Chapter 55
His warmth floods into me, and I join him, tipping over the edge.
He grips both hips and forces his seed deep within my depths.
The rough stone of the altar carves flesh wounds in my back, but I welcome the pain it brings.
His warmth fills me with contentment. He is my savior.
My lover. My brother. “We. Are. One,” he chants like a prayer over and over.
I’m Mrs. Lark. His wife. His everything.
The emerald on my finger sparkles in the candlelight.
Zain’s leg is draped over my thigh while his arm rests on my stomach and he snores softly.
His hair hangs over his eyes, making him look dark and mysterious.
It’s as if he hasn’t gotten good sleep in God knows how long.
He’s been out nine hours and counting. We’re sprawled out on his bed.
His chest is on display, so I let my fingers roam lightly over his scars.
It shatters my insides to know he’s treated himself this way. That he felt the need to add to his markings because it’s the only way to satisfy his craving. He’s ashamed of his diagnosis, as if it defines him. I drop my hand and run my fingers back over my ruby. I’m his. We’re all each other has.
I took the liberty of tidying up his house over break. I wish we could stay in this fairy tale for a while longer. I’m not ready to go back to Grimshaw and face everything. Clara. The death of Jax. And certainly not the death of my father.
Dante reached out to me when he wasn’t able to get ahold of Pearson.
He thought he was breaking the news to me, but all he did was delay the inevitable.
Being Pearson’s only legal daughter, he left everything to me.
I met with a lawyer and went over all the paperwork.
I don’t want a dime of it. It physically makes me ill to accept it.
If anyone deserves it, it’s Zain. They failed him on all accounts.
He can do with it what he sees fit. I can’t imagine the grief and suffering he was exposed to.
He was already tossed like trash from our mother, but then to be thrown away by the people who were supposed to love him the most. It’s heartbreaking.
I worry Kieran’s father knows too much. I’m filled with trepidation.
Any day this illusion will come shattering down into a million fractured pieces.
Pearson’s death was also swept under the rug.
Mortensen I’m sure suspects us, but he has no proof.
The police managed to find the note amongst the rubble.
I haven’t spoken to Clara much since the performance either.
Zain assures me Kieran is handling it so she won’t be forced into being the offering.
If she loses that scholarship, she will lose it.
I don’t want her spiraling over the edge.
Her drug problems are more extensive than Zain’s.
When she falls, she plummets to the edge of the abyss.
Zain’s phone buzzes on my nightstand, jolting him awake.
Roland flickers across the screen, making him glower.
“You should talk to him,” I say softly. He scoots up in the silk sheets, scrubbing his hands over his face. He’s edgy.
I run lazy circles over his back to settle his raging monsters. Reluctance radiates off him in waves.
He finally swipes to answer. “Roland,” he says coldly. He puts it on speaker so I can hear.
“Zain. Son. How are you?”
Zain is silent a moment before he responds, “Fine.” He grits it as if it pains him to even talk to him. I can understand. He feels let down by everyone in his life and doesn’t trust that Roland could ever love him. As if he’s unworthy of such affections.
“I was hoping we could meet up. It has been too long.”
Zain doesn’t hide his scowl. I give him a reassuring look while his dark eyes drill into me. Roland cuts through the silence. “Zain?”
He grips the phone so tight I’m surprised it doesn’t crush between his fingers. “Fine,” he grits between his teeth.
I reach out to touch his rigid jawline. I caress his stubble that’s grown in. He’s been under immense stress.
“Please stop by this afternoon. I look forward to seeing you, son.” Zain hangs up without uttering another syllable.
He grumbles and grabs at my wrist. “Vesper,” he warns. There is an undercurrent of unease just under the surface.
“Though Pearson discarded you, it does not mean Roland needs to pay for his sins.”
His hooded eyes hang on my words, mulling them over.
The pain and resentment he feels is valid, just not towards Roland.
I don’t know the extent of his upbringing after he left Amelia and Pearson, but I’m betting Roland and Beatrice tried their best. The fact Roland calls so frequently tells me he loves Zain.
“He doesn’t love me,” he states. His head falls back against the pillow. His face contorts with pressure and pent-up rage he’s trying desperately to suppress. I know the voices are clawing their way to the surface. He taps the side of his skull.
“Just want my mind to go quiet,” his voice breaks.
I pepper kisses along his jawline. Without waiting to see if it calms him, I climb on top of his body, straddling him.
His breath comes in short waves. “Drown in me,” I whisper along his maw.
An animalistic growl leaves his throat. I know what he needs. I’ll do anything to ease his ache.
“I love you, Zain.”
His eyes turn hungry and feral. He snaps.
His hands snatch my waist, and he flips me onto my stomach.
His hard cock nudges against my ass cheeks.
He pulls at my dark hair, winding it around his palm.
“You…love…me?” he repeats slowly in a low, pained whisper, as if in disbelief.
As if he’s never heard the words before. Then it dawns on me. He hasn’t.
“Ease the ache, Zain. Use me.”
He roars to life and rips my panties from my body.
He wiggles free of his boxers and doesn’t hesitate.
He plunges inside me without foreplay. As if I needed it, I’m shamefully soaked for him.
The stretch burns into a visceral delight.
His piercings drag against my inner walls.
I fist the silk sheets as he pounds mercilessly into me.
He’s a dangerous drug, and I’m addicted. A tainted bliss. A carnal destruction.
“The voices silence when I’m inside you. Can’t remember the last time I felt this way,” he rumbles against my backside. His teeth graze my neck. He grabs something from the nightstand beside us. His fingers trace along my lips.
“Join me.” He slips a pill under my tongue. He forces my jaw closed until it dissolves.
His hands roam over my silky skin. “Cut me, Zain. Taste my sanguine flow. Lose yourself to me.”
He slams into me, then his teeth pierce my flesh. A shallow cry leaves my lips. Back-to-back oblivion racks my body. His touch sends a frisson of pleasure through my core. He’s awakened my inner being, shown me who I truly am.
His tongue swipes along my jaw, tasting my innermost secrets and desires.
“Mine. Mine. Mine,” he repeats in desperate cries over and over, as if I’ll disappear from existence.
He doesn’t fully grasp that I will never disown him.
Ever. He’s a prisoner in his own mind. My irises roll back, revealing only the whites of my eyes.
He rolls to his side, taking me with him.
His cock is still lodged deep within my depths.
His free hand snakes around to cover my neck.
His other hand finds my clit. He pumps into me with deep, long strokes.
His hot breath sends a shiver down my spine when he licks the shell of my ear.
“Follow me into the darkness, Vesper. Into the abysmal depths of hell. Release me from the prison of my mind.”
His words send me plummeting into a vortex in the deepest reaches of my mind, throwing me into a sepulchral ecstasy. He joins me in the blissful peace, filling my insides with his sweet release.
“Yours,” I reassure him.
His body sags against me. This is the first time he’s held me, and though it’s for his own comfort it brings me solace.