Chapter 50
Ryder
How wickedly evil of her to stand before me in this dress, looking at me like I deserve her. I’ve done everything I can to push her away, but she just keeps coming back. Forcing me to fall more in love with her each time.
Music begins to play around us, filling the garden with an enchanting melody.
“Amaya,” we say in unison.
“She’s committed. I’ll give her that.”
Reign shakes her head and laughs. “She certainly is.”
I step back and take a bow. “Who am I to resist the demands of Amaya Sullivan?”
“I suppose we should save ourselves from her wrath,” Reign agrees, offering me her hand.
It feels just as perfect as it had the night with the lanterns. Almost as if she were made for me. But she wasn’t. She was made for someone else. Someone more deserving. Someone who could love her wholly.
She rests her left hand on my shoulder as I pull her into me. The music plays, and we move between the sections of flowers effortlessly. Every step is smooth and natural, as if we are one body.
The last time we danced together, she looked at me with hatred in her eyes. She saw me as the enemy. The spawn of a cruel king who would kill anyone who stood in his way. Now, she looks at me like I’m everything she didn’t know she needed.
“When did you know?” she asks, squeezing my shoulder tighter like she’s scared I’m going to slip away.
“Know, what?”
“That you loved me?”
I spin her, trying to buy myself time, but the image of her twirling around in that dress distracts me. When she comes back to me, a wave of her comes crashing into me like the sea, and I want to drown in it—in her.
“I think I felt it for a long time,” I begin to admit.
“But it wasn’t until that night on the beach in Zentria that I allowed myself to truly acknowledge it.
” She looks lost in thought as I guide us closer to the fountain in the middle.
“I tried for so long to convince myself that you were just a girl who needed my protection. That the reason I cared for you was because of the promise I had made to your father. I even clung to the guilt of what my own father had done to you, using it as an excuse for needing to be close to you. And it worked. For a while, I was able to pretend that you didn’t mean something to me.
Even when I felt shattered watching you be consumed by dragon fire, I lied to myself. It’s the only way I could survive.”
“What changed?”
“I did.” I gently push her away and spin her in, so her back is to me. “Because of you.”
She tilts her head back to look up at me, and it’s like her lips are calling my name.
How can something feel so right and be so wrong?
Streams of gold sparks suddenly rain down above us, and I’m thankful for the distraction.
“You changed me, too,” she whispers, turning around to run both hands through my hair.
When they reach the back of my neck, she laces them together, and all distance between us vanishes. She knows the consequences. She knows the wrath of my father and the limitations of the curse. But she’s here. Choosing to ignore it all. Wrapping herself in me like I’m the only thing that matters.
“I want more for you.”
“Shhh.” She rests her head on my chest as we sway back and forth. “Just be here with me.”
I do as she says, just as I always do. As I always will.
The two of us remain intertwined as we move in small circles underneath the falling sparks. We don’t say anything. We just dance, pretending that there is only this. No cruel father. No curse. Just a love that transcends it all.
It’s not until the music fades that we finally stop moving. I could’ve stayed in her embrace forever, but that would be a dream, and this is real life.
“Can I stay with you tonight?” I’m so surprised by her request that I fail to answer. “Just to sleep,” she quickly adds. “We don’t even have to touch. I just want to be next to you.”
I don’t say anything. I just grab ahold of her and take her with me like she’s a prize I’ve won. When we reappear in my bedroom, she’s slow to let go of me. Her hands trail down my chest and torso before eventually slipping away. I watch as she grabs onto the far bedpost, spinning around it.
“Is this my side?”
Her side.
She says it like she plans to stay longer than just one night. Like the two of us falling asleep next to each other is something she’s been dreaming of.
“You can have whichever side you want.”
“Such a gentleman you are,” she says as she rolls onto her side, resting her head in the palm of her hand.
“It’s just part of my irresistible charm.” I wink and notice her cheeks instantly flush despite her attempt to hide it. “Would you like something to change into?”
“Yes, please.”
I turn around and pull out one of the bigger shirts from my dresser. When I turn back, she’s standing with her back to me.
“Do you mind?” She sweeps her hair off to one side, and I have to push down all of the inappropriate thoughts that come rushing back.
I put the shirt down and begin working my fingers through the laces.
With each pull, the dress becomes looser, and she becomes more accessible.
The only thing keeping it in place once I reach the top is her hand.
Part of me wishes she would just let it fall around her, but we both know if she did, all control would cease to exist.
