Chapter 39
Ryder
That was too fucking close. The portals were reckless, and I should’ve known better. If my father had gotten his hands on her again—
The thought has my power rattling the castle windows and I have to take a deep breath to calm myself.
I can’t just agree to her wants anymore.
If saying no to things like taking her to see the Divinity Oracle keeps her safe, then that’s what I need to do.
Her safety is the only thing that matters now.
“How’d it go?” Artemus looks up from the scroll that Roman has pinned down with his hands when I enter the war room.
“Not according to plan.”
“Yeah, I kind of figured that when the walls started shaking.”
“So intuitive you are.”
Artemus leans back, lacing his hands behind his head. “No, I just know you.”
“Yeah, well it wasn’t a complete failure. You’ll never guess where we landed.”
Roman’s attention is now fixed on me instead of whatever it is they were looking at before I walked in.
“Where?”
I pull out the chair next to Artemus and sit down. “The damn island we’ve been searching for.”
“What?” The two of them nearly jump out of their seats.
“How?”
“Where is it?”
“Did you find the scepter?”
The questions come spewing out of them, one after the other and I have to hold up my hand to stop them.
“Don’t get too excited. We didn’t find the tomb, let alone the scepter and I have absolutely no idea how we’re going to find the island again.” Artemus is about to ask something else, but I quickly cut him off. “What I do know is there aren’t any wards up and it’s somewhere in the Infinite Sea.”
“You think your father found a way to get them down? From what we know they would’ve been forged from old magic.” Artemus twirls one of the dragon figurines in between his fingers. “There’s no way it would’ve been easy.”
“I wish I had more answers, but I don’t.”
My response isn’t what they were hoping for but it’s the truth. We spend the next few minutes bouncing around different ideas on how we might be able to track down the island and what it means if my father really has gotten his hands on the scepter.
By the end, nothing we discussed really matters. We’re still just as clueless as we were before, only now it feels like there’s an hourglass in the back of our minds, reminding us all that time is quickly running out.
After spending all day with the military units, all I want to do is take a hot shower and fall into my bed, but seeing the war room lights on has my body moving in the other direction.
“What are you doing here?”
The sound of my voice must startle her because she quickly jumps up, slamming the book in her hands shut. When she realizes it’s just me, she rests her hand over her heart and exhales a deep breath.
“Sorry. I was just…” Reign shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter.” She begins shuffling loose papers into a pile.
“Stay.”
“It’s fine,” she insists, now stacking books on top of each other. “It was a waste of time, anyway.”
I should leave. Being around her any more than I have to is just unnecessary torture that I don’t need to inflict on myself. I should just turn around and head to my room like I had planned.
So, why is my body doing the exact opposite?
It feels involuntary like my mind and body each have their own agenda.
“Tell me what you were doing.”
She picks everything up off the table. “It was stupid.”
She’s about to pass by me, but I grab onto her arm, and she stops.
“What’s this?” I ask, pulling out a piece of paper that was sticking out of the top book. She doesn’t say anything, but I don’t need her to. I recognize the image on the paper. “This was one of the symbols carved into the ruins.”
Reign shrugs and it makes her hair fall off her shoulder. “I thought maybe they would help me find something out about the island.” I reach for the stack of books and set them back down on the table. “What are you doing?”
“Two pairs of eyes are better than one.” I pull the chair she was sitting in back out and motion for her to sit. “Now, where did you leave off?”
“No.” She crosses her arms and plants her feet, defying my silent request for her to sit. “You don’t get to act like an asshole and then just expect me to turn around and act like everything is fine!”
Her reaction takes me by surprise. I know I was cold to her earlier and I shouldn’t have been, but it’s hard knowing how to be with her now that her and Damien are back together.
Cold and detached was my default setting when they were together back at the Sector.
Granted, I also had a persona to live up to, but pushing people away is what I know.
It’s the easy thing to do. At least, it used to be.
“You’re mad.”
“Mad. Confused.” She throws the pile of papers down on the table. “I get you being upset with me over the portal, but the whole time we were on that island you were…” She hesitates, trying to find the right words. “You were the old Ryder.”
Seeing the hurt on her face makes me feel sick.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want your apology. I want to understand.” She moves closer to where I’m standing next to the chair I pulled out for her but doesn’t sit down. “What did I do?”
Hearing that she thinks she did something to make me treat her that way makes me want to stab myself a hundred times over.
“You did nothing. I just…” I can’t even look at her. “Being the guy you want me to be isn’t always easy.”
It’s all I can offer her without telling her how much seeing the two of them together affects me.
“I don’t expect you to be some prince charming, Ryder. Trust me. I know better.” The space between her brows pinches. “But don’t act like the guy I want you to be is someone you aren’t already.”
I toss my head back. “And you need to understand that those parts of me are not the only ones that exist.”
“Stop!” She’s all but inches from me now. “Stop acting like you’re some terrible person! Like the mask of the dark prince you used to wear is who you truly are.”
“But it is!” I grab ahold of her wrists, pulling her to me. “Just because you’ve seen some visions of my past does NOT mean you know me. There is so much you don’t know.”
“Then tell me! I want to know.”
I release her wrist and take a step back. “No, you don’t.”
“Who are you to tell me what I want? You don’t get to decide that for me.”
“I can’t, Reign!”
“Yes, you can! You just won’t!”
“Because you would hate me if you knew!”
The moment the words leave my mouth, the window at the back of the room shatters. I instantly cover her with my body, letting the glass shards embed themselves into my back.
“Are you okay?” I ask, leaning my head back to look at her.
She glances up at me and I brush the hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.
“I wouldn’t hate you,” she whispers. I open my mouth to say something, but she stops me. “Don’t. I don’t want to argue with you anymore. It’s not doing either of us any good.”
“Okay.” I drop my hold on her and she immediately starts ordering me to turn around.
“Next time, blow up one of the chair cushions instead.”
“I’ll do my best,” I say over my shoulder as she begins removing the pieces of glass from my back.
How easy it is for us to toe the line of overwhelming emotion.
We’re like fire and ice. Both intense in our own right, yet somehow tamed by the presence of the other.
Where she’s light, I’m darkness. Where she’s fiery, I’m glacial.
Where she is the sun, I am the moon. Both meant to stand on our own, separate from one another.
And yet, it’s almost as if we need the other in order to exist.
“That’s the last one,” she tells me, setting the blood covered shard on the table with the others. “Now, take your shirt off so I can clean the wounds.”
“I can do it myself.”
“It wasn’t a suggestion.”
I pull my shirt over my head, giving into her demand. “Is this the kind of bedside manner Henry has been teaching you?”
“Actually, we haven’t gotten to the lesson on how to deal with insufferable patients.”
“Ouch. Take it easy on me. I’m already hurt.”
“And whose fault would that be?” she looks up at me with a raised brow and motions for me to sit backwards on the chair I had previously pulled out for her. “I’ve gotta go get supplies. I’ll be back.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I watch her walk out of the room, determined to fix me up. Most people would just leave, but not her. She’s too stubborn for that, just like she’s too stubborn to admit that there are parts of me that are beyond redemption.