Chapter 4
As it turned out, I needn’t have worried about seeing Elil because I didn’t. I didn’t see him the next day either, or the one after that. All the men were ensconced in something or other and I was left to visit with the only women in attendance—all of them either older than me or a lot younger. So much for making a friend.
The week churned on without a glimpse of Prince Elil. I saw Parisar in passing but even he didn’t bother to look my way or try to engage me in conversation. He was back to ignoring me. Prince Char waved to me once from across the garden but he too was pulled away before he could approach me, and as for Prince Granger, I only managed to catch sight of his golden head from my tower window before he was gone too.
If not for the copious amounts of tea in the drawing room while the other women chatted with my mother about the garden and the latest fashions and whatever else they talked about—I tuned most of it out—my week would have been no different than a normal week.
I retreated to my tower room with my books, or escaped to the archery field to shoot things—most often Parisar’s face was what I imagined when aiming at the target. I only joined everyone else when my mother threatened to lock the tower door—and my bow within it.
There were the dinner parties, of course, but again, none of the princes spoke to me or even acknowledged me. I was seated too far from them to insert myself into their conversations and short of purposely upsetting my mother’s strategic seating assignments, I was stuck at the end of the table with the younger guests. Again.
When the weekend finally came, I was desperate to see Elil and I didn’t even care that the last time he’d seen me I was covered in the contents of Parisar’s glass. The more I thought about that incident the more I knew Parisar had done it on purpose. And from the amount of liquid that had sloshed all over me, he had to have had more than one glass in his hand. What I couldn’t work out was why. Why had he purposely disrupted our conversation? Was he afraid that if I married Elil, he wouldn’t get his hands on the crown?
I blushed at the thought of marriage. We’d barely even spoken and yet I was already daydreaming about what it would be like to marry him. Marrying Prince Elil would mean giving up my right to the throne of Eudaimonia but…I could still be its queen. Elil might take my father’s crown and authority, but I would still be able to rule beside him. That wouldn’t be so bad, would it? We could rule together. Blend the two monarchies into a new one where the king and queen shared the authority. What was so bad about that?
No wonder Parisar was jealous. It wasn’t me he wanted, but my crown, or at least a crown by extension. Hadn’t that been what he and his father had been plotting all along? Isn’t that why Lord Adryon was always so close to the king?
If I was ever going to get to know Elil better, I needed to make sure Parisar couldn’t interrupt us. The only place Parisar wouldn’t find us was…the tower.
I blushed again as I looked around my favourite place in the castle. I had never brought anyone else up here. I doubted Parisar even knew it existed. If I brought Elil here…what would he think? I looked around the room again with a more critical eye. Everything in the room was there because I’d chosen it. The bookcases stuffed with books my maids had smuggled into the palace for me, the ones my mother would despair of me reading. The piles of brightly coloured pillows that I had sewn myself—the only time I’d enjoyed sewing, even if they were done badly. My easel and paints and my terrible attempts at painting the landscape from my view through the windows. The paintings weren’t very good, but I’d had fun while doing them and when I looked at them that’s what I remembered, the way I’d felt when I painted them. The collections of rocks and seed pods and pinecones and feathers I had collected while traipsing through the woods. The flowers I had picked and carefully dried and the pots of herbs I was trying to grow on the window sills. Everything in the room was tied to me emotionally. The room was a physical representation of who I was and bringing someone here would mean opening myself up to their scrutiny. What would Elil see when he came here?
My skin prickled and my nerves sizzled at the thought. Excitement and anxiety twisted within me at the thought of showing someone else my inner most thoughts. I wanted to do it. I wanted to bring Elil here and I wanted him to see me in all my messy glory and tell me he loved it…he loved me.
I groaned and buried my head in the pillow of the window seat. Cringe much? How could I possibly be thinking about love? I was not this person. I didn’t swoon over men, unlike the women in the books I read. Swooning was a made-up thing, wasn’t it? Used to build tension and excitement in a novel, but it didn’t really happen. Except…hadn’t I very nearly done that when I first met him?