“Thank you.”
While she slips into the bathroom to change, I switch into a pair of loose bottoms. Normally, I would sleep in less, but the layer of clothes feels like a sort of shield, and I need all the help I can get.
Especially because when she opens the door and I see her wearing only my shirt, all sense of reason goes out the window.
Her eyes dart to the shadows that stir beneath me while mine lock on the place where the shirt ends, and her skin begins.
“Should I put on some—”
“No.” It comes out as a growl, and she turns her head, trying to hide her smirk. “Does my torment amuse you?”
“You know, you’re not the only one being tortured by this curse.”
“Oh, yeah?”
She stops in front of me, staring up through those impressively long lashes.
“It’s painful for me, too.” She runs her middle finger lightly up my arm. “To be so close to you and not be able to—”
She stops herself, dropping her hand with a sigh. The two of us seem to be at an impasse. Both unable to walk away from the other.
“I know,” I say, wrapping my arms around her.
I hate this for her. She should be able to love freely without limitation.
“We should sleep.”
I nod, and she makes her way to her side of the bed. As we lay there in the dark, I can feel her staring at me. I’m not sure what she’s thinking, but it’s loud.
“There’s something you should know,” I finally say, filling the silence.
“Sounds ominous.” She attempts a half-hearted laugh, but there’s no humor behind it.
“I was the one who brought Agatha to my father.” I can already feel the tension radiating from her side of the bed.
“It was supposed to be Emeric. That’s who he had requested.
I couldn’t do that, though. Not to you.” I keep my eyes trained on the ceiling.
“You see, Agatha knew about my part in the rebellion. She’s the only person I trusted to look after you in the Sector.
After the bombings, I had told her about my dilemma.
I was trying to work out who I could take in his place that would please my father enough, and that’s when she volunteered herself. ”
“What?” Reign sits up abruptly.
“She had lived a long life, Reign. She knew the price, and she was willing to give her life for Emeric’s. It was her choice to make.”
“I can’t believe it.” She falls back onto the bed. “She was so calm that day in the Throne Room.”
“I told my father that Emeric had died in the bombings. When I brought Agatha in, she played the part well. She wasn’t my father’s first choice, but he seemed satisfied once I told him that she was like a mother figure to you.”
She turns onto her side, slipping her hands beneath her head.
“Are you telling me this because you think it’ll make me think of you differently?”
“No,” I answer honestly. “But someday, if you choose to say those three little words back, I want you to know who you’re saying them to. Really know.”
“I know who you are.” She reaches for my face, turning it to hers.
“I see you, Ryder. I see the hurt. The anger. The sadness. The shame. The guilt.” She starts to pull her hand away, but I catch it in mine and hold it to my chest. “But I also see the remorse. The selflessness. The sacrifice. The perseverance. I don’t care about who you used to be. I only care about who you are now.”
“I am who I am now because of you.”
“That’s not true. You were already this person. I only held up the mirror.”
I pull her into me, needing to be closer. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve kept my distance from you long enough. I don’t want to do it anymore.”
Amaya seems all too pleased with herself after her little stunt with the garden last night. Normally, I would take it a little easier on her when it comes to hand-to-hand combat training, but not today.
“Okay, I guess I deserved that,” she admits, picking herself up off the mat.
“Next time, I suggest you just tell me where to be.”
“Fine,” she agrees, massaging her lower back. “In that case, I’m planning a family night at the next Skycap this week, and you need to be there.”
“Oh, I need to be there, huh?”
I hold up my hands and block three of her punches aimed at my face.
“Yes. If you’re going to win Reign over, you need to show her that you can fit into her world. The family she has made means everything to her. It would mean a lot if you were a part of it.”
“Family nights aren’t really my thing,” I tell her as she switches to kicks.
“But they’re her thing. You already have a relationship with each of us. Some might even call it a friendship…” She raises both of her brows and smiles at me. “It’s time you showed her that.”
I let out a single laugh. “I’m sure she knows.”
Amaya’s brows pinch. “Not really. Most of the time she sees you interacting with us, it’s over some kind of serious matter. Besides, if you want to stand a chance against Damien, you’re going to have to pull out all the stops. He already has you beat in the… umm… physical aspect.”
With that statement, I send her falling ass-first onto the mat.
“You’re the worst. You know that?” She slaps the mat before reaching out her hand.
“I know and I like it that way.” I pull her back up, and she rolls her eyes at me.
“Just make sure you’re there, okay?”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”