Chapter 5
I wore black.
Okay, that wasn’t true. I didn’t have a black gown, but I chose the gown closest to black as I could get. The deep purple one. It suited my mood.
Greta, picking up on my dark emotional state, kept the chit-chat to a minimum as she worked on my makeup and hair. The hairstyle was severe and the makeup dramatic with dark kohl lining my eyes and a deep amethyst lip colour to match my dress.
I felt like I was dressing for war.
It was hard to smile as I entered the ball, but I did it anyway. I would not show any weakness. The queen wanted me to pretend that there was nothing wrong, so I would. Even if I died a little inside.
Parisar was the first one to my side again. Had he been waiting for me? I gave him a cool look of acknowledgement and began to walk away but he reached out to take my arm. His hand was like a brand on my skin. I stopped and turned to him, looking down at where he touched me first before raising my eyes to his and narrowing them. He frowned at me, as if in confusion, and if I didn’t know better I would have said he was concerned. But it was all an act.
‘How are you?’ Parisar whispered, still not letting go of my arm.
‘I’m fine,’ I replied, making a point to look down at my arm again.
Instead of letting me go, he stepped closer. ‘How is the king? Is there any change?’ These words he whispered in my ear and I recoiled from the intimacy.
‘The king is absolutely fine,’ I replied, my voice low but firm. ‘He just needs rest.’
Parisar tilted his head, looking at me curiously.
‘No thanks to you,’ I added as I stepped back and pulled my arm away.
‘What?’ He blinked and if I hadn’t known his ulterior motive I would have almost believed the hurt and confusion in his voice.
Before I could say any more and publicly accuse Parisar of treason, Elil arrived at my side.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked, his eyes soft and his voice full of concern.
I softened a little and nodded. ‘I’m fine.’ I even managed a small smile in his direction.
Elil looked at me for a long moment before smiling in return. He took my hand and tucked it through his elbow. ‘Would you like to go for a walk?’
‘Yes,’ I replied gratefully, needing to get away from Parisar before my grief made me do something that would ruin everything my mother was trying to do.
Elil led me away, leaving Parisar to stare after us. The more distance Elil put between us and Parisar, the more I relaxed, or maybe that was because I was with Elil. He had that effect on me. I took a deep breath, inhaling his floral and woodsy scent and felt my shoulders relax.
Prince Elil guided me outside and down the wide stone steps to the garden. I took another deep breath, this time of the heavy scented air. Roses and night jasmine, a scent so familiar to me and yet tonight it felt different. My bubble had burst and the real world—a world I’d had no idea even existed—was making even the most familiar things unfamiliar.
Did my mother really believe there were forces at work to kill the king and take over the kingdom?
Of course she did. So did I…except, as much as I hadn’t liked Lord Adryon and accused him of coveting my father’s throne, I hadn’t thought he would really do anything to try and take it. Things like that didn’t happen in Eudaimonia. Things like that only happened in books.
‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ Elil asked, stopping us at a stone bench.
I lowered myself to the bench and sighed. ‘I’m okay. It was just such a shock to see my father like that.’
Elil sat beside me and took my hand between his two larger ones. ‘You must have been scared.’
‘I was,’ I admitted.
I was telling the truth and yet…I was lying too. I couldn’t tell Elil everything, even if I wanted to. I trusted him, but my mother had forbade me from saying anything about the king’s condition.
‘But he’s okay now?’ Elil inquired, his eyebrows pulled down in concern. ‘The queen sent a message saying he needed rest but would make a full recovery.’
I looked up at him and bit my lip before forcing my head to nod. ‘Yes. He will make a full recovery after some rest.’ I spoke the words like a benediction, forcing the universe to make it true, beseeching the goddess Irys to make my prayer come true.
Elil’s shoulders relaxed beside me, and he exhaled roughly. ‘I’m glad,’ he said. ‘I was so worried. I hadn’t known what to do, and then when he didn’t wake…’
I turned my hand over in his and squeezed his hand. ‘I never thanked you,’ I said. ‘For what you did. You saved my father’s life.’
Elil looked down at me, his eyes wide. ‘I only did what anyone else would have done,’ he said.
‘Maybe,’ I admitted. ‘But you were the one who stepped in. You were the one who moved first when everyone else, including me, stood by and watched. Thank you.’
I stretched up and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. He sucked in a breath and as I pulled away, his eyes were wide and his cheeks flushed.
‘Snow…’ he began, his words a whispered breath.
‘You’re needed at the ball,’ a stern voice cut through the moment.
Parisar.
Had he followed us? Had he been spying on us?
