Chapter 2
Mia
Sneaking out the back door, I hold my breath and hope for the best. I do the same thing every night. If my older brother ever finds out that I meet his best friend in our backyard, he will kill both of us.
I’ve been hanging out with Ethan Waters behind my brother’s back for months. We wait until midnight when our families are sleeping. Then we drink soda and eat junk food while we rehash our days.
It’s the only thing I look forward to anymore. Knowing that Ethan is waiting for me, my heart races so fast my head spins. Every nerve ending in my body comes alive in anticipation of seeing him again. We both know what we’re doing is wrong.
But do we care?
Not really.
And it’s not like we ever crossed the line, despite my nagging desire to kiss Ethan.
If Will ever discovers our secret friendship, he will lose his shit.
My brother has a strict rule about his friends looking at me, let alone hanging out with me.
Ever since Ethan moved from Boston to Lower Merion last year, we’ve danced around the idea of us being together.
A few times, I thought he might kiss me.
As Ethan’s graduation approaches, I’m nervous about our relationship. We’ve become friends, and some days, I need him a lot more than he needs me. I live for the nights when we have this time to ourselves. With my brother always around, it’s hard to get closer to Ethan.
I shut the door behind me, doing my best not to make a sound.
My parents turned off their lights twenty minutes ago, forcing me to wait for Will.
But he never sleeps. Once I hear his PlayStation turn on and the sound of bombs penetrating the wall we share, I creep down the back stairwell.
Almost every night, I repeat the same routine.
A small part of me likes sneaking around with Ethan because of the risk involved. It’s exciting. Being with Ethan is unlike any other experience I’ve had with a boy. Well, he’s not a boy. Ethan is a man now.
Ethan never treats me like Will’s little sister. He knows better than anyone my brother is way too protective of me. The first time Will caught Ethan staring at my lips, he went ballistic. Ethan never looked at me again—at least not in front of Will.
When I reach the shed, Ethan’s on his usual swing, staring down at his feet. My heart aches at the sight of him. He looks so depressed. I instinctively crouch in front of him and wait for him to raise his head. Our eyes meet, and an electric current rushes down my spine.
“Hey,” he says under his breath. His eyes are red-rimmed and glassy.
“Hey, yourself.” I grab his knees to stabilize myself, and Ethan clasps my wrists with his calloused hands. A brush of heat dances along my skin, making me dizzy from the simple connection between us.
I take in his manly scent, a hint of laundry detergent mixed with cloves, and stare into his green eyes.
Shaggy brown hair falls over his forehead, giving him an unkempt look I appreciate.
He’s the hottest guy in the neighborhood.
Hell, Ethan Waters is the hottest man in the city. And he’s here with me, of all people.
“Why do you look so bummed?”
He shrugs. “My dad. You know, the usual.” Ethan touches the scar above his left eyebrow and winces as if what gave him that scar still haunts him.
I sit on the swing next to him. “I’m here if you want to talk about anything.”
He turns his head so our eyes meet, and a hint of a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “I’d rather hear about your day. Tell me something good.”
Ethan starts all of our conversations the same way. No matter how bad of a night he’s having, he always wants to know more about me. I love that he puts me first. I love everything about Ethan.
But he’s off-limits.
My brother would never understand our relationship. On occasion, my mom comments about the way I look at Ethan. She’s even more concerned about how he looks at me as if I’m the only person in the room.
The first time we hung out was an accident. I was crying on the swing set when Ethan came rushing outside. He’d had another fight with his dad, who was piss drunk and yelling obscenities out the door. Ethan heard me sniffling back tears and wanted to know who made me cry.
He was so sweet and nothing like the rough, tough hockey player when he pulled me into his arms and let me cry against his chest. I confessed the trouble I was having with the girls at school. They never bothered me again after that night.
When I don’t respond, he repeats, “Tell me something good.”
“Other than being here with you?”
I blush ten shades of red from my cheeks to my chest.
What’s wrong with me?
I’m never this forward. The words fell from my lips before I could stop myself.
Ethan gives me one of his boyish grins that causes my heart to skip. “Just so you know, Mia, I like talking to you, too. You’re the only person who gets me.”
I grab hold of the metal ropes, the nerves bubbling up in my chest. “What about my brother? Don’t you talk to him?”
“I don’t know. Will says stupid shit that doesn’t help the situation anytime I try to talk to him about my parents. And you know how he acts when it comes to hockey.”
“Like he’s too good for everyone.” I make it sound like a joke, though I mean it.
The right corner of his mouth curls up as he winks at me. “Yep. He’s such a cocky bastard.”
“You’re better than him, E. But don’t tell him I said so.”
What had started with writing M + E in my notebook soon became his nickname. Ethan never corrects me when I call him E. Sometimes, he calls me his little lamb because he compares himself to a wolf, though I don’t find him the least scary. I love having this special connection with him.
He cocks an eyebrow at me. “You think so?”
I bob my head. “I know so, and I’m not just saying that because I like you, and my brother gives me a hard time. I’ve watched all of your games over the past year and some of your practices. You and my brother will go pro together. I don’t doubt it.”
Ethan sighs. “I’ll miss you, Mia.” He grabs my hand and holds it tight. “I’m leaving town after graduation.”
My heart plummets into my chest when I do the math. We only have four more days together. I can’t breathe, the sickness rising from the back of my throat, choking me.
He can’t do this to me.
No.
Please.
Don’t leave me.
I want to say all this to Ethan, but the words never come out.
Ethan squeezes my hand once more and smiles. “Tell me about your day. I want to hear all about it. Give me the worst and best moments.”
I suck in a deep breath, holding it far too long before I let it out. The worst moment happened a second ago, but I can’t tell him the truth.
We have four days together.
I won’t ruin them.
“Well, I already told you one of the best.”
He chuckles. “If hanging out with me is even in your top five, then I can’t imagine the worst one.”
I smile through the fear and pain of losing Ethan and hope that our last night together is one I’ll remember forever.