It was a crush. I had a crush, just like the palace maids. I’d heard them talk about their crushes and even heard them wax lyrical over the paintings of the princes when they’d been delivered to the castle. It wasn’t love, it was a crush, but it was more powerful than anything I’d ever felt before.
It was picnic day. Finally, I would get the chance to speak to Prince Elil again, and maybe spend some time alone with him.
I asked Greta to help me pick out a dress. It was pink, and not something I normally wore. I preferred darker colours and more practical cuts, but I liked what I saw in the mirror and if the approval in my mother’s eyes was anything to go by, she liked it too. I even had matching ribbons woven into my dark hair, which made me feel self-conscious, especially when Parisar saw me and widened his eyes as he tried to stop himself from laughing. I ignored him, instead looking for Elil and finding exactly what I needed in his eyes. He liked what he saw too.
‘Princess,’ he said, coming straight to me and bowing over my hand. ‘It is a pleasure to see you again.’
My cheeks warmed and I smiled shyly at him. ‘It is good to see you again, too.’
Elil rose to his full height and beamed a smile at me, the breath stalling in my chest under the force of it. He was dressed impeccably, but then I doubted Elil would ever be anything but impeccable. He even wore his circlet, the coloured stones glowing in the sunlight.
‘I had hoped to spend some time with you during the week,’ Elil said, tucking my hand into his elbow and leading us into the garden. ‘But the king had us occupied every day.’
‘I noticed your absence,’ I murmured.
He turned his head to look at me, something soft in his eyes. ‘You did?’
Had he worried I wouldn’t? Had he been concerned that I would forget about the connection we made?
I nodded and a rosy blush appeared high on his cheeks before he looked away.
We continued into the rose garden and my pulse slowly regained its steady rhythm as I got used to the feel of his arm under my hand and the brush of his shoulder against mine. He shortened his steps so our gait matched and I took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of roses and something more woodsy. Him.
‘How has your week been?’ Elil asked. ‘Have you kept busy?’
‘A little,’ I replied. ‘I’ve drunk far too much tea and spent an interminable amount of time in the drawing room. I’m glad for a chance to stretch my legs.’
‘I thank you for allowing me to accompany you,’ he replied.
‘Do you play croquet?’ I asked, looking up at him.
‘I do. And you?’
‘Badly,’ I replied with a grin. ‘But I enjoy the challenge.’
‘Shall we team up?’ he asked. ‘I could teach you…?’
‘Yes,’ I replied without thinking. I may have overstated how bad I was at croquet, but Elil didn’t need to know that. I knew it was a terrible ploy, but I didn’t feel the least bit remorseful. I had been denied time with him all week, who could blame me for taking the chance to make up for it?
We arrived at the croquet pitch as the other players were deciding on teams. Parisar saw me with my hand still tucked under Elil’s elbow and his eyes narrowed.
‘Prince Elil and Princess Snow will be on my team,’ he announced to a round of groans from the other players.
I frowned at him, but I couldn’t very well deny him, not without making a fool of myself.
The game was set up and our team went first. I lined up the mallet with the ball and deliberately made a show of not knowing what I was doing.
‘Let me help you,’ Elil said, standing behind me and wrapping his arms around me, his hands on mine on the mallet.
He showed me how to aim and how to swing and together we hit the ball.
‘Good shot,’ Elil said in my ear before pulling away.
‘Yes. Good shot,’ Parisar said sarcastically.
When I looked at him he rolled his eyes. Parisar knew I could play. I wasn’t a great player, but he knew I was better than I was letting on. And he obviously knew why.
Elil played well as did Parisar. The two of them practically competing against one another despite being on the same team. I would have thought it ridiculous except I was also competing. The only difference was, I was competing for Elil’s attention and not for the game.
In the end, we won. Not that my score helped in any way. With Elil and Parisar trying to outdo each other, me and the other team may as well not have even been on the pitch.
