Chapter 45
Reign
Ican’t seem to shake the feeling of guilt that has hollowed my stomach.
What does it matter if Damien knows that Ryder gave me the necklace?
It’s just a stupid necklace. It doesn’t mean anything.
And it’s not like I’m hiding it from him.
Damien just hasn’t asked about it and it seems unnecessary to just be like “Hey, look at this necklace Ryder got me for my birthday last year when you were off plotting my demise!”
Mother, why must he be so infuriating?
And why did he have to pin me up against the wall and stand so close that I can still smell his scent on me now?
The pit in my stomach grows, thinking about the thoughts that had run wild in my mind in that moment.
I’m with Damien. I love him and have chosen to try again with him.
But my body. My stupid, stupid body can’t help but react around Ryder.
Both my mind and body seem to betray me time and time again when he’s around.
“What’s got you in such a mood?” Amaya asks, looking up from her book.
“Not what, who.”
She tosses her head back. “What did he do this time?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Besides, I’ve been meaning to ask how Zane is doing.”
All the color seems to drain from her face.
“He’s still recovering from Slader’s magic, but that’s hardly a focus for him.
More than anything, he’s mourning the loss of Nexus.
It was so unexpected and the two of them had grown really close while they were at the Sector.
I mean, without us there, Nexus was really his only person.
The only one he could truly trust. I think for Zane, his death is just as bad as if it were one of us. ”
“Shit. You’re so right. I hadn’t even thought about it like that.” I hug her from behind and she rests her head against mine, letting out a deep sigh.
“I don’t know how to help him.”
“What do you mean?” I walk around to sit in one of the cushioned seats in front of her. “Just you being there for him is enough. I don’t think you understand just how incredibly comforting your presence is. It’s almost like another power you have."
"I don’t know about all that.”
“Well, I do, so don’t overthink it. Just continue to be there for him. Even if he acts like he doesn’t need it, trust me, he does.”
“Okay, let’s change the subject before I start to cry,” she pleads with the wave of her hand. “Come look at what I have so far.”
She scoots over and I sit down next to her in the chair that is almost big enough for three people.
“This is the list of all the monsters said to live in the Dread Woods. We broke the list into sections so we could divide and conquer. Zane and Akari have these, and I have these.” She points to a list of about fifteen names.
“I had no idea there were this many different creatures in there.”
“Right?” She turns her head to look at me. “I thought the same thing, but some of them are just variations of each other. Like the Lybrates. Those were the ones you guys got attacked by, right?”
“Highly recommend avoiding those.”
She laughs, and it feels good to see her smile. “Okay, so basically Lybrates, Tryl, and Nox are in the same kind of family of chimeras. But like some kind of mutated evil twin.”
“Delightful.” I wasn’t going to say anything until we were all together, but it doesn’t seem right not telling her right now. “So, Ryder has agreed to go back and try to make a deal with some of them to fight on our side.”
“WHAT?” She nearly jumps out of the seat. “You’re not going with him, are you?”
“I am,” I reply hesitantly. “But he’ll be there with me.”
“And why can’t he just go alone or with someone else?” She counters, her face filled with concern.
“Because I was the one who stopped him from killing one of the creatures last time. If he goes without me, there’s no chance of a deal being made. That, I’m sure of.”
“I’m going to kill him if something happens to you.”
“Oh, I know you will. But don’t blame him. It was my idea.”
“Of course, it was.” She glares at me sideways. “You and your bright ideas.”
I shrug innocently and she shakes her head.
We spend the rest of the afternoon doing research on her list. Maybe having a better idea of what I’ll be walking into will help just a little.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll just have to wait and see,” Damien tells me with a devious smirk.
A few minutes later, I see a blanket laid out in the middle of the Shadow Lands with a basket and wine glasses.
“What’s all this?”
He motions for me to take a seat on one of the large pillows. “There’s been a lot going on and I thought we could use a date night.”
“You put all this together?”
“I might have had a little help from a certain witch.” He takes one of the glasses and begins to fill it.
“I was with her all day, and she didn’t say a thing!”
“Well, that would defeat the purpose of it being a surprise,” he replies, handing me the glass of red wine.
“What’s in the basket?” I ask before taking a sip.