I narrowed my eyes as I looked at the interloper. I was so sick of him barging his way into these moments with Elil. How did he always know? The only reasonable explanation was that he was following us.
‘Your mother sent me to find you,’ Parisar said, his voice still hard, his eyes boring into mine like he could read my thoughts.
Elil stood and then offered me his hand. ‘Thank you,’ he said, addressing Parisar but not looking at him.
I took Elil’s hand and ignored Parisar as we walked past him. My arm brushed Parisar’s, the touch zinging through me. I didn’t recoil, although I wanted to. I kept my head high and my face a mask of serenity. I would not give him the satisfaction of knowing how upset I was. I would not let him know how worried I was. Lord Parisar would not win. I would not let him.
‘Do you think we could meet tomorrow?’ Elil asked just before we reentered the ballroom. ‘I think I can sneak away for a couple of hours…if that’s not being too forward?’
I couldn’t control the smile breaking across my face. ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Definitely.’
Parisar cornered me later. I had successfully avoided him for the majority of the ball, but he managed to catch me when I had finally let my guard down.
‘What is going on with you?’ he demanded.
‘Nothing is going on with me,’ I replied, my attention on the food table as I tried to ignore him.
‘You’re a bad liar, Snow,’ he hissed.
‘Only a good liar would know,’ I retorted.
‘And what is that supposed to mean?’
‘Isn’t it obvious? You’re the accomplished liar amongst us, so I suppose you would be good at spotting someone who was bad at it.’
Parisar swore under his breath, crossing his arms and turning away from me for a moment. I thought that would be the end of it, but he swung back around, narrowing his eyes at me.
‘You need to be careful around Elil,’ he said. ‘I don’t trust him.’
I snorted. ‘What are you afraid of, Parisar? That he might take what you want?’
I hadn’t meant to say it, but I couldn’t help it.
‘Yes,’ Parisar said, stepping closer to me.
I looked up into his eyes. His gaze was intense and it caused shivers to erupt along my skin.
I had been talking about the kingdom, and voicing my suspicion about his motives, but Parisar looked like he was referring to something else.
I swallowed.
We were standing so close that if I moved even a bit, our bodies would touch. I held my breath. My body hummed.
‘You need to be careful around Elil,’ he said, his voice a rough whisper, the words brushing my neck as he spoke into my ear. ‘You can’t trust him.’
I blinked up at Parisar, confused by the roiling sensations in my body. ‘And can I trust you?’ I asked, doubt clear in my tone.
His eyes widened and hurt flashed across his face. ‘Snow—’
I stepped away from him. The action took all my determination and it felt like I was moving through molasses.
‘Thank you—’ My voice cracked and I stopped to clear my throat. ‘Thank you for your concern, Lord Parisar’ I said as I continued to put space between us. ‘I will take your concerns under advisement.’
I didn’t wait for his reply, and I refused to acknowledge the look on his face. That wasn’t hurt. That was his realisation his plan wouldn’t work. That was him realising he could no longer go on fooling me.
I fled. Okay, I didn’t run, but I walked away with as much speed as I could without raising suspicion about my movements. I didn’t even know where I was going and it wasn’t until I practically ran into someone that I came back to myself and took in my surroundings.
‘I am so sorry,’ I stammered.
‘It’s perfectly alright,’ a warm voice replied. ‘It saves me from seeking you out.’
I looked up and found Prince Char smiling down at me.
‘Prince Char,’ I said. ‘I am so sorry.’
‘As I said, it is perfectly alright and it has the added benefit of you now owing me a favour.’
‘A favour?’ I asked, awareness kicking back in. ‘What kind of favour?’
‘A dance?’ He raised one eyebrow and offered his arm. ‘It’s the least you could do after almost knocking me to the ground.’ He smiled to let me know he was joking.
I relaxed and took his arm. ‘It would be my pleasure,’ I said, glad to have a distraction.
‘You did tread on my foot,’ Char said, affecting a slight limp. ‘So I might not be up to my usual flawless self.’
I patted his hand. ‘You poor thing,’ I said, concern dripping from my words. ‘Shall I call the physician for you?’
‘Will you stay by my bedside and nurse me back to health?’ he asked hopefully.
‘Um…’
Char laughed. ‘Let’s dance,’ he said as the musicians played a fast-paced melody.
Char swirled me onto the dance floor, his form and footsteps flawless. I let out a surprised laugh and relaxed into his arms. He was an even better dancer than Elil, if I was honest.
‘I wanted to express our concern for the king,’ Char said, sobering for a moment even as he continued to dance. ‘My father wanted you to know that if there is anything we can do to just let him know.’
