Chapter 27 Hazel
Hazel
Iballed my hands into fists, trying to stop them from shaking as Milton, Danny, Lexie, and Liam all ascended the front steps to my house. Well, what used to be anyway.
Sitting in the passenger seat, I was having this sort of out-of-body experience, waiting for it to all unfold without me.
I mean, this was absolutely insane. If someone had told me a few months ago that A Quiet Peril was going to do my dirty work for me at my ex’s, I’d have laughed in their face.
But then I had fallen for their drummer, and here we were.
They all exchanged glances before Lexie pushed forward, rapping her knuckles on the door. Milton had my spare key, just in case. The house was still in my name after all, so I had the right to enter, and I was extending that right to some friends.
The key was just in case Devan didn’t answer, but his truck was in the driveway, where it always was, right in front of the left stall. He usually wasn’t home at this hour, but he must’ve stopped home for lunch if the job he was working on was close by.
My heart raced as the door swung open, and I saw Devan’s face appear through the cracks between Milton’s and Liam’s shoulders. I’d always thought he was a pretty large guy when I was married to him, but he looked so small next to the three of them. In more ways than one.
Lexie was tiny, but her attitude was big, and I was grateful to be standing on the right side of it.
Devan’s face contorted with confusion and irritation before he shook his head. Whatever was said next made him look over their shoulders at where I was in the car.
Milton quickly sidestepped, blocking Devan’s view of me, but the unease of having his eyes on me pooled in my stomach.
There was a bit of a scuffle, aggressive hand gestures, and a bunch of shoulders squaring up. Danny turned sideways, and I caught a glimpse of Devan’s face that had turned three shades of red darker in a matter of seconds.
The feeling in my stomach twisted as they all entered the house at once, pushing him aside. I should’ve gone up there with them. I should’ve gone inside and tried to talk to him. I knew he wouldn’t listen, but I should’ve gone anyway. A coward hid, and that was just what I was.
The door was left ajar as the five of them disappeared into the house. I couldn’t see much from here, but I traced the layout of the house in my mind while I waited, wondering if he still kept it the same as when I’d left.
Seconds ticked by into minutes. I’d see a flash of movement, and then it’d be gone again. My breathing began to alter as the shaking of my hands worked its way into the center of my body.
I turned in my seat, anticipating Milton and the band to walk out. It had to be any minute now.
My hands clenched the top of the car door through the open passenger window as I watched the front door.
A car passed by, and I briefly glanced away to see if it was a neighbor I might recognize, not that I had ever been close with any of them. Devan liked us to keep to ourselves. Or me to himself.
As I looked back at the house, Devan was already on the bottom step, charging toward his truck. Fear coiled around my spine as he swiveled his head to look at me, his hand covering his nose.
My eyes widened when I saw the blood soaking his chin, dripping down his neck onto his shirt.
He screamed something at me that I had no chance of making out, not from here and not with his face in that state.
For a moment, I thought Devan might shift his direction toward me, but then Milton hurried out after him with a reddened mark on his face, and everything stilled.
The cold numbness and adrenaline from my fight-or-flight response kicked in when I saw the two of them together. Beaten. Charged. Angry.
I was frozen.
Milton watched Devan climb into his truck, glowering at him from the front lawn with fists clenched at his sides. A shiver ran up the back of my neck when he craned his head to look at me and his face didn’t change. It didn’t soften into the face I knew and recognized.
Flight.
In that very moment, my body chose flight.
Climbing over into the driver’s seat, I turned the car over with the key waiting in the ignition, threw it into drive, and tore away from the curb.
I didn’t look back. I couldn’t. It felt like I was being chased by imaginary ghosts, and I was determined to outrun them.
My throat tightened, and I gripped the steering wheel, as if holding on tighter would keep the sob at bay. But it came anyway, and my view of the road blurred.
Wiping my face, I looked for a place to pull over. Remembering a park where I used to sit and draw in my sketch pad, I tried to retrace my steps there in a car instead of on foot. Turning down one street and then another, I found the entrance and parked in the nearest spot.
I cried for a moment, letting it out in the car, but even with the window down, I couldn’t get enough air.
There was a bench a few feet away from where I’d parked, under a tree with some shade. I went and sat down at it, letting the sobs turn into shallow hiccups. Letting the hiccups turn into long, even breaths.