“My dear, what is a picnic without snacks?” He turns around and pulls out a plate of chocolate-covered strawberries, followed by cheese, crackers, an assortment of meats, mixed nuts, small sandwiches with the crust removed, and a bundle of grapes.
“This looks delicious!” I reach for one of the grapes and pluck it from its stem.
“Anything for my lady.” He leans over to give me a sweet kiss.
I love nights like this. No talk of war, or loss, or the unknown. Just the two of us on a normal date. Moments like this are hard to come by these days, so I don’t take it for granted.
“My sister wrote me,” he says before finishing off his chocolate-covered strawberry.
“Oh, yeah?” I lay down on the blanket but prop myself up with my elbow. “What did she say?”
“Mostly the normal stuff.” He lays down to match me. “But she did say she wants to spend more time with you when we’re able to. She said that you lived up to the hype of my previous letters to her.”
I can’t stop the smile from spreading from cheek to cheek. I’m not usually one to care about having other’s approval, but hers matters to me. Mostly because I know it’s important to Damien.
“I look forward to spending more time with her, too! Would you ever want to live in the Infinite Sea Territories? To be closer to her and your mother?”
Damien looks off into the distance. “I hadn’t really thought about it.
I mean, I just had assumed I would be assigned to a military unit in the realms. I suppose things may be different after all of this is said and done.
” He draws his gaze back to me. “What about you? Where do you see your home being?”
I hadn’t given it much thought either, I guess. “I suppose for me, home is wherever my people are. That’s really all that matters to me.”
“Yeah, I can’t really picture you and Amaya living in separate lands. That just wouldn’t be right.” There’s a moment of hesitation like he’s about to say something else but doesn’t.
“What?”
He runs his hand through his thick, chocolate brown hair. “I didn’t really want to bring it up tonight, but there’s something I need to run by you.”
My heart immediately sinks. “Okay…”
“Ryder asked me to go visit the Southern Territories to see if they’ll fight with us.”
I sit up. “No.” It comes out as a whine. “I just got you back.”
He gently pushes my hair behind my ear. “I know. But Ryder is needed here, and my father was an emissary. I know the ropes which makes me the best guy for the job.” My head drops. “I won’t go if you don’t want me to. Just say the word and I’ll tell Ryder to send someone else.”
It’s a tempting offer.
“No, you have to go,” I sigh. “As much as I hate it, it’s the right thing. We’re in no shape to face off against the king and we’re running out of time.”
“Are you sure?”
“I am,” I exhale. “This is starting to feel like Second Year all over again. I hate that we have to keep saying goodbye.”
He reaches over and laces his fingers through mine.
“No matter how many times I leave, I will always come back home to you.” I lean in, kissing him deeply, but when I lean away, he can tell something is up. “What is it?”
“I need to run something by you, too.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Ryder and I have plans to go back to the Dread Woods to see about making a deal with some of the creatures there.”
“You, what?” He tenses and waits for an explanation.
“I know it sounds crazy, but I need you to trust that I know what I’m doing.”
He’s silent for what feels like forever.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
He kisses the top of my hand. “I trust you.”
“Looks like both of us will be off trying to convince others to join our fight.”
“Will it just be you and him?”
“I’m not sure. We haven’t talked about the details yet. I would assume so. Maybe one other, but we don’t want to pose as a threat and Ryder already does that by simply existing. Why?”
“Nothing, I just—nothing.” He pulls me into his chest as he lays back. “Just be safe. I need you in one piece when I get back.”
“I think I can do that.”
I try to tell myself that Damien leaving sooner means he’ll return sooner, but it does little to ease my nerves.
At least this time he won’t be headed into Strellesia.
The Southern Territories have always been known to be unproblematic, and being that his father was an emissary, I’m sure he’ll get a warm welcome.
The Dread Woods, on the other hand, are enemy territory. Whatever worries I have regarding Damien will surely be swept away the moment I land back in the dangerous forest tomorrow.
“Hey,” I offer with a quiet knock to announce my presence.
Ryder is sitting in his usual spot in the war room. There’s a detailed landscape levitating in the middle of the table. The tiny shards of glass cluster together to make model-sized images. I can tell just by the twisted and curved trees this is a mockup of the Dread Woods.
I take the seat next to him that is usually reserved for Artemus and slide over the packet of papers.
“This is all the research the others have accumulated about the Dread Woods creatures.”