her glass on the table next to us. “There might have been some air gyrating while I blasted A Quiet Peril.”
I snorted, already feeling lighter in her presence.
“How are you doing?” she asked.
“I’m fine. Relieved.”
She tilted her head, seeing right through me. “How are you really doing?”
“I don’t know. I am okay, which feels … strange,” I admitted. “It’s a lot to process, I guess. I knew the finality of it was coming, but I honestly expected it to be a lot heavier than it is or the weight of it to hit me harder, you know?”
“You feel lighter, you mean?” she asked, hopeful.
“I think so? More numb than anything, but I don’t know if that’s just me trying to make it through the day so I don’t ruin anything for Genesis or if I really just don’t feel anything.”
Skylar rubbed my arm, pulling up the side of her mouth with a reassuring smile.
“I’m glad it’s over. I am,” I told her. And myself. “I just wish it hadn’t been this long-drawn-out process, constantly reminding me of him just when I found moments of peace.”
“Well, this is the last one, right? The final reminder of that asshole. And of course, he had to sabotage the day our bestie gets married.” She rolled her eyes with annoyance, even though we both knew this hadn’t been his doing. It was just unfortunate timing.
I sighed. “I wish this were, but I still have to go get the rest of my things from the house one of these days.”
“Oh my God, I forgot you still have stuff there!” Her eyes bulged. “You can’t go there alone! Promise me you won’t go there alone!”
“I’ve been too scared to.”
“Uhh, yeah! Because he’s fucking insane!” She shook her head. “No. No fucking way are you going over there. Not now. Not after your car was destroyed!”
“Honestly, the more time that passes, I realize I don’t really need any of it.
It’s just clothes, and I can replace them.
There are some photo albums and stuff from our life together, but I don’t want any of that.
The only thing I want to go back for is my mom’s perfume bottle. It’s all I have left of her.”
“You still have a key? Can the three of us try to sneak in when he’s at work one day?”
“He’s probably changed the locks by now.”
“It’s worth a try though, right?”
“Yeah, maybe,” I said thoughtfully.
There was some movement around the side of the house. Cam and a bunch of guys hurried over like there was something urgent.
Worrying that something was wrong with Genesis, Skylar and I scurried over to see what was happening. By the time we reached them, the men were already dispersing, besides Cam and a few others, who were herding a dark-haired man into his vehicle.
Ice shot through my veins when I saw the logo on the side of the truck he climbed into.
What the hell is Devan doing here?
Cam spun around, his frown disappearing when he saw me standing there, fixing his tie back into place.
Skylar threaded her hand with mine as Devan’s truck sped off down the quiet suburban neighborhood.
My skin itched, anxiety crawling all over my body. I wanted to disappear into the background—or at the very least, apologize to Cam—but he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder before I could.
“Don’t worry about it, Hazel. We got him out of here.” Cam gave me an understanding smile before returning to the backyard. His freaking wedding.
My throat went dry, and it became hard to swallow. Embarrassment snaked up my spine.
“Why would he come here?” Skylar grimaced.
My eyes began to burn. “I have no idea.”
“Right. Well, we’re not going to worry about that, okay? He’s gone, and all is right in the world.” She forced a grin, trying to cheer me up.
“What if he comes back?” I asked, glancing down the empty street.
“He won’t.”
“But what if he does?” I insisted.
“Look at me,” Skylar commanded. “If that man comes back here—which he won’t—I will personally kick the ever-loving shit out of him. So will everyone here, okay? But don’t you dare let him win today. Our best friend is getting married, and you get to enjoy that with her.”
I nodded. Taking a deep breath, I pushed away the tears threatening to surface and every thought of my ex-husband that dared to linger in the forefront of my brain.
Don’t let him win.
And I didn’t.
Not until I pulled Milton’s car into the garage, walked through the house, and sank onto the floor beside Sweets.
Only then did I let Devan win.