CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
LIAM
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Jayden sits on the sofa opposite me, his legs wide, arms by his side. I sip my coffee, wishing I’d added a cap of whiskey, and assume I look far more relaxed leaning back in the cushions of the armchair than I actually am.
For days I’ve known this conversation was going to happen, but I didn’t think it would take place after Jay had walked into my room and found me in bed with his sister.
Or that I’d have to get physical to protect Jessie after she was raped.
A fucking second time!
I know it’s not my fault, but I feel like it is.
It happened while she was in my care.
She’s not a fucking kid, as she keeps telling us.
And yet, it’s for that exact reason that I feel responsible. Jessie is the woman I love. The one I’ve silently sworn to protect as long as I live.
Christ, I must have been eight when I had the thought. Just a kid. And yet, it’s as strong within me now as it was back then.
She belongs to me.
More so even than her brother sitting opposite me. I can’t explain it. It’s a feeling. Like we are both two sides of an oyster shell, meant to be together.
Now here I am, twenty-eight and fighting to keep both my best friend and the woman I love in my life.
It will be a cold day in hell when I let them both walk away from me.
They should know me better than this. I’m tenacious, determined and always get what I want.
Now that I am admitting what I want, I am going after it.
I fucking love you.
I love you, too.
At ten, I made a vow to Jayden. I’d lost my father, was vulnerable, and didn’t really understand what I was promising. Today we are grown men. It’s time to have a tough discussion.
However, I need to take a step back. Jayden doesn’t know how I’ve always felt about his sister. How it’s unfolded day by day, month by month, year by year over a lifetime.
Or he might.
I shot out of my room when I found her gone, after my shower, and the two of us ran around the house in fucking towels calling her name.
When it was clear Jessie was gone, I barked out. “Get dressed. She’s taken off. We need to talk and sort this out. She won’t come back until we do.”
“For fuck's sake. Couldn’t you keep your dick out of my sister for one goddamn week?”
That’s what he thinks this is.
Me fucking his sister because she was staying in our house. As if I’m that guy who fucks any woman walking. Which is bullshit, as he knows that’s not at all who I am.
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that and remember the part about Jessie being raped.”
“I wasn’t implying—” He tightened his towel around his waist.
“No. But she still was, and she’s out there freaking out. Get fucking dressed.” I slammed my door.
Now here we are, staring at one another like enemies after getting off the phone with her.
“Where is she?” Jayden asks.
“I don’t know.”
Yet.
“You’re having her phone traced, right?” Jayden frowns.
“No.”
I watch the creases around his eyes deepen and hand tighten on the arm of the sofa.
“The fuck, Liam?”
“Calm down. She’s heading to the station at some point. Ryder is sitting outside waiting for her while listening to an audiobook, apparently.”
Probably didn’t need to know that, but he messaged me the details, anyway.
“He’s a good man.” Jayden leans on his knees, glancing at the carpet. “Fuck what a mess.”
I put my coffee on the side table and let out a sigh.
“Look, man—”
“I can’t stay living here anymore.” Jayden glances up and looks me in the eye.
Even though I knew this was coming, a coldness seeps into my bones as our friendship crumbles. It doesn’t need to, and that’s the stupid thing.
“I know.”
“Fuck, Liam. I asked you to be the guy who kept his hands off her. You. Me. Together we were the two men she could trust.”
That triggers me.
“Jessie does trust me. That’s why she came to LA. Come on Jay, don’t tell me you haven’t seen how we feel about each other all these years.”
He shakes his head.
“Yeah, I saw her crushing on her. I saw you looking at her with the same lust all those other fucking guys do. But you were loyal to me.”
“It’s not an exclusive thing.”
“It is to me!” He jumps up and starts pacing. “Because look what happened. Someone fucking raped her!”
My eyes flash open wider.
“That someone wasn’t me. You’re treating me like I’m the fucking animal that tied her up and shoved my dick in her mouth.”
Shit.
I shouldn’t have said that.
Jayden whirls around, horror on his face. I stand up, holding my hands out. “I’m sorry, you didn’t need to know that.”
He runs a hand through his hair. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!!!”
I get it.
I so fucking get what he’s feeling right now.
Fury, hopelessness, violence.
