Chapter Ten
Harper was extremely relieved she hadn’t overstepped when she’d made the reservations for the two of them.
Something was wrong with Linc. He was on edge, and he had dark circles under his eyes.
Kash had confirmed that he didn’t sleep well, and it was becoming more and more obvious to Harper that it was a serious problem, not just a night here and there.
She wouldn’t be surprised to learn he had PTSD from his crash. She didn’t know much about what happened, just enough to know it had been extremely harrowing, and that he’d almost been captured. Post-traumatic stress would certainly explain his sleep troubles.
Whatever the reason, instead of resting, he’d been going completely overboard in the kitchen.
He might not be as good a cook as Zach, but the man could bake.
Every morning when she woke up, the house smelled like cookies, or some kind of bread, or a casserole he claimed to have made for his brother Knox .
. . who was completely hopeless in the kitchen.
And then there was the look in his eyes. A haunted look. Hopeless. Defeated. As if his demons were winning. And it tore at her heart, made Harper desperate to do something to help him.
She’d felt that way herself. Like she couldn’t last one more day. As if everyone looked through her instead of at her. Didn’t notice how hard she was fighting to keep Kash safe and happy.
Life was hard. Damn near impossible at times.
And for that reason, it was the fleeting moments of kindness she remembered most. So she wanted to give one of those moments to Linc.
She thought a few days away would do them both a world of good.
And in the process, would hopefully nudge their relationship to the next level.
Because she wanted that. Badly. Holding hands and kissing was great, awesome, but she wanted more. She wanted all of Linc. The good, bad, and ugly. She wanted to feel as close to him as a person could get. Naked. Raw. Completely open.
In order to do that, she felt as if she needed to open parts of herself that she’d kept locked away for years. That she hadn’t ever shown anyone. Share things she hadn’t wanted to tell anyone . . . until now.
The desire for Linc to know her was overwhelming. He might reject her. Might decide she had too much baggage . . . but she didn’t think so. If he hadn’t kicked her out of his house by now, she didn’t think he ever would. If for no other reason than he loved Kash, of that she was sure.
She didn’t think learning the truth about how her son came into the world would change that.
But would it change his feelings toward her?
Harper wanted to sleep with Linc. Wanted to feel him moving deep inside her.
Wanted to experience lust and sexual satisfaction again.
It had been forever since she’d had any kind of desire to be with a man.
But she wanted Linc. It was why she’d booked a room with only one bed.
To make sure he understood that she was choosing him.
Choosing to sleep with him. Giving consent.
Because that was very important to her . . . and he’d know why before too long.
Thankfully, he seemed quite pleased with her taking control of their physical relationship.
With making the first move. Harper felt more like the woman she used to be.
Someone who knew what she wanted and did whatever it took to get it.
She’d lost her way for a while, but she was getting back to that woman . . . thanks in part to Linc.
Before night fell, he’d know everything. All her deep dark secrets. He’d either turn out to be the man she needed, or he’d turn his back on her. They could still be just friends, if that was what he chose.
But if he slept with her, gave himself to her fully, and then decided he just wanted to be friends? Wanted to go back to just being housemates? It would destroy her.
Harper was taking a huge risk with this trip.
It wasn’t just to ease some kind of sexual desire on both their parts.
It would be either a new beginning, or the end of what could be.
She hoped and prayed it would be the former, but she’d accept whatever his decision was.
She’d take the first step, after that it was up to Linc.
The trip to Boothbay Harbor was fun. They decided to stop in Damariscotta, a cute little town along the way, not far from Rockville. It didn’t take long to walk through the downtown area and browse the shops that were open.
They ate lunch at a place called King Eider’s Pub, named after the duck that was iconic in the area.
Harper had the seafood pot pie, which was amazing, and Linc had the untraditional fish n’ chips.
She wasn’t sure why it was called untraditional, but he assured her it was delicious.