Char’s father was King Hans, ruling monarch of Kairos. I’d known that. I’d understood that the monarchs from our neighbouring kingdoms were all here, but I’d been so preoccupied with Elil that I hadn’t given the other monarchs much thought.
I smiled up at him, the humour dimming a little. ‘I will let the king know of your concern and your generous offer.’
Char nodded and then wiped the sombreness from his face, grinning at me. ‘Now that the formalities are over, how about we have some fun?’
‘What?’
Char winked at me and then spun me in such a complicated dance that I was laughing with the effort to keep up with him. I’m sure I must have looked like an idiot, but I didn’t care. In that moment, Char had helped me forget everything going on with my father and Parisar…okay, not forget, but for a moment at least, I was free of the heavy weight of worry.
‘Your injury is healed then?’ I asked, laughing breathlessly as he slowed our spin, the music slowing with him.
He started to limp again, trying to dance while also limping and making an absolute fool of himself. I laughed. I couldn’t help it.
‘You wound me, Princess,’ he said.
‘And here I was just thinking what an incredible dancer you are.’
The limp disappeared as suddenly as it appeared and Char grinned down at me. ‘Your kind words have a healing touch,’ he said, bowing his head to me. ‘I am healed.’
I laughed again, grateful for Char and his mischief. He was not at all what I expected a prince to be.
‘Thank you,’ I said as we walked off the dance floor.
‘For what?’ He looked curiously at me.
‘For making me smile,’ I replied. ‘It has been a trying day and you have made it a little lighter.’
He grinned. ‘I’m glad,’ he said. ‘Any time you need your day lightened, you know where to find me.’
He walked away and I was left feeling a little lonely without his presence. I sighed and turned. Hopefully people had taken notice of us on the dance floor and had seen me laugh and the ruse that my father was well would be convincing.
‘Princess.’
I turned from the view of the night. I was standing on the balcony again, having escaped from the crowd inside to take a few breaths and let my mask drop. I didn’t know how my mother did it. To look at her no one would know there was anything wrong. I’d been trying to emulate her, but I’d needed a break.
‘Prince Granger,’ I smiled as I replied, even though the last thing I felt like doing was smiling.
‘Your father—’
I made my smile wider. ‘The king is just fine,’ I replied. ‘The physician has insisted on bed rest, but he will make a full recovery.’
Prince Granger nodded and looked around awkwardly. I couldn’t work him out. He was standoffish and aloof, but maybe he was just shy? It didn’t seem possible, but then how would I know? I was making assumptions based on preconceived ideas of who a prince was supposed to be.
‘Would you like to dance, Prince Granger?’ I asked.
It was too forward of me but I was beyond caring. My emotions were in turmoil. I was worried about my father and pretending not to be, and I was tired, wrung out, and walking a tightrope of completely losing it.
Prince Granger looked mildly scandalised before schooling his features and nodding, offering his arm to me. I took it and let him lead me back inside to the dance floor.
Granger was a decent dancer, although not as flashy as Char and not as technically accurate as Elil, but good nonetheless. It was easy dancing with him, although I wished he would make conversation.
‘Tell me about Thalasso,’ I said.
He looked surprised. ‘It’s north,’ he said.
I tried not to roll my eyes. ‘It’s warmer there.’
He nodded. ‘No snow,’ he said and then his cheeks darkened when he realised what he’d said.
I laughed. ‘No snow.’
Was it weird being named after a weather phenomenon? Yes, but to me it was my name and I was able to distinguish the difference when someone was addressing me and when they were talking about actual snow.
‘I’d like to go there one day,’ I said. It was the truth. I’d love to visit all the kingdoms and see how they lived and worked.
Again, Granger looked surprised. ‘The rumours don’t bother you?’
‘Rumours?’
Granger rolled his eyes then. It was the first real emotion I’d seen from him, if an eye roll could be deemed an emotion.
‘The rumours that we live in the ocean and have tails.’
‘Clearly they’re wrong,’ I said, looking down at his legs as we continued to dance.
‘Doesn’t stop the rumours,’ he said.
‘I’m sure there are rumours about Eudaimonia too,’ I said.
He raised an eyebrow at me. ‘Your queen has a magic mirror,’ he said.
It wasn’t a rumour. It was true, but I didn’t know anyone else knew about it. And I had absolutely no idea there were rumours about it.
‘Oh?’ I said, raising my eyes in surprise. ‘And what does this magic mirror do?’
He kept his eyes on me as he answered, ‘It lets the queen know who is the most beautiful in the land.’
That gave me pause. ‘What?’ I said as a laugh burst from me.
