Chapter 12
Instead of an elbow in my ribs or a leg across my neck, I wake to find that my bed is empty.
When I peek through her door, the morning sunlight glows over Winnie's peaceful sleeping face.
Her snores are ever so gentle, and her stuffed animal is tucked up under her chin.
I carefully close her door and start the coffee, already missing her.
Then it hits me. For the first time I am on my own.
I am not living in a dorm with hundreds of other girls, I'm not living in a house with my husband, I'm not living with my parents or my sister. I am in my own place. I'm not sure what makes me happier: the fact that I am on my own, or the fact that I simply have the choice to be alone.
I sip my coffee and take it with me into the shower. The morning is slow and sleepy. When Winnie finally wakes up, we sit on the couch in our pajamas, watch cartoons and talk about summer camp starting in just a few days. She cuddles under my arm and there is no place I would rather be.
At some point Winnie gets up, gets a juice box and brings it for me to open and then cuddles back under my arm.
“You know what we need to do?” I kiss her head. “We need to go to the grocery store. Somehow all the food you bought with Uncle Rhett isn’t real food.”
Winnie peeks up at me smiling. “Yes it is.”
“PopTarts, Cheetos and juice boxes are not the only thing we can live on. We need like, chicken, at least. So go get dressed.”
I throw on a sundress that Ethan hated and push my hair back with my sunglasses. Winnie comes out wearing a purple skirt, a Chicago Cubs T-shirt, a green bow in her hair and her plastic purse on her shoulder.
When I turn the corner out of the cereal aisle, and I'm met with warm brown eyes and blonde hair.
“Hannah and Winnie!” Mayben smiles. “How are you? How’s the new place?”
“Good!” Winnie answers. “There’s a bacon knee.”
“Balcony.”
Mayben laughs. “Tanner told me that you’re going to be here all summer, is that right?”
Winnie nods. “Yup. And I'm going to YMCA.”
A look flashes on Mayben’s face and I'm not quite sure what it is. Confusion? Concern? It’s gone so quickly I think I must have mistaken it.
“You’re going to love it,” Mayben tells her. “My brother and I grew up going there. I liked the swimming the best and Tanner liked helping in the gardens out back. He always came home dirty.”
“He wasn’t dirty yesterday.” Winnie laces her fingers through the metal cart.
“Yesterday?”
“Yeah, when he helped us move in. He carried my bags and was on the bacon knee with Mommy.”
“Balcony.” I correct again, trying to will my cheeks to not turn pink.
“Huh.” The corner of Mayben’s mouth quirks. “I was wondering why he was so late to the party.”
“Late?”
“He showed up like an hour and half late. He said he was working late, but I knew he was in too good of a mood to have just come from work.” She winks at Winnie. “I should go. It was nice seeing you guys.”
It’s only as we say goodbye that I see a pregnancy test under the frozen pizza box in Mayben’s basket.
When we get back to the apartment, I give Winnie a few lighter bags to carry up and she lets out a disgruntled sigh.
“What?”
“Can’t Tan help carry them up?” She tips her head toward the auto shop. “It’s so hot.”
I glance up and see Tanner sitting on the back curb with a few other guys in coveralls, all smiling.
“He’s busy at work,” I tell her and nudge her forward.
“Help Tan!” she calls out like a proper damsel in distress.
Though I try to shush her, Tanner is up and motioning for the guys to follow in a heartbeat.
“Everything alright?” he asks as he approaches.
“Everything is perfectly fine,” I say tightly and look down at Winnie. “Somebody just doesn’t want to carry groceries up.”
“Well Fred, it’s your lucky day. We are in-between cars right now. Right guys?”
They nod their heads with guilty grins then grab the bags from our hands and the trunk. Tanner lets Winnie lead the way as she skips up ahead with the key.
The last guy that hangs back has the name patch Taylor. He has dark hair and an arm covered in tattoos. “You must be Hannah.”
“I am,” I say and shut the back hatch. “You must be Taylor. Happy birthday, by the way.”
He laughs. “Thank you. I was wondering when I was going to meet this girl Tanner is always talking about and almost missing my birthday for.”
My cheeks warm. “The girl he’s been talking about?”
“Honestly, we’ve been eating lunch out back just to see if you’re real or not. He’s only been talking about you since like a year and a half ago. We weren’t sure if you really existed or not. Hell, we didn’t believe your sister existed either. We thought these two were making y’all up.”
“Let’s get a move on,” Tanner calls from up the steps. “We got an oil change coming up!”
When I join them in the kitchen, Tanner gestures to the guys around my kitchen. “Hannah, these are some of the guys from the shop. This is Cade, Bobby, and you just met Taylor. Guys this is Hannah Dorada and her daughter Winnie.”
Winnie smiles, suddenly shy as the guys each shake her hand.
“What do you say to these nice men who carried the groceries for us?”
“Thank you,” she squeaks.
“It’s our pleasure.” Taylor smiles. “Anytime you need help just give us a call.”
He nods and they head back downstairs. This time, Tanner lingers behind while Winnie steals an apple and dashes off to her room.
“You were late to his birthday yesterday,” I accuse and he only smiles.
“I was. But it was worth it.”
“For warm beer with a view of a parking lot?”
He steps closer. “I regret leaving you at all, if I’m being perfectly honest.”
I don’t know if it’s because he’s looking at my lips, or because I can smell the grease and his cologne mixing, but I want to kiss him. I want to throw caution to the wind and let anything, but my brain, make decisions for once.
“You can’t look at me like that and expect me to follow your rule,” his voice rasps in a whisper.
“What rule?”
“The one where we have to be just friends.”
“I'm not the one who’s guilty here of making that difficult,” I remind him. “You’re the one showing up with arms and hands like yours and helping me carry groceries to show them off.”
He looks down at his hands which are massive and greased stained with calloused palms.
“Actually.” He crosses his arms, flexing his biceps in the process. “I helped Winnie carry in groceries. You just happened to be there.”
“Oh, is that so?” I step closer, not seeming to know better.
“Oh, it is. And may I point out that this little dress breaks a lot more rules than greasy coveralls and a T-shirt.” I glance down and from this angle, maybe he’s right. He leans in, just inches in front of my face. “But if you won’t play fair, then neither will I.”
He tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear and lets his finger trace down my neck.
Then with a smirk, he’s gone, leaving my heart pounding and my eyes fluttering.
I should call out to him. Tell him we can’t tiptoe this line, but God if there’s ever been a challenge or something to prove, I’ve never been one to walk away.