It wasn’t long after that when Milton found me. He rushed out of Liam’s truck and hurried to my side, kneeling.
I wasn’t scared of him. Not really.
But I was scared to look up at him. Scared it would all come flooding back, right when I’d managed to calm myself.
He grabbed for my hand, but I pulled it away, which hurt me more than I’d expected it to. Regretting it, I immediately glanced up at him. His face was red on one side and his eyes bloodshot.
“Are you okay?” we both asked in unison.
“You first,” he insisted.
“No,” I answered honestly, shaking my head. “I’m not okay. None of that was okay.”
“I know. I’m sorry, baby. We didn’t expect any of that. But you really scared me when you ran off.”
“You scared me!” I exclaimed.
The look in his eyes broke my heart. “Me?”
“What happened in there?”
He pressed his lips together and sighed. “The four of us went in, ready to grab the things you’d told me about. Devan wasn’t too thrilled with us being there, obviously. I mean, you probably saw that interaction.”
I dropped my head, feeling overwhelmed again, but forced it aside and looked back at him.
“Liam and Danny played interference while I went upstairs to where you’d told me the bedroom was.
” Milton kept his eyes on mine as he continued, “There was a lot of yelling. It was hard to tell who was who when I was up there, searching, but the next thing I knew, Devan was standing in the bedroom with me.”
I let out a breath and filled my lungs again.
“I’d already found your mom’s perfume by then,” he said, pulling it out of his pants pocket.
The glass bottle was filled halfway, just as I remembered.
“Did you hit him first? Or did he hit you?” I pressed, asking the question I wanted the answer to most.
I watched him intently, envisioning the play-by-play, while also looking for any indications on his face that would tell me he was lying.
I hated that I was looking for deceit from him when he’d never given me a single reason to doubt him, but I couldn’t help it. Devan had ingrained that habit in me.
“As I said, there was a lot of shouting,” he began.
My pulse sped up as I waited for the rest of his response.
“Devan caught me off guard. I almost dodged him, but he still landed a few knuckles to my cheek.”
I winced, reaching for his face, tilting it to the side so I could see it better.
“Lexie came upstairs and got in his face after he swung at me, gave him a shove, and when he didn’t budge, she rose up on her toes and clocked him right in the nose.
The next thing you saw was him running out of the house.
” The slight lines across his forehead appeared as his face filled with concern.
“Danny and Liam were checking to make sure Lexie’s hand was okay, and I ran outside after him to make sure he didn’t come near you, not to hurt him more. ”
I looked at him warily.
“Look, I might’ve dreamed of a dozen different ways to commit a homicide, knowing how he treated you,” Milton explained. “He doesn’t deserve for you to give a shit about him, but you still do, and I would never hurt you like that. I promise you, I didn’t lay a hand on him.”
His blue eyes bored into me with warmth and sincerity, washing away any doubt in my mind. But I still hadn’t moved. I still hadn’t embraced him.
“Please,” he said, shaking his head. “Please don’t—” He stopped, unable to finish his words.
There was a glimmer then, raw emotion filling the brim of his eyelids before pooling over.
He looked … afraid.
Defeated.
Like he desperately wanted me to see him, but didn’t know how. It was a deeper, unexplainable feeling I’d lived through, but never seen looking back at me at the same magnitude.
Cradling his face with both my hands, I scooted off the bench and fell onto my knees beside him, wiping away his tears.
“I believe you, Milton. I believe you. Okay?” I signed softly, watching the notch in his throat bob.
He shut his eyes with relief.
I reached and squeezed his hand, catching his gaze once again. “Look at me. I’m not going anywhere. I was just scared and confused, and I shouldn’t have been.”
He looked me right in the eyes and said, “I don’t want you to ever be scared of me. Ever.”
“I’m not, baby. I never was and never will be.
I used to think getting away from everything, staying at your house, and being on my own was the safest place I could be.
But it’s you, Milton. You.” I choked out a cry.
“You’re my safe place. It doesn’t matter where I am; you’re where I want to be. Always.”
“I love you.” He signed those three words, and I held my breath, wanting time to stand still for a moment so I could take in every detail and commit it to memory.
Milton shook his head, smiling wider than I’d ever seen him smile. “You don’t have to say it back, but you have to know that I fucking love you so much.”
I stopped trying to fight it. I stopped trying to analyze everything I felt for him with caution. And I just said how I felt. How I really felt.
“I love you too.”