Chapter 16
“So. How was Tanner last night?” Lauren is avoiding my gaze by keeping her eyes down on the menu in front of her.
“What are you talking about?”
“He was supposed to come over for beers with Rhett and Jackie last night, but he called saying he got tied up and couldn’t make it.”
“I don’t know what you’re—”
“And,” she cuts me off. “I called you to hang out with me and Mayben since the boys were occupied but you didn’t answer.”
“I was just—”
“So, there was really only one conclusion to draw.”
I pull my lips in and bite down. “It’s Winnie’s fault,” I say quickly, which brings a sputtering laughter from my sister. “What?” I ask defensively.
“You just threw your five-year-old daughter under the bus because you got caught hanging out with a guy.”
“Well,” I pick up my menu and pretend to read it, “I had brought home pizza for just her and me, and while I was inside, she was on the balcony inviting him up to dinner. I didn’t have a choice.”
She nods. “I guess that also explains why we are all invited to his house for dinner.”
I narrow my eyebrows. “What?”
“Have you checked your phone?”
I pull it out now and see a group chat started by Tanner inviting us all over. Tonight.
“Oh.” I shove my phone back in my purse.
“You guys aren’t just hooking up, are you? Because I don’t think his heart could take it. But I also imagine it would be good for both of you finally get naked and—”
“Oh my God Lauren.” I choke on my water and instantly grab for the napkin to wipe my mouth. “Are you insane?”
“I bet Tanner doesn’t hook up. I'm sure he makes sweet, sweet lo—”
“Hi ladies, are you ready to place your order?” I glance up and find a waitress that’s not Mayben. Thank God.
“What’s the strongest thing you serve?” I ask her, narrowing my eyes back on my sister.
“Uh,” she looks over her shoulder. “We have black coffee?”
“That’s fine,” I tell her. “And a piece of pie.”
“Iced tea and chicken tenders.” Lauren tells her and does a terrible job hiding her amusement.
“Listen,” she says once the waitress leaves. “Tanner isn’t casual. And whatever you two are, doesn’t seem casual either.”
She’s right, even if I don’t want her to be. I try to focus on my menu, but the letters are all scrambled and no matter how many times I read it, the line between friends and more is starting to look just as fuzzy.
Once I get out of the main part of town, it’s nothing but lush, green trees reaching their mossy branches into a canopy overhead.
The afternoon sunlight is dripping with humidity and warmth and the breeze in through the windows only accentuates the smell of sun laden grass and fresh air.
We only pass a few other cars the entire way to Tanner’s. It’s just us and the bumpy road.
“Remember,” I call back to Winnie. “We need to be on our best behavior, because we are—”
“Girls?”
“No, I mean we are, but guests. We are Tanner’s guests, and we want to be respectful.”
“Okay. And manners, right?”
“Yes. And manners.”
The first building we pass in a while is Morton's Bar, where Rhett’s sister, Gwen, works. It hardly constitutes as a building, but even this early in the evening, the parking lot is packed, and the neon sign glows like it’s the midwestern pearly gates.
Just past a small blue ranch with big flower baskets hanging over the porch, my phone points me up an almost hidden gravel road.
Each side of the narrow path is covered with thick brush and trees.
The sound of crackling gravel and sticks snapping under my wheels follows me as I wind my way up the hill.
After a final curve, the property comes into view, and I slow my car to a stop.
Up to the right is a small white house with a deck that stretches from corner to corner and homes two rocking chairs.
Wind chimes hang from the ceiling alongside some young bright green ferns that are still too small to really provide any shade.
The house faces the yard and I’m imagining an evening spent in a rocking chair looking out at this property.
I’m sure the bugs are loud up here and the sky is clearer.
It feels like the sun has settled in the trees, keeping an extra eye on this little hilltop.
Just beyond a bunch of wild-flowers, I see a chicken coop and free roaming chickens.
Broken fences, empty water troughs, animal stalls, and flowers.
Flowers everywhere. The sun casts golden beams across the grass, flowering bushes and the old, rusted farming equipment.
“Mommy what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I shake my head. “It’s just so pretty.”
Winnie slips out of the car and dashes up to the front door.
When Tanner and I talk on the phone at night, I'm not exactly sure what I was imagining, but I don’t know if a place this magical could have been dreamt up.
It’s open and bright and warm all the same.
The years have worn it down, but they have been kind in doing so.