The mallets were cleared away and Elil took my arm again to walk us across to where refreshments had been set up. There was a large white tent erected on the lawn with tables of sweets and cold drinks and tiny sandwiches for the players and spectators alike. The king sat in a large chair, Lord Adryon beside him, holding court as he discussed something with the other nobles.
‘What can I get for you?’ Prince Elil asked as he drew us closer to the refreshment table. ‘Another cupcake?’
He smiled down at me as we both remembered the moment. The moment before it had been ruined by Parisar.
I blushed and looked away. ‘Maybe just a drink this time,’ I said.
Before Elil could reach for a glass, one was pressed into my free hand. I looked down at it and then at the man who had put it there. Parisar.
‘You look parched,’ he said smugly.
Elil’s lips flattened before he forced them into a smile.
‘Thank you,’ I replied, looking between the two men who seemed to have forgotten that I was even standing there.
A choking sound pulled my attention from the standoff. The king was standing, clutching at his throat, his face red. I dropped the glass I was holding and ran to my father, fear vibrating through me.
‘Father!’ I called, reaching him as he collapsed, his eyes closed and his chest still.
I screamed, falling to my knees beside him. Someone pushed me roughly out of the way and tore open the doublet across his chest. Large hands pressed down forcefully and when that didn’t work, they rolled him on his side and hit him sharply between the shoulder blades. The king coughed and whatever had been lodged in his throat flew out. He dragged in a breath but then collapsed on his back. I cried out again but saw the slow, shallow rise of his chest.
He was alive.
He was alive.
‘We need to move him inside,’ a voice said.
I looked up to see Elil. It had been his hands. His quick thinking. His intervention that had saved my father.
Meanwhile, Lord Parisar and Lord Adryon looked on with consternation. Were they upset because the king lived?
I hated to think that way but…why else would they look so angry?
I met Parisar’s eyes and they flashed a moment before he turned on his heel and strode away.
‘Why won’t he wake up?’ I beseeched my mother with my eyes, but she didn’t reply.
I hadn’t been allowed to stay in the room when the physician examined him. My father was alive but still unconscious and no one was telling me anything.
‘Mother, why is he still like this?’ I tried again.
My mother took a breath and finally tore her eyes away from the window to look at me.
‘It’s best for him,’ she said. ‘This sleep will help him heal.’
‘Heal him from what?’ I asked, fear and grief making my voice harsher than was necessary.
‘If you are going to continue to question me, then you can leave,’ the queen said, her face taking on the imperious look of a woman who would brook no argument. ‘We don’t have time for this. We need to get ready for the ball.’
‘What?’ I couldn’t believe what she was saying. ‘You can’t seriously be thinking of going ahead with the ball tonight?’
‘I am and we will,’ she said. ‘It is what your father would want.’
I snorted in disbelief. ‘No,’ I said. ‘What he would want is for everyone to leave so he can get better. He absolutely would not want us to keep up with these events.’
The queen’s eyes flashed at me, real anger evident in her face. ‘And what would you know of what your father wants or why it is important to keep up appearances? You have never once taken an interest in the running of this kingdom. Don’t think you can start making decisions now.’
I took a step back at the vehemence in her words.
‘Don’t look at me like that,’ she said. ‘You know it’s true. Do you even know why all the other kingdoms are here? It’s certainly not to celebrate your birthday. And why do you think your father has ended up like this? Do you think it is coincidence or bad luck?’
‘I-I…’ I didn’t know what to say. What was she talking about? Except…I knew, or at least I had my suspicions. I’d known there was something else going on besides my birthday celebrations. And she was right. I had avoided any and all instruction on ruling the kingdom.
I looked at my father on the bed. His eyes were closed and his skin was so pale. He didn’t look like he was resting. He looked deathly still, even if his chest did rise and fall shallowly with each breath. He was alive, but just barely. Had someone done this to him on purpose? Had someone tried to kill the king?
And if the king died…
I wouldn’t become queen immediately. My mother would rule, but still…
‘How can you expect me to go to the ball as if nothing happened?’ I asked. ‘Won’t everyone know something is wrong? Won’t they all wonder why the ball is still on when the king is deathly ill?’