They also shared a serving of the firecracker green beans, which had her lips and tongue tingling even after they left.
They considered going to the Maritime Museum in Bath, but decided to leave it for another day. The trip down to the coast was peaceful in terms of traffic, and Linc told her it would be a much different trip in the summer when all the tourists were around.
She gave him directions to the small B&B and was thrilled with how cute the place was when he pulled into the driveway.
The owner met them at the door and showed them to their room, which was really the entire upper floor of the house.
It was huge, and decorated in typical coastal décor .
. . lobsters, of course, and anchors, and blue and white everywhere they looked.
The window faced the harbor and was across from the little touristy town.
All they had to do to get over there was cross the Boothbay Harbor Footbridge, and they’d be right in the middle of the shops and restaurants.
The bathroom was large, and Harper couldn’t help but notice the shower was more than big enough for the two of them to share. She had lusty thoughts about what they could do in that shower, and couldn’t wait to try it out . . . after she had her talk with Linc.
They decided to head over to the town and wander around, since the sun was still shining and they had some time to kill before dinner.
As soon as they exited the house, Linc took her hand in his, and they walked side by side across the bridge.
There weren’t many people out and about, but those they passed nodded politely or told them good afternoon.
It felt decadent to not be working. It had been years since she’d taken the time to do something just for herself, and Harper was enjoying the day immensely.
There were a lot of after-Christmas sales still going on, and she found herself splurging on both an oversize sweatshirt that said “Boothbay Harbor” and a sweater with a large lobster on the front.
It was impractical, as it was hand-wash only, but it was adorable and Harper couldn’t resist. It didn’t hurt that Linc urged her on, saying it was perfect for her and looked amazing with her auburn hair.
Even better, Linc didn’t insist on paying for her purchases.
He’d come to understand that she needed to be able to pay for the things she wanted on her own.
That she didn’t need or want him to step in and hand over his credit card.
It might be silly, but being capable of paying for her own things made Harper feel as if she was finally climbing out of the hole she’d been in for so long.
However, that didn’t keep Linc from going overboard when it came to Kash. He found so many knickknacks that he thought her son would like, and was so excited about every item, she didn’t have the heart to tell him no when he wanted to buy them.
By the time they’d walked off their lunch, Harper was more than ready to get off her feet. And amazingly, she was hungry again.
They were hoping to eat at McSeagull’s, a restaurant right on the waterfront, but it was closed for the season. So instead they headed down the street to Ports of Italy, a tiny little Italian restaurant that smelled delicious from the outside.
Linc had the ravioli di astice, which was ravioli filled with lobster and ricotta in a light sauce, so good he was literally moaning with every bite. He also decided he was going to urge Zach to put the dish on his menu, or at least his version of it, so he could have it whenever he wanted.
Harper finally decided on the tagliatelle alla bolognese. Tender homemade pasta with meat-and-tomato ragù. They both had wine with their meal, and they shared a chocolate torte for dessert. By the time they left, Harper was stuffed to the gills and glad they had to walk back to the B&B.
The closer they got to the house, though, the more nervous she became.
About the talk she wanted to have with Linc.
She had no idea how he would take what she needed to tell him.
If she was smart, she’d put it off. Enjoy the night with him.
Experience how combustible their chemistry would be when they were finally able to explore it fully.
Without the pressure of work, time, or the fear that Kash might walk in on them.
“Breathe, Harper,” Linc said gently, as if he could feel her tension. “Nothing’s going to happen that you don’t want to happen.”
“I want everything,” Harper blurted. “I mean, I want to be with you. That’s why I got one room and one bed. But I want to talk first.”
He looked over at her. “Talk?”
“Yeah. There are things I want you to know. About me. Kash. About my time in New York.”
“All right. But for the record, there’s nothing you can tell me that will change my mind about tonight, or about wanting to be with you.”
God, he was a good man. But it was easy to say those words, especially when he had no idea what she wanted to talk to him about.