“Hey, you.”
I look up and find Tanner on the front deck, holding the screen door open. He has a towel over his shoulder, and though Winnie runs ahead and ducks under his arm, my feet remain stuck to the ground.
“This is…” I try to speak but my voice trails off as I look back at the land.
“A work in progress,” he finishes with a low laugh.
“Unbelievable.” I get my feet to move, and cross the driveway over to him. “It’s beautiful, Tanner.”
“Dollie wanted to offload it and just keep her little blue ranch down the road. I don’t think anyone else saw the potential.”
When my eyes find his again, I catch them raking up and down my body.
“That dress.” He shakes his head.
“No truce, no peace,” I tell him and begin to walk past him.
He reaches out for me, gently grabbing me by my elbow as I step by him. He pauses then nods his head. “Hm.”
“What?”
“You smell good.”
I force my heels into the deck, so I don’t lift myself up to meet his lips.
“Come in.” He steps back, making the tiniest bit of space for me.
Wordlessly, I slip past him into a narrow hallway with white plank-paneled walls and old, natural coarse-grained hardwood floors. Each step creaks as I move through the hallway and into the kitchen that looks half as ancient as it does restored. Everything is in the process of being loved.
The living room to the right has an old leather couch that has seen better days, with a beige serape blanket flung over the back. There’s no T.V., but there is a half-completed puzzle on the coffee table that Winnie is inspecting with Lauren. The home smells of rain, cedar, dinner, and Tanner.
“You okay?” He comes up behind me and his words are soft, just for me to hear.
I nod. Even the table and chairs are a mismatched mess of charm.
“I love your house,” I tell him.
“Thank you. It’s been a lot of work.” He smiles and hands me a glass of iced tea.
I turn back to the kitchen, and I see a few pots simmering on the old gas range. An outdated radio hums with crackling country music from the windowsill, and there is no place in the world— no beach, nor coast— that could feel more like summer than right here at the top of this hill.
“How can I help?” I ask pulling myself from my daze and this feeling I am struggling to place.
“A beer would be the most helpful thing in the world if I'm being honest.”
I open a beer with the opener mounted on his wall and hand it to him.
“What are you making?” I ask leaning against the counter next to him.
“Spaghetti and meatballs. I know Winnie is allergic to fish, and she likes pizza, so I thought this would be safe.”
I pause and watch his side profile as he busies himself. “How do you know she’s allergic to fish?”
“You’ve mentioned it before on the phone,” he says and briefly looks over at me. There’s a shyness to him tonight. Nothing like the man who pulled me into him in the evening glow of my bedroom, whispering my name into my neck.
His eyes catch me, and I feel them, just for a second, slip down my body again before he clears his throat.
“What?” I ask, our most useless question that we keep returning to.
“You’re beautiful.” He shakes his head like he’s trying to straighten out his thoughts.
I sip my tea, and he forces his gaze back to the stove.
“Hey Han.” Rhett comes in and drops a kiss on the top of my head.
“Make yourself useful Rhett,” Tanner chides and nods toward the stack of plates. “Set the table.”
“No way,” I say. “I offered to help and I’m literally just standing here.”
“And you’re doing a great job of that.” He looks over at me, a playful warning in his eye. “I like to keep good things the way they are.”
I shoo Rhett away and grab the plates. Once placed at the four spots, plus the spot with a stool for Winnie, I dig around for silverware in the drawers.
I open a drawer with kitchen towels, one with tongs and random utensils, and another, obviously the junk drawer.
It’s a mess of receipts, scissors, a screwdriver, loose change and a little stack of old photos.
“Dinner’s ready,” Tanner announces as he uses the rag to carry the pot to the center of the table. I open the last drawer and find the silverware.
Once we are all sitting, there is no ignoring the way Lauren is watching me.
It’s like she is trying to read into my every movement.
The way I am scooted closer to Tanner under the guise of making space for Winnie, the way our elbows brush and the bumping of our hands as we settle in.
I’m sure she somehow knows our knees are touching under the table too.
“Let’s say grace.” Tanner puts his hand out to me and Winnie. Lauren and Rhett don’t skip a beat before joining hands around the circle.
“Heavenly Father, thank you for our meal, our friends, and our new friends. Amen.”
“Amen,” Winnie pipes in, her voice louder than our quiet ones.
“My mom would sure be impressed with your amen, Fred,” Tanner says.