‘He is not deathly ill,’ the queen snapped and then took a breath. ‘At least that’s what we’ve told the guests. He is shaken from the incident and the physician has recommended bedrest, but the king is fine.’
I looked at my father again. He was not fine.
‘Snow,’ my mother said. ‘You need to go to the ball and pretend nothing is wrong. No one can know the king is unconscious.’ The queen crossed to me and gripped my shoulders, her fingers digging in hard enough to hurt. ‘No one can know,’ she reiterated through gritted teeth.
I saw the desperation in her eyes and nodded slowly. I still didn’t understand, but I was willing to trust her. She was my mother, the queen. She knew the king’s heart better than anyone. My father told her everything so I had to believe he had discussed this eventuality with her.
And that blew my mind.
Had they discussed a situation where he was incapacitated? Had they expected it?
‘The mirror,’ I said, searching her face. ‘You knew this was going to happen.’
Eleodora blinked, her face impassive.
‘You knew—’
‘Snow—’
I pulled away from her. ‘You knew and didn’t do anything to stop it.’ I was angry and horrified and…scared.
‘It doesn’t work like that, and you know it,’ she said, weariness heavy in her tone. ‘We knew this was a possibility but there were a hundred other possibilities too. The future is ever-changing, it is not set in stone. I can only see the possibilities, but they can change at the drop of a hat.’
‘But this,’ I flung my hand out toward my father, ‘this was a possibility and you didn’t try to stop it?’
‘We did try to stop it, but this was the more improbable of all the scenarios the mirror showed me. The most prominent involved you.’
I sucked in a breath, stumbling back. ‘Me?’
‘Yes,’ Eleodora said, rubbing her forehead. ‘The mirror showed you like this, unconscious or…or worse. It showed me over and over again.’
It was eerily familiar, the image my mother described. That’s what I’d seen, or thought I’d seen, or imagined I’d seen, but I had forgotten or disregarded it and since then the mirror had shown only a blurry image of myself.
‘Each scenario was different,’ my mother continued, ‘and by the end your father decided we should just protect you every minute of the day, but of course we knew you would have none of it. We asked Parisar—’
‘Parisar?’ I snorted.
The queen quirked an eyebrow. ‘Yes, Parisar.’
‘Are you sure Parisar and his father had nothing to do with this?’
Eleodora looked shocked. ‘Of course they had nothing to do with this.’
‘Yeah well I don’t trust them as much as you do. This is the perfect opportunity for them to do something to the king and pass suspicion onto someone else.’
‘That is ridiculous.’
‘Did they know about what the mirror said? Did you tell them?’
‘Yes, we did,’ my mother snapped, exasperated now. ‘Why wouldn’t we?’
‘And this happens,’ I snapped. ‘They knew the mirror was focussing on me, so they decided to get the king instead, while your attention was elsewhere.’
Eleodora gaped at me in disbelief, but I was certain. I was absolutely sure that Parisar and Adryon were to blame. They’d wanted my father’s crown and now they had a way to get it.
I spun on my heel and marched for the door.
‘Where are you going?’ the queen called after me.
‘To have them arrested.’
‘No,’ Queen Eleodora commanded with all the authority of the realm. There was something in that tone that made my step falter. ‘You will do no such thing. As far as the guests are concerned, your father choked and is a little worse for wear but it is nothing serious. You will not cause a ruckus and reveal the seriousness of the situation to everyone.’
I spun to face her. ‘So we are just going to let them get away with it?’
‘They didn’t do it,’ the queen said, frustrated now. ‘We are investigating the incident, quietly, so as not to alert the other nobles. We will find the perpetrator and they will be punished but not now, not tonight. Tonight we are having a ball and you will attend and you will smile and dance and you will keep you mouth shut about your father. No one is to know. No one. Promise me.’
I ground my teeth together but nodded my ascent.
The queen searched my face before nodding in return. ‘Now, go get ready. Tonight has to go off without a hitch.’