61. Chapter 55
Chapter 55
Raven
C aelan kissed me back like it might be his last chance, his lips hungry. Devouring. They sucked my lips into his mouth and teased them, nipping. His tongue delved into my mouth and his hands cradled my head, tugging me forward.
I moaned, leaning in. More. More.
But Caelan broke the kiss. His whisper reached my ear. “Why didn’t you kill me, Raven? Why didn’t you finish it?”
“I told you,” I said shakily. Our passion was already having the usual effect of making my mind fuzzy. “You’re not the Arbiter of the Reckoning.”
Caelan dropped his hands to my arms, flexing fingers betraying his desperation for an answer. “Yes, but I’m still an Havard. I’m still a Slayer. That’s all that mattered to you, once. Does it no longer?”
I hesitated.
Rosa. Havard. Tajawl. Names that once meant everything paled in comparison to the threat of the Ravager. He was evil in a way even Emperor Calathan VIII couldn’t fathom.
And besides…
My throat was so thick, I couldn’t speak. I didn’t know how to spill out all the feelings that were in me. I couldn’t make the revelation of my love into mere words to say.
Love.
Gods.
Did I love Caelan Havard?
It was a fate worse than death, a fate more blissful than any pleasure of the body could ever be. It was pain and pleasure merged into one. I had no words for any of it—not after days of watching him sleep and heal from a near-death wound that I’d given him.
So I ground into him instead. He was naked, though I wore pants that I now regretted donning.
He groaned. “Don’t you dare. You will answer me.”
I arched into him, following a wild instinct. I felt that a cage inside me had burst open and the real me had tumbled out. I felt free. “I am answering you.”
I kissed him.
My lips pressed softly at first, and then harder as his hands came around the back of my head and pulled me deeper into him. My mouth opened and he pressed his tongue inside. I moaned and he groaned in answer.
One of his hands left my head to grasp at my hip. In answer, I ground into him again.
Our lips danced in time with our hips. He bit my lip gently then devoured the inside of my mouth with his tongue. My hips teased him, rubbing on his hard cock and then pulling away to make him thrust for more. I tugged my head back slightly so I could rub my swollen lips softly against his. I nipped at his lips and the tip of my tongue dipped inside his mouth and then retreated.
He growled again. “Raven.”
My name was a groan and a prayer as Caelan’s fingers flew over the ties of my clothes. Piece by piece, he undressed me. I unclasped my weapons belt and let it fall heavily to the floor as Caelan lifted me, wincing, and walked us to the bed.
“You were recently wounded, you know,” I reminded him.
But he had no time for that now. His arms encircled me and refused to let go as he lowered both of us down naked onto the bed.
His hands lifted my legs high and wide, exposing me. I shivered as heat and moisture flooded my core. Having opened me up, Caelan pulled back. His eyes swept me up and down.
“Fuck, Raven, you’re perfect.” His eyes kept returning to that spot between my legs. It was hot and soaking wet, thrumming with desire. My nipples were hardened peaks. I could’ve kissed him all night but I wanted more, too.
But Caelan seemed to be in no rush. Though his every movement was possessed of a feral desire, he returned to kissing me slowly. He kissed down my neck and onto my breasts. He took my nipples into his mouth and suckled them until my back arched.
I was shaking with wanting, soaking and impatient. “Please.” The word slipped off my tongue and I felt no shame, though I expected Caelan to gloat.
He didn’t. Instead, his fingernails dug into my hips as he buried his face between my legs. I cried out, my desire almost at its crescendo. I felt driven wild by it. I needed only a few flicks of his tongue before it overcame me and I rode the waves of pleasure his tongue delivered.
But he was still not done. His kisses became gentle once more and then built in intensity again until I was riding his face, my hands tangled in his hair, pressing him down into me. The world disappeared. The only thing left was him and the sensations his tongue made as it flicked and licked and sucked at me.
“Gods, Caelan.”
His hand snaked up to massage my breast. He pinched my nipple, sending a searing pain through my nerves.
I cried out and he dug deeper into my core, his other hand wrapped around my thigh, squeezing tight, his fingernails piercing my skin.
It was too much. The waves crested once more as my pleasure built and shattered, the flood of it consuming my body in heat and bliss.
I was still shuddering with the aftereffects when he climbed back up my body to kiss me once again. His kiss tasted of my desire.
“Why didn’t you kill me, Raven? Why?” He begged to know between kisses.
My release had cleared my head enough to allow me to answer. “Because it cost too much, and I wasn’t sure it was the right thing, anyway.”
His eyes bored into me. They seemed to be seeking my soul behind my face. His vulnerability showed through them. He shook me a little as he asked, “What did it cost? What would it have cost you?”
Tears escaped my eyes and rolled into my hair. All my masks were gone. A lifetime of anger had retreated. “You. It would have cost me you.”
Caelan swallowed, his throat bobbing. He was very still, hovering over me as if my revelation had frozen him. “You see me,” he said finally. He sounded choked up.
“I see you. And—and I love you.” I blinked up at him as terror rose that he would not say it back. I was a fool, I was probably a total fool.
A pained look came over Caelan’s face and I tensed, ready to pull back, grab my daggers, and get out of here.
But the look transformed into relief, and then something like gratitude and bliss. Caelan leaned in to kiss me again, soft and deep. It felt like a promise, though I didn’t know what it was a promise of until he broke away again. His palm caressed my cheek and his eyes shone with undeniable feeling when he said the words. “I love you, Raven Rosa. I love every fucking thing about you. Your stubbornness and your grit, your softness and your bravery. The look on your face when you hate me is intoxicating, but it’s nothing compared to the ecstasy on your face when you give yourself up to me. Will you do it now? Will you give yourself to me?”
I found myself fervently nodding, an ache rising in my chest to do exactly that. “Yes,” I whispered. “I want to be yours. All yours, only yours.”
He shuddered, eyes closing, accepting the gift of my words with gratitude. “You are,” he said. “And I am yours.”
He was gentle as he guided himself inside me, sliding slowly into my opening. His lips didn’t leave mine as he sheathed himself inside. I felt his groan inside my mouth.
“Fuck, Raven,” he murmured.
I wiggled my hips, begging him to move.
He obliged. Slowly, at first. I encircled him with my arms and clung to him. My legs wrapped around his hips. I wanted to touch as much of his skin as I could at once. I wanted our bodies to become one body. I wanted to lose myself in his flesh.
He picked up the pace as pleasure mounted. Soon, he wasn’t fucking me gently at all. He was spearing me with his cock, over and over. I felt its tip in my stomach, piercing me like the point of a blade. Carving me open, my soul exposed. I groaned, but the pain of his depth only added to the pleasure.
“Oh, Caelan, Caelan.” I held on tight and gave myself up to bliss.