Granger shrugged. ‘Apparently the mirror determines who the most beautiful is. Your queen is always named.’
‘My mother is beautiful,’ I replied.
How did these rumours start? If all the mirror did was determine beauty then what use would it be? As if my mother was so vain that she needed a mirror to reassure her of her beauty.
‘But perhaps she is no longer the most beautiful,’ Granger said.
I looked up at him in surprise. ‘What?’ I said again, this time without the laugh.
He smiled, or at least attempted a smile. The corner of his lips tugged up, but he didn’t show any teeth. ‘Maybe your mother is no longer the most beautiful in the kingdom,’ he repeated.
I looked around. The other women in attendance were lovely, of course, but my mother stood out among them. Or I could have just been biased.
‘You, Princess,’ Granger said.
My eyes snapped back to his. ‘Me?’
Granger nodded. ‘The portrait painters of Eudaimonia were not diligent in their task. Oh, the portraits they sent of you were done well enough, but they underplayed your beauty, your highness. I think we were all shocked when we saw you walk down the stairs the first night. No one was expecting to see such charm.’
My cheeks flushed. I felt like a fraud. It was all makeup and clothes and the way my hair was done. It wasn’t really me.
I didn’t know what to say.
The music ended and Granger stepped back, bowing to me.
‘Thank you for the dance,’ he replied.
‘Thank you,’ I replied automatically.
I turned and ran into a hard chest. I looked up and blinked. Parisar stood there. His jaw was tight and there was a storm in his eyes. I narrowed my own eyes at him and stood back.
‘What?’
‘Your mother would like to see you,’ he ground out.
‘Fine,’ I replied, stepping past him and heading toward where my mother sat.
The queen saw me coming and stood, motioning for me to follow her into a small private alcove behind her chair.
I stepped into the niche and then stopped when Parisar went to follow me.
‘Not you,’ I said.
‘Snow,’ the queen said. ‘Let him in. I want to speak to both of you.’
I glared at Parisar before allowing him to join us. He pulled the screen closed behind us, shutting out the noise from the ball.
‘What’s wrong?’ I said, turning to my mother. ‘Is Father okay? Has he worsened? Has he woken?’
Eleodora dropped the mask she’d been wearing all night and I could see the weariness in her eyes. She made it look so easy but I saw the toll it was taking on her.
‘No,’ she said.
‘No?’ I sucked in a breath.
‘No, he hasn’t gotten worse,’ she clarified.
I turned to look at Parisar and then back at my mother. ‘Does he know the truth?’ I hissed.
‘Of course he does,’ the queen replied. ‘Without Lord Adryon and Lord Parisar, we couldn’t keep the ruse up.’
‘Are you sure they didn’t cause this?’ I asked, not caring that Parisar was standing right there.
‘Snow,’ my mother said, steel in her tone.
‘Why didn’t he help father when he was choking? Why did he just stand there and watch? If not for Prince Elil—‘
Parisar snorted. ‘Prince Elil.’ He shook his head.
‘What? At least he did something. He saved Father.’
‘Did he?’ Parisar asked, raising his eyebrows at me. ‘Or did he cause it and then step in to make it look like he was saving the king to gain favour with you?’
‘What?’
‘Enough,’ the queen said, her voice strong but quiet. ‘Now is not the time to argue. Snow, I want you to stick close to Lord Parisar.’
‘What? Why?’
‘Because I’m worried you will be the next target.’
‘What?’ I didn’t screech, aware of the need for quiet, but it was a near thing. ‘Why are you telling me this now? In the middle of the ball?’
‘Because I’ve only just become aware of it,’ Parisar said.
‘You.’ I turned on him. ‘What nonsense are you filling my mother’s head with? She is under enough pressure as it is. The last thing she needs is you scaring her.’
‘No, the last thing she needs is you acting like a spoiled princess,’ he retorted.
I opened my mouth to spit out a reply but stopped when my mother laid a hand on my arm.
‘Please, Snow,’ she said. ‘Just listen to me. Lord Parisar can keep you safe.’
‘And if he’s the one who has caused all this?’
Parisar growled beside me but didn’t argue.
‘He’s not,’ Eleodora said with a confidence I didn’t share. ‘Just trust me, okay?’
I looked at my mother for a long time before I finally nodded in ascent. I didn’t trust Parisar and I wouldn’t, but if I needed to lie to my mother to make her feel better, then I would. In the meantime, I would look into it myself. I was sure Parisar was hiding something, and I refused to just let him get away with whatever it was. I would expose him. It was my duty to, for the sake of the kingdom.