“How? How did this fucking happen?” he yells, kicking the sofa, and I can tell it hurts his foot.
Something happened to Jayden while he was on a tour just before we left the Air Force. It’s not something he’s talked about, but when he returned, he was different.
I know it’s likely classified, but my gut says he needs support himself and is likely struggling in his own life. Hiding it like guys do.
It’s probably why he wasn’t able to deal with finding out what happened with Jess. At least, that’s my guess. If I didn’t know him and know he would do anything for his little sister, I’d be having a whole other conversation with him.
I blow out a breath and run my hand over my face.
“Same story as a lot of girls in the movie business, I guess. She hasn’t told me much. I brought her home last night and held her so she could sleep.”
Jayden lowers his ass onto the arm of the sofa and stares at the floor. He stays that way for a long while, processing.
“You found her.”
I nod.
“How did you know where she was?” Jay asks.
“We did what we do. Team got together, and we fucking found her.” I cross my arms. “I knew when she wasn’t home that something was wrong.”
He stares at me for a long minute.
“Do you love her?”
I swallow.
I could have answered that question in a heartbeat, and I’m not going to lie, but the moment I do, every fucking thing changes.
“More than anything on earth.”
He glances away, hurt and betrayal smacking him around the face. Pain that I have caused.
“Jessie loves me, Jay. This isn’t a crush. It might have been when we were younger, but it's much deeper than that.”
“I know.” He nods, then shakes his head. “I fucking know. I knew when she was five years old. The way the two of you were together.”
That shocks me.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because you were my friend! Judge that however you fucking want, but you were my friend. I love Jessie, God I’d kill for her, but I always felt I was on the edge of losing you.”
I wipe my face again.
“Jay...”
“Fuck, that makes me sound like a goddamn idiot.”
It doesn’t. The two of us grew up together like brothers. Deeper than just a friendship. If I thought I could lose him when we were younger, it would have shocked me to my core.
In fact, it was the reason I stayed so loyal and ignored my feelings for Jessie.
“I get it. And no, it doesn’t. Ask me how sick I feel right now, thinking our friendship is over.”
Our eyes meet and emotion boils up.
“Fuck that,” he spits out.
I’m confused for a moment, blinking, hoping I don’t goddamn cry or some other unmasculine thing.
“What?”
“I said fuck that.” Jayden shakes his head, widens his legs, and pushes a fist into his thigh. “We are brothers, not friends. We’ll work this out.”
Jesus. I nearly blow out another breath and cry like a baby.
“Yeah.”
It’s all I’m capable of saying. My throat is tight and thick.
“Clearly, you need to marry her.” He nods.
Wait, what now?
“Ah...”
“Well, you slept with her.”
I hold up a hand. “No, I...er, well, no, I haven’t. Yes, okay, this is fucking awkward. We haven’t fully—”
“Stop talking.”
“Okay, yeah.”
Jesus, thank Christ.
I sit down. Then look up again. “I am going to marry her. If she agrees.”
“Oh, I think we all know that girl already has her wedding planner mapped out with your face on it.”
I can’t help it; a big smile stretches across my face.
“Jesus, you really do love her.” Jayden shakes his head.
I keep smiling and then nod, feeling like a million-ton weight has been lifted from my shoulders. One that has been there all my life.
Then reality slaps me across the face.
“She’s not in a good place, Jay. We need to go to her together, and you have some apologizing to do.”
“Yeah. Seeing your friend in bed with your sister and then finding out she was sexually abused was a lot to process all at once.”
“Well, you need to do that later. Right now, she needs us.”
He stands.
“Then let’s go.”
“You sure you are okay with this? Just like that?”
“No, I’m not fucking okay. But I will work it out. Those were fears I had as a kid. I guess it's time to get over them. After all, you are marrying into the family, so I can’t get rid of you even if I wanted to.”
I smirk as I stand, and we meet in the middle of the room and do that shoulder-hug-guy thing. It’s rich with emotion, so we grunt and look away.
Jayden clears his throat. “I’m going to go change my tampon or do whatever chicks do when they get emotional like this.”
I chuckle as he walks out.
Holy hell.
What a fucking day.
Now we have to find Jessie, and I’m going to do my darndest to get her to move in with me.
This is the most important